A Winding Road
by HilaryHilary
Summary: When LA born brothers, Nathan and Lucas, meet the Tree Hill clique Haley, Brooke, Peyton Jake and Chris, they never dreamed how much their lives would change and in turn be destroyed. Naley, sides of Brucas, Jeyton and JakeOC.
1. I Want So Badly to Believe

Winding Road

Chapter One: I Want So Badly to Believe

"Where am I?" asked Brooke Davis in confusion, reacting with surprise to the room that was not her own.

Haley looked up and smiled. Thought she'd long since gotten used to it, it never failed to amuse her that Brooke could be counted on to have no memory of the previous night at least twice a month.

"At my house," said Haley, walking over to the bed.

"Why?"

"Beats me. All I know is that I was having a perfectly nice evening with my boyfriend when I got a call from a cheerleader saying you needed a ride home," said Haley.

"Right. Sorry about that. Why didn't they call Trevor?" asked Brooke.

"Probably because you broke up last week," said Haley, rolling her eyes and holding back a smile.

"I knew that. Where's Peyton?" asked Brooke.

"She'll be here soon. Are you going to throw up?" asked Haley curiously.

XxxxxxX

Peyton Sawyer laughed as she walked into her best friend's bedroom and saw Brooke back asleep in bed.

"Didn't you say she came to?" asked Peyton.

"She did. And then she didn't. And now she's taking up my entire bed," said Haley.

"It's not like you need it except to sleep in," teased Peyton. Haley elbowed her gently.

"I'll be ready when I'm ready, and not before. So quit it," she said easily, with the air of someone who'd said the same thing many times before.

"Hey, she's waking up again," said Peyton eagerly. Brooke sat up again in bed.

"Is it a school day?" asked Brooke.

"No. Thankfully, seeing as we know how academically concerned you are, it's finally summer holidays. We can go downtown or something if you're up for it," suggested Haley.

"Right, summer holidays. My cousin Davis is visiting. It's going to be a blast," said Brooke.

"Davis? Her name is Davis Davis?" asked Peyton skeptically.

"No, but she's kind of a freaky Paris Hilton Angelina Jolie hybrid and when she devoted her career to this she decided thatShannon Davis wasn't LA enough so now she's Davis something else," explained Brooke.

"Davis Ryan. Everyone from here to Canada knows that," said Haley.

"Right. Anyway, she's coming," said Brooke, sounding exhausted from the whole ordeal.

"Davis Ryan sounds like two first names or two last names," said Jake Jagielski, coming into the room. Peyton smiled over her shoulder at him. He was the fourth of their quintet. In addition, it was painfully obvious to everyone but Peyton that he was in love with her and always had been.

"She's not too bright," said Brooke helpfully. "And Haley's not supposed to have boys in her bedroom."

Haley blushed and threw a pillow at Brooke, who collapsed back onto the bed in her inebriated state.

"We'll go somewhere else. Come on," she said, leading the four of them out of the room.


	2. America's Sweethearts

Chapter Two: America's Sweethearts

Nathan Scott smirked at the expression of reverence on the face of the teenage girl behind the counter of the convenience store he bought his cigarettes in. He was used to it, but it still gave him a kick.

"Thanks," he said offhandedly.

"No problem," she stuttered. Nathan took a step away from the counter, and a familiar face caught his eye; a pretty face with distinctive green eyes and trendy dark hair, with its winning cheerful smile. His girlfriend, Davis Ryan, in her charitable pose. He glanced at the headline-she'd sponsored an orphan in Angola. Like she did every other week.

He picked up the magazine and flicked through it until his own image caught his eye-him in a tux with her on his arm, looking hot in her Vera Wang gown, the one that cost more than she donated in a month.

Nathan lit a cigarette as he walked outside and down the street. He smiled at the photographers that snapped his picture as he walked-Nathan was very glad he wasn't Davis, and didn't have to pretend to be good all the time.

"Dav? Luke?" he called into the seemingly empty room.

"Where were you? God, you smell awful," said Davis, coming out of his bedroom.

"Thanks, babe. You're on the cover of People," he said.

"Yeah, I know. You're in it too. Are we going out tonight?" she asked.

"Are we breathing tonight?" Davis smiled self-confidently as Nathan glanced at her stiff, silicone filled breasts.

"Yeah, right. But we have to leave tomorrow," she said sternly.

"Where're we going?" he asked.

"Tree Hill, North Carolina. To spend the summer with my cousin," said Davis.

"Brooke? Isn't she like ten?"

"Just because Brooke was ten the last time you saw her, it didn't mean she hasn't grown. Brooke's like eighteen. She's going away to school this year," said Davis.

"Fine. Why do I have to go?" whined Nathan.

"Please, what's worth staying for without me? Luke will come to, we'll party with cheerleaders all summer," said Davis convincingly. Nathan shrugged in a way that she knew she'd won.

"Fine. I'm bored," he said. He smirked as she dropped to her knees and moved for his zipper.

"I have a very good way of handling that," she said coyly, smiling up at him.

XxxxxxX

Lucas Scott grinned as he walked uninvited into his brother's apartment.

"Dude, you've got to stop smoking in public. You made the cover of "In Touch" again," he called. In moments Nathan had appeared, fully dressed, followed by Davis, who walked out looking quite calm in her jeans and a bra.

"Just need something to fall back on. Some of us aren't comfortable with posing in our underwear for billboards, bro," said Nathan.

"Sadly for me," said Davis. Lucas slung an affectionate arm around her and kissed her temple before lightly squeezing her denim clad ass.

"Sadly for everyone," said Nathan, flexing a bicep.

"Oh, and in addition to you being a chain smoker, you two are engaged again," said Lucas lightly. Davis groaned in frustration and snatched the magazine from him.

"Damnit. Why can't these people get the facts straight? Just because marriage it the new trend doesn't mean we're ever, ever going to do it," said Davis in frustration.

"I have to call my publicist," said Nathan, fishing around in his pocket for his phone as Davis did the same. Lucas laughed.

"See this, right here, is why I don't even try for any kind of romance in LA," he said, as both began to yell into their phones.

Lucas quickly lost interest in the oft repeated rant. He turned to the magazine he'd bought. Nathan was featured on the cover, wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses, looking broody and intense, smoking a cigarette. Inside were pictures of him and Davis making out at parties, of him and Davis doing charity work, of him posing with his billionaire parents. It was a sad but undeniable fact that Nathan wasn't remotely famous in his own right. Unlike Davis, who in addition to being LA's biggest party girl, was America's golden girl for her charity work and her surprisingly clean image. He smirked at Davis, wearing a modest Chanel suit and reading to homeless kids. If only they knew…

XxxxxxX

Nathan turned away from the nameless girl he was dancing with and toward his girlfriend when she pressed up against him. They danced close, their hands traveling each other's bodies as their bodies melded together.

"Someone's been popping pills," he whispered into her ear, as her movements became more and more sexual.

"Just some X. You're no fun," she whispered.

"You're supposed to be the good one," he reminded her.

"I am. What they don't know won't hurt them," she said.

"I can't believe this is our last night here," Nathan said, giving up and allowing her hands to roam freely.

"I know. I can't believe Luke is coming," agreed Davis.

"Why is he?"

"Oh, I told him about what a hottie Brooke is becoming. She is getting hot," conceded Davis.

"She's eighteen? Kind of young, don't you think?" asked Nathan.

"Not really. He's only twenty-two. It's all good," said Davis.

"Is she anything like you?" asked Nathan. Davis considered for a moment.

"To a lesser degree," she said at last. Nathan leaned down to kiss her.

"She sounds perfect."


	3. Idealistic Future

Chapter Three: Idealistic Future

Haley stared up at her bedroom ceiling. She'd promised Brooke she'd sleep in to take advantage of her holidays, but she'd felt too guilty to get up when she'd awoken at eight, as she always did.

Her hand shot out for her phone as it rang, and she eagerly answered it.

"Your voice doesn't sound groggy. What am I going to do with you?" asked Brooke in irritation, after Haley had answered and she realized that her best friend had already awoken.

"You know, you could give up. Where are you?" asked Haley curiously.

"Hell," said Brooke bitterly. Haley paused for a second.

"Oh, Country Club blues?" she asked sympathetically.

"Yep. I was dragged here for some function. Then I managed to sneak out but no one's here except for Chris," said Brooke bitterly.

"You're hanging out at the most boring place on Earth with my boyfriend?" asked Haley. Brooke laughed.

"Yep. I'll be seeing you soon?" she guessed.

XxxxxxX

Haley quickly rounded up Peyton and Jake before heading out to join Brooke and Chris. This was their way. None of the five ever went anywhere apart if they didn't have to, unless it was a "Girl's Night" or a "Guy's Night", in which case they usually ended up melding together anyway. They were a set. They always had been.

It had started off as just Brooke and Haley, best friends since birth. They'd reached elementary school and been introduced to Peyton, who was lost and lonely and in need of friends. In need of them. The three formed a trio that would become one of the most elite in their school.

In grade five, there had only been one addition to their small class. Jake Jagielski, a recent transfer, small, scared and alone. Peyton, having grown out of her youthful shyness, immediately took him under her wing. In time he grew tall and handsome, but Peyton never seemed to see anything other than the boy that had once needed her so desperately.

Chris Keller had come in later. After they were in eighth grade, and old enough for attractions, Chris had come along. Tall, mysterious, Chris. All three girls had immediately fallen for him, but it only took six months for him to fall in turn for Haley, and begin a relationship that lasted all the way through high school.

Haley and Chris were a dream couple. He was a bit too tall and skinny, and she was a bit too inverted, but being such a perfect fit, and being so close to the social elitists of the school made them the picture perfect couple in the town. Everyone knew their future. They'd get married, leave Tree Hill, go off to become a famous duet in LA and then come back to Tree Hill to live in a nice house and have babies. It was the plan. And so far, they were sticking to it.

Peyton glanced down at the ring on her best friend's finger. Technically, she had nothing to worry about. It wasn't a wedding ring. It wasn't even an engagement ring. It was a promise ring. Making them "practically engaged" in the eyes of anyone who really cared. Peyton was among the few to see the strains in their relationship. They had changed. It had been a while. They deserved a break.

She pushed these thoughts out of her head as they pulled up to the country club and got out of the car. It was summertime, and summer deserved to be fun.

Brooke threw her arms around Peyton in relief when the two groups met up. Both girls rolled their eyes when Haley and Chris met up. He kissed her briefly, and she blushed. It had been five years, but Haley still refused to be "coupley" in public.

"So, want to play a round of golf?" asked Jake sarcastically.

"We could swim. I have my suit," suggested Haley.

"Please, the idea of Chris in a bathing suit is rather disturbing. Let's go eat, I'm starving," said Brooke, taking Haley by the arm and leading the group to the dining room.

"So why're you up before noon?" asked Haley suspiciously, as the five of them sat down.

"Maybe because I knew you would be," said Chris. She smiled flirtatiously at him while Brooke mimed throwing up into her napkin.

"We have to do something about this summer. So far it's seriously sucking," whined Brooke.

"Summer holidays started two days ago. How about we chill before we start getting arrested?" suggested Peyton.

"You're no fun. Hey, what's that?" wondered Brooke aloud, as they noticed a small commotion in the entryway. Her eyes grew wide as realization struck her. She shrieked and took to her heels as the waitress arrived at the table.

"BROOKE!" screamed Davis, as her cousin came running. The two girls met and threw their arms around each other. Brooke's friends had seen Davis in magazines and knew the similarities between the two, but the Scott brothers reacted with shock when they saw Davis' slightly younger carbon copy.

Haley grabbed Peyton's arm and walked over to join them, feeling self conscious.

"Hey," said Peyton.

"Oh, these are my friends Haley and Peyton," said Brooke. Nathan glanced over, glanced away, and glanced back again.

"Hey," he said to Haley. Peyton and Brooke both expected to look but she surprised all three of them by looking coyly at him.

"Hey," she said back.

"Damn, maybe the sticks aren't so bad," said Nathan to the assembled group. Haley's smile dropped.

"Nathan, be nice," said Davis, moving into him and abandoning her cousin.

"Uh, this is Haley," said Brooke, glancing between the two, noticing their obvious affect on each other.

"How're you doing, Haley?" asked Nathan.

"Good. And very involved," she said, hoping Chris would chose that moment to amble over. When she didn't feel the familiar presence of his arm around her shoulders, she settled for twirling a lock of hair around her left index finger and hoping his eyes would fall on the ring that marked her as taken. But in the ring, Nathan Scott saw nothing but a challenge.


	4. Special Kind of Summer

Chapter Four: Special Kind of Summer

"So, is cradle robbing your new hobby?" asked Lucas, as he and Nathan drove away from the club. Nathan laughed.

"She's hot. And you were totally checking out the blonde," argued Nathan.

"And I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be falling for the brunette. But she's Davis' twin. It's creepy," said Lucas.

"One of them is plenty," agreed his brother.

"Did you see her face when you were flirting with the kid? Dude, she's insane," said Lucas.

"Davis? A little neurotic, far from insane. She's practically harmless," disagreed Nathan.

XxxxxxX

Lucas focused his attention on the TV when he heard a low moan of desire from the direction of his brother's room. At the best of time, his big brother made him annoyed. Nathan had been showing obvious signs of desire to deflower a high school kid two hours previously, and now he was in the next room over, happily screwing the girl that the entire male population of America wanted to screw.

He puzzled again over a thought that had always puzzled him: how exactly was Davis Ryan famous, anyway? Sure she was a party girl, but so was everyone in LA that mattered. Sure she gave money to charity, but that wasn't exactly unique. She'd briefly modeled, but it continually plagued him that the girl who partied for a living was America's darling.

Lucas got hastily to his feet as a knock sounded on the door.

"Hey," he said in surprise to the pretty brunette at the door.

"Hey. Lucas, right? Davis told me that this was her room," said Brooke in surprise.

"Yeah, I really wouldn't recommend going in there right now," said Lucas awkwardly, standing aside to give her admittance to the room.

"Are the all American boy and the golden girl going at it? Ooh, dirt," said Brooke excitedly.

"Trust me, it's not an uncommon occurrence. So you do realize that we've been set up, right?" asked Lucas.

"Of course. Who says I mind?" asked Brooke. Lucas cracked a smile.

"I wouldn't dare," he said.

"She's such a meddler," said Brooke in slight disgust.

"Like you weren't continually pushing Haley toward Nathan," said Lucas. Brooke shrugged.

"That's different. Haley can't marry Chris. He's not attractive anymore and he's too damn tall for her. They've got no chemistry anymore, but she's never going to realize it. So I have to take matters into my own hands," explained Brooke.

"How noble of you. Especially the part about pushing your best friend towards your cousin's boyfriend," said Lucas.

"I know. But I don't want her to hook up with Nathan because he's an asshole and she never will, I only want her to figure out what she's missing. And don't think I didn't notice you making eyes at Peyton," teased Brooke.

"I got the impression that she was taken."

"That wasn't a denial. Yeah, Jake's just a friend," she explained.

"A friend who's madly in love with her?" he asked.

"The best kind, I've always thought. She's blind," said Brooke, her voice warning him.

"Who's to say I don't have a girlfriend?" asked Lucas.

"Please. You're Lucas Scott. You're Nathan Scott's brother. You're Davis Ryan's… friend slash almost sister in law. If you were dating anyone it would make the front cover of US," said Brooke.

"Of course."

"You're laughing at me," accused Brooke.

"You're funny," said Lucas.

"Do you know what I'm doing here, Lucas?" she asked abruptly.

"I have some idea," he said slowly.

"You know, this is a going to be a long, boring summer. Partying and tanning can only take you so far. I'm going to be looking for some other way to spend my time. Tell me if you think of anything," suggested Brooke lightly. A smile played around Lucas' lips.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said to himself as she walked out of the room.

XxxxxxX

"This summer's going to rock," announced Brooke Davis, coming into Haley's room to discover Haley and Peyton sitting on the bed reading magazines.

"Yeah. I'm having so much fun already," said Peyton sarcastically.

"No, seriously. I just lined up a steamy summer affair and Haley's making flirt eyes with Nathan. It's perfect," said Brooke happily. Peyton frowned. She had some idea of how Brooke's "affair" would go, and who her affair would be with.

"I was not making flirt eyes. That's ridiculous," said Haley, flashing her left hand. Normally such a gesture would show the silver promise ring on her finger.

"You're not wearing your ring," observed Peyton. Haley blushed and grabbed it from the nightstand.

"It was bothering me. Earlier. Nathan has a girlfriend. I have Chris. I love him," said Haley.

"No you don't," muttered Peyton. Haley heard her but pretended she hadn't.

"What are we doing tonight?" asked Haley.

"Party at my place. For Nathan and Davis and Lucas. Be there or be bored," said Brooke.

Haley dropped backward onto her bed.

"This summer," she said dramatically, "Is going to _suck."_


	5. Glance Back

Chapter Five: Glance Back

Haley took a shaky breath as she and Peyton entered Brooke's house. Besides the fact that her bustier was somewhat constricting, she was nervous. She usually was.

Nathan and Davis were immediately locatable. They were in the middle of the room, surrounded by everyone who "mattered" in Tree Hill. Peyton took Haley's hand and dragged her over toward them.

The two were instantly swallowed up by the crowd. Brooke was already slightly drunk, with an affectionate arm around Davis. Nathan smirked when he saw Haley and slung his own arm around her shoulders.

"Hey," he said to hear, speaking loudly over the noise of the party.

"Do you remember my name?" she asked.

"I'm not as bad as you think," he said, smirking.

"Fine, then prove me wrong," Haley said. He took his arm from her shoulders and took her hand, and began to lead her toward the dance floor.

While Brooke distracted Davis, Peyton watched in undisguised interest while they began to dance. A fast song came on and Haley began to move rhythmically to the music, inches away from Nathan. Close enough to feel the heat of his body, far enough to not touch. Haley recognized his attraction to her, and flaunted it. For the first time in her life, she was playing someone. It felt good.

Peyton knew what was happening, and it scared her. She was scared that Haley was killing herself inside, that within weeks or even days, there wouldn't be any true Haley left, only the demons inside of her that were dying to get out. Peyton looked uneasily around the room until her eyes settled on Chris, sitting in the corner with a few other guys, smoking and laughing his laugh. He didn't love her, Peyton realized. She wondered if he ever had.

"You look cheery," observed Jake, coming up behind her. She jumped slightly when he comfortingly placed his hand on her elbow.

"Look at that. She's crying out for his attention. She shouldn't have to," said Peyton miserably.

"Either they'll break up or he'll open his eyes. Either way it'll work out," said Jake.

"Or she'll just continue to deal with him treating her like he's better than her, like they've been doing for years. How can she be so blind?" she wondered.

"She grew up in a family of eight. How would you feel, if you'd been overlooked your entire life and then suddenly some guy finally liked you better than your best friends?" asked Jake.

"That was five years ago," said Peyton.

"Give it time. In the meantime, I'm taking you home. Come on," he said, his hand slipping down from her elbow to take her hand. She let him take it. She didn't react. He was Just Jake.

But to him, she couldn't be farther from being Just Peyton.

Nathan knowingly followed Haley into an empty bedroom. He was a bit disappointed. He had already been looking forward to exploring his opportunities, making a conquest. She was just too easy.

Haley casually walked to the window while he closed and locked the door behind them. He watched her for a moment, admiring her form, before walking up to her and placing a hand on her shoulder. She shivered slightly and moved away.

"Oh, you thought that we were actually going to make out?" asked Haley.

"Not make out, no," said Nathan. He smirked again.

"Funny," said Haley. Nathan paled visibly when he realized that he, the notorious player, had been played.

"Trying to get your boyfriend jealous?" asked Nathan.

"Just trying to blow off steam," said Haley lightly.

"You know, you're not as innocent as I thought," he said.

"No one is that innocent," laughed Haley.

"You had me fooled."

"And I'm proud of that. We've been here a while now. I think enough suspicion's been aroused, we can go now," said Haley. She had only taken three steps before he was right behind her. She gasped in surprise as he grabbed her wrist and turned her around.

Nathan grabbed her shoulder and threw her down onto the bed underneath him. She trembled in fear mingled with hate and desire.

"Get off of me," she said.

"Suddenly it's not a game, is it?" he said.

"You're a pig," Haley said.

"Stop wiggling. I'm not going to hurt you. It takes the fun out of it. I'm just letting you now that you're not going to play me. No one does," he said. In an instant he was off her again.

Haley scowled and straightened her bustier as he walked toward the door.

"But that doesn't mean we can't play," he said, smiling at her as he left. He ducked just in time: the only object within Haley's reach was an alarm clock. It would do.

XxxxxxX _(The Next Day)_

Brooke frowned as she wandered back to the deck of the Country club pool and saw Davis reclined on a chair.

"You know, you're going to get lines," stated Brooke. Davis pulled her headphones out of her ears and looked down to where her iPod was balanced on her flat, tanned stomach. She rolled her eyes and placed it on the chair beside her.

"What's up?" she asked.

"What are you doing here?" demanded Brooke.

"You're the one who invited me," said Davis, sitting up and adjusting the insufficient fabric of her bikini to better cover her breasts.

"I've been inviting you every year since I was eleven. How's this one any different?" asked Brooke.

"Because this year I decided to come," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Is your life in LA so secretly pathetic that you have to come to small town North Carolina to party?" demanded Brooke.

"Wow, being overshadowed really drives you crazy," said Davis, laughing.

"Shut up. You are in no way hotter than me. What are you doing here? Getting our blessing on Nathan?"

"Nathan and I are never going to get married. We're not really ever going to be monogamists. It's time the world realizes. What's up with your friend Haley, by the way?" asked Davis brightly.

"Oh, the one your boyfriend has the hots for? She's my best friend, but she's harmless. Virginal and loyal to her perfect boyfriend," said Brooke bitterly.

"Jealous," accused Davis.

"Not really. He's an ass. I just have to meddle before they get engaged," said Brooke.

"I'm always up for meddling," said Davis. Brooke smirked and looked sideways. It was a good thing, perhaps, that Davis Ryan was too cold to realize the power of attraction.


	6. Worlds Colliding

Chapter Six: Worlds Colliding

_Author's note: In a review, someone thought I'd made a mistake in referring to Nathan as the elder brother. This is NOT a mistake. It is important to the plot, you'll understand why later._

"Did you have a good time?" asked Chris. Haley reflected that he was a little bit drunk and therefore liable to get them both killed.

"Yeah, it was fun. Did you?" she asked.

"The same as always," said Chris.

"_Yeah, right. The same as always. Not worth our time. Then why do you bother, Chris? Is status really so important to you?"_ said Haley to herself. She shook her head to shake away the rebellious thought. What was wrong with her lately?

"What are you doing tomorrow?" she says instead.

"I have a gig out in Charlotte," he said. She frowned.

"Were you even going to tell me?"

"I just did, didn't I?" said Chris.

"Yeah. I'm going shopping. With Peyton and Brooke and Davis," said Haley.

"Is Davis staying the whole summer?" he asked.

"If Nathan doesn't get bored before then," said Haley, rolling her eyes. She looked sideways to see if he had reacted to Nathan's name.

He hadn't.

XxxxxxX

Peyton clutched Jake's arm as they walked up the front steps of her house and giggled nervously. Alcohol took a long time to enter her system. It was a known fact about her that she forgot a lot.

"How much further?" she asked, stumbling as she took a step. He instinctively tightened his grip on her arm.

"Just a few feet. Come on," he said soothingly. She leaned against him as he fumbled around in her purse and uncovered her house key.

"Why is it so dark?" she asked in surprise, when they entered.

"Because it's nighttime. Come on, let's go upstairs," he said.

"Nope, not happening. Can I sleep here?" she asked, as they reached the first step. He sighed inaudibly, hooked his arm around her knees and scooped her up. She giggled.

"Thank you, Jakey," she said into his ear.

Feeling guilty and intrusive, he took off her shoes when he placed her one her bed and she let her eyes close.

"Sleep well," he said. He stood up and let himself ache for her.

"I will. Goodnight," she said, her words slurred and irregular. He leaned down and brushed a kiss on her forehead.

"Good night, baby," he whispered to her. He didn't hear her. Even if she had, she would never remember it. This was how it always was.

Brooke smirked as the last car left from her driveway. Her house was practically empty-all her best friends had left, all her not so close friends, all the kids she'd never even met. There was only one guest left over-a tall blonde boy, asleep on the couch. Exactly where she wanted him.

She wandered around the house impatiently while she waited for him to awaken. She freshened her lipgloss, tugged her shirt down to expose more of her breast. Seduction was an intricate, dangerous game. A game she knew how to play.

Lucas shook his head to clear it as he came to. Slowly he sat up and examined his surroundings: a large, elegant house with obvious evidence of a wild party. He shut his eyes tightly and opened them again before he remembered that he'd come with Nathan, that Nathan was nowhere to be seen.

"Hello?" he said, into the apparent emptiness. He blinked rapidly as a light clicked on.

"Hey, superstar," said Brooke. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he looked over to her. Slowly, bits of her were revealed to him: her long, slim, bare legs, the brief jean skirt she was wearing, her flat, toned stomach, and her lace covered breasts. With smooth, catlike movements, she made her way over to him.

"What are you doing?" he said, his voice shaking as he sat up and planted his feet on the floor.

"Whatever you want me to do, Scott," she said, putting her arms around his neck before sitting down on his lap and wrapping her legs around his waist. His hands automatically wound around her.

"Oh, so you do know my last name," he said. She leaned forward and gently kissed his neck before whispering into his ear.

"I know a lot about you. But I'd like to know a whole lot more," she said. Brooke kissed the corner of his mouth, and as the sexual desires in Lucas awakened he had to force himself to hold back.

Sensing his unwillingness, she moved her lips slightly until they covered his. He immediately responded, and they kissed passionately. Underneath her, as his hands gripped her back tightly, she felt him harden.

"Stop. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't want to. But I'm not going to sleep with you tonight," said Lucas firmly.

"Well, then you're in luck. Because what I had planned didn't involve much sleep," she said. He firmly grasped her waist and lifted her onto him and safely onto the couch beside him.

"I'm going to be around all summer, Brooke. This would just make things awkward," he said. For a fleeting instant, she wondered what he would have done had Peyton made the same advances.

"I should have gotten you drunker," said Brooke in resentment. The house was completely silent for a while, before it was filled with his genuine full throated laugh.

"Maybe you should have. You know no guy that you throw yourself at is ever going to respect you," said Lucas.

"Please. You're an underwear model in LA. You're not supposed to care," she said.

"I just acknowledged that there just might be more to Brooke Davis than popularity and beauty. How about you do the same?" he suggested.

"Fine. You, Lucas Scott, are deep and soulful and brooding. Sorry I sent your ride home without you," she said. He laughed again.

"No biggie. Davis probably wasn't hard to convince," said Lucas, smiling to himself.

"You know, I read somewhere that you're secretly in love with her," said Brook, evaluating his reaction.

"Davis is the hardest person in the world to love. I don't know if anyone truly does, and I think that's the way she wants it," said Lucas simply.

"That's mean."

"That's true. And it doesn't come accidentally. You know that," he said. She nodded reluctantly and smiled sideways at him.

"Maybe that's why Nathan wants Haley so badly," suggested Brooke.

"Actually, I can't make anything out of that one," admitted Lucas.

"Or maybe it's the whole unattainable thing. Because she is. Even to Chris," said Brooke.

"This really disturbs you, doesn't it?" observed Lucas.

"Chris? Hell yes. Have you seen the guy?" asked Brooke.

"He's tall. Do you want to hang out tomorrow?" asked Lucas. Brooke smirked to herself.

"Depends on what hanging out entails," she said, pulling his face toward hers and kissing him again.


	7. To Not Believe in Soulmates

Chapter Seven: To Not Believe in Soulmates

For only a moment, Nathan wondered if he was still dreaming when he awoke and saw Haley wandering around his hotel room, examining his belongings as if she owned the place.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he demanded, sitting straight up.

"Oh, I can leave if you want," she said coyly. He fell back onto his bed.

"That wasn't an answer," he mumbled.

"I wanted to hang out," Haley said awkwardly.

"Oh, use me some more to get your boyfriend jealous? Because that worked out so well last time," he said.

"Go to hell. I don't see why you object so strongly to hanging out. I'm too young for you, anyway," she said.

"Fine someone who cares, Haley. And most guys have a problem with being a boytoy without the benefits," said Nathan. Smirking to himself, he got out of bed and stood before her, bearing his muscled body to her for the first time.

"Boxers. Huh. You know, I read once you had a nipple ring," she said.

"I did. Davis made me take it out. You've been following our lives?" he asked.

"Yes, desperately. It's been truly inspirational. I especially love the photos of you wandering around LA smoking that seem to be in US every week," she said sarcastically.

"What can I say, I'm deep. I brood," he said. She walked slowly over to him, her eyes on his chest. "Try to be more obvious Hales."

"Shut up. What's that?" she asked in concern. He looked down to the raised scar on his muscled abdomen.

"Knife fight," bragged Nathan. She raised an eyebrow.

"Liar. It's definitely a surgical wound," she argued.

"Yeah. A long time ago. I like making up stories about it though," he said. Haley laughed a half laugh, but her eyes were still on the scar. Slowly she reached out her hand and ran it along the surface, feeling the wound as well as his muscled body. Her hand moved back and forth across it and suddenly Nathan realized that his eyes weren't on her hand, or even her breasts.

There were on her eyes, willing her to look at him.

"Do me a favour?" he asked, the words slipping out of his mouth without permission.

"Because you're so inclined to do the same?" she asked, stepping away and dropping her hand.

"Maybe I will, if you help me out. Just come to LA with me. I need the media to believe that Davis and I have broken up before they start to make rumours. You just need to come and hang around for two days and maybe go out one night. It's what you want, isn't it? To make him jealous?" asked Nathan.

"I don't trust you," said Haley.

"I don't expect you to. So are you coming or not?" he asked.

"Where can I stay?"

"In my place. There's lots of rooms," said Nathan.

"Okay. I can come," said Haley.

"But of course, all that only matters until you move into my room," said Nathan. She slapped him, like he'd expected her to.

But she didn't change her mind.

XxxxxxX

Peyton lazily opened her eyes as the morning sun began to intrude into her sleep. She felt slightly hung-over, but nothing she knew she couldn't handle. All her senses sharpened when she noticed a presence on her right side.

"Jake?" she guessed, before turning around.

"Peyton? You're awake, finally," he said.

"Yeah. You took me home, didn't you. Thanks," she said. She rolled over and affectionately snuggled up to him.

"No problem," he said, winding an arm around her.

"You're so different from other boys, Jake. You're my best friend," she said fondly.

"I know. I love you too," he said.

"It's more than that. You're so much better than ordinary guys. Why can't all guys be like that? It makes it so much harder to find people," she complained. He hadn't let himself be hopeful, but still he was disappointed. He firmly kissed the top of her head.

"Stop it, you're making me blush," he said.

"Like anything could. Brooke said she was going to seduce Lucas, I wonder how it went," said Peyton.

"Sorry, I don't know. When we left, Haley and Nathan were still locked up in a bedroom together," said Jake.

"Oh. Well, serves him right."

"Who, Nathan?" asked Jake in confusion.

"No, Chris. Nathan's a chauvinistic pig, but he doesn't quite deserve my wrath," she said.

"Good to hear. Very few do. What are you doing today?" he asked.

"Oh, CD shopping," she said.

"Nice. Want me to come so you don't have to be alone?" asked Jake. For a second he pictured it: Peyton endlessly flipping through the old records, Jake making wisecracks while he followed her around. Them going out to get ice cream, like they always did. Them going back to his room. Them kissing. Them…

Thoughts turn so easily into fantasies.

Fantasies so rarely into life.

"No, that's okay, I'm meeting Lucas," she said.

"As in Brooke's new boyfriend?"

"They're not. But yeah, we have similar tastes," she said, getting out of bed. Jake watched her go, knowing he and her would never have "similar tastes". They only had their similar past.

XxxxxxX

Jake drove slowly down the street, disgusted with himself. He was being pathetic, he knew. Only pathetic people loved people and never spoke up about it, only pathetic people drove slowly past the record store to see their loves with other men. Only pathetic people thrived on this unique form of torture.

When his mother called him and requested his presence at the Country Club, he went automatically. It didn't matter what he did anymore. He was merely a shell. Dead on the inside.

He played a round of golf with his father and disappeared immediately afterward. Lucas and Peyton were at the record store, Chris was in Charlotte, Haley was missing and Brooke, who he was least close to, never woke up before noon on weekends. He was alone.

"Hey, you're Jake, right?" said a voice. He turned around toward the female voice behind them.

"Yeah. Hey Davis," he said. She smiled up at him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Nothing," said Jake.

"Isn't your girl out with Luke?" pressed Davis.

"She's not my girl. And yeah, they're shopping," he said.

"Yet you immediately knew who I was referring to."

"Well, I knew she was with Luke. Where's your man?" asked Jake. She followed him outside and they sat on a bench.

"Mysteriously absent. I'm thinking I'll figure it out by the time tabloids come out tomorrow. My life's like that," she said. He smiled at her tragic expression.

"And you wouldn't give it up for the world," said Jake. She smiled slowly.

"Probably not, but it revolves around being dramatic," she said.

"How did you get so famous, anyway?" he asked curiously.

"My Daddy's very, very rich. Uh Nathan's very rich and was a famous athlete for about a minute and a half, I was a Bond girl two years ago and I've done some modeling, I guess," she said.

"Doesn't sound too hard," said Jake.

"It's easy. A career I definitely recommend. Do you have a job, Jake?" asked Davis.

"Not really. I'm going away to school in September," he said.

"Nice. I went to UCLA for like a year. Wasn't my thing," she said.

"What is your thing, Davis Ryan?" he asked in bemusement. She leaned closer, until their faces were only inches apart.

"Hang around and I'll show you," she whispered.


	8. Shattered Dreams

Chapter Eight: Shattered Dreams

Peyton smiled to herself as she walked into Jake's house and called out to him. They were beyond locks, keys and even knocks, as far she knew.

He didn't answer when she called him, even thought she knew he was around. She ran up the stairs to his bedroom, looking for her best friend.

She gasped theatrically when she opened his bedroom door. She was used to the sight of Jake without his clothes. She'd had to be, after all their long years of asexual sleepovers. But a sight she'd never be used to was Jake with a woman astride him, completely naked herself. A woman pressing forward her hips to welcome his thrusts, a woman who was calling out his name in desire.

"Jake!" called out Peyton. Ever after, she'd wonder how he could distinguish this from the cries of desire.

He withdrew from her in one smooth movement, and she fell awkwardly onto the bed, revealing her face. Peyton recoiled in surprise, recognizing the long dark hair, the hazel eyes, the full pouty lips.

"Davis," she whispered. They met eye contact. It was all Peyton needed.

She ran.

Jake leapt out of bed and pulled on his boxers and then his jeans, before running around in search for his shirt. Davis wrapped herself in his sheets.

"Told you she was your girl," said Davis.

"Shut up. I need to go after her. Where the hell is my shirt?" he said desperately.

"Whatever. What kind of person doesn't knock?" wondered Davis.

"A person who's never had to before. Be out of here by the time I get back," he said, abandoning his search and running out topless.

Peyton ran down the stairs, blinded by her tears. She didn't know why she felt so betrayed. Jake wasn't a virgin. He'd been with many girls, been serious with none of them. To her knowledge, he'd never screwed another man's girlfriend though.

"Peyton!" he called out. She increased her pace before he caught her arm in an iron grip by the door.

"Go away, Jake. She's waiting for you," said Peyton angrily.

"She's not. She doesn't matter," said Jake. Peyton struggled against his grip and he took her other arm in his other hand to face her.

"You can't say that," said Peyton.

"I can. She doesn't. Nothing matters except you," he said.

"What?"

"I love you. I always have. Don't you know that yet?" Peyton shook her head slowly as her tears slowly dried.

"I love you too, Jake," she said in confusion. He didn't even get excited by this. He knew the look in her eyes all too well.

"Not like that. More than that. Much more," he said. His grip loosened and slowly she eased herself away.

"I can't trust you like that anymore," she said slowly. She put her arms loosely around his neck and kissed his cheek gently, noticing for the first time his hard stomach muscles beneath her.

For a moment, he considered turning his face to make their lips meet, but he knew it wasn't time. For the first time in years, he was absolutely certain that their Time would never come.

XxxxxxX

Haley sat beside Nathan, completely unaware of how her world was being deconstructed at that very moment.

"I didn't even bring a toothbrush," she said, looking sideways at him.

"I'm pretty sure they have those in LA," said Nathan, smiling.

"Or like anything to wear. And people are going to be taking lots of photos, aren't they?" she said curiously.

"Lots of photos. I'll take you shopping," he promised.

"You're being nice. It's disconcerting," she informed him.

"Thanks, Princess," said Nathan.

"Don't you "Princess" me. Your girlfriend is freaking royalty," said Haley.

"You really don't like you, do you," stated Nathan.

"What gave you that clue?" she asked sweetly.

"Nothing in particular. Do you?" he pressed.

"Not nearly as much as I dislike you," she said, looking ahead of her to avoid his eyes.

"Well, of course not," said Nathan.

"She's merely annoying. She's got nothing on you," said Haley.

"We're going to be a very convincing couple, don't you think?" he asked.

"Heck yes," she said, her face completely serious before she burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Brooke Davis, back in Tree Hill, smirked when she realized what had happened. No one else seemed to realize. No one understood Haley like she did, no one understood the thirst for rebellion under her innocent exterior.

She wished Chris was in town so he could notice her absence, and so Brooke could rub it in his face. She's always predicted this would happen, that Haley would eventually see the light. She'd just never predicted it would happen with Nathan Scott.

Brooke all but skipped over to Lucas' hotel. She banged repeatedly on the door until he opened it, obviously having just woken up from a midday nap.

"Hey babe. Haley's missing," she said in elation. He raised his eyebrows and let her in.

"Uh, goody?" he said, as Brooke kicked off her shoes and bounced onto his head.

"So's Nathan. I figure they ran away to LA," said Brooke.

"Huh. Guess there's more to her than I thought. Who knew? You seen Davis?" he asked. Brooke frowned.

"No. But apparently she slept with Jake. Peyton's heartbroken," said Brooke.

"Why?" asked Lucas in surprise.

"What do you mean, why? Why shouldn't she be?"

"Because they're just friends, and it's just sex. He didn't cheat on her, Davis isn't a hooker, Davis won't give him an STD or get pregnant. Frankly it's not even her business," said Lucas. Brooke frowned.

"Do you like her? And of course it's her business. He's her best friend. He's in love with her," said Brooke.

"Is she in love with him?"

"No. But she should be. And she will be. So don't you mess with them," said Brooke warningly.

"Then I guess I'm going to have to keep myself entertained else where," he said. She smiled, stood up and wrapped an arm around his neck.

"Got any ideas?" she asked before he kissed her and lowered her onto the bed underneath him.

3


	9. Undeniable

Chapter Nine: Undeniable

Lucas ran into the room early the next morning, waking Brooke from her light slumber. She rolled over in surprise to stare at him.

"What's wrong?"

"You were right. They're in LA. Look," he said, tossing her a tabloid. She scanned the front cover, and the three pictures on it. One of Haley and Nathan getting off a private jet, holding hands, another of them entering a high rise apartment building and a third of them walking together down the busy street, their hands intertwined again.

"Posing as a couple," said Brooke, under her breath, reading the headlines that proclaimed that Nathan Scott was in LA with his new girlfriend.

"Or actually a couple. Idiot. He's ruined her before she's had a chance to begin," said Lucas, staring at Haley.

"Why would they do this? He's with Davis. It makes no sense," said Brooke.

"I think they're trying to throw someone off scent. Damnit. She's just a kid," said Lucas. Brooke frowned.

"She's my age."

"He's older," said Lucas distractedly.

"Davis is going to be heartbroken," said Brooke. Lucas let out a grim laugh.

"No, she's not, she just slept with Jake. They've never been a couple in that sense," he said.

"Weird. I never knew my cousin was such a… whore is the word that immediately comes to mind," she said bitterly. Lucas looked up from the magazine in surprise and noted her worried expression. Sighing, he dropped it on the dresser before sitting down beside her.

"Cheer up. It'll all work out, I promise. If it's meant to happen, it will," he promised, putting his arm around her.

"You're nice," she said. He kissed her temple.

"I think you bring it out in me," he said.

"Haley will be okay. Everything will be okay. Don't worry about it," said Brooke comfortingly.

"She's a nice kid. She has a boyfriend. What was she thinking?" wondered Lucas.

"Sometimes it's impossible to know what Brooke is thinking under the surface," said Brooke, sighing to herself.

XxxxxxX

Peyton turned her car stereo up to full volume, desiring more than anything to drown out her pain. As her phone rang she clicked it off knowing that it would be either Jake, who she didn't want to talk to, Brooke, who would make her cry, or Lucas, who still fell into something of a gray area.

Peyton knew who she wanted to talk to more than anyone. Haley would be calm and collected yet sympathetic and reasonable. Yet Haley had run off for some unknown reason and was at that moment living the life in LA, and very possibly having sex with Nathan Scott.

_"Damn him. Damn all of them. Why did they have to come and ruin our lives?"_ said Peyton to herself. She reasoned that what it all came down to was that Davis had come to visit Brooke, brought Nathan and Lucas, who's done nothing but wreak havoc since the moment they'd arrived. With Haley, with Brooke, and now with her and Jake.

Her tears had dried by the time she arrived home and ran up to her room, but nothing had changed the feeling of pain in her heart. She looked around, reminders of him everywhere. They'd gone to the prom together, and had the picture to prove it. It was something they'd always promised each other they'd do. Neither had been in a relationship, and they'd had a blast.

Her hand wound around the t-shirt of his that she'd nicked years ago to use for sleeping. Her eyes fell onto another photograph, taken at the beginning of their senior year, featuring the five of them: Chris with his arms around Brooke and Haley, Jake and Peyton with their arms around each other. They weren't even a couple yet they were infinitely closer than Chris and Haley, who'd been a couple for years.

XxxxxxX

Davis smiled when Jake came back into the room, wearing nothing but his jeans.

"I thought I told you to get out," he said, looking past her.

"Most girls don't react so well to being treated like this," said Davis.

"Most girls aren't you. You have a boyfriend, Davis. What the hell were we thinking?" he demanded.

"We weren't thinking. That's the whole point," she said, smiling.

"Don't you love him?" asked Jake.

"Who, Nathan? God no. At this moment he's in LA with some other girl. We never really had a deep or spiritual connected," said Davis.

"Big shocker there. Get out," he said coolly.

"You're being an asshole. It's not exactly endearing. Especially to her," said Davis.

"Get out," he said again. This time, she compiled.

After she was gone, Jake attempted to call Peyton's phone again, only to ring through to her message machine. He left his third message, even though he knew she'd delete it without bothering to listen. He knew he was killing her, but he didn't know why. She'd said she didn't love him. He believed her.

Jake knew that if Peyton loved him, she wouldn't have ever waited around like he'd always done. She'd have done something about it. This was how he knew she entertained no feelings for him. It had been painfully obvious for years.


	10. Finally Falling

Chapter Ten: Finally Falling

Nathan watched in amusement as Haley ran around his apartment.

"This place is incredible," she said in awe.

"You're like a little kid in a candy store," he said.

"Well, who wouldn't be? Are you going to call Davis?" she asked.

"No. She'll figure it out. Are you going to call Chris?"

"I don't want him to figure it out. And shouldn't you guys be like… closer or something? You've been together for almost a year and half," she said reproachfully.

"Don't lecture me. Davis and I have clear boundaries on our relationship, and she understands them. This doesn't break any of them," he said simply.

"That's sick," said Haley in disgust.

"That's life, darling," he said. "And how is it any worse for throwing yourself at me to make him jealous? You shouldn't have to chase after him."

"And you shouldn't have to chase after me, but it doesn't mean you don't," said Haley knowingly.

"You don't have to be so high on yourself, little girl," he said.

"Tell me you see me as a little girl and I'll cut you some slack," she promised, moving close to him. He didn't reach for her, but he willed her to come closer when she brushed up against him to the point that their clothing was touching without their bodies making any contact.

"I…"

"I reduce you to a stuttering wreck," she said proudly. Suddenly he grasped her shoulders and shoved her against the wall behind them.

"Woman, has anyone ever scolded you in your entire life?" he demanded.

"Why, do I need discipline?" she asked alluringly.

"You sound just like her," said Nathan. Haley's slight smiled disappeared and she forcefully shoved him off of her.

"Well then I guess I really am your kind of girl," said Haley in disgust, disappearing into her room.

Nathan groaned in frustration as she slammed her door shut. He'd promised himself he'd be nice to her, but even being in the same room with her was getting so dangerous. She was such a child, he realized. When they were together she went out of her way to make herself older, but sometimes it made her seem younger still. Nathan wondered again if it made him anything like a pedophile, going after a girl so many years his junior. Quickly he shrugged off this disconcerting thought and headed out of the apartment.

"Luke?" he said into his cellphone, once he was out in the streets.

"Nathan? What the hell are you doing?" demanded his brother.

"I'm in LA, with Haley. We're both fine," said Nathan, aware that those nearest him could hear Lucas yell into the phone.

"She's just a kid Nate," said Lucas.

"Well then I guess it's a good thing I'm talking to you on the phone and not fucking her senseless. Calm down, I know. Have you seen Davis?" he asked.

"No. But she's definitely making herself seen," said Lucas cryptically before hanging up the phone.

Nathan's immediate reaction to this was to run upstairs and discuss it with Haley, before he remembered that Haley wasn't talking to him and had no intention of changing this fact. He sighed in frustration. _Teenagers…_

Haley scowled when Nathan pounded on her door again. Really, the guy just couldn't take a hint. She was sulking. She was being dramatic, and enjoying it. Actually, she was also trying to plan a way to get to the kitchen for food without breaking her sulk. It was quite the conundrum.

Her scowl deepened when the door fell inward to the room, and Nathan walked in holding a screwdriver.

"You took it off the hinges? My God, can't you take a hint?" she said angrily, standing up and preparing to stalk out of the room. He caught her arm before she could, and pulled her into him. She let out a cry of surprise.

"No. I have to go out. Movie premiere. We had a deal," he reminded her.

"I have nothing to wear," she said.

"Oh, well I bought you a dress when I was out. So I guess you can go," he said, walking out of the room.

Haley stalled for a second, trying to predict the next move. She knew he expected her to follow him, and she hated to follow his expectations, but she was curious. Her curiosity won.

Nathan was standing in his own bedroom. She admired it for a second: the bed was high, wide and luxurious, and a half open door led to an en-suite bathroom. She imagined sleeping on the bed. Sleeping with…

"Nathan, what are you going on about?" she asked, crossing her arms. He smiled and inclined his head toward the closet door. It was open, and a dress was hanging on it. An ivory, one shouldered, flowey dress that would reach her knees.

"Do you like?" he asked indulgently.

"No," she said reluctantly.

"Liar. Be materialistic. I'm sorry," he said.

"You're not. Being sorry involves being human. But thanks for the dress," she said, bringing cool lips to lightly peck his cheek.

"You're welcome. Be ready to go at eight. There's a person coming at six to help with your makeup. Remember to stick to the story," he instructed.

"Fine. Will I be in magazines?" she asked.

"Yes. Many," said Nathan.

"Is that all?" she asked.

"One more thing."

Haley gasped as Nathan grabbed her hand and pulled her into him again. For one wild moment she expected him to kiss her but instead his lips slid further, down her neck. He sucked there for a few moments before releasing her, never touching her lips.

"That's going to leave a mark," she said, touching it lightly with her fingertips.

"That's the whole point. Want it to look realistic. Don't let the cosmetic person cover it up," said Nathan, walking out of the room.

_"Pig,"_ said Haley resentfully to herself.

Haley was waiting for Nathan in her white dress, her hair and face done up like they never had been before. She felt beautiful and completely unlike her natural self.

"Hey," said Nathan, coming to join her in the hall. She didn't turn around, and stood completely still. "You still mad at me?"

"You could at least have the courtesy to make out with me," she said resentfully, still facing away from him.

"I thought you didn't want that," taunted Nathan.

"I don't. But the whole branding thing is kind of creepy," she protested.

"I think it's kind of sexy," said Nathan. He came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. He frowned when she still refused to look at him.

"You're a creep," said Haley.

"Fine some new insults, baby," said Nathan, lightly kissing her neck. He smirked when she broken away and glared at him over his shoulder. She was playing right into her hands, and she knew it, yet she was powerless to stop it.

They sailed past the reporters posted outside the apartment and climbed into opposite sides, sticking firmly apart from one another.

"Don't look so squeamish. I told you I'd help you out and I will," said Haley.

"Thanks," he grunted.

"Don't mumble. It's not attractive," she said, primly crossing her legs.

"Thanks," he said, clearly and distinctly.

Haley blinked a dozen times as soon as they stepped out of the limo. Quickly she found her hand intertwined with Nathan's. When he saw her quake in fear he reassuringly squeezed it, and suddenly she felt brave. She smiled up at him, in a shot that would be copied across the nation by the next morning.

The evening was filled with stills that everyone would see the next morning. Shots that Lucas and Brooke would see in bed together, that Jake would pore over to distract himself from his misery. They didn't know. They didn't know, would never truly know, how much impact they had over their world.

By the end of the evening, Haley had the act down. She could smile for the cameras, pose with Nathan as though she was in love with them, answer questions leaving out just enough detail to leave them intrigued. Though Nathan had danced the same dance for years with Davis, Haley fit into the equation as though she'd been born into it.

Nevertheless, she breathed a sigh of relief the moment they stepped back into the limo.

"I feel like I've been on stage," she said.

"You have been. And you played your part perfectly," he said.

"Thanks. Will I look like a whore tomorrow?" she asked nervously.

"Not remotely. I'll look like a bit of a bastard, but you'll be none worse off, unless your boy is angry," said Nathan.

"Please, the whole point is to get him angry," said Haley. His eyes widened when she slurred her words slightly. Was Haley drunk?

"Why?"

"He's never around anymore. He promised everything would get better and then he gave me the stupid ring and everything got worse. Bastard," she said resentfully.

"Why do you stay with him?" asked Nathan, hoping she was drunk, or tired enough to answer.

"I love him," she said, as if stating the obvious. "And we've kind of just gotten into the routine."

The alcohol truly began to affect Haley as they neared the apartment. He ran over to her side of the car to help her out and she fell against him, laughing miserably. After five minutes they'd managed to move five paces. Out of frustration he took her into his arms and carried her up the elevator and into her bedroom.

Haley smiled up at him when he laid her down on the bed and gently removed her shoes.

"You're such a nice guy sometimes. Like Jake," she said.

"You like Jake?"

"He's Peyton's. Don't worry, he's not the one that I'm falling for," said Haley. Her eyelids fluttered.

"Who is, Hales?" he asked. Her eyelids closed firmly. He sighed and backed out of the room.


	11. One Shot Seduction

Chapter Eleven: One Shot Seduction

As the sun slowly brightened the dark, depressing bedroom of Peyton Sawyer, she automatically slung her arm around the empty half of her bed. She slowly came to and sat up in disappointment. She'd been dreaming of him again, of their easy loving friendship, and what it never would be.

After changing and pulling a brush through her messy curls, she got into her car and drove across town.

She hesitated slightly before ringing Brooke's doorbell. Peyton entered Haley's house without knocking or hesitation, but she'd never been as close to Brooke. Especially this summer, with Haley suddenly gone and the world suddenly broken into pieces.

Peyton cautiously pushed open the door when no one entered.

"Brooke?" she called. Heavy footsteps startled her.

"Peyton. Hi," said Lucas, coming into the room. Peyton blushed when she saw he was wearing nothing but his boxers.

"Hey, Luke. Is Brooke here?"

"No. Are you okay?" he asked, remembering how he'd been initially drawn to her.

"Did she tell you about Davis and Jake?" asked Peyton, her voice shaking. He nodded slowly.

"She said you were really troubled by it. But she doesn't understand why so much," said Lucas.

"I don't even. First of all, how can Davis? Wouldn't Nathan mind?"

"No. But that's not really what Brooke was wondering about," said Lucas.

"Yeah. I don't get it either. It's been driving me nuts all week, even though I know it shouldn't. I don't love Jake. I really don't. It's not like I thought I didn't, but it's suddenly been awakened. He told me he loved me and I shot him down. I have no feelings for him yet it's killing me," she said.

"You never knew he had feelings for you?" asked Lucas.

Peyton, not trusting her voice, simply shook her head.

"You know, I don't think that's true. It think you did know. And I think you liked it. I think you thought that if he wasn't in love with you, he wouldn't be around like you needed him to be. And now comes the terrifying thought that he isn't…" he said.

"I'm not a brat. I don't need everyone to love me," she said.

"I know. You just need him, and suddenly he's gone."

Peyton cracked a smile at Lucas.

"You know, I'm glad you're dating Brooke. She needs someone as sane as you to analyze her craziness. It's so weird, the idea of Jake being madly in love with him. I mean, I was taller than him when we met," she said.

"I don't think it's so weird," said Lucas softly.

"Have you heard from Nathan?" asked Peyton, breaking the moment before it could begin.

"Just briefly. They went to a move premiere last night," he said, dropping a magazine in front of her.

Peyton stared down at the picture of her best friend on the arm of the man they both truly hated. Haley glowing with happiness, wearing a dress more expensive than any she'd ever worn. Haley with a very noticeable love bite on her neck.

"This is gross. Chris is going to freak when he sees it," said Peyton in disgust.

"Is he? I've barely seen the guy, and we've been here for almost two weeks now. What's their deal?" he asked.

"Haley thinks she's in love with him, she's sure he's in love with her, and equally sure that it gives him the right to treat her like crap. And every once in a while he pulls the romance card, like that stupid ring, and she jumps back into his waiting arms and everything's all good again," said Peyton bitterly.

"Is she happy?" he asked.

"You know, I have no idea. Because I'm pretty sure no one's seen a truly happy Haley. Ever," said Peyton. Lucas gestured toward the magazine again.

"I'm going to disagree with you there. Because that looks like a happy Haley to me," said Lucas. They both looked down.

"That doesn't make any sense either," she whispered.

"Love doesn't. And besides, have any of us seen a truly happy Peyton?" asked Lucas softly, looking deeply into her eyes.

"I don't know. What's happy? The vast majority of the time I've seen you you've been all intense and broody and underwear modelly," joked Peyton.

"Underwear modelly? I'm never going to live that down, am I?" he asked.

"Posing half naked for billboards? Like hell you are. But I guess our girl Brooke doesn't mind," said Peyton. She took a cautious step toward him.

"Not in the least," he said, looking down into her eyes.

"So Nathan's really an ass, isn't he," said Peyton, taking both his hands and pressing her bodies up against his.

"Uh huh," said Lucas, lowering his lips slightly to hers.

"You know, running off to LA and cheating on his girlfriend. You know what I'd do if I knew a guy like that?" asked Peyton. Lucas shook his head and she angrily slapped him across the face.

"I'd bitchslap him. You're dating my best friend you wanker," she said, leaving abruptly. Lucas watched her, his fear growing, one word going through his mind:

_"Shit…"_


	12. Bordering on Forever

Chapter Twelve: Bordering on Forever

_Author's note: This is four sides of the same story narrated first by Peyton, then Davis, then Brooke, then Lucas. So keep that in mind while you read it. And next chapter is naley, I PROMISE. _

Peyton ran from Brooke's house, her head spinning. Initially she'd only flirted to Lucas to see if he would flirt back, to see if he'd be loyal to her friend, but she'd be lying if she denied that it was nothing more. She knew she had feeling for Lucas, that he had feelings for her. She's always known it. Ever since the word go, ever since that very first day when they'd all met at the country club, looked into his eyes and known his heart.

He'd clicked with Brooke, too. Peyton didn't deny it. They fit somehow, in a bizarre fashion. And amazingly, they stuck to the plan. Everyone knew that Davis Ryan had brought her boyfriend's brother with her to Tree Hill for him to hook up with her cousin. It wasn't something she'd ever bothered to deny.

Davis. Everything came down to her. Everything in Peyton's life was wrong because of her. The supposed innocent party girl from LA, who threatened Peyton more than anyone she'd ever met. A human Barbie doll who made her worry she'd never get her life back the way she wanted it.

XxxxxxX

Davis Ryan smiled as she dove into the Country Club swimming pool and the cool water met her skin. It was the first time she's swum in it. Usually she was too busy tanning, or making out with Nathan. But she'd decided to swim, at least once. Otherwise it was a waste of a perfectly good Brazilian.

Of course, it was a waste now. What with Nathan off in LA with the infant virgin. Davis glanced at her image in the tabloid beside her. Haley looked glamorous and beautiful, besides being completely innocent. On her neck was a very noticeable love bite. What was the point? Nathan would never do it purely to make Davis crazy, because it didn't make Davis crazy.

It should have, Davis knew. Davis had a vague idea that the knowledge that your boyfriend of a year and a half had made out with another girl would make most girls at the very least upset. But these girls weren't Davis. They didn't have the world at their feet. They didn't have so very much to gain.

And most girls hadn't done the same things themselves. Davis shivered excitedly when she thought of Jake Jagielski. As a human he bored her, but as a lover he was exciting and deliciously forbidden. Or rather frowned upon. With a laugh, Davis recalled the expression in the fake blonde's eyes when she'd caught them fucking in his bedroom.

Davis remembered six years previously, when her eighteen year old self had gone with her friends to see "Cruel Intentions". They'd cried predictably, when the baby faced boy had died, leaving his blonde girlfriend heartbroken. Davis had cried about five minutes later, when the innocent blonde girlfriend ruined the life of the evil stepsister.

Finally, Davis' eyes drifted to Brooke and Lucas, speaking intimately on a deck chair. That was one part of the summer that had gone perfectly according to plan.

XxxxxxX

As Lucas stepped into her house, Brooke looked up in surprise. Something was off about him. Something mysterious that she couldn't remotely put her finger on.

"Hey baby," she said slowly. He turned his eyes to her. Somehow they had so much more depth, confusion, even fear. What did Lucas have to fear? Didn't he know yet?

Lucas had started off as a conquest. The idea of dating Lucas Scott, the child of a billionaire, a model and gorgeous to top it all off had always seemed very appealing to her. Especially when she'd met him and they'd immediately hit it off.

Brooke couldn't begin to describe what she felt for him. He'd been her lover before he'd been her boyfriend, if he could even be called that, but always she'd had the sneaking suspicion that she felt more for him than even she realized.

She felt relief when he came over and kissed her. She felt relief ever time he did. Deep inside of her, she didn't believe that he could love her, that any man could love at all. But Brooke knew or feared that voicing these doubts would make everything worse than before. Brooke had never had a man she'd wanted, and therefore had no idea how to keep the man she loved.

As a breeze fluttered through the house and rifled the calendar on the wall, she took a shaky breath. She'd started their "relationship" with the knowledge that it couldn't last. He lived in LA, she was planning to attend university on the other side of the country. He didn't love her enough to have a long distance relationship. It could never work.

XxxxxxX

Lucas smiled to himself as he automatically drove toward Brooke's home instead of his. It made him happy to have someone like her, but the idea that he had turned into the kind of person that would flirt with the blonde and go home to the brunette revolted him.

A nagging voice in his head reminded him of who he was becoming: Nathan. Or more specifically, Keith. Their father, the businessman in New York who financed their extravagant lifestyles on the condition that one day they'd come back and work for him. Lucas secretly hoped that Nathan would smarten up and work hard enough for the both of them.

Brooke looked surprised when he came through their door without knocking. Was it too early for that? Lucas no longer remembered the etiquette of dating. It had been a long time since he'd had anything more than what Davis and Nathan had.

Lucas walked over to her and swiftly kissed her, noting her desire of him. Not in the carnal way, like she'd once had. In a different way altogether. She didn't know that he knew what she felt for him. She thought he was as ignorant as all the other boys she'd dated. She didn't know how he was beginning to know her heart.

His mind flashed instantly to Peyton. Immediately he felt guilty. He wanted Peyton, in the rough, loveless way. Not enough. He didn't love anyone enough to make himself into the cheating bastard that his brother was. But Peyton was special, and heartbroken. It would be hard to resist, though resist he would.

For her. And her alone.


	13. Runaway

Chapter Thirteen: Runaway

Haley's hands shook as she tied the belt of her dressing gown before venturing out into the hall. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't think of what it was. The previous night she knew she'd gotten drunk and they'd come home together to discuss… Peyton and Jake? Haley couldn't remember, didn't want to remember, if she'd said anything to incriminate herself. But what could she say that could possibly incriminate?

Nathan was sitting at the kitchen counter, reading the sport's section of the newspaper. She shuffled her slipper clad feet to announce her presence.

"Haley. Good morning," he said stiffly.

"You're being weird. Are you okay?" she asked in concern. He glanced over his shoulder at her and smiled slightly.

"You know, Davis wouldn't have picked up on anything in a thousand years," said Nathan.

"I know. You're just lucky I'm not her," said Haley.

"Always," he replied, holding out his hand to her. She went swiftly toward him and took it in her own.

"You're in a good mood," she said.

"So I'm not being weird any more?"

"Well, you being nice is a little bit weird. What's the occasion?" she asked. He smiled.

"What, you're saying you don't remember?" he asked.

"What? You don't mean…" she gasped in shock and slight horror.

"No, we didn't. Sorry, I couldn't resist. And we couldn't be giving Chris Kellar damaged goods now, could we?" teased Nathan. Haley frowned as her boyfriend's name finally surfaced.

"No, we couldn't. What are we doing today?" she asked.

"Going home. Remember?" he asked.

"Right, back to face the music. Fun. Do I have to worry about Davis?" asked Haley nervously.

"No. She's not a road block, trust me. She gets it, she wants the press to think we've split again," said Nathan calmly.

"Great. But what kind of person…" Haley began.

"Babe, don't," he said, pressing her fingers to his lips and begging her to stop.

"You look pale. Let's go for a walk," she suggested. He looked at her dressing gown clad figure and smiled slightly.

"Give me five," she said, dropping his hand and running off again.

XxxxxxX

For the sake of the media that they seemed bound to run in to, Haley let Nathan take her hand once they'd left the apartment to wander through a small city park.

"I'm going to miss it here," said Haley decidedly.

"We could…" began Nathan.

"No, we can't. My life's still there, and apparently going down the drain without my influence," said Haley.

"Have you heard from…"

"No. He went somewhere with his band," she said quietly.

"Are you ever going to let me get a sentence out?" asked Nathan teasingly. She looked up at him and smiled.

Nathan watched in interest as Haley's eyes roamed toward a family with three children, playing soccer on the grass. He watched a smile flicker over her face as the mother jumped on the father's back to prevent him from reaching the ball, and cheered as her eldest son got it in the makeshift net.

"What're you thinking about?" he asked.

"It's nice," said Haley simply.

"I guess. You want kids someday?"

"Yeah, four," said Haley, her eyes still on the family.

"Four? That's kind of a lot."

"Not really. I grew up as one of seven. But in books there's always four, two boys and two girls, and it looked so nice," she said. He nodded.

"I see what you mean. You think about it a lot?" he asked.

"Yeah, for the future. I want a boy then a girl, then a boy then a girl, like in the Narnia books," she said. She looked up at Nathan, tearing her eyes away from the family on the lawn. "But Chris doesn't want kids."

"Haley, why the hell are you still with him?" said Nathan, asking the question that plagued him constantly.

"What?"

"You heard me. You don't trust him, believe in him, and you two don't even want the same things from life. And don't give me that love crap, because you sure as hell don't love him. If you did, you sure as hell wouldn't be doing this," said Nathan.

"Doing what?" asked Haley shakily.

"This!" said Nathan in exasperation, holding up the hand that was clasped in his. She tugged lightly to test his grip, but he didn't loosen his fingers.

"This isn't real, Nathan. It's just pretend," she said.

"You say that, and maybe it's true but either way you're trying to get him jealous. You shouldn't have to. If he loved you, if he really meant what he said, you wouldn't have to do it all," said Nathan. Haley rolled her eyes.

"I am _so sick_ of hearing that argument day in and day out. I am in love with Chris. Deal with it. Maybe it's not conventional, maybe it's not perfect, but it's there and it's how I feel and a million of your arguments isn't going to change that," said Haley. Suddenly he leaned down toward her. "What are you doing?"

"Making an argument," said Nathan. She jerked away and slapped him across the cheek with her free hand.

"While we're on the topic, what about Davis?" demanded Haley.

"What about her?" asked Nathan.

"Davis Ryan, your girlfriend. Don't you deserve her fidelity?" asked Haley.

"She slept with Jake," argued Nathan. Haley shook her head, suddenly looking more sad than angry. She tugged her hand out of his, and backed away.

"You _so_ don't get it, do you?" she said, turning to run down the long path back to the apartment.

"Haley!" he called after her, surprised. She didn't even break her stride.

XxxxxxX

"Haley?"

Nathan ran into his apartment and looked around wildly.

"Haley," he said in relief when he found her, in her bedroom.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I want.."

"Because if you're going to make a play for me, you may as well save your breath," she said. He frowned.

"Bit high on yourself?" Haley scowled and lifted he bag over her shoulder.

"I'm leaving," she said shortly. As she walked past him, his hand shot out and gripped her shoulder. She shook him off. "Don't. You're not worth it, Nathan. You're nothing."


	14. Wishful Thinking

Chapter Fourteen: Wishful Thinking

_A bell clanged as the door to Haley's place of occupation, a small café, opened. Chris Kellar stepped inside and looked around before locating Haley, wiping down the granite countertop._

_"Hey. Where've you been?" he asked, leaning down to lightly kiss her lips._

_"LA," she said, looking down as to not meet his eye._

_"Why?"  
"With Nathan. At his apartment," said Haley. She looked up to her boyfriend's confused expression._

_"Hanging out?" asked Chris. Haley deeply desired to hint to more, but any more would be an untruth._

_"Basically. Does that bother you?" she asked curiously. He shrugged his bony shoulders._

_"Not really. I trust you, Haley," he said. She frowned. If he wasn't jealous, the work of the last week had been for nothing._

_"You don't even care a little bit?" she asked desperately._

_"I was gone for a week and you don't suspect me of cheating," said Chris._

_"It's not the same. Chris, this isn't working any more," she said sadly._

_"What? You're breaking up with me?" he said in surprise._

_"Yes."_

_"Because of Nathan?"_

_"Yes. Because I love him," said Haley, finally admitting the truth as she disappeared into the kitchen._

XxxxxxX

Nathan groaned in irritation as he woke up from his dream. They were growing more and more frequent, and no longer revolved around hot, passionate sex. They revolved around something dangerously akin to love.

It wasn't the first time he'd woken up from Haley leaving Chris for him. Yet every time, he believed it to be true.

His frustration grew when he heard Brooke and Lucas talking in the next room. The sound of their sex didn't affect him as much. Very early on, it had begun happening very often. Their talk was more disturbing. Their intimate conversation, that was about so much more than sex. It was a disturbing reminder that they had everything he wanted and could never have.

As his wandering eyes fell on a framed photograph, he slowly stood and took it in his hands. It was a dark haired girl with hazel eyes, dimples and full, pouty lips. Lips that every man in LA desired. Davis Ryan's.

With a yell, Nathan threw the photograph at the wall, where it shattered. She was the reason. She was what had made him so detached, so unloveable, so unloved. He was bound to her, yet she took everything he wanted away.

Twenty minutes later, the same face showed up at his door. The same face attached to the perfect body.

"'sup, boyfriend?" she asked.

"I'm not your boyfriend," he muttered angrily.

"Um, okay."

"I'm not. This is nothing, Davis. Somehow I always thought it would be something. That you wouldn't always be a heartless bitch. God, you really had me fooled," he said.

"You're breaking up with me? Breaking up with this?" asked Davis, standing in front of him. He glanced at her.

"Yeah. This isn't really. You're not even real," he said.

"But I guess she is? The supposed innocent?" demanded Davis.

"Haley? Yeah, Haley's real. And her innocence isn't supposed, trust me," he said.

"After spending a week with you? Sure," scoffed Davis.

"She's not a slut. And shut up, you know you slept with Jake," he said.

"Yeah. And it was good," she said.

"I don't even care. I really don't. It's not worth it any more," he said.

"The only thing that was ever in it for you is still here," she said. His eyes swept down her body once again.

"You're kind of like a new toy. Really good, before the novelty wears off," said Nathan, walking past her and out into the hallway.

Once he was gone, Davis slammed his door shut and groaned in frustration. The idea that the most desirable man in LA no longer desired her was deeply disturbing. After a moment of silent obsessing, she cleared her head and shook away the last vestiges of pain and loss. She smiled brightly before leaning down to pick up a handbag, expecting it to be Haley's. Emptying the contents on the bed, she found it to be Brooke's.

Davis impatiently pushed her wallet and phone aside before her fingers brushed up against a foil packet, half filled with pills. Eyes gleaming wickedly, she came up with a plan.

Brooke was a threat. She'd been in the corner of the tabloid pictures for a few weeks now, and was beginning to catch enough attention to threaten Davis' rule.

But Davis, clever Davis, had come up with a way to one up her.

_Author's note: Sorry if you hate me right now. Things will get better, I promise. _


	15. A Brief Moment in Time

Chapter Fifteen: A Brief Moment in Time

_Author's note: Before you read this chapter, please read hte previous one more carefully to note that hte first part of it, where Haley dumped Chris, was clearly a dream. Sorry about the confusion. And Merry Christmas! And Happy Holidays! And please take note of the couples cited in the summary of this story. I mean it, I promise._

"Babe, can you see my handbag?" asked Brooke, watching Lucas as he painstakingly shaved in front of the bathroom mirror.

"No. Maybe you left it in Nathan's when we were in there," suggested Lucas.

"Yeah. Maybe. But I don't want to go now. Davis might be in there and they're either still fighting or having very quiet makeup sex," said Brooke. Lucas grinned.

"I'll go. You stay here," he instructed, opening the door that connected the two rooms to retrieve her purse. She'd left it on the ground but it was perched on the bed. Something he'd never notice in a million years, something that Brooke would have noticed instantly.

"Thanks Luke," she said. He watched in interest as she fished out her package of birth control pills and consumed one.

"No problem. Want to stay here tonight?" he asked. She smiled coyly at him.

"I wish I could. But my ex is coming to town and I promised him we'd have dinner. Are you jealous?" she asked excitedly. He took her hands and pulled her into him.

"Wildly," he said, kissing her. Brooke giggled.

"He's a nice guy. We dated when we were like fourteen and then he moved away," said Brooke.

"Nice. I'll hang with Nathan, watch him moon about Davis," said Lucas.

"Do you really think he will? They were never exactly close," said Brooke.

"Please, what else am I supposed to do?" he asked, kissing her as they fell backward onto the bed.

XxxxxxX

"Hey, do you want to meet my parents tomorrow? They're coming into town," explained Brooke nervously.

"Sure. I guess we're there now?" he said. She sat on his lap and put her arms around his neck.

"I hope so. I don't usually get… here," she said.

"Me neither. But I don't generally meet girls like you."

"There aren't many girls like me," she whispered, looking into his eyes.

Lucas fell back onto his bed after she left, feeling exhausted. It was a feeling he was feeling more and more often. Their meetings were getting so intense, so precious, so passionate in more ways than just the one. He couldn't get enough of her. Hell, he didn't want to get enough of her.

"_I guess it's what love'll do to you_," he thought reflectively to himself.

XxxxxxX

"Brooke?" said a voice in surprise. She spun around and came face to face with her first love, Marvin McFadden.

"Oh my God! Mouth! You look so great! How are you?" she asked, flinging her arms around him.

"I'm great. You look fantastic," he said honestly. She grinned. There were no guys like him. And no guys she'd ever feel the same way for. He'd been her first in almost everything.

"Thanks. How was NYU?" she asked. He'd graduated a year early and had recently completed his first year.

"Good. And you're dating Lucas Scott? Someone's coming up in the world," he said. She shrugged modestly.

"My cousin is dating… used to be dating I think, his brother," explained Brooke.

Mouth silently calculated.

"Davis and Nathan broke up?" he asked eventually.

"Yeah. Supposedly because he's fallen in love with Haley, who's still with Chris, who's out of town and still doesn't have a clue," said Brooke.

"You have to let them run their own lives, Brookie," he said gently.

"I know. I'm just so much better at it, you know?" she said. He laughed appreciatively.

"I missed you," he said suddenly. Brooke smiled.

"I've missed you too. You were part of my life for so long and you left so suddenly. And I always expected you to come back but you never did," she said.

"I always expected to. But things came up…"

"Like what?" she asked. When he frowned and looked downward, her concern grew.

"I have something to tell you," said Mouth, looking up to meet her eyes.

"What is it? God, are you alright? Did someone die? Are you coming out?" she asked nervously.

"Brooke, I'm not gay," he said slowly. She paled visibly.

"You're going to die," she stated in shock. He nodded slowly.

"So they tell me," he said.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she asked.

"I didn't want to. I still wish I didn't have to. The therapist my Dad made me go to thinks it's because I'm still in denial. Or that I'm somehow pissed because I'm going to die an eighteen year old virgin," said Mouth bitterly. Brooke instinctively put her arms around her old love, and cried softly onto his shoulder.

His arms slowly wound around her, and he briefly went back in time. Back to the only time he could remember being truly happy. The summer after eighth grade when he'd moved to Tree Hill and met Brooke Davis, the girl next door, who spent the entire summer with him by the pool in his backyard because her friends had all gone off to summer camp. How they'd become friends, and eventually even more. He'd always been surprised. She was beautiful, and he was just an average guy. But for a brief moment in time, she'd been his. Until his parents decided to move the family to New York, destroying the only chance at love he'd ever had.

"You're not," she said quietly, a moment later. Lost in memories, it took him a moment to remember what she was referring to.

"I'm not going to die?" he said in surprise.

"No. I guess you are. But that's not what I was referring to," she said. He frowned in surprise as her hand slipped down into his and she led him out of the bar.


	16. Slutty Brunettes

Chapter Sixteen: Slutty Brunettes

"Haley!" said Peyton in surprise, upon opening her front door. Haley dropped the bag she'd been holding and threw her arms around her best friend.

"I missed you," she said. Peyton comfortingly rubbed her back.

"I missed you too. Was it awful?" she asked.

"No. Not really. It was just a mistake. I heard about Davis and Jake. I'm sorry," she said, as Peyton led her into the house.

Upstairs, in Peyton's bedroom, Haley allowed her eyes to roam over the photographs stuck to the mirror. Many of her, Brooke and Peyton in their cheerleading uniforms, many of the three of them with Jake and Chris hanging out. Several of Peyton and Jake, of Haley and Chris. Haley smiled as her eyes fell on a picture cut out from a tabloid-her and Nathan at the movie premiere, their hands intertwined. Haley's hand instinctively went out to trace his image, cheaply reproduced.

"Chris still isn't back," said Peyton, joining her at the mirror.

"Oddly enough I find myself not caring," said Haley.

"It's about time."

"Speaking of which. Why are you so bothered by Davis? Does she threaten you that much?" asked Haley.

"No. Not exactly. I'm not in love with him," said Peyton.

"I know. But he's in love with you," said Haley gently.

"No he's not. He just thinks he is," said Peyton in disgust, her own eyes lingering over her best friend's image.

"What? Are you serious? Pey, Jake's been in love with you since the fifth grade and it's been painfully obvious to everyone. Don't you remember how he was when you fell for Chris in grade eight? And how he broke up with his girlfriend, the slutty brunette, after you broke up with that guy when we were sophomores?" asked Haley.

"I'm beginning to suspect that "slutty brunettes" are his type. Not artistic blondes," she said.

"Come on. No guy on Earth could prefer Davis to you," said Haley gently. Peyton glanced at Haley and Nathan, smiling at the camera.

"Or to you," she agreed.

XxxxxxX

After Haley had left to go to her own home and see her parents, Peyton found herself feeling restricted in her dark empty house, and went out.

Quickly she found herself at her most commonly frequented record store. She'd hoped to find Lucas inside, or Brooke, and was quite disappointed to find it empty except for an old guy in the corner making a desperate attempt to be young and hip.

Her mind was elsewhere as she began to flip through vintage records. Everywhere she saw Jake. Everything smelled of him, every voice was his. He haunted her. She missed him. She needed him.

She zoned out to the extent that she didn't notice when a hand began flicking through the records in the pile beside hers. A slim, elegant hand with perfectly painted dark red fingernails that she should have recognized in an instant.

"Space out much?" asked the owner of the hand eventually. Peyton's head snapped up and she frowned when she saw who it was.

"What do you want, Ryan?" she asked in disgust.

"Ryan? We're on last name basis now? Aren't you bad," teased Davis. Peyton rolled her eyes.

"Do you have a point, besides being here to torture me?" she asked.

"I was actually thinking about making peace. You're Brooke's best friend and it occurred to me that she's my only friend around here and it's probably a good idea to be friends with her friends," said Davis.

"Wow, how very big of you. Find someone who cares," said Peyton.

"Ouch, you cut me deep. I'm extending like an olive tree here, hello," said Davis.

"I'm pretty sure it's an olive branch. And people are supposed to be nice, at least when they're apologizing," said Peyton.

"In what, the "World According to Peyton"?" asked Davis.

"Whatever! The point is, either find something nice to say or find something else to do!" demanded Peyton. Davis rolled her eyes and almost smiled.

"You want to get out of here?" she asked. Peyton rolled her eyes yet again but left and allowed her new "friend" to follow her.

XxxxxxX

"So this is what you do all day?" asked Davis in unveiled interest as she wandered around Peyton's bedroom.

"When I'm drawing," said Peyton.

"Or brooding," suggested Davis.

"I guess. You're welcome to leave any time," she said sarcastically.

"I love Travis. And your room's really cool," said Davis, speaking first of the music coming through the stereo.

"Thanks. The five of us decorated last summer. It was fun," she said.

"I don't get why you refer to it as the "five" of you. I haven't spoken to Chris once since the day I got here," said Davis.

"He's away right now," said Peyton vaguely.

"Where?"

"Hell. Or at least, hopefully," she said bleakly. Davis laughed.

"Does he make Haley happy?" she asked.

"God no. But why would you care? Don't you hate Haley?" asked Peyton curiously.

"I nothing Haley. She didn't break up Nathan and I, because Nathan and I were never really together. She probably brought me down slightly in my world, but I've always enjoyed a challenge," said Davis reasonably. Peyton nodded, surprised at how warm the one time ice queen had become.

Ice Queen was a kind term. Frigid Bitch was much more accurate.

"So she took your boyfriend and lessened your all important status and you feel nothing at all for her?" pressed Peyton.

"I don't feel anything, for anyone, ever. My image to the world is fake, but so is everything. I live life like it's a game, and I'm completely cut off from it. I don't feel anything," she repeated. Peyton slowly walked to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

And Davis did feel something.

Warmth.


	17. Change of Heart?

Chapter Seventeen: Change of Heart?

Jake Jagielski felt his courage weaken as he drove across town to his best friend's house. Since he'd slept with "the enemy", they'd had almost no contact. They'd been forced to hang out with the usual group, but had none of their usual closeness. The closeness was what he'd been dying to gain back, even without romance. He'd lived without her love for seven years, he was getting damn good at it.

He let the doorbell ring through the house twice before cautiously pushing open the door and stepping into her dark, still house. He followed his feet up the stairs, not trusting his mind to know the way.

As the door swung open, Peyton's bed was revealed. Peyton was revealed. But not by herself. On the bed was a dark haired girl who's hand was loosely linked with Peyton's he immediately assumed to be Brooke, but remembering the point of his mission, he knew it was impossible. Cautiously he stepped forward and brushed the dark hair away from her face.

"_Davis_," he whispered to himself. He stepped back as Peyton slowly opened her eyes and saw him.

"Jake?" she said in surprise, not moving. His eyes swept over them again, lying on the bed, barely touching. Was this the reason..?

"Hey. Sorry, but you need to get up. Brooke didn't come back last night and Lucas is going crazy," said Jake. She nodded and sat up in bed.

"Okay. Where was she last night?" she asked. Jake's eyes, still on the figure in the bed, briefly flicked to her.

"What's she doing here? I thought you hated her," he said.

"She came over last night and we ended up falling asleep. I think she's trying to make peace. Either that or she has yet another clever scheme to ruin our lives. Where was she, Jake?" asked Peyton again.

"Right. She didn't really tell Luke. She just said she was going out with an ex. But that can't be bad. She hasn't had anyone who's meant anything to her in years," said Jake. Peyton looked up at him.

"Since Mouth," she said distractedly. Jake's eyes widened. "Oh, shit."

"Who's Mouth?" asked a sleepy voice to her right. Peyton felt the mattress underneath them shift as Davis moved to a sitting position.

"Brooke's first love. Her only love. Honestly these days, I don't even know anymore. She went out with him last night and hasn't come back. We have to find her," said Peyton.

"This must be killing Luke," said Davis sympathetically.

"Wow, human emotion," muttered Jake under his breath.

"Sorry, I forgot that you were so perfect, Mr. Knight-in-shining-armour," she shot back.

"Guys! Quit it. I'll call the hotels to try and track her down. Davis, you go to the hotel to calm down Lucas," ordered Peyton.

"Wait, she's part of this? Since when is she trustworthy? And what do you want me to do?" he asked.

"Since when are you so trustworthy, Jake? It wouldn't kill you to stop being so freaking high and mighty. And do whatever. Go screw a slutty brunette, it's not like it would be the first time," she said bitterly. He fell silent as she climbed out of bed. He couldn't stop himself from watching her camisole clad form as she walked to her desk to locate her phone. Davis quickly followed her and took her hand.

"Are you okay?" he heard her whisper. Peyton nodded. Jake couldn't see her face. He didn't need to, to know he'd been replaced. He saw Peyton's hand go up to her face, to wipe something he couldn't see.

"Jake, you stay here in case she calls," said Peyton eventually.

"Yeah. I'll go downstairs now," he said. Neither girl said anything as he backed out of the room.

Twenty minutes later, Davis in her Smart Car was headed toward Lucas and Nathan's hotel, and Peyton in her vintage convertible was driving toward the first of Brooke's most frequented locations.

It didn't take her long to locate Brooke's car. It was parked in the lot of her favourite bar. But the bar was closed, the lot almost empty. Peyton sighed, scribbled a note to tuck into the windshield wipers, and left again.

XxxxxX

Davis burst into Lucas' hotel room at the same moment that his cell phone began to ring. As the high pitched irritating ring tone began to fill the room, she ran to his side and took his hand.

"Answer it," she implored him, her eyes wide and honest. He looked down at her.

"Since when are you so alive with human emotion?" he asked. He took the phone into his hand and stared as his girlfriend's name flashed across the screen.

"Answer the phone, Lucas," she said again. His hand reluctantly flipped it open and he held it to his ear. Davis could faintly her cousin's calm, soothing voice through it. Lucas's hand tightened over hers as Brooke spoke to him.

"Why?" he said into the phone, his voice choked and irregular. Davis heard Lucas speak, wishing she could hear the entire conversation.

He hung up a moment later, and dropped the phone onto the bed.

"What is it?" she asked.

"She…" Lucas couldn't bring himself to continue talking.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry," she said, guessing the truth and flinging her arms around his neck.

"We were getting so close," he said, sounding disbelieving.

"Shh. She wasn't worth it," said Davis comfortingly.

"She really was. I loved her so much, and she…"

Davis wanted to continue comforting him, but found herself completely unable to think of the words to do so. So she comforted him in the only way she knew how.

Lucas responded almost instantly as Davis pressed her lips onto his. With their bodies already pressed together, it didn't take long for him to shed her off her shirt, took even less time for them to fall onto the bed in a frenzy of touches and kisses.

"Are you sure about this?" she said, as he pulled off his own shirt.

"It's not like it would be the first time," said Lucas, unhooking her bra in a practiced motion.

"Yeah," she agreed, leaning in to kiss him again.

As Lucas flipped them so that she was on top and began to pressure her shoulders downward, they met eyes. For a second he looked confused and lost, and then suddenly resolved.

"I can't do this," he said in surprise.

"Sure you can," she said, kissing him again. He kissed back for a few seconds before pulling away.

"I really can't. I love Brooke," he said. He grasped her shoulders again and pushed her off.

"And what, you just don't want me anymore?" she said in shock.

"No, I don't. I want her. And we can work past this. Get dressed," he said, rolling out of bed, leaving a disbelieving Davis behind him.


	18. Return to You

Chapter Eighteen: Return to You

_Author's note: This chapter is dedicated to Ange, because she wrote some of it. Thanks!_

This summer, as every summer, the five of them had begun to settle into a routine. One involving late nights, slow mornings, occasional swims at the famed Country Club.

Apparently, all it took was three strangers to throw everything they'd ever known out of whack.

Jake paced nervously in Peyton's bedroom, trying to avoid thinking of anything, trying to avoid thinking of her. He wished the phone could ring so he could feel useful, so he could win back some small amount of respect.

He knew immediately that the heavy footsteps running up the stairs weren't hers, but it didn't occur to him to be nervous, or even jealous. Particularly when a breathless Nathan Scott entered the room.

Jake regarded him warily, remembering inconveniently that Nathan was much bigger than him and had every right to kick his ass.

"What are you doing here?" asked Jake, staring at him in surprise.

"I was about to ask the same thing," said Haley in annoyance, coming into the room behind him. Both men stared at her for a second, one in surprise and one in desire. Her hair was braided hastily over her shoulders, and she was wearing jeans and a simple white tank top. Nathan had never seen her dressed so casually, and he'd never wanted her more.

"Actually," Nathan said, "I was looking for you."

His voice was low so that only she would hear. She could feel his hot breath against her neck and her nerves skittered in response.

"I thought you and I could make use of that bed over there but I guess Jake being here makes that slightly difficult. So what say you and I go somewhere a little more private, I can guarantee that I can make your toes curl, well among other things."

Haley did her best to act as if his words were not affecting her, drawing a deep breath she looked up at him smiling confidently.

"And how exactly do you intend to do that?" she asked.

"Well for starters I was thinking that there has been more than enough talking between us today, it's time we put our mouths to better use and don't be too sure that I only mean kissing." She gasped and turned her head trying not to let him see the red flush creeping up her neck, his hand coming to rest on her hip was all she needed to spur her into action and she quickly crossed the room coming to stand beside Jake steadfastly avoiding eye contact with the man who still stood smirking at her.

Jake awkwardly put an arm around her, unsure as to whether she wanted to spurn Nathan or encourage him.

"Do you have anything useful to say?" he asked as Nathan stood, staring obviously at Haley.

"Yeah. Blondie just called me at the hotel…" Haley abruptly cut him off.

"I'll give you a lap dance if you can tell me her name right now," she taunted.

"I'll never speak to you again if you can tell me my best friend's first name," shot back Nathan, looking pleased with himself. Seeing Haley about to open her mouth, Jake spoke.

"Nathan, what is it?"

"Right. She asked me to find out if Brooke was in Lucas' room. But he was in there, in bed with Davis," said Nathan.

"That's not true," said Haley immediately.

"Have you met Davis? Of course it's true. Do you have any idea where Brooke is?" asked Jake.

"Yeah. At a hotel downtown, it wasn't that hard to track her. She checked in last night with some guy and they're still there now. Haley, come with me and we'll go check it out," said Nathan.

"Like hell. Go alone," she said.

"You're showing remarkable compassion for your best friend here. I have a feeling some girl talk is going to be necessary," he said. She rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I'll go. Jake, call me if she calls," she said. Jake frowned as Haley hugged him quickly and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. Normally such a gesture would be commonplace, but today he knew she was only doing it to piss Nathan off.

Jake frowned again as Nathan put his hand on Haley's lower back to guide her out, and she didn't shake him off. Jake wasn't remotely in love with Haley, he never had been. But it awoke his brotherly instincts to see one of his best friends clearly flirting a man who wanted only to have sex with her.

Haley was silent as Nathan lead her outside and into the front seat of his car. She didn't say anything as he pulled out of the driveway and began to drive down the street.

"So, I've been thinking…" began Nathan, desperate to end the awkward silence.

"Nathan, what the hell are you still doing here?" she demanded, cutting him off.

"What?" he asked, sending her a wounded look.

"You only came here for Davis, and she's not your girlfriend anymore. For God's sake, she isn't even your freaking fuck buddy anymore. There's nothing keeping you here," she snapped.

"That's not true," he said reluctantly.

"For the last time, I'm not keeping you here. I'm not going to sleep with you," she said in annoyance. Nathan smiled to himself.

"Someone's high on themselves. I was talking about me and Davis," he said.

"Well…" Haley looked sideways and caught a glimpse of his smiling face. "Liar."

"Sorry, couldn't resist," he said, turning on the radio to drown out her protests.

Even Haley James couldn't help but smile.

Tension mounted as the two of them entered the hotel and rode in the elevator to the 6th floor. By this time Nathan's hand was no longer on her back, but he comfortingly put a hand on her shoulder.

When she didn't protest, he slowly moved his hand across to her neck, where he rubbed with his fingers in small circles, massaging away the tension. His hand tangled up in her long hair. She inhaled sharply at the emotions he arose in her.

"Haley…" he murmured, looking down at her. Losing all resolve, she followed his guiding hand and flung herself into his strong, comforting embrace.

"They have to work it out. He makes her so happy, and she hasn't been happy in so long," she said.

"They will. He really loves her," soothed Nathan.

"He'd better. She deserves it," said Haley. Leaning back to look into his eyes, she absorbed the comfort and honesty in them.

"No one deserves it more than you," he said, his voice husky and soft. His hand reached out to push down the shoulder of her sun dress, revealing the mark he'd left.

"It's not fading," she said.

"Maybe it's a sign?" he suggested. He leaned down toward her as she leaned up, intoxicated by his blue eyed stare.

A cough behind them startled them out of their reverie as the elevator stopped with an uncomfortable bump. Haley shook her head in frustration. She didn't understand the power he had over her, his ability to make her do things she wouldn't do in everyday life. Such as almost cheat on her boyfriend. Such as consider boys who made her feel violated at least 80 percent of the time.

She hurried down the hall ahead of him to avoid contact, knowing what his thoughts while with her in a hotel would be.

Nathan leaned against the wall opposite while Haley pounded heavily on Brooke's door.

"Haley?" said a voice in surprise, belonging to a guy didn't recognize. A short, skinny guy with spiky hair. Nathan noted immediately that Haley seemed to know him.

"Is she here?" demanded Haley, pushing past him into the room. Mouth moved to stop Nathan from entering, but moved aside when broad shouldered, 6"2 Nathan gave him a menacing glare.

As the two entered the room, a deathly quiet descended on the four of them while Haley and Nathan took in the situation at a glance.

"What the hell, Brooke…" said Haley under her breath. Brooke sat up in bed and looked immediately guilty.

"It's not what it looks like," she said immediately.

"Really? Do tell," implored Haley, rolling her eyes at my best friend.

"It's pity sex. It doesn't mean anything," said Mouth honestly.

"Actually," said Nathan, stepping into the ring. "It's more than that."

Everyone stared as he dramatically pulled a package of birth control pills out of his pocket and dropped them onto the bed, where they bounced gently.

"I've been talking to Luke. I found these in the bathroom of my room yesterday, so I don't know what the hell it is that you're taking," he said. With a shaking hand, Brooke pulled the identical package out of her hand.

XxxxxxX

"So, uh, we need to talk," said Haley to Nathan much later, as he drove her back to her house in his car. He looked sideways at her.

"Yeah," he agreed quietly.

"You want to come in?" she asked, as he pulled up to the house. He looked past her to a figure sitting on the porch steps.

"Suddenly not," he said, sounding annoyed. Haley followed his gaze.

Chris Kellar had returned.


	19. Nothing Can Compare

Chapter Nineteen: Nothing Can Compare

"Chris," said Haley, slowly approaching him.

"Haley," he said. He walked over to her and put his arms around her.

"Where the hell have you been?" she demanded, pulling away.

"I told you, with the band," said Chris in surprise.

"Chris, that was weeks ago. And the number you left me was out of order. Do you really think I'm just going to hang around waiting for you?" she asked in annoyance, trying to brush past him to get into the house. Nathan watched in irritation as Chris grabbed her upper arm and she stopped immediately.

"No. Of course not. I want you to come with me next time," he said.

"With your band?" she asked softly.

"Yeah. I've heard you sing. If you worked at it, you could really go places," he said. Haley smiled.

"If _I _worked on it?" she pressed. Chris, confident that he'd sweet-talked himself out of another breakup, took a step toward her.

"If _we _worked on it," he said, leaning down to cover her lips with his.

Nathan drove off in disgust. How was it possible that Haley James welcomed the kisses of gangly, unattractive Chris Kellar but wouldn't let Nathan Scott touch her? Nathan Scott, who had slept with any woman he'd ever wanted?

Haley took Chris' hand as they finished kissing and led him into the house. Her parents greeted him enthusiastically-they liked Chris, and guessed that he wouldn't knock her up and abandon her, or give her an STD. They were fairly sure it was because he wasn't getting any. At least, not from Haley.

Lydia James didn't protest as her daughter led her boyfriend up to her bedroom. After six kids, she knew it was useless.

"How messed up is it that my parents trust us in my bedroom alone together?" she asked, casually flipping over a copy of a tabloid containing incriminating photos of her and Nathan. Every time she wreaked havoc, she ended up regretting it.

But she never learned her lesson.

"I guess they know we're going to end up together, so it doesn't matter," he said smoothly.

"So where were you this afternoon?" he asked.

"At a hotel. Brooke cheated on her boyfriend. It's a long story. A lot's happened since you left," she said.

"Like what?" asked Chris, examining the photos that had been added to the ones pinned up on Haley's mirror.

"Jake slept with Davis Ryan, for one thing. Brooke fell in love with Lucas Scott," said Haley.

"What've you been doing?" he asked.

"Not much."

"So that wasn't Nathan Scott that drove you up?" prompted Chris.

"He's a jerk. Don't you trust me?" she asked.

"Shouldn't I? But I think it's time we made your Mom stop trusting us," he said, moving in to kiss her again. She turned her face away.

"I told you. I'm not ready," she said stubbornly. Trying to curb his frustration, he took her hand in his.

"Why not? I love you, Haley."

"I know. I love you too, but Chris…"

"No, you don't have to worry. It's nicer than the health teacher told us, I promise," he said. Haley cracked a smile, before a frown darkened her features.

"Wait. We've been together since grade eight. When have you…?" she demanded.

"Haley…" he said. She saw his mouth open to deliver smooth promises and lies. She yanked her hand out of his.

"Don't. I trusted you, Chris. I gave you all that I could give. And you...?" she asked.

"Are we really going to do this again? We both know how it's going to end," he said in annoyance.

"Yes, we're doing this. But you want to know something, Chris? You want to know the real reason I'm not going to fuck you tonight?" she asked. He took a step toward her, scowling darkly.

"Haley…"

"Shut up. It's because you don't turn me on. I used to think you were a really nice, sweet guy, but I always thought you were way too tall and you had stupid eyes and presumably a very small dick. And you know what else? You're aggressively _not_ the _only_ man I've _ever_ wanted to have sex with. In fact, you're not a man at all," she said bitterly. As she spoke her last sentence, Chris reached the end of his tether. She gasped as he pulled his hand back and back handed her hard across the cheek.

Her tears dried instantly. Haley James had put up with a lot in order to stay with Chris, but this wasn't something she was going to add to the list.

"You know Chris, I hate to be cliché, but…" she stopped speaking as she tugged the silver ring of her finger. "Sometimes you're just asking for it."

Haley threw the circlet at him with all her might

"Now get the hell out," she said. Not waiting for him to apologize, or do whatever it was he wanted to do, she ran out ahead of him.

Haley ran past her mother and out of the house, stopping at her mother's car and unlocking it with the spare key she possessed. Her fingers shook as she turned the key in ignition and back out of the driveway, and drove toward the only guy she knew who was strong and not heartbroken enough to take out her ex-boyfriend.

Nathan looked up at her in surprise when she walked into his hotel. He'd gotten into the habit of seeing her and looking away immediately, to avoid staring, but when she came in with a noticeable bruise on her cheek he couldn't help but let his eyes linger.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Haley's face was tear streaked. Nathan knew something was wrong when she accepted his embrace willingly.

"No," she mumbled into his chest, breathing in the scent of his aftershave mixed with his sweat.

"Chris did this," he stated eventually, when she didn't elaborate.

"Yeah. I need you to kick his ass," said Haley, looking up at him.

"Okay," said Nathan comfortingly.

"And if you want, you can tell him we had a lot of sex," continued Haley.

"Okay," agreed Nathan again.

"Okay," she said, echoing his words as she pulled a tank top out of her purse. "I just need to change if I can. I got this out of Lucas' room."

Haley locked eyes with Nathan while she pulled off the shirt she was wearing, leaving her in her bra in the middle of his hotel room. She was rewarding him, he knew. He desired greatly to keep his eyes off her, to let her know that he wanted more from her, but he couldn't quite manage. His eyes fell.

Chris was waiting on the front steps of Haley's house when they pulled up, his long legs stretched down several steps, his elbow's resting on his knees with his chin resting in his hands, obviously waiting for Haley. Obviously bored.

Nathan scowled at Chris' knowing smirk when Haley's car pulled up. The look changed to a frown when Nathan climbed out of the driver's seat and Haley came walking around from the other side of the car dressed in a skimpy tank top, her hickey clearly visible, showed proudly.

"Who the hell is this?" asked Chris.

"I'm Nathan Scott. And I'm about to kick your ass," said Nathan simply. The smirk reappeared on Chris' face. For an instant, Haley reflected on how much time both of them spent smirking. But the dark scowl on Nathan's face was more serious than any she'd ever seen.

"Are you?" asked Chris.

"Sure. Haley needs someone to do her dirty work," said Nathan.

"And why should that be you?" asked Chris. Nathan smiled, showing Chris all Chris needed to know. But Nathan, being Nathan, couldn't help but elaborate.

"Let's just say Haley and I have been doing many things dirty recently," he said. Chris surprised both of them by ramming his fist into Nathan's face, causing Nathan to take a step back. But it only took Nathan a few seconds to recover and beat the taller, younger man into a bleeding wreck.

After doing the first semi-decent thing she'd ever seen him do, Haley figured she deserved to be just a little bit nice. So they sent Chris home in a cab and entered her house.

Nathan looked around in interest. The walls were covered with childlike artwork and pictures of a small hoard of children doing various things. Nathan picked Haley out of a group playing basketball, having a water gun fight, swinging on a set of monkey bars. There was a long row of pictures of Haley and her sisters posing with their respective dates on prom night. Nathan smiled hugely at a picture of Haley, Brooke, and Peyton on Hallowe'en, dressed as the three Charlie's Angles, with Jake standing awkwardly on the edge of the picture, obviously having been coerced into doing so by Peyton. And a picture of the three of them dressed as witches, their faces heavily made up. He didn't hear Haley enter.

"We were Charlie's Angels this year, and the witches in grade nine when we had been studying _Macbeth._ This is my favourite," said Haley, indicating a picture of seven year old versions of Haley, Brooke and Peyton dressed as Wonder Woman, Catwoman and Supergirl, respectively. He picked it up from the mantelpiece.

"You guys really get into Hallowe'en," he commented.

"Yeah. We've been doing group things since Peyton moved here. That's the first one we did, when Peyton first came," said Haley, glancing down again at the three of them dressed as superheroes.

"Jake and Chris hadn't come into the picture yet?" asked Nathan.

"No. Jake comes in here," she said, pointing to a picture of the three girls dressed as the Powerpuff girls when they looked to be about ten with Jake, dressed as a Ghost. Nathan's eyes swept the row of photos again. Chris wasn't present in any of them.

"What's this one?" he asked, pointing to another, taken when the three of them were in high school.

"Mean Girls. I got to be Lindsay Lohan," said Haley proudly, pointing out her dyed red hair.

"Lucky you. One year I dressed up as Batman and Mom made Luke be Robin," said Nathan. Haley frowned at the image of Lucas Scott in the yellow tights.

"That's a nice story. I'm going to miss all this when we go away this year," said Haley wistfully.

"Something tells me it's going to be okay," he said. She smiled and handed him the ice pack she'd been holding since she walked in.

"Here. For your eye," she said.

"Sure you don't want it for yourself?" he asked, tilting her chin upward to examine the bruise on her cheek.

"That's okay. I'll survive," she said. He frowned.

"He's done this before, hasn't he?" asked Nathan, suddenly looking stern.

Haley shrugged, and avoided his eye, but once again didn't protest when he folded her into his arms and held her close.

_Author's note: So this was naley, since I feel like I've been neglecting them lately and next is baley (platonically, I promise) since I've been neglecting them even more. Thanks for reviewing!_


	20. Paranoia

Chapter Twenty: Paranoia

Haley relaxed and drifted into a daydream as Brooke strictly lectured her about Chris. Haley knew that Chris was a jerk, it was why she'd dumped him.

"You know if I was bigger and taller and not afraid of breaking something I'd totally go right now and kick his scrawny ass," said Brooke bitterly. Haley smiled as Brooke's brushed out all the tangles in her long blonde hair with efficient, practiced strokes.

"No need. Nathan did," said Haley.

"Seriously? Why?" asked Brooke curiously.

"Hush. I might still be mad at you," said Haley sternly. Brooke was positioned behind Haley on the bed so Haley couldn't see her best friend's face, but she could imagine it.

"It was just pity sex. I don't get why everyone's so mad," she said.

"Because you're supposed to be in love with Lucas. Your boyfriend, who by the way left for LA last night," said Haley. Brooke sighed.

"I am in love with Lucas. But don't I get to mourn my first love, just a little?" asked Brooke. Haley moved to turn around, but cried out in pain when Brooke jerked the brush suddenly.

"Yes. I guess not at the expense of your new one? I don't really know the rules, sweetie," said Haley.

"Me neither. It hasn't been like it is with Lucas. Not since Mouth," admitted Brooke.

"I know."

"You wouldn't believe how badly I don't want to talk about this. Let's discuss your love life," she said excitedly.

"About my boyfriend, who just hit me? Let's not," said Haley.

"No, I meant your actual love life. How's your Knight in Shining Armour?" asked Brooke.

"Being less of an asshole every day," admitted Haley. Brooke shrieked excitedly.

"Aww. You softie. You're so falling for him," she said.

"I don't know. It's too early, but… All men should look like that, you know?" said Haley.

"I prefer blondes, but I see your point. He is some kind of hot," said Brooke.

"He is every kind of hot," mumbled Haley, feeling vaguely that Brooke was years older than her.

Jake paused at the door and smiled.

"I didn't know I had such a strong affect on you, Hales," he said, walking into the room. Haley hadn't yet put on a shirt over her bra, and Brooke had stripped down to her underwear to try on some new outfits of Haley's, but neither bothered to take cover.

"Jakey. 'Sup?" asked Haley.

"I'd ask the same, but I'd actually prefer not to know. And I have something to discuss with you," he said. Brooke gasped theatrically.

"You're pregnant!" she said with fake enthusiasm.

"Uh, not quite. It's about Peyton," said Jake. Brooke placed the hair brush on the bed and turned her full attention to him.

"If this is about how in love with her you are, we've kind of already figured it out," said Haley.

"No, it's not that. It's about her, not me. My love for her doesn't affect her, honestly. It's just that Peyton…" Jake looked sideways at Haley.

"Spit it out," she said, impatient to get back to her girly bonding.

"She kind of had a sleepover with Davis," he said.

"My mortal enemy?" said Haley, at the same time that Brooke spoke.

"Sounds like some party you'd love to get in the middle of."

When Jake frowned, Brooke gasped in recognition.

"God! You don't mean she…"

"I don't know. Am I being crazy? I mean it's Peyton," said Jake.

"She's never shown any interest in you. Most girls have at least a mild interest in having sex with you," said Brooke thoughtfully.

"I always have," said Haley helpfully. Both looked at her in surprise but moved on quickly.

"Right. But she's known you forever, it could change things. It might mean she still sees you as a ten year old," said Brooke.

"Thanks," said Jake, interrupting her.

"Sure. She's never had many boyfriends, but she's always been kind of reclusive. And she liked Lucas in the beginning, right? And Chris?" asked Brooke.

"All of you fell for Chris. It was quite the low point in my career, losing all my girls to some musician," said Jake. Haley laughed appreciatively.

"I feel like a tabloid right now. I can't discuss this any more. Sorry Jake," said Broke apologetically.

"Don't worry. I get it. I just have to lecture Haley for a while and then I can leave you two to whatever it is you were doing," he said. Haley rolled her eyes.

"I've got it covered, trust me. Now go spend some quality time with Peyton. Or with Davis. I can't keep up with you these days," teased Brooke, smiling as he stood up and walked out.

"Wow," said Haley, after an uncomfortable minute of silence.

"Yeah. I mean I get it. My cousin is pretty fine," said Brooke, gaining a startled look from Haley. "Jake's probably just being paranoid."

"And threatened," she agreed.

"Like you always hoped Chris would be?" asked Brooke. Haley didn't say anything, but Brooke knew what her response would have been. More or less.


	21. Like Normal People

Chapter Twenty-One: Like Normal People

Since he'd done a good deed for her, and since he maybe wasn't an asshole anymore, Haley didn't protest when Nathan joined her at the Country Club and sat down in the lawn chair next to hers on the pool deck.

"Hey," she said, greeting him amicably.

"Hey," he said. She smiled in self-assurance when his eyes swept her bikini clad figure.

"What's up?" asked Haley, rearranging her sunglasses so they sat on her hairline and Nathan could see her brown eyes.

"I've been looking for you. I was thinking…" he said.

"About what?"

"Stop interrupting. Anyway, we had something of an unconventional start," he said.

"Are you referring to the weekend getaway to trick the press into believing that we're a couple, or the time you kicked my boyfriend's ass on my request?" asked Haley.

"Both. So I was thinking we could do something more conventional. Want to go out some time?" he asked. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. Somehow she'd expected him to chase her until she broke and started something herself.

"Sure," she said, the single word escaping her lips before she could stop it.

"Okay then. We'll go out on a date. You're sure you don't have like intimacy issues or something?" he asked.

"Uh, I don't know. I guess we'll find out," she said suggestively. Nathan smirked and ran his eyes over her again.

"Damn straight we will, Haley James," he said.

XxxxxxX

Since Peyton had exiled herself from the group and was basically AWOL, Haley was forced to go the slightly less desirable route in preparation for her date.

"Tell me again," begged Brooke, a half hour later.

"He just asked me out. It's not a big deal," she said again.

"It's a huge deal!" protested Brooke.

"It's not. How about we talk about an actual huge deal?" asked Haley.

"Like about how I might be pregnant by my ex-boyfriend? I'd really rather not," she said.

"Are you sure it isn't Lucas'?"

"I'm not even sure it's an it, but it would have to be Mouth's. I'm pretty sure whoever it was switched my birth control the day of the night I slept with Mouth, and Lucas and I hadn't done it since the night before," explained Brooke.

"Meaning the pill you took the day before should have protected you for twenty-four hours, until the time you took the fake pill?" asked Haley in slight confusion.

"Yeah," said Brooke, looking slightly condescending for a minute. Poor virginal Haley.

"But do you really have any doubt of who did it?" asked Haley, desiring desperately for a moment to tell Brooke what Nathan had seen in the hotel room between Davis and Lucas.

"I guess not. It fits. But why? Everything she's done, every manipulative bitchy thing, has been for a purpose. I'm her cousin. We're friends, sort of. Why would she bother?" asked Brooke. Haley shrugged.

"I'm kind of biased, seeing as I hate her," said Haley bitterly. Brooke held back a laugh.

"Yeah. Now, any opinions on your hair or can I just follow my instincts?" asked Brooke, as both of them turned to face the mirror.

"Follow your instincts," said Haley, taking a shaky breath as she caught sight of her pale self in the mirror, the bruise on her cheek as distinct as the hickey on her neck.

Brooke had gone home by the time Nathan showed up, two hours later. Haley had asked her to stay until they left, for moral support, but Brooke had denied the request that she be a third wheel. As much as Haley privately suspected that it was actually because Brooke didn't want to be in the room with her ex-boyfriend's brother (Were they exes? It wasn't official), Haley couldn't complain.

"Hey Haley," said Nathan when she answered the door. She smiled at him.

"Hey. You look nice," she said honestly.

"You look amazing. As always. Want to go?" he asked.

"Sure," she said softly. As she grabbed her purse and joined him on the porch, he put an arm around her and let his hand rest on her hip. Haley had the vague idea that she shouldn't allow this, but she wasn't one to protest.

Nathan opened her car door for her and handed her in. Haley smiled at how hard it was trying. Chris had never had to try hard. So he had never bothered.

"So, where do you want to go? I've made some reservations. I can get in anywhere," he said. Haley smiled at the tension in his face.

"Honestly, I don't want to go anywhere crowded. People look at me all sympathetically and I can't stand it any more. My tan's fading because I haven't been able to spend time at the Club without feeling like screaming," she said.

"What a tragedy. Uh, I have an idea," he said, signaling and abruptly making a U turn.

Haley paused in the doorway as Nathan led them into his hotel room.

"Are you planning to seduce me, Nathan Scott?" she said provocatively. He stole another glance at her. She was wearing a deep red, scooped next sweater and low, tight jeans. One her feet were high heeled boots, making her considerably closer to his height.

"Always," he said, walking back to the door. Haley smiled as he gently took her hand and tugged her into the room. "The way I see it we've got movies on demand, we've got room service. What more could we want?"

"Can you show me the rest?" she asked curiously. He nodded and led her out of the small hallway they were standing to, into the small living room, which contained a love seat, and a chair with a foot stool, both positioned in front of a flat screen TV. Sliding glass doors led to the bedroom, with the King sized bed and Jacuzzi.

"Nice. We're watching in here. Not there," she said firmly, indicating the living room. He smiled as he slid closed the doors to the bedroom.

"Fine. And since I'm such a gentleman, I'll take the chair," he said, sitting down in it. Haley reflected that it was a rather large chair.

"You may be a gentleman," she said, walking over to him. He raised his eyebrows as she sat down in between his legs and leaned against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. "But I'm no lady."

An hour later, after pizza and half the movie, Haley had grown bored. Still nestled in Nathan's arms, she reached over to the coffee table and picked up a framed photograph. It had been taken about a year previously, she realized. Nathan and Lucas stood on either side of two tall slim blonde girls, who looked almost like twins. Haley noted that they were both ridiculously thin, and on the verge of being beautiful. And that one had Nathan's eyes.

"Who are they?" asked Haley curiously.

"That one's my kid sister. Ryan. She's about your age, I think you'd like her," said Nathan, pointing to the elder of the blondes, the one with his blue eyes.

"She's pretty," said Haley, feeling a smile grow on her face at the infectious smile on the girl's face.

"She's trouble. She lives in New York with my parents," said Nathan. Through his smooth words, Haley could detect tenderness.

"What kind of trouble?"

"She's boy crazy. And she has lots of energy. When Luke and I used to babysit she'd always sweet talk us into letting her stay up late," said Nathan fondly.

"Like Brooke?" asked Haley.

"She makes Brooke look like a ninety year old woman," said Nathan.

"Ryan? That's Davis' last name."

"Fake last name," said Nathan.

"What's her real one? Brooke told me," said Haley.

"Davis is her actual last name. Her name's Shannon Davis," he said.

"She took your sister's name?"

"It was Ry's idea. She thought it was hilarious."

"I'd like to meet her," said Haley thoughtfully. "And who's the other?"

"That's my other sister, Leigh. She's fifteen. And you will. I'll have Mom ship her down here, and she can hang with us," he said.

"You're so whipped," teased Haley, leaping up as his fingers began to tickle her sides.

Sliding open the doors, she ran into the bedroom. He caught her quickly by the bed, and they fell onto it. She landed on top of him.

"Hey," she said softly, looking down into his deep blue eyes as he stopped tickling her. In a flash he'd flipped them so she was trapped underneath.

"This is better," he said, holding himself up, his hands by her shoulders. He leaned on one hand and used the other to brush hair off her face. In the last moment, just before he could have sealed their fate, Haley's fist closed around a foil package and she inhaled the scent of designer perfume.

"Nathan?" she whispered, as his lips hovered inches from hers.

"Hmm?"

"You're having sex with Davis, you fucking bastard." As she began to struggle beneath him, he rolled off of her.

"I can explain…"

"But you can't deny. God Nathan, every time I let you in, every time I think you've changed…" Haley ran her hands through her long blonde hair, trying to hide her disheveled appearance.

"It's going to happen. Isn't it? Haley?" he said. He frowned as Haley ran out of the room.

He wasn't subtle about his obsession. He didn't skulk in his car, park across the seat. Nathan lit up a cigarette, leaned against his car on the sidewalk in front of her house, and stared into her lit window. He scowled as his view was blocked by a considerably taller man in front of him.

"You're losing her. You're never going to keep her," said Chris menacingly.

"So sure about that?"

"Yeah, I am. She needs more than what you can offer her. She's slipping away and there isn't anything you can do about it," he said.

"Wouldn't you like to believe," muttered Nathan under his breath.

"Haley's never been chased. She's used to chasing. It's the game she plays, whether she knows it or not," said Chris. He almost smiled as Nathan's fist came forward and punched his face squarely.

"Yeah, because that will solve your problems," said Chris, still smiling as he walked away.


	22. The Way it Should Be

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Way it Should Be

"_Jake, it's me. Can you come over this afternoon? We need to talk."_

Jake Jagielski sighed as he pressed the replay button on his message machine, knowing he was being pathetic.

"_Jake, it's me. Can you come over this afternoon? We need to talk."_

Peyton's voice was so similar. How many messages had she left over the years? Too many to count. Her voice was so assured that he was waiting for her.

"_Jake, it's me. Can you come over this afternoon? We need to talk."_

Peyton hadn't spoken to him in weeks. What could she possibly want to talk about?

After ten minutes spent agonizing over what she precisely meant by "this afternoon", Jake got into his car at two thirty and drove to his best friend's house.

XxxxxxX

"What are you still doing here?" asked Davis in surprise. Peyton rolled over and groaned as Davis flicked on the lights in her bedroom.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she asked sleepily.

"It's like two. We have to go do something," she said.

"I told Jake I'd meet him here soon," protested Peyton, as Davis bounced onto the bed and sat cross-legged beside her.

"Perfect. I can get a good tan, and you can play hard to get for a while. Let's go, girlfriend," said Davis, taking Peyton's hand and yanking her into a sitting position before skipping off to her closet to locate a bikini.

XxxxxxX

Jake confidently let himself into Peyton's ever unlocked home. Over the years he'd made various pleas to her to lock the doors to avoid being raped, murdered or robbed, but she'd never listened and had never felt the affects of it.

He frowned in disappointment when he entered her room to find it completely empty. Her sheets were mussed, her closet door was hanging open, her web-cam was still on, but Peyton was nowhere to be seen.

Instinctively he turned off her web-cam and let his eyes wander around the darkened room. He remembered the room from years previously, before Anna Sawyer had died. Peyton had never been a girly girl, but when they had been kids, the room had been blue. Peyton had slept on a white single bed with yellow sheets.

Jake's mind flashed to a time in the sixth grade when the four of them had all slept over at Peyton's house. He and Peyton had been the last to fall asleep. Brooke had worked herself into an early night by obsessing over the antics of her very first boyfriend, Kyle Stewart.

His fingers automatically closed around the only picture Peyton had one her desk. Shaking away his guilt, he looked at it in surprise.

It was a work in progress. But unlike most of her drawing it didn't depict irony, or a twisted view of the world. It was merely wishful thinking.

The page featured three couples. The first one his eyes rested on was obviously Brooke and Lucas. Brooke was pregnant, and Lucas pushed a baby carriage. It was as far as possible from the actual Brooke, and her relationship with Lucas.

Haley and Nathan were kissing tenderly in the center. Chris was nowhere to be seen.

But it wasn't those that made Jake stare. It was the couple on the right. Him and Peyton Sawyer, the girl he'd loved since what felt like forever. Depicted by her as obviously a couple. Without the shadow of Davis, with no hint of their entirely platonic past.

"Jake," said a voice from behind him. He turned around slowly to face her, and let his eyes absorb her as he never let himself do. Her blonde curls, held messily back with an elastic, her tall, slim figure, the hint of cleavage exposed in her shirt.

"Sorry. It was on the desk," he said, not sounding remotely sorry.

"It's okay. I…" Peyton tried to explain, tried to reason, but found herself unable to. Why had she drawn it? It had come to her, and she had been unable to suppress the urge.

"Yeah," he said. Dropping the picture on the desk beside him, he walked toward her.

"I wanted to talk…" she began, her voice unsteady.

"There's a lot of memories in here. I was thinking about that while I was waiting for you," he said.

"Yeah. Davis and I went out. Sorry. Remember the time I dared Haley and Brooke to kiss?" asked Peyton.

"Good times. I miss them," he said.

"Me too," said Peyton.

"Would you have them back, if you could?" asked Jake, looking into her eyes.

"I don't know, Jake. I want to talk about us," she said.

"Really?" Jake paused and snaked a hand around the back of her neck, cradling her head and feeling her soft curls. "Because I don't want to talk at all."

He'd spent countless hours wondering how much a kiss could really accomplish. If touching lips could let her know how much he loved her, how much he'd always loved her.

Now he had no doubt.

Peyton responded eagerly and immediately. She ran her tongue along his lips, inviting him to open them, as her hands wound around his neck and slid into his short curly hair.

Jake had never experienced such a strong want for her. For years it had been his love for her tormenting him, not his desire. Suddenly he'd wanted her more than anything, and nothing was about to stop it.

He wrapped his free arm around his waist and they fell onto the bed. Their hands eagerly shed each other's clothing, unbuttoning buttons with ease. Jake felt Peyton say his name as he kissed her neck.

"Wait," she said a moment later. Reluctantly he broke away and looked at her.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry," she said, readjusting her clothes and getting off the bed, looking freaked out.

"It's… okay," he lied, watching her go in confusion. She stopped at the door.

"You're a good kisser," she said.

"Thanks. I've had a lot of practice," he joked. Peyton sent him an odd look and departed.

"_That came out wrong_," he muttered to himself before falling back on the bed and wondering if he'd made a mess of things again.

_Author's note: So it occurred to me that you guys must be getting impatient. About the naley thing. So it's not happening soon, exactly, but since I stated that it was going to happen in the summary, I can promise that it will happen eventually. And I've written ahead of where I've posted, so the updates will keep coming daily. More often, if I get lotsa reviews. So sorry about the wait._


	23. Perfectly Aligned

Chapter Twenty-Three: Perfectly Aligned

As she listened to her best friend obsess about her failed first date, Brooke couldn't help but let her mind wander.

She was disappointed that Haley and Nathan had made such a mess of what should have been a summer romance to make history, but Brooke couldn't help but think that she'd made a bigger mess of her own.

Lucas Scott. What had started out as a fling had become so much more, so quickly. After Mouth, she'd never had anyone she could trust, or depend on. And all it had taken to unravel was Mouth himself.

Brooke still couldn't let herself fully regret her actions. Mouth was her first love. He had a part of her Lucas could never have.

"Brooke, you're not even listening," complained Haley.

"Sorry," she said.

"You're thinking about Lucas again, aren't you?" asked Haley suspiciously.

"Yeah. I don't think he's ever coming back," said Brooke.

"If I was you I'd be obsessing a lot more about the potential child thing," said Haley. Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, Hales."

"Anytime. Of course Lucas is coming back. He loves you, remember? He's just… confused," said Haley inadequately.

"How long are you going to torture Nathan?"

"Forever. I keep thinking he's changed, and he never has. It's not going to happen," she said firmly.

"Shut up. It's a matter of time," said Brooke, looking incredibly pained. Haley frowned, realized that she was being self absorbed, and slipped an arm around her best friend's shoulders.

"You want to talk about you now?" she asked sympathetically. Brooke immediately burst into her tears and rested her head on Haley's shoulder.

"I never wanted to hurt him…" she began, once again sobbing out the sad tale of her and Lucas.

Brooke sighed once more as she slowly drove home in her car. She'd been relying on Haley's romance to make her vicariously fulfilled, but of course Nathan and Davis had to mess things up again. Brooke wished desperately that she didn't have to go home at the end of every day to the large, empty house with all the room for her thoughts.

Her heart stopped when she climbed out of her car and saw Lucas waiting for her, sitting on the front steps. Slowly she walked toward him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I missed you," he said simply. Brooke spoke quickly.

"I missed you too!" she said.

"So I guess we've covered the obvious. Now can we cover they "why"?" he asked, his face emotionless. Brooke sighed and lowered herself onto the porch steps beside him.

"There's no way you're going to like this, you know? Mouth was my first love. We met the summer before freshman year, when everyone was off at summer camp, so I was alone. He moved in across the street, and we started spending all our time together. We were perfect until school started. I became a cheerleader, and he became an AV geek. I still loved him but it was just too hard, so we broke up in November. He stuck around for a few months, but then suddenly he disappeared. He wrote me two weeks later to say he'd moved away with his parents. I wrote him back but he never replied," said Brooke.

"What about…"

"Shut up, I'm getting there. So I changed. I started hooking up with random guys. In grade ten I became Captain of the cheerleading squad, and convinced Haley and Peyton to join with me. We were invincible. I never even let myself think about him until he showed up a couple weeks ago," said Brooke.

She paused and looked sideways at him.

"I thought he was just coming to visit, but it turned out he has this blood disorder that's killing him. I went there, and discovered that part of me still loved him, but I didn't sleep with him because of that. He was just so sad, Luke. He had nothing in his life. He'd been empty for years, and I couldn't let him die like that," said Brooke. Lucas was silent for a long moment. Brooke held her breath. "And I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry I hurt you."

"You know I know I should walk away right now, and move on, but I can't," he said slowly. Brooke's eyes widened in surprise.

"Luke, what are you really doing here?" she asked.

"I came to get my girl, of course," he said. As she leaned in to kiss him, she couldn't help but think of what she hadn't yet told him.

"You mean..?"

"I committed an indiscretion myself. I'd call us even," he said. She smiled at him.

"I think I love you, Lucas Scott," she said in wonder. He moved his face close to hers, and locked eyes.

"I _know_ I love you, Brooke Davis," he said. Brooke raised her eyebrows, and scrunched her nose a second later. He smiled.

"That wasn't remotely corny," she joked.

"Way to ruin the moment," he said. She leaned in and they kissed again. "Mm, wait a second. I have one more serious announcement to get through."

"I'm scared now," she said.

"Don't be. Brooke. My life's in LA. It can't be here, as much as I want you in my life," he began.

"Okay…"

"I'm not breaking up with you. Rather the opposite, actually. Will you come with me? I mean, move in with me?" he asked.

"To LA? With you?"

"Yeah. I have a place there. You'd fit, it's big. We can party every night. Or not. Whatever you want. And Haley will be visiting on the breaks, so you'll see her a lot," said Lucas.

"Why? Nathan and Haley aren't together. Nathan slept with Davis again and she freaked."

"Idiot. Whatever, she can visit us. Will you come?" he asked.

"Of course." Brooke's eyes were shining. Everything was coming together perfectly. Everything, except…

"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling away.

"Someone messed with my birth control the day I slept with Mouth," she blurted out.

Lucas stared. For the longest, most interminable minute in her life, the man Brooke loved just stared, his face once again free of emotion. Free of hurt, pain, regret. As tears once again began to leak from her eyes, he didn't say a word.

"Say something," she begged.

"I can't blame you. We can work it out," he said eventually.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"No one ever said it was going to be easy."

Brooke stared into space, wondering if it would be even possible. Was Lucas merely suspecting that they'd break up before she was big, before it would matter? Even if he did love her, how could they possibly work past such a huge thing as a baby? For a moment, Brooke desperately wished the child out of existence.

"It was Davis, wasn't it," said Lucas.

"I don't know. I don't care that much. Even if it was her, I can't do anything about it. She's my cousin," said Brooke sadly.

"I guess she went back to LA?" said Lucas.

"No. She stayed around and ruined whatever Nathan and Haley had going for them," she said.

"Davis has a thing with bringing people down. I'd say she was a good person, deep down, but I really don't believe that she is," said Lucas.

"Peyton thinks so."

"What?" asked Lucas in surprise. In his misery, his mind had never so much as strayed to the blonde he'd once thought he had such a connection to.

"Peyton and Davis. They're together like all the time now. Haley and I haven't even talked to Peyton in like week," said Brooke.

"Good old Davis. Can't stop till she's brought everyone down," said Lucas.

"Do you think that's all it is?"

"Davis doesn't really go for friends. Or girls, last time I checked," said Lucas.

"Check again," said Brooke softly, nestling into her lover's arms and remembering the image that Jake had conjured for Nathan and Haley.


	24. Against All Odds

Chapter Twenty-Four: Against All Odds

_Author's note: Sorry this is so short. I've been trying to make them longer, but it kind of failed here. Next one's Naley, if it helps at all. And then Brucas! _

It had been a while, as Davis Ryan decided, since Peyton Sawyer had done something sufficiently wild. It was this that landed them at the tattoo parlor on a Thursday evening when nothing else was going on in Tree Hill.

"Dav, I'm not getting a tattoo," protested Peyton.

"Hey. Don't call me that. And yes, you are," said Davis.

"No, I'm not! It's way too… O.C," said Peyton.

"No, it's not. Because after Alex left we never saw Marissa's tattoo again and I have a crazy feeling that the same thing won't happen to yours," said Davis. Peyton raised her eyebrows.

"Is there something you haven't told me?" she asked.

"Yes, fine. I'm a closet OC fan. Except for this season. What's with Kirsten's hair? She was so much better in the first season. And last year's Chrismukkah one was so lame. And what's with that Johnny guy? He was ugly. He should have turned out to be Oliver in disguise or something," complained Davis.

"Chrismukkah?"

"God, do you live on Mars? Whatever, where are you getting it?" asked Davis eagerly.

"Wait a sec," said Peyton impatiently as her phone rang. "Brooke?"

Davis studied the samples on the walls as Peyton spoke to Brooke, subtly eavesdropping. It made no sense to her. Hadn't she dropped enough bombs to permanently, or at least for a while, make Brooke unhappy?

"What was that?" she asked, as Peyton hung up.

"She's maybe pregnant. And moving in with Lucas, in LA," said Peyton in shock.

"Pregnant?"

"Apparently," said Peyton, catching the attention of the tattoo artist waiting for them. "I'm going to get this cross on the back of my neck."

Davis grinned.

"Aww, that's my girl," she said, as Peyton and the artist disappeared into the other room.

"You know it," she called out, before letting out a gasp of surprise.

After a drawn out admiration of the gothic cross newly on Peyton's neck, the two girls headed back to Peyton's house, their most popular hangout.

Peyton hurriedly made her bed while Davis wandered over to Peyton's computer and posed in front of her web-cam.

"Does anybody actually watch this?" asked Davis curiously.

"Only web-cam pervs, I think. Have you talked to Nathan lately?"

"Yeah. We made out in his room the other night, almost had sex before he bailed. It was weird. Why do you ask?" asked Davis.

"Haley must be heartbroken," said Peyton softly, her mind flashing back to her previous life.

"I guess so. What about Jake?" asked Davis.

"What about him?"

"I'm intuitive, and I know you're not telling me something. What is it?" she asked.

"We kind of made out," admitted Peyton.

"Shit. Was it good?"

"Yes. It was very, very good. He really loves me, doesn't he?" said Peyton.

"Of course. Why else would he have slept with me?"

"Beats me," said Peyton, ducking as Davis threw a pillow at her head.

Peyton grabbed the other pillow from the bed and proceeded to beat her friend repeatedly with it. Davis squealed as it burst open and feathers began to fly around the room.

"Stop that!" she protested, her voice shrill. She grabbed Peyton's wrist and pulled her onto the bed with her. They collapsed, laughing.

Davis took a deep breath as she brushed feathers off her face and turned onto her side to face Peyton.

"There's one more thing," she said slowly. Peyton propped herself up unto her elbows and looked over her shoulder at her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nathan kicked me out, and the hotel's booked solid. And I have no place to go," she said.

"That's not true," said Peyton eventually. Davis raised a perfect dark eyebrow.

"Oh? Then where can I go?" she asked.

"Here. As long as you want. I guess Lucas rubbed off on me," said Peyton, shrugging.

"Do you we have to hug now?" asked Davis, wrinkling her nose.

"Nope. You can sleep in my Dad's room, let's go change the sheets," she suggested. Davis watched her go in surprise. Or was it more?


	25. Let Me Get Lost

Chapter Twenty-Five: Let Me Get Lost

Haley stared at the flowing river beside her. She didn't spend much time at it. She was a Hill Kid, not a River Rat. River Rat's spent all their time on the River Court, doing God knows what. Haley had been sufficiently worked on by Brooke to never speak to any of them. Not like she had any desire to.

But the river was her friend. Watching it, staring at the sunshine it reflected, made her feel at peace when her heart was in turmoil.

As her eyes settled on a boy on the court shooting hoops, she reflected that she hadn't really made any new friends in years. For so long her friends had been so concrete, so safe. Now Peyton had stopped returning calls, Brooke was blissfully back with Lucas and taking advantage of every minute. Something had obviously happened with Peyton that Jake refuse to talk about. Chris could be anywhere, and for the first time since she'd met him she didn't care.

"Earth to Haley," came a voice from above her. Haley squinted against the sunlight to see Nathan looking down at her, a genuine smile on his face.

"What do you want?" she asked in annoyance.

"I was actually looking for a place to play, but first I have to have my snack. Because of course I couldn't just play basketball without my Cracker Jacks," he joked.

"Do you want to know how much I hope your prize is a gag?" she asked, her voice artificially sweet.

"I didn't sleep with her," he said.

"Yeah, because that's what Davis is famous for. Not sleeping with people. Nathan, you're so full of…" Nathan raised his eyebrows. Underneath her occasional schemes, she really was an innocent.

"Here. It's for you," he said. Haley looked down. Upon opening his Cracker Jacks, he'd found a pink plastic bracelet to be the prize. He held it out for you.

"No, Nathan. It's not that easy. I don't want your bracelet," she said.

"Can't we work on this? I asked you out after I realized I wanted things to be really over with Davis," he pleaded.

"No! I don't need another guy in my life I don't trust!" she said.

"You can trust me," he promised. For a moment, he watched her waver.

"NATHAN!" called a voice. Haley looked up and Nathan stood when they heard a female voice call out to him. He laughed when a blonde girl burst out of the trees and flung herself at him.

"Hey buddy," he said happily. He lifted her easily into the air, an arm anchored around her waist. "God, do you eat? You weight like eight pounds."

"Do not. It's not my fault you're so buff," she teased. Haley frowned and stood up.

"Nice, Nathan," she said quietly, beginning to walk off. With a shock, he realized how she interpreted the situation, and he hurriedly dropped the blonde girl.

"Now I know there's no way you're going to believe this, but it actually isn't what it looks like," said Nathan.

"What, she's your long lost daughter? Or your very best friend? Or..." Haley trailed off as she caught a good look at the girl's pretty face. "Or your sister. Ryan, right? Sorry about that."

"No problem. You're Nathan's new girlfriend?" asked Ryan. Haley held out her hand, but Ryan instead hugged her as she'd done Nathan. Haley smiled slightly and hugged her back.

"No. Really, really not. No," said Haley. Ryan looked sideways and caught Nathan staring at Haley. She raised an eyebrow.

"Gotcha. Is Davis around? Or Luke?" asked Ryan, sensing awkward terrain.

"Davis has been AWOL for a while now," said Nathan. He caught sight of Haley's hurt face. "Not that I care, or anything. And Luke is here inviting his girlfriend to live with him in LA."

"His girlfriend? That seriously?" his little sister said in surprise.

"My best friend, Brooke Davis," said Haley helpfully.

"Lucas is in love with a high school girl?" asked Ryan in surprise.

"Yeah. And so's Nathan," said Haley cattily, before walking away.

Ryan screened her eyes against the sun with her hand and watched Haley walk away.

"So, are you?" she asked eventually, looking up at Nathan.

"Of course. And she knows it, and she's going to spend the rest of her life abusing it," he said bitterly.

"Is she a bitch? Because you really need to get out of that," said Ryan, tucking a long blonde strand behind her ear.

"No, she's not. I've just done a thing or two to make her hate me," admitted Nathan.

"Like what?" asked Ryan eagerly.

"Kid, you got all night?" he asked his sister, slinging an arm around her shoulders and leading her to his car.

Haley considered her options as she got into her mother's car. Her own home, with her parent's lectures about the hickey on her neck, the bruise on her cheek and her life plan, was not a positive option. Peyton was never anywhere to be found. Haley decided to go to Brooke's.

"A third Scott? That should be interesting," said Brooke, when Haley had told her the news.

"Oh, you met Leigh?" asked Lucas, coming into the room. Brooke blushed slightly.

"There's a fourth? Who knew?" she said. "What's this Ryan like?"

"Cute. Pretty, actually. She's tall and really thin and kind of bouncy. She thought I was Nathan's girlfriend," said Haley.

"Well, weren't you in a tirade of how jealous you are of Davis? The facts line up," said Brooke innocently.

"Shut up, I'm not jealous. I just can't be with a guy who would disrespect me like that. Why is that so hard to believe?"

XxxxxX

"So, what's new back home?" asked Nathan, after getting his little sister a hotel room.

"Not much. Leigh dyed her hair. She's goth now," laughed Ryan, bouncing onto her bed.

"Really. What does Mom say about this?"

"Nothing good. I like the mattress. This is a nice hotel," said Ryan, standing up and proceeding to bounce up and down, her blonde hair flying.

"If you fall down and break your neck I'm leaving," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Aww. How sweet. What are you doing here, anyway? This place is tiny," she said, glancing out the window.

Nathan raised his eyebrows at her.

"Right, the girl. Damn, you're so whipped," she said. Nathan instantly flashed back to his "date" with Haley. She'd said the same thing. Nathan recoiled when he realized that his sister, who he saw as such as child, was only a year younger than the woman be loved.

"Davis and I originally to visit Brooke, and we ended up staying. It's a surprisingly dramatic place, kid," he said.

"So you've told me," said Ryan, looking skeptical. She bounced on the bed a few more times before stopping and standing shakily.

"Oh, you'd be surprised."

"Yeah, yeah. So, big brother, how're you going to get her back?" asked Ryan.

"What do you mean, back? It's impossible to get something back that was never yours," said Nathan. Ryan took one more bounce, tucked her legs into her chest in mid air and landed neatly on the bed beside him.

"That's this spirit," she said encouragingly. Nathan rolled his eyes and grabbed his car keys from where he'd left them on the dresser. He knew as well as she did that he had other places to be.

Haley walked slowly up the steps to her bedroom. She had begun to look forward to the time of day, whatever time of day it happened to be, that she could disappear into her bedroom and be by herself.

But today, karma was working against her.

"Shit Nathan, you nearly gave me a heart attack," she said, reacting in surprise to his presence in her bedroom.

"Sorry. But we need to talk. I would have before, but Ryan showed up and I needed to get her settled," said Nathan.

"She seems like a good kid," said Haley. Nathan moved toward her and took both her hands in his.

"She is. Give me a chance, Haley. It would work. It would be great, you know that," he said in exasperation.

"I can't. I need space, Nathan. Don't call me, don't stalk me. Just leave me alone," she said, breaking away from him and moving for the door.

"For how long?" he asked impatiently.

"I'll let you know. Not forever. Do you really think I'm that deeply in denial?" she asked, smiling softly at him over her shoulder before leaving.

Nathan shook his head in amazement. Right then, he was sure he could pay everything he had to anyone who could say in honesty that all women weren't crazy.


	26. Everything Will Change

Chapter Twenty-Six: Everything Will Change

An alarm sounded through Brooke's Davis, waking her reluctantly from a deep sleep. She frowned. Brooke had stopped anticipating her days in the mornings.

"Babe, wake up. You have an appointment," said a voice. She smiled slowly. Her memory was always a bit worse for wear in the morning.

"Shh. It's bedtime," she muttered.

"Wake up. I made you breakfast. Eggs sound good?" he asked, putting a tray on her bedside table before dropping onto the bed beside her. Brooke looked between him and the tray for a moment.

"I know what I want for breakfast…" she said seductively, pulling him into her by the necklace he wore.

"Later. When we get back, I promise," he said, pulling away.

"Wow. We're scheduling sex. We must be growing up," she said, reluctantly grabbing a piece of toast from the table and taking a bite of it.

XxxxxxX

"Nervous?" asked Lucas an hour later, as they drove to the Doctor's in his car. She shrugged.

"Not really. They're doing an ultrasound though, that should be cool," she said.

"Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. Hey, it's been a couple weeks since I got back. Do you want to stay here until the end of the summer, or..?"

"You're bored. I'm sorry. It's just that Haley needs me right now. I'll let you know, okay?" she asked. She knew that Tree Hill was beginning to bore him. She was worried it would make him leave.

"Whatever you want," he promised.

"You know you're the best, Lucas?" she asked. He smiled sideways at her, filling suddenly with an overwhelming sense of peace.

Brooke held her boyfriend's hand tightly as they walked into the clinic. In some ways, she knew she had no reason to fear. Lucas had promised to help them, financially and otherwise. Her grandmother had left her a trust fund when she'd died, and Brooke had more than enough money for herself and the baby.

But it didn't stop it from being terrifying.

"Hey. This is Brooke Davis, here for an ultrasound," said Lucas to the nurse at the desk, noticing that she was zoning out again.

He led Brooke to a row of hard plastic chairs. He considered breaking her out of her daydream, but he knew that there was nothing he could say that could honestly convince her that the idea of a child was not terrifying.

"Do you think I should go to college some day? Haley's going to college," said Brooke.

"Do you want to?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Well I planned on moving to LA and spending my gap year partying, but it looks like that's not going to happen. Haley and I have always done things together, you know?" she said, sounding sad.

"Where's Haley going?" he asked sympathetically.

"Brown. And I know I could never get in there, and I guess it's not that far, but I'm going to miss her," said Brooke.

"You'll see her all the time. All you have to hope for is that Nathan and Haley seal the deal before September, and then you're guaranteed that she'll come to LA to visit him," he said.

"I don't have much hope for them anymore," she said.

"I do. People who're meant to be together always find their way in the end," he said encouragingly, as the nurse called for them.

Their doctor, a middle aged woman with graying brown hair, looked surprised to be in a room with a Scott, the blonde one who was involved in slightly less scandals than the dark haired one and Brooke Davis, the image of everything perfect in Tree Hill.

"Miss Davis. Mr. Scott, is it? Rumour had it that you'd flown back to LA," she said in surprise.

"Found a reason to fly back," he said awkwardly. Though they hadn't decided what to tell the world in the long run, they had decided that Lucas should pose as the father for now.

"Ah, I see. You're the baby's father. Miss Davis, if you could lie down we could get started…" she said, gesturing toward a chair.

The Doctor warned them what would happen ten minutes before it would actually happen, but even still neither were entirely prepared for it. It hadn't truly sunk in with either of them that Brooke was growing a child inside of them, a child that would become theirs.

"And that's your baby," said the doctor unnecessarily. It had taken Brooke a moment to find it. The being on the screen looked more like a peanut than a human child. But it would grow. She knew it would.

For a moment Lucas forgot that the child wasn't his. For a moment, all that mattered was that the woman he loved looked happier than he'd ever seen her. She clutched his hand tightly, and he felt an overwhelming sense of pride and love.

He knew it would come back to him. That if the child came out looking like it's natural father, he'd feel hurt. That someday, seeing the baby be connected to its mother in a way that it could never connect to him would be painful. But above all he knew that the baby would be more important than all of these things, and that the baby would make them happy.

"So… Haley said your sister's around somewhere. Want to go to the hotel and visit?" asked Brooke later, when they were in the car. This time it was him sitting in silence, her trying to make conversation.

"Not really. She's not going anywhere," he said.

"I guess not. I guess we could go home and do some more scheduling," she said suggestively, desperate to get him talking to her.

"Sure," he said listlessly.

"Or swimming at the Club?"

"Fine."

"Are you mad at me?" she asked.

"No. I'm not. But that was incredible. I mean, I've taken condoms with me everywhere since I was fifteen to avoid that happening, and now that it's happened to you I can't help but wonder why. That's life, Brooke. It was… beautiful," he said. Brooke raised her eyebrows. Her LA born playboy rarely opened up to her, rarely used to many words at once.

"You know, six weeks ago all that mattered to me was having a good summer and spending time with my friends before they all leave. Now I've got this baby, and I've got you. It's all pretty great," she said. He looked sideways at her and smiled. Who knew, that what had started out so simple could become so deep?

They held hands as they walked into her house, fully expecting to finish what they'd started in the morning with tenderness renewed. Brooke stopped by the answering machine and pressed the play button as Lucas dropped an arm around her waist and kissed her.

"_Brooke? This is Sheila McFadden, Mouth's mom. He passed away this morning, and…" _Brooke pulled away from her boyfriend. Only ten minutes ago, in their post sonogram bubble of happiness, it was easy to imagine that everything would be okay.

Now it seemed feasible that nothing would be okay, ever again.


	27. Take A Look at Me Now

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Take a Look at Me Now

Brooke took a deep breath as she took in her appearance in the mirror. Usually, accessorizing was among her strongest points, but that day she couldn't remember how she ever did it.

Her face was unusually pale. The black she was wearing detracted from her usually bright appearance and looked out of place in the summer day.

Deciding that the mirror was not a positive option, she looked down at the mess of cue cards on her desk. She'd promised Mouth's parents that as his oldest, bestest friend she'd write him a speech, but it was impossible to pour Mouth into a speech.

Thinking of it made Brooke tear up again.

"You ready to go?" asked Lucas, coming into the room behind her. She looked over her shoulder at him-he was wearing a single breasted black suit and a silk tie. He looked incredible.

"Yeah," she said, gathering up her notes and stuffing them into her handbag.

XxxxxxX

Nathan, Ryan, Brooke and Lucas met Jake, Peyton, Davis and Haley in front of the church. Lucas looked at them warily, feeling entirely left out, feeling entirely unable to voice his thoughts.

"How're you doing?" asked Jake eventually, moving toward Brooke and squeezing her hand.

"I'm okay," she said, smiling slightly.

"He was a nice guy," said Haley inadequately. Brooke examined how they were standing; with Haley in between Jake and Peyton. She sighed.

"Let's get this over with," she said, taking Lucas' hand again and leading them up to the church.

Brooke had imagined that somehow, by some miracle, that by the time the funeral was underway and she'd reached the front to deliver her speech, she'd have some vague inkling of what to say. She had imagined incorrectly, as it happened.

"Hi. Uh, hello. I'm Brooke Davis, and…" Brooke looked down at the crowd. The mourning crowd, remembering the boy that enriched the lives of everyone he met. Who'd enriched her life when it seemed that no one could.

FLASHBACK 

"_You guys are leaving? What the hell am I supposed to do for the next two months?" demanded Brooke Davis._

"_Darling, don't swear. And I'm sure you'll think of your own ways to have fun," said her mother encouragingly. As if it wasn't enough that her four best friends had taken off for the summer, now her parents had to jet off to the UK for business._

_Brooke waved dejectedly as her parent's drove off for the airport. During the year, Tree Hill was her playground, her kingdom, but during the lonely, hot summer she was it's prisoner._

_She perked up when she saw a mini van pull up to the long empty house across the street. The first few to get out didn't interest her-a mom, a dad, two little kids. But after a moment, a boy of about her age climbed out. Brooke smiled. Finally, something to do this summer._

_End flashback_

"You know, I had a whole speech prepared. About Mouth's life, and all the great things he did. But of course, all of you all knew these things. Because you were all on the sidelines, cheering him on, like I should have been. I don't think Mouth ever truly knew how much I loved him, and still love him. When we got to high school, I…" Brooke glanced down at the crowd. How could she explain what had happened between her and Mouth? She'd never truly understood it herself. "I changed. I started following rules, meeting standards. Mouth showed that he was a better person than all of us by escaping those standards. He followed his interests. He did his own thing."

Through the tears beginning to fill her eyes, Brooke smiled. How else could one describe her first love?

FLASHBACK 

"_Hi, I'm Brooke Davis. I live across the street!" said Brooke cheerily to the new neighbours an hour later. The neighbour took the pie she was holding._

"_Thank you. My name's Sheila McFadden, we just moved here from Long Island. Would you like to come in?" _

_Brooke nodded and skipped in behind the woman. She made a mental note to stop skipping. After all, high school was starting in September._

_Sitting at the counter in the kitchen were a boy and a girl. Brooke smiled to them._

"_Kids, this is our new neighbour Brooke. Brooke, this is Jesse and Dana," said Mrs. McFadden, smiling._

"_Mama, I wanna go swimming," moaned the girl._

"_Hush. Daddy's getting the pool put in next week," reprimanded her mother._

"_You know, there's a pool at the Community Centre, and we could walk there from here. I could take them," offered Brooke. The woman looked reluctant to entrust her children to a neighborhood girl, but she did look exhausted._

"_That's very sweet, but their brother could take them…"_

"_Oh, but he doesn't know where it is. I'll take all three of them!" she said graciously._

_Mouth McFadden looked amazed to be torn from his unpacking his new bedroom and coerced into going with his siblings and the new neighbor to the neighborhood pool. But he went along with it._

"_So what's your real name, Mouth?" she asked eventually, bored from the lack of conversation. He looked sideways at her, noting her sparkling eyes, dimples and even features._

"_Marvin. If you call me that I might have to kill you," he said. She raised her eyebrows._

"_I'll uh, consider myself warned. How's Tree Hill working out for you so far?" she asked. She blushed as his eyes fell further, to the cleavage exposed in her tank top. He looked up again quickly and smiled._

"_I'd have to say it's looking better," he admitted. Brooke smiled as they neared the pool._

_End flashback_

"Mouth was special. He knew what he wanted, even if he didn't always know how to get it. He didn't mind babysitting his pesty siblings…" Brooke glanced down again and noted what had once been pesty younger siblings had somehow, inexplicably, become a preteen and a full fledged teenager. "Even if he knew he could be hanging out with his new girlfriend."

FLASHBACK 

"_What are you doing this summer?" he asked._

"_Like, nothing! Haley and Peyton went off to summer camp and Jake went to Spain for some reason and Chris went back to wherever the hell he came from," said Brooke bitterly. Mouth, who had only been trying to make conversation, looked surprised._

"_Okaaay. You're going to Tree Hill High in September?" he asked._

"_Yeah. I can't wait. Kind of. You know next summer we'll just be partying all the time," she said happily._

"_That's not my kind of thing," he said apologetically._

"_I don't know if it's my kind of thing either. But hey, I have layers," she said, looking sideways at her new friend and winking."_

_End flashback_

"So we're really missing out. All of us are. The whole world is. Because he would have really been something, if he'd had the chance. That was always obvious. The first time we ever kissed was when he came over to fix my hardrive, because it was making buzzy noises. I still don't really know what a hard drive is…"

FLASHBACK 

"_Your house is nice. And surprisingly free of boxes," said Mouth in appreciation, as he shut down her computer._

"_Thanks. You know we considered that but then decided it would be waaay too nineties," she said. He laughed._

"_You're funny. You know, I thought I'd be stuck babysitting all summer," he said._

"_Then I guess you're lucky I showed up," she said. He looked up at her in surprise. She was wearing a sundress and sitting on the countertop, swinging her feet back and forth. He got flustered so easily. It was oddly endearing. Finally he founds words._

"_In more ways than one." Brooke silently slipped off the counter and walked toward him. He wasn't anything like any man she'd ever dreamt of. He was short, and scrawny, and he had a disproportionately large mouth. But maybe that was the secret in finding a guy that wasn't an asshole?_

"_Hi," she said, as they linked hands. _

"_Hi," he said. Slowly they leaned toward each other. Their lips met. Softly. Gently. Brooke cautiously opened her lips to him. As she fluttered her eyelids closed, she began to understand._

_End flashback_

"When I got up here, I thought words would come to me. And I guess they did. A nonsensical, unconnected series of words that make no sense and follow no patterns. But life shouldn't always follow patterns. I think that's what my first love taught me, and I think that is how I'll remember him," said Brooke. She glanced around at the crowd again. Did they understand that she was finished? Did it matter?

XxxxxxX

"Bitch alert, nine o'clock," said Brooke under her breath to Haley. Haley looked skeptically at her best friend, wondering if it was the same girl who'd just cried buckets over her ex-boyfriend.

"You know, I'm going to go talk to Ryan. She looks like she needs me," said Haley, darting off before Davis could approach.

Haley stared at Brooke and Davis, wishing traitorously that they were anywhere but a wake so that she could have license to kick the brunette's ass. She sighed and made her way over to Ryan. She liked Ryan. Ryan was maybe not a backstabbing bitch.

"Hey," she said, when she'd reached her.

"Hey. Not to sound crude, but who was this guy?" she asked.

"Brooke's ex. I never really got the chance to get to know him, but he was a nice guy," said Haley.

"Brooke seems to be coping well," she said in surprise.

"Yeah. I guess she let it all out, or something," said Haley.

"You know, I like Brooke. She's bouncy. And I like you. Do you like my brother?" she asked casually. Haley rolled her eyes, glad that Ryan was a year younger than her and that she could therefore ignore her comments as child's play.

"Damnit, she's coming here," said Haley under her breath, as Davis, now with Peyton, glanced in their direction.

"Oh look, it's my namesake!" said Ryan in false excitement, as Davis came toward them. Haley glanced at her. Was it possible that Davis looked intimidated?

"Well, if it isn't penultimate Scott," she said.

"Look, there's Lucas! Let's go talk to him!" said Peyton, stopping the scene before it could happen. Davis rolled her eyes and followed Peyton. Haley turned to Ryan, impressed.

"Sorry about that. Shannon is pretty much the only person in the world who makes me into such a bitch. She rubs me the wrong way, you know?" said Ryan. It took Haley a moment to register that "Shannon" and Davis were one and the same.

"Yeah. You know I'd invite you to join the club, but it seems like you started the club," said Haley appreciatively.

"You know it. So, about my _brother_…" said Ryan, making Haley roll her eyes once more.


	28. Look Into My Eyes

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Look into my Eyes

Haley James was officially bored.

She knew she couldn't spend one more afternoon tanning at the club. Or shopping with Ryan at the mall, or at Brooke's (which had recently become Brooke and Lucas'), looking at the sonogram. She knew she didn't want to intrude on whatever it was that went on between Davis and Ryan, and Jake had taken off to visit relatives in the aftermath of whatever had happened between him and Peyton.

Haley wondered what exactly _had_ happened between Peyton and Jake. If it had happened anytime before July, she would have known all about it within ten seconds of its happening. Now she knew nothing, and Peyton was barely talking to them. What reason on Earth did Peyton have to freeze out her best friends?

Glancing out the window at the day that was fading into yet another empty night, Haley knew that there was only one thing to be done.

Brooke Davis looked surprised to find her best friend on her stoop, asking for her car. Brooke was rapidly slipping away from her roots, preparing to move away with her boyfriend, whom she was having sex with around the clock.

"Where do you need to go? It's Wednesday night. Nothing's going on. If it was, I'd be there," said Brooke.

"Brooke, please…" said Haley feebly.

"Where?" she demanded again.

"The hotel, all right?" she mumbled. Brooke clapped her hands excitedly.

"Okay, that is just awesome. Take my car. Nice back seat it's got, you know, for…" Haley cut Brooke off.

"Good. Because I've waited a while, and I'm so freaking…" Haley cut herself off as Lucas walked in. "Hungry. Damn, how long has it been since I had a Big Mac?"

Lucas raised an eyebrow as she took Brooke's keys and ran off.

"That might just have been the worst cover story ever," he said thoughtfully, watching the blonde drive off. Brooke turned to him and grinned.

"Nathan Scott is getting some tonight," she said excitedly, leaping into his arms.

Haley took a deep, calming breath as she pulled into the hotel's parking lot. Running a hand through her long hair, she knew it was finally Time.

As she rode up to the room in the elevator, she remembered the time they'd almost made out in it. Then she remembered the time they'd almost made out in LA, and the time they'd almost made out on his bed. She began to understand why Brooke was growing so impatient with her. With them. Were they really about to become a them?

Ryan opened the door after Haley knocked. Haley stared dumbly at her for a second as Nathan came up behind her.

"Ryan. Hey. Do you think you could, um…" Haley tried to think of a reasonable way to ask Ryan to leave.

"Ry, get out," said Nathan. She smiled and left quickly. Haley leaned against the door after it closed.

Haley stared at him for a moment. He tried to keep his face emotionless, but found himself unable to.

"I swear to God, if you say anything remotely misogynistic right now…" she began. He interrupted her.

"I'm kind of hungry. Want to go someplace?" he asked, fishing his keys out of the ashtray by the door.

"Sure," she said, smiling up at him.

The car was less personal than the hotel room, but more intense. Every time Nathan reached over to change gears, she felt the heat of his hand brush up against her thigh.

"Nathan, we need to talk," she said abruptly, upon realizing that he wasn't about to say anything.

"Okay," he said in confusion.

"You did a nice thing for me, with Chris. It was kind of harsh, according to some, but it was a nice thing for you to do. And I know you didn't sleep with Davis, but even if you did it doesn't really concern me. And I know you've been trying to get me to forgive you for a while now, but right now all that I can ask is that you forgive me," said Haley. Nathan looked at her in amazement.

"I don't know what to say," he said honestly. She laughed.

"Something along the lines of "let's give it another shot" would be appropriate right now," she suggested.

"I live on the other side of the country…" he began.

"Yeah, but you're here right now," said Haley gently.

"But…"

"Come on, are you going to make me beg?" she asked. He looked suggestively at her.

"If that's what you're in to," he said.

"What did I say about suggestive comments?" she asked.

"If you didn't like my comments you wouldn't be here, Haley," he said.

"Shut up. I don't like them. And I'll never admit to liking them. Admitting to liking you was hard enough," she said teasingly.

As Nathan smiled again, he desperately wished them back to his hotel room. What he'd to her if he had the chance… Damnit. Lost in the moment, he didn't comprehend when everything suddenly went black.

Haley didn't put the facts together when she heard the gunshot. Naively, she assumed it to be a backfiring car. What else could it be? For God's sakes, it was Tree Hill.

"Nathan?" she said in amazement, when the glass shattered and he put his fingers to the wound on his chest. "Oh my God, Nathan."

"Call an ambulance," he said, his voice aleady fading.

Haley grabbed her phone out of her purse and quickly dialed. Traffic around them stopped.

"Why would someone shoot at you?" she asked desperately. He didn't appear to hear her. Haley reached for him, but pulled away when her hand was covered in his blood.

She was somewhat relieved when everything went black for her as well.

* * *

"Gunshot wound. Male, approximately 25." Haley indistinctly heard someone speak, but she could for the life of her remember why.

"What about the girl?" came another, more urgent voice.

"Doesn't appear to be harmed in any way. She was unconscious when we got there, but looks to be easily awoken. Look, she's coming to already," said the first voice. Haley sat straight up as soon as she'd oriented herself: she was in Tree Hill General Hospital. Gunshots. Cars. Nathan.

"Where's Nathan? Is he going to be okay?" she demanded, attempting to climb off the bed she was being wheeled in.

"Calm down," said a nurse, attempting to push her down.

"No, I'm fine. I didn't get shot. Where is he?" she demanded.

"In surgery. Are you a relation?" asked the first Doctor.

"No. Not exactly. He's Nathan Scott. His brother's around. I can call him if you let me down," she said. The nurse almost cracked a smile.

"We'd like to give you a look over, but if you could give us his brother's number we could call him," said another nurse.

"Okay. Is Nathan going to be alright?" she asked. The nurses looked blank. Haley frowned, realizing that they didn't see Nathan as her Nathan, an actual person.

They only saw his gunshot wound.

* * *

"Oh my God Haley, are you alright?" asked Brooke, running in with Lucas at her heels.

"I'm fine. They just won't let me get up and they won't tell me about Nathan and they don't believe that nothing is wrong and they made me talk to these scary officers," said Haley tearfully. Brooke leaned down to kiss her cheek and they hugged.

"Nate's still in surgery. They don't know anything yet. And they're conducting a criminal investigation," said Lucas.

"They're all worried because I fainted. For God's sake, Nathan got shot. Is Ryan around?" asked Haley.

"She's under eighteen. They wouldn't let her," said Brooke.

Haley looked up hopefully when the door opened again. But it wasn't Nathan Scott, or Ryan Scott. It wasn't even a Doctor.

"So, you are, in fact, still alive," said Haley critically, as Peyton walked in.

"Sorry about that. Are you okay?" she asked anxiously.

"I'm fine. You know too bad your phone got cut off. Oh no wait…" said Haley.

"Look, I'm sorry. How's Nathan?" she asked.

"I have no idea. No one tells me anything around here," complained Haley.

"So obviously we need something to distract you from being a high maintenance bitch. Let's talk about what you were doing in Nathan's car!" said Brooke excitedly.

"We were kind of interrupted," she said in annoyance. Brooke fell silent, comprehending.

"Oh."


	29. Reconnecting

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Reconnecting

_Author's note: So this is me playing shamelessly for reviews. Give me enough and I'll post twice again tomorrow, I promise. _

* * *

Peyton couldn't help but let out a groan of frustration as she exited Haley's room under the façade of going for coffee. What right did they have to be so mad? They'd seen her the day before yesterday, at Mouth's funeral. That counted, didn't it?

As attractive as the ideas ditching or calling Davis on her phone seemed, she knew she couldn't. Haley was in the hospital, even if it was completely unnecessary. Peyton felt like she had no allies. Haley was pissed off at everyone, Brooke was damn good at holding a grudge, and Lucas was too much in love with Brooke to think of anyone else.

"Peyton?" came a voice. She snapped her head up as Jake came running, a bouquet of daisies in his hand.

"Is she okay?" he asked anxiously.

"Yeah. Nathan not so much, but Haley's perfect," she said.

"Are you okay? You look kind of shaken," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She jumped away immediately.

Jake led her to a grouping of chairs and they sat.

"They hate me," she said pitifully. He smiled and put an arm around her shoulders.

"They don't. They miss you," he said consolingly.

"Liar," she said, tucking her head into his shoulder.

"Hey, it's what I'm here for," he said.

"You know, I can think of a few other reasons," she said, sitting up straight again.

Jake smiled as she leaned forward to kiss him. Finally, it was happening. Here, under the fluorescent lights, in the midst of weird smells, he was getting everything he'd ever wanted. He put a hand on her waist and tried to get close with the armrests in the way.

"So now it's official. Hospital chairs: _the_ most uncomfortable place to make out," joked Peyton.

"Are we actually going to do this?" he asked.

"I don't know. It might be weird…" she said reluctantly. Leaning forward, he kissed her again.

"It definitely doesn't feel weird," he said.

"I know. I just feel like it should," she said.

"That makes absolutely no sense," said Jake.

"Yeah, yeah. I should go in there, talk to Haley. Why're they so pissed, anyway? Is it because they think I slept with you and broke your heart?" pondered Peyton. Jake laughed at this.

"Pey, I didn't even tell them about that. It's because they think you're sleeping with Davis," he said.

"Dude, are you serious? That's insane. I'll see you in there, okay?" she said, leaning in to kiss him again before departing.

Jake happily watched her go. He was quite certain that now that Davis was out of the way, everything was going to be fine, for the first time since he'd met her.

As he stood to go, he was suddenly knocked forward several feet by someone running toward him.

"God, sorry, I'm such a…" Jake turned to look at his attacker, and saw a blonde girl apologizing nervously. She smiled when she saw him. "…Klutz. Hi. Hi. I'm Ryan."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Jake," he said. She smiled again. After they had shaken hands she took a step back, and she purposefully gave him a view of her long, slim, toned legs. He smiled.

"Sorry about that. You know, you look familiar," she said.

"I've lived here my entire life. Where're you from?" he asked kindly, itching to go off and find Peyton again.

"New York. I'm just visiting my… oh my God, my brother. Nathan. Shit, where is he?" she asked, suddenly distracted.

"Damnit, you're the youngest Scott? He's in surgery. Haley's fine," he said. He comfortingly took her hands when she began to wring them anxiously.

"But he's going to be okay, right?" she demanded. Jake had only the chance to shrug before he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Ryan?"

"Luke, I'm so glad to see you. Have they told you anything?" she asked, as she went to hug her brother. Lucas glared suspiciously at Jake as she did so. Jake tried to hold in a laugh.

"Not yet. I'm sure he'll be fine," said Lucas consolingly, awkwardly rubbing her back. After that, they fell silent. Jake observed this with interest, remembering Haley talking of how close Ryan and Nathan were.

"So, Ryan, want to go see Haley?" he suggested, breaking the awkward silence.

"Like you wouldn't believe," she said under her breath, following him down the hallway.

Peyton had reached Haley's room significantly before him. By the time he, Ryan and Lucas arrived back, the two blonde's were on the bed, talking animatedly. He smiled as he watched his best friend reconnect with her best friend. Things were slipping back into place, even with all the Scotts around.

Ryan squealed in slight alarm and flew to the bed.

"Are you alright? Where are you hurt?" she demanded anxiously.

"I'm fine, little girl. It's good to see you," said Haley, looking equally concerned. Jake remembered guiltily that although Haley was fine, and Peyton was maybe his girlfriend, Nathan was very possibly dying in the same hospital.

"I'm so glad my idiot brother didn't get you hurt," she said comfortingly. Jake couldn't help but eye the three blondes sitting together on the bed. The young Scott was a bit too perky and a bit too young, but…

"He wouldn't. And I'm sure he'll be fine. I just wish they'd let me up," she said in annoyance.

"Why? What's on your schedule?" asked Peyton suspiciously.

"Go and… wait outside Nathan's room?" she said to herself.

"There'll be plenty of time for that later," said Lucas, arriving back in the room. "Nathan'll be in surgery for a couple hours, and in recovery for a while after that."

Ryan and Haley frowned simultaneously. Brooke flew to the bed and she and Peyton did their best to comfort the girls, so heartbroken for two entirely different reasons.


	30. Again and Yet Again

Chapter Thirty: Again and Yet Again

At the end of the day, after Haley had been released from the hospital, they were all forced to go home. Bound together by tragedy, the six of them went together to the hotel.

"Why aren't Mom and Daddy here yet?" asked Ryan nervously. She was sitting by herself on the bed with her knees drawn up against her chest. Jake and Peyton were sitting together on a sofa and Haley sat on the ground, leaning against the door. Brooke was in the bathroom throwing up.

"Sweetie, Lucas called them. They were detained in London, remember?" said Haley. Ryan frowned.

"Every time I hope I'll get a different answer. Surprisingly I never do. I wish Leigh was here," said Ryan.

"Is she close to Nathan?" asked Peyton, eyeing the stranger warily.

"No. Not like I am. But she'd want to be here. And she's close to me," said Ryan.

"And your parents took her to London with them?" said Jake.

"I guess. Haley, are you okay?" asked Ryan nervously. Haley looked up.

"I will be, if he is," she said softly.

"Whatever happened to Davis?" asked Ryan in surprise. Haley cocked her head sideways and considered this. Probably the last time Ryan had talked to her brother, he'd still been with Davis, living the life in LA. Of course this was confusing.

"They broke up. I think she left town or something, I haven't been able to reach her," said Peyton, reassuringly squeezing Jake's hand.

"Weird. She tends to cause the drama, not avoid it," said Ryan bitterly. Haley held back a smile.

"So I guess this proves that Davis Ryan can turn pretty much anyone into a bitch," said Brooke, coming in to the room with Lucas.

"How're you doing, kid?" asked Lucas awkwardly, sitting on the bed beside Ryan. She threw her long, shiny hair over her shoulder and turned to him.

"Don't call me kid. And I think I'll be okay," she said. Brooke eyed them sitting awkwardly on the bed together, and recalled the few times she'd seen Nathan and Ryan together.

"So have you two actually met?" she asked, dropping down onto the sofa beside Peyton.

"He's closer to Leigh," said Ryan kindly.

"She's closer to Nathan," said Lucas. Haley nodded understandingly. She was one of seven siblings and was close only to Taylor, who'd been cut off by their parents and disappeared.

"You two look alike, you know," said Brooke.

"But Ryan has Nathan's eyes," said Haley softly.

The next morning she woke up early to go visit Nathan at the hospital. Before his parents or siblings could crowd his room, his almost but not quite girlfriend was at his side, holding his hand, willing him to awaken.

Haley stared into his peaceful pace, listened to his slow, steady breathing. What was it about him? Though she'd never admit to it, he'd broken up the only real relationship she'd ever been. He'd made here hate more powerfully than she'd ever dreamed of, made her want more than she thought possible.

He wasn't nice. He wasn't courteous. He was crude. He was spoiled. Nathan Scott was used to the whole world kissing up to him. Haley knew that she had power over Nathan as much as he had power over her. Was this why? Had her being a petulant bitch during their entire acquaintance caused his fevered desire of her? Or was it just a game?

Intertwining her hand with his, Haley knew she'd give anything to have the answers to these questions.

Ryan arrived next.

"I'm guessing he hasn't woken up yet?" asked the younger blonde from the doorway.

"No. Is everyone here?" she asked.

"No. Lucas is trying to find someone to talk to, but we left Brooke, Peyton and Jake at the hotel," said Ryan slowly.

"Can you go find Luke? I need a moment," said Haley, staring at Nathan.

"Sure," said Ryan softly, running off down the hall.

Haley brought Nathan's hand to her lips and willed him to open his eyes.

"Hey. They say you're going to be fine. Can't you just wake up?" she said.

Nathan didn't move. The beeping of the machine beside him quickly filled the silence.

"I guess you need more than that. I'm here, Nathan. I'm here for you. It's me, Haley. I want to be here for you, Nathan. I always have. Even when I shot you down and yelled at you and called you names, I've always wanted you in my life. I was so afraid you'd go back to LA and I'd never see you again. I wouldn't be able to tell you ever. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you again, how much I need you. Maybe we communicate better when you're unconscious?" she suggested, laughing gently.

"Okay. Ryan's here too. I don't know how you ended up being such an asshole toward women growing up with her. She's tough. I wouldn't think she'd take it, you know? Like I don't. That's got to stop when we get together. And you've got to move to Providence with me so I won't be lonely. Because I'm not so good at making friends. I used to be, and then I stopped needing to. Brooke made friends and I just kind of existed near them. Really pathetic, now that I think about it."

Haley sighed. How could he be sleeping through this? She brushed a kiss onto his forehead before laying her head on his chest, listening to the reassuring beating of his heart.

"Wake up, Nate. I need you," she begged silently.

* * *

Haley was dreaming. Dreaming wishes mixed with nightmares, memories littered with wishful thinkings. She dreamt back to the days of Brooke and Mouth, to the days of Chris and Haley. And forward, to the day of Jake and Peyton, the days of Nathan and Haley.

All these dreams were shattered when she felt a slight pressure on her right hand.

Haley sat up, immediately alert. His eyes didn't open. His heart beat hadn't change. But the faintest flutter of his hand was enough.

"Nathan?" she whispered, her voice sounding foreign even to her own ears. His eyes still didn't open.

"Haley?" he said. She reached and cupped his cheek in her hand.

"Wake up baby," she whispered.

"What happened?" he asked.

"A bullet. They're looking into it. How do you feel? It hit something and you bled a lot and you needed an operation," she explained.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I haven't been able to leave, Nathan. I'm here to say what I wanted to say what I should have said in the car. We've spent too much time "almost" getting there. It's time we got there. I think it's time we gave it a more honest shot. I'm here to try again, Nathan, if you'll try with me," she said. As she spoke, he opened his eyes and she was struck by the cobalt blue, the colour she could never let herself forget.


	31. Tired of Fighting

Chapter Thirty-One: Tired of Fighting

Lucas smiled when he came across his second youngest sister leaning against Nathan's door, unsubtly eavesdropping.

"Ry?" he said teasingly. She shushed him.

"Nathan woke up, he's fine. Haley's in there with him. And they're having a moment..!" she said desperately as Lucas turned the door handle and walked in.

Haley looked up sharply as Lucas walked in. Immediately she dropped Nathan's hand, sent him a scorned look, and walked out.

"Dude, you're up," said Lucas, walking toward his brother.

"Yeah," he said, watching Haley walk off.

"What's she mad about?" asked Lucas.

"She uh, took something I said the wrong way. Chicks, you know," said Nathan off-handedly.

"Ass," said Ryan fondly, going to sit by him.

"Look, I don't mean to be crude, but Brooke and I are supposed to fly down to LA with her stuff today. We can come back tomorrow, but do you mind if..?"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him," said Ryan confidently.

"Yeah, it's all good. Is Mom around?" he asked.

"Nah, she was detained. You'll call her?" said Lucas, leaving the room.

"How long do you think she's going to let you stay?" asked Nathan.

"My flight's in a week. You know you could come with us for a visit. You haven't been home in ages," she said reproachfully.

Lucas felt guilt consume him as he walked back to his car to drive back to Brooke. Of course Nathan would say that he didn't mind. Did it really meant he didn't?

He expected Brooke to still be sleeping, as she generally would be. Instead Lucas found her sitting up by the window in her bedroom, staring outside. She didn't notice when he entered, didn't stir when he walked up to her.

"It's okay to be sad," he said.

"I'm okay," she said, standing up.

"Are you?"

"It's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel, Luke," she said, looking into his blue eyes. In her eyes, he couldn't lie. But even her eyes couldn't open his mouth.

"Are you ready?" he asked eventually. She let out a squawk of protest, and he noticed that she was still dressed in her brief satin nightie.

"I think I might give the movers the wrong idea," she said jokingly. He glanced around the room, bereft of her personal items.

"We don't have to leave for another half hour," he said. She almost frowned. Was it wrong that she disappointed at the lack of suggestion in his voice?

"I'll shower. I'm guessing Nathan is still..?"

"He's fine. I didn't say? I left him with Ryan," said Lucas.

"That's great! He doesn't mind us leaving?" said Brooke, walking over to fetch her towel, dropping her nightie as she walked.

"We'll come back soon," he said comfortingly. Brooke smiled over her shoulder at him as she left.

"And anyway, he has Haley," she said, winking. Lucas waited until she was gone.

"_I wouldn't count on it,"_ he said eventually.

A half hour later, a freshly cleaned Brooke Davis and a brooding Lucas Scott drove out of Tree Hill.

"I still haven't met you parents," said Brooke abruptly.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm not hiding them, it's just that they're not around a lot," he said apologetically.

"I get it. And what would we tell them about the baby, anyway? Were they distant when you were growing up?" she asked curiously.

"No. They only started being distant when Nathan and I moved across the country and only occasionally came home for Christmas," he said.

Brooke said nothing. She knew he had more to say.

"I was worse. Nate's kind of an ass, but he's always known that one day he'd have to go back and work with Dad. I'm amazed they still finance me," he said.

"They love you," she said softly.

"We'll go out there as soon as we're settled, okay?" he suggested. She nodded eagerly.

"I can't wait to meet Leigh. I don't think Ryan likes me too much," said Brooke, wrinkling her nose.

"Oh, she does. Ryan likes everyone, except Davis. Or "Shannon", as she so evilly calls her. But Leigh's awesome," said Lucas fondly.

"So that's it? No other Scotts are going to come into the picture? Because honestly, I don't think I can handle any more," she said.

"Not that I know of," said Lucas comfortingly, as they pulled into the parking lot of the airport.

Brooke Davis' jaw dropped in horror hours later when they arrived in his apartment. Exhausted and crippled by jet-lag she knew she wouldn't be able to stay awake, but her horror of the bachelor pad was enough to make her want to stay up.

"You live here?" she said in amazement.

"Yeah. Don't like it?" he asked.

"As soon as it's morning we're going to the paint store. And a pottery barn. And hiring a maid," she informed him, going off to seek the bedroom.

"What have I gotten myself into?" he said to himself, following her to their room.

Brooke quickly shed her clothing and fell into the bed in exhaustion.

But somehow, inexplicably, she could not sleep.


	32. I Won't Let Go At Any Price

Chapter Thirty-Two: I Won't Let Go At Any Price

Only mild disgust with herself propelled Haley to go into work the next morning. She was mostly inclined to stay in bed all day and wallow in self-pity.

Brooke couldn't have had worse timing to move. When a girl is rejected, she needs nothing more than her best friend's shoulder to cry on, her best friend's helpful hands to help with the burning of photographs. But Haley couldn't bring herself to burn the photographs.

Because deep down, she couldn't make herself believe that it was truly over.

Nathan plagued her all day at work.

He was such an ass sometimes. He didn't deserve her obsession.

"_Stop wiggling. I'm not going to hurt you. It takes the fun out of it. I'm just letting you now that you're not going to play me. No one does. But that doesn't mean we can't play."_

"_Most guys have a problem with being a boy-toy without the benefits."_

"_There are lots of rooms. But of course, all that only matters until you move into my room."_

"_You don't have to be so high on yourself, little girl."_

"_Woman, has anyone ever scolded you in your entire life?"_

"_What, you're saying you don't remember?"_

"_Bit high on yourself?"_

Never before had she felt as demeaned, as cheap as Nathan had made her feel in the last month. Never before had she felt so desperately wanted.

She still didn't know if she could trust him. If all his passionate relationship talk was really anything more than talk. Could he really be trusted to keep his hands off Davis? Off every other girl? Haley was almost certain she'd caught him glancing in Peyton's direction a few days ago.

Briefly she recalled his smile. His wide, beautiful smile that never failed to make her smile in return. His blue eyes, his chest without his shirt, his voice, his cocky smirk. It was all part of the Nathan package, he would never be Nathan if he didn't have all of it, down to the irritating lift in his voice when he knew he'd won.

"Haley? Nathan's better, why aren't you down there?" asked Peyton in surprise, coming into the café, Haley's workplace, in the middle of the day. Haley looked up and scowled. "Oh."

Haley looked intently at a table she was wiping down, attempting to block out her friend's presence.

"So you're going to torture him for a little while longer before giving him another chance?" asked Peyton.

"No. I'm giving up on him. Know of anyone single?" she asked, moving on to another table.

"Oh, you're in such denial…" said Peyton.

"Of what?" demanded Haley.

"Hales, you're in love with him."

"No I'm not. And like you're the expert. Jake's been in love with you since the fifth grade and you didn't even register his existence until last week. He's broken his heart a thousand times over you and you've taken him for granted," said Haley.

"Okay, I deserve that. But we're together now. And it's great. And you know that you and Nathan would be great, Haley. We've all known it since you jetted off to LA with him. And came back with that hickey that you've never talked about. Is he a good kisser?" she asked eagerly. Haley frowned at the memory.

"He never actually kissed me. Just gave me the hickey. This is all irrelevant, Peyton. He doesn't want me anymore."

Peyton left. After all, there was only so much a girl could be expected to do.

Haley had hoped that her abysmal performance would cause her boss to let her go early, but she had no such luck. Her employer left early, leaving Haley to shut down the café.

Dismally she wiped down the rest of the tables and put up the chairs, imagining an entire summer of doing the same thing. Or, a summer half. Time was passing. It would slip by her soon.

Haley looked up in fear when the door to the café was banged open loudly. But her heart rate didn't still when she saw who it was.

"Nathan? What are you doing here?" asked Haley as he entered the café, oblivious to the "Closed" sign on the door.

"I'm just here to tell you I've done hiding," he said.

"What?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"You're the one, Haley. I know that. I think I've always known it. And even though you're too young for me, too innocent for me and definitely too good for me, I'm going to stop fighting it. In fact, I'm going to start fighting for it," said Nathan.

"What about Davis?"

"Davis has never been a part of this. It's always been us, Haley. And Chris, who you're only holding on to because of memories. Let go," he said.

Haley paused, caught between his declaration of desire and his put down of Chris.

"I hate you," she said at last. Nathan smirked self knowingly.

"You love me," he countered. Haley paused again, for a second that was an eternity.

"You know I think that what it all comes down to is that they're pretty much the same emotion," she said shakily.

Nathan grabbed her unwillingly shoulders and pulled her toward him in one swift movement.

"I'm not giving up. And I always get my way," he said, before crushing his lips onto hers.

Even after his speech, Nathan had been fairly sure that she'd resist, at least once more. But finally, they fit. Fit perfectly. His intense grip on her shoulders fell to a light one at her waist while their passionate kiss deepened. As she wove her arms around his neck, he lifted her slightly until their lips were at the same height.

Nothing in Haley's life had been in preparation for this. Nothing she'd ever experienced had warned her of what love could be like. Or whatever it was that they shared. Was it love? Was it lust? Was it merely coincidence?

Whatever it was, it was heaven to both of them.


	33. Reaping the Benefits

Chapter Thirty-Three: Reaping the Benefits

_Author's note: SO sorry for the delay. I'm suffering from mild writer's block and major homework anxiety. So yeah, I'm trying to speed up, but they won't come as quickly as they did over the holidays.

* * *

_

Nathan slowly let Haley down to the ground, afraid to remove his arms from her. He was afraid she'd shoot him down, as she had so many times. Maybe she hadn't felt it. Maybe they were one way fireworks. Maybe she was about to say something mean again. Unconsciously, he tightened his hold on her.

"I don't actually hate you," she said eventually. He smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo as he did so.

"I know. You're a terrible liar," he said.

"I think it might be just that I can't lie to you," said Haley, leaning back in his arms to look into his eyes.

"You never could," said Nathan.

"You're a good kisser, you know?" she said.

"I'm good at lots of things," said Nathan. Haley rolled her eyes emphatically.

"You know…" Nathan abruptly cut off her flow of words with another kiss.

"That's going to come in handy when you're babbling on about something," he said.

"Or when you're being a jerk," she said, leaning up to kiss him again. Nathan shut his eyes and opened his lips to prolong the kiss. God it was good. It was everything he'd ever imagined. He wanted more, he wanted everything, but for the time being, having her there with him was enough. It was everything.

"If we kiss every time I'm being a jerk and every time you won't shut up, we're going to end up kissing a lot," he said.

"That's fine with me," said Haley.

"Good. Because this has gotten to bet the longest it has taken anyone to get together. Ever," said Nathan. Haley laughed.

"Or I'm just the only girl you've ever wanted that wasn't willing to put up with your crap," she teased.

"Or maybe you're just the only girl I've ever really wanted," said Nathan. Haley continued gazing into his eyes, hypnotized by their warmth.

"You know we don't have to be talking right now. We could be kissing instead," said Haley.

Nathan didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

"God, she's just so frustrating! I try and talk to her and she just denies everything," ranted Peyton.

"Peyton, she's your best friend," reminded Jake.

"You're my best friend," said Peyton, allowing herself to be pulled onto his lap.

"No, I think we've affectively ruined our friendship," he said. She giggled uncharacteristically.

"Most definitely. But you don't see me complaining. Ugh. I have to find her and apologize. I was being judgmental. Or something," said Peyton.

"Come on. I'll go with you, it won't take long," he said comfortingly, leading her downstairs to her car.

Peyton stared silently at him as they drove through Tree Hill. Conversation came easily to them, but they'd passed the point years ago that they required it. At times like this, their friendship mingled with their less platonic relationship and made it stronger.

"So this is becoming kind of cliché, but…" Peyton stopped when Jake briefly turned his head toward her, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"I got a letter from the NYU people today. I got turned down for a spot in the residence because I applied too late," she began.

"That's too bad. I told you to respond faster to those letters," he said, faux sternly. She smiled.

"Yeah. And I know you have a spot in the residence. But it got a call from Taylor, Haley's big sister, and she told me she graduated a couple months ago and was going to move and wanted to sub-let her apartment because she knew I was moving out to the city," explained Peyton.

"That's great. It's impossible to find housing in New York," he said.

"So I've heard. And she says it's nice and near campus and everything. The only problem is that it's a two bedroom place. And I definitely can't afford it by myself," said Peyton. Jake nodded slowly, comprehending.

"You mean it would be ideal for you to get a roommate?" he prompted her.

"Yeah. Definitely," she said.

"Maybe of the boyfriend variety?" he asked. She turned to face him in her seat and smiled.

"Perfect."

* * *

Haley smiled as she and Nathan fell onto the bed in his hotel room. His weight on top of hers was so right, somehow.

She quivered slightly as he slid his hand up her shirt, slowly exposing the bits of herself that she'd kept hidden for so long.

With practiced hands he slowly undid the buttons of her shirt and unclasped her bra. When he got this far, Haley known they'd done enough, even if she wanted desperately to continue.

Haley slowly pushed him off of her, reclasped her bra, and took several calming breaths.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not ready," she said.

"That's okay," said Nathan, running a hand through his mussed hair.

"For what it's worth, I think you're going to make me change my mind," she said, smiling at him.

"I'm famous for that," said Nathan proudly. She lazily slapped his arm. Leaning toward her, they began to kiss over her shoulder.

Haley didn't hear Petyon's footsteps, nor did she hear her gasp of alarm. All she felt were eyes.

"God, Peyton. Uh, hi," she said awkwardly, tearing her lips away from Nathan's.

"Hi. I came here to apologize…" Peyton glanced at Nathan. "But I'm guessing it isn't necessary anymore?"

"I guess not. Is Jake with you?" asked Haley. Instantly, Jake appeared in the doorway beside Peyton.

"Hey. She wouldn't let me come in case you were na…" Peyton sharply elbowed his ribs and he called out in surprise and pain. Nathan held back a laugh.

"Well I'm not, so it's all good," she said, smiling at him.

"We're getting an apartment together in New York," said Peyton.

"I know. Taylor figured you would. But that's great. Want to go out to celebrate?" asked Haley. Peyton looked between Nathan and Haley.

"Sure. Do you guys need a few minutes, or..?" Haley blushed before running a hand through her hair and grabbing Nathan's hand to lead him out the door to follow the other couple.


	34. Overload

Chapter Thirty-Four: Overload

* * *

Author's note: If "Winding Road" was a TV show, two chapters ago, just after the kiss, would have been the season finale. Last chapter with the fluff would have been the season premiere. Haley, Nathan, Brooke, Lucas, Jake and Peyton would be the stars, listed in that order. Davis would have been taken off the opening credits two chapters ago. Ryan would have been added to the opening credits last chapter, having been previously listed as a guest star. Keith, Karen and Leigh would be listed as special guest stars. So there's a nice vaguely spoilerish analogy for you, and here's the new chapter. Episode. Whatever.

* * *

Ryan Scott had quickly grown used to knocking on her brother's door before entering. A few sightings of her brother and his new girlfriend making out on his bed had been enough to cure her of entering spontaneously.

But on that day, a week and a half after the day in the café, Ryan was quite sure that nothing short of a wall of fire could keep her from her brother's name.

She groaned in irritation as she entered her brother's room at a run and he didn't even notice.

"Nathan, Haley! Get up, get dressed, the parental units are approaching!" she said in panic. Nathan didn't entirely hear her speech, but he understood the gist of it. He hurriedly threw Haley off of him, put his shirt back on over his wife beater and took her hand to drag her into the room between his bedroom and the hallway, where they had had their first date.

Keith and Karen Scott came into the room to find Nathan and a girl they'd never met sitting on either side of Ryan.

"Mom, Keith," said Nathan, his voice happy but calm. Quickly he stood up to embrace his parents. (Or what Haley thought had been his parents. Had he really just called his father by his first name?)

"Nathan, how are you? No Davis anymore?" asked Karen Scott, hugging her eldest son.

"No. Guys, this is Haley. Haley this is my mom, Karen, and my stepdad, Keith," said Nathan. Haley stood and was surprised to receive an embrace from her new boyfriend's mother.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you, Mr. And Mrs. Scott," she said shyly.

"Thank you Haley, it's nice to meet you as well," said Keith. Karen analyzed the girl for a moment.

"You live here, in Tree Hill?" she asked eventually.

"Yes. I'm actually Davis' cousins' best friend," said Haley.

"Ah. I was born here too," said Karen. Haley looked between the two and wondered how they had created three blondes. Or however many blondes.

"Mom, where's Leigh?" asked Ryan. Ryan stood and Haley noticed how much taller Nathan and Ryan were than Karen, who was around Haley's height.

"Oh, did we lose her again? Kid's more curious than that monkey," joked Keith. Karen smiled.

"Asleep in the car. Where's Luke's room?" asked Karen. Haley and Nathan exchanged significant glances.

"Luke doesn't stay at the hotel," said Ryan, intercepting their looks, interpreting them, and deciding on what needed to be said.

"Where does he stay?" asked Karen.

"He's shacked up with his gi…" Ryan yelped in surprise as Nathan clamped a hand on her mouth to shut her up.

"You know, Lucas will explain, so let's all just head over there. Ryan you ride with Mom and Dad, and Haley'll come with me," he said.

Karen Scott watched as his son walked hand in hand with Haley in the opposite direction. Besides thinking that the new girl was slightly too young and perhaps innocent, she approved. Anything was an improvement after Davis.

Nathan turned to Haley immediately as they got into his car, ready to resume their previous activity.

"Wait a sec. Why aren't your parents more worried about the you getting shot thing?" asked Haley.

"Oh. Lucas just told them that I was in the hospital, and then later on he told them that it was no big, so they wouldn't worry," explained Nathan. Haley frowned.

"Nate, you got shot. Don't you think they'd at least care?" she asked.

"Yes, they would. Enough to freak out and pull a twenty-four hour watch and go insane. I'm a big boy, Hales," he said.

"You think it's because of them, isn't it?" she asked, looking into his eyes.

"It's related. I would be no one if they weren't so successful and rich. They'd blame themselves. It's being kept out of the papers. Calm down," he said.

"I don't agree with you," she said stubbornly. She was surprised when he covered her lips in his, but she quickly reciprocated and drew him against herself.

"I know. That's why we work," he whispered, nibbling on her earlobe before his lips traveled down her neck.

Haley and Nathan were surprised to find his sisters and his parents with Brooke and Lucas in their home when they joined them twenty minutes later.

"Brooke! When did you get back?" asked Haley, lunging for her friend and throwing her arms around her neck.

"As soon as I heard," she whispered into her friend's ear. She spoke again, louder, for the benefit of everyone else. "Mr. And Mrs. Scott told us they would be in town and we thought we'd swing by."

Brooke blushed as she saw the three newcomers blatantly analyze her. Haley took advantage of their gaze and analyzed them in turn.

Leigh Scott looked very much like her big sister, but without Nathan's blue eyes. She was an inch or two taller, and equally slim. It was obvious that at one point she'd had her sister's long blonde hair, but it was dyed darker, at a sharp contrast with her fair, lightly freckled face. She was dressed simply in a black tank top and blue jeans that tightly fit her legs and accented their slimness. She had two piercings in her left ear, and when her shirt briefly lifted Haley saw that her belly button was pierced as well.

Karen Scott was dwarfed by her four tall children, standing at around Haley's height. For some reason, this made Haley much less scared of her. In the ten minutes she'd known her, Karen had made many analytical glances in her and Brooke's direction, but she endeared herself to Haley nonetheless.

Keith looked nothing like any of his children, but something in his voice, in his manners, linked all of them. He was tall and fairly athletically built. Haley was fairly sure she liked him the best.

"So you two live together in LA," said Karen in surprise. Haley zoomed back into the conversation.

"Yeah. It's a recent thing," Lucas assured his mother.

"And you two live at the hotel together?" asked Karen worriedly, turning to her elder son.

"No. She was just visiting. We don't. We haven't. Yet," said Nathan awkwardly. Haley covertly poked him hard on his back.

"Do _you_ have anything to tell us, Pumpkin?" asked Keith in bewilderment, turning to his eldest daughter. Ryan smiled at her father.

"Don't worry, they reserved all the heart attacks before I got the chance to," said Ryan.

"This one freaked us out enough two weeks ago, and now this…" said Karen, smiling slightly.

"Come on, get over it. It's just hair," complained Leigh, speaking for the first time. Haley glanced over at her and smiled a smile that the other girl did not return.

"It was hair. Now it's a sign that you worship Satan and stay out of the sunlight," said Karen, faux sternly.

"Wow, dramatic much?" asked Ryan.

"Haley, are you going to school next year?" asked Karen, ignoring her daughter.

"Yeah. I'm going to be a freshman at Brown," she said. Karen raised her eyebrows at "freshman", but said nothing.

"Congratulations, that's a great school."

"Thank you," said Haley, smiling nervously. Suddenly she noticed that all the attention had shifted back to her.

"I'd love to get to know you better Haley. How about we have lunch sometime before we go back to New York?" suggested Karen.

"Sounds great," said Haley, already dreading the hour she would spend with the mother of the boy she was dating.


	35. The Way We Were

Chapter Thirty-Five: The Way We Were

Haley spun around in front of Nathan as she came out of her bathroom in the fourth outfit of the morning.

"It's good. I liked the one before it better though," he said.

"You would. But what about my hair? It's being all misbehavish. And what are her interests, anyway?" asked Haley nervously. Nathan reached out and took Haley's hand to pull her towards him. She smiled as he pulled her onto his lap.

"Currently, her interest is you. She just wants to get to know you, Hales. And I'd like it if you got to know her as well. Relax," he instructed her calmly.

"I suck with parents. Chris' parents were never around. And when they were they really didn't pay much attention to me, so I really don't have much practice with them," she said.

"You'll do great. She'll love you," said Nathan encouragingly.

"She didn't seem to. She seems so suspicious of Brooke and me," said Haley doubtfully.

"If you look at my record, you've got to imagine she'd be suspicious. Now go brush your hair, or you'll be late," he said. She smiled and got up, and he lightly smacked her behind.

Karen Scott looked up as the bell on the door of the small café they were meeting at jingled. Haley James walked in dressed in a white skirt and a denim jacket, looking apprehensive yet poised.

"Haley, it's nice to see you again. Please, sit," she said, as Haley hovered nervously by a chair.

"Thank you, you too. Will you and Leigh and Mr. Scott be in town much longer?" she asked.

"No, Keith has to be in New York the day after tomorrow. But we're having the boys back there for a week soon," said Karen.

"That's nice. And I guess Ryan's going back soon?" asked Haley.

"Yes, for her senior year. She tells me you two have become friends?"

"Yeah, we have. You know, I have to ask," said Haley desperately.

"What's wrong?"

"Is Keith Nathan and Lucas' father? Nate never explained to me so I guess it's a sensitive issue, but…" Haley trailed off, wondering if she'd crossed any lines.

"Ah. How much time do you have?" asked Karen jokingly. Haley smiled in relief.

"All the time in the world."

Karen paused again before beginning.

"I guess it began in 1980. I was a twenty year old pregnant drop out. I was going to have a baby with a man I thought I was in love with. A man named Dan Scott," said Karen, pausing for dramatic affect. Haley ran the name through her mind.

"It was doubtful that he would for a while, but eventually we got married before the baby was born. His father Royal stuck him into a subsidiary of the company that would eventually go to the elder son, whom I'd never met. We got a nice apartment in Manhattan, and all was well for a while. Until the baby was born."

"Nathan," said Haley matter-of-factly. Karen nodded.

"Nathan. Dan was a nice guy before he had a chance to corrupt his children. Never would I have dreamed he'd do what he did. Abuse our son physically and mentally. Use his talents for his own gain. Suck up everything Nathan thought was worth living before he was old enough to understand why. For some reason I thought Lucas would change everything. That his father would love a new child enough to break through the shell of him that I didn't understand. Or that a father would be to busy with two sons to torment either one. But Dan didn't change at all. He didn't even attempt to fit Lucas into his life. Lucas, in his opinion, was purely my responsibility," explained Karen.

Haley nodded slowly, trying to absorb the wealth of information she'd just received.

"I guess by this point it was about 1984, and I was a mother of two and no longer in love with Dan. that Royal died. And for the first time since my marriage, Keith came back to town to take over the business." At this point Karen's face, which had been somber, morphed into a slight smile. "Keith immediately saw how Dan treated our sons. Hoping to make him jealous enough to re-enter their lives, Keith started fathering them as best he could. It didn't work, really. Lucas has always seen Keith as his father. After about a year of this, I'd had enough. I was in love with Keith. He was in love with me, in love with our boys. After a lot of arguments, a lot of needling, Dan agreed to divorce."

"When was the last time you saw him?" asked Haley in surprise.

"1986. February 17th, 1986. The day he died."

Haley, who had been viewing the story as a miraculous one of finding love where you expect it least, was surprised. She'd imagined Dan and Karen divorcing and Dan disappearing off to never bother them again. This was much more complicated.

"It was a genetic heart problem that they didn't spot fast enough. He had a massive heart attack and died very suddenly. Suddenly instead of being a divorce, I was forced to be a grieving widow. Everyone in Manhattan who mattered knew that our marriage wasn't real, but I had to mourn anyway. It was hard, especially on Nathan. Keith and I had been planning to go to Europe together under the façade of a business trip to get married, but instead he had to go alone. He was gone for a year. When he came back, he hadn't fallen out of love with me like I'd thought. He wanted to get married. He said he was thinking of permanently relocating to start a new branch of the business, and he would only reconsider if I'd reconsider him, give him another chance. I agreed, of course. We eloped a few weeks later." Karen smiled.

"That's great," said Haley.

"It really was. Just a year or so later I decided I wanted our family to be a whole family, not two halves, so I got pregnant with Ryan. She immediately formed a bond with Nathan, who was always a bit of the odd man out. She brought us together. I got pregnant again a little over a year later, and we had Leigh. Then I guess we lived happily ever after," said Karen.

"That's amazing. It's like a book, or something. I don't think my parents were nearly that interesting," said Haley. Karen laughed and folded her napkin over her knee as the food arrived.

"Maybe not. But I have a strong feeling that you will be."

* * *

An hour and a half later, exhausted yet fulfilled, Haley made her way back to the hotel. Nathan was lying on his side in the bed, watching the TV in the corner. He turned it off as he saw her, and she went to lie on the bed by him, facing him.

"How was it?" he asked. She leaned forward and kissed him gently, a kiss that she broke away from as passion began to fuel it.

"It was great. I learned a lot," she said.

"Oh, yeah?" asked Nathan, laughing.

"Yes. I think it's incredible, how perfectly you've turned out after such a dysfunctional childhood," said Haley sincerely. Nathan looked up, his cobalt eyes staring into hers.

"Baby, that's not how I was raised. All that I owe to you," he said, moving into another kiss, this one that she didn't break away from.


	36. Just As Needed

Chapter Thirty-Six: Just As Needed

_Author's note: This is not the end. This is a transition chapter. Soon everything will be changing again._

* * *

Mildly disgusted with herself, Haley impatiently tapped her fingers on the desk in front of her. She realized that once again she'd become one of those girls who were at a loss without their boyfriends.

Nathan and Lucas had gone to drive Leigh, Karen, Keith and Ryan to the airport. After an emotional parting with Ryan, Haley knew she had a whole day to fill and nothing to fill it with.

"Hey," came a low voice from the door. Haley turned her attention gratefully to it.

"Peyton. Come in," she said, her voice somewhat cold.

"How are you doing? We haven't talked since the hospital," she said.

"Peyt, we haven't talked since June. But I'm great," she said.

"I'm sorry. It just got so hard, with you and Brooke falling in love, then Jake admitting his feelings. It was so much safer with Davis somehow. There's more to her than you ever saw," said Peyton.

"I don't want you to feel estranged," said Haley.

"I don't want to either," she replied.

"I'm going to miss you. So much. And Brooke, and even Nathan," said Haley.

"Nathan loves you. He isn't letting you go," promised Peyton.

"I know. I need both of you though," said Haley softly. Shyly she put her arms around her best friend, missing the days when it had all been so simple. Feeling complete for the first time since her original estrangement, Peyton hugged her back.

Haley's eyes fell on the pictures stuck to Peyton's mirror, and she once again marveled at how much everything had changed in that one short summer. No more Chris and Haley, no more Brooke and her hookups, no more Jake and his endless brooding.

Brooke sensed the wistful mood of the room as soon as she stepped into it, and just as quickly decided to rectify it.

"Guys, it's our last summer holidays before I have to become a soccer mom, our last day before I have to jet off to LA _again_, and you two are having a love fest in your bedroom? We need to get out of her," she said. Haley looked up and smiled.

"I don't want to go out. None of us have any need to hook up any more. There's nowhere we haven't been. Let's buy junk food and rent movies and cumulate our beauty supplies and have a real girl's night," suggested Haley. Brooke reflected on the sense of queasiness that followed her everywhere. Peyton reflected on how the three of them would soon be indefinitely split.

"Can we watch _Cruel Intentions_ again?" asked Brooke, breaking the long silence.

* * *

An hour and a half later the three girls were still on the bed in Peyton's room, now dressed in their pajamas, eating junk food and steadily working through the supply of magazines that Brooke had bought for the long plane ride from LA.

"So what do we think of this Ryan? Do we trust her?" asked Brooke. Haley looked up in surprise. The idea of not trusting Ryan Scott had never occurred to her.

"Well it seems severely doubtful she'll ever go after either of our boyfriends, she's a nice kid, she's honest, she is in no way backstabbing, and pretty damn innocent. All of these things added up mean that she's far more trustworthy than we are," said Haley.

"She's cool," agreed Peyton.

"She doesn't like me, I don't think. Neither does Karen," pouted Brooke.

"Could be because I went to lunch with her and instead of waiting for her to suggest you come along, you bolted so she wouldn't have the chance to. But the whole pregnancy issue's got to be a tough one," said Haley.

"We had absolutely no idea what to tell them, especially after Luke filled me in on the whole deal with Dan and Keith and all that. So we're kind of hoping they accidentally find out through tabloids," said Brook sheepishly. Haley knocked her over the head with a pillow, and she quickly hit back. As the girls began to actively pillow fight, Peyton's mind flashed to a similar scene. One with Davis.

She shook the thought quickly out of her head again.

"So," said Brooke eventually, bored by their antics. "Did it hurt?"

Haley looked up in confusion. Looking between her two friends, she could tell quickly that she was the only one lost. Comprehension drew on her.

"No! I mean, we haven't," she said blushingly.

"Seriously? Nathan and you are so hot for each other," said Brooke.

"Brooke, lay off her. We haven't, either," said Peyton.

"Yeah, but you _have_. Haley _hasn't._ She needs to get laid," said Brooke decidedly.

"Hey! I think Haley should decide when Haley gets laid. I'm not ready," she said uncomfortably.

"Are you still up for that waiting for marriage thing?" questioned Brooke.

"I don't know. I want to, but I still don't know how much I can trust Nathan. I think he loves me, but he doesn't know how to handle it. He's so immature. I don't really feel like I can trust him yet."

Brooke frowned. It had been about two weeks since the original hookup, and now Haley was already having doubts?

"I think you can. He went through a lot of crap just to be with you," said Peyton.

"Why haven't you?" asked Haley.

"I don't know. Our whole relationship is exactly normal. We've been asexually together for years, it's hard to just jump into that even when we know we both want it," said Peyton.

"I've never found it hard to get into it," said Brooke, smirking.

"What made you decide to sleep with Lucas so early on?" asked Haley.

"Honestly? At the time, because he was hot. I'm in love with him now, but I never meant for it to turn out like that. Part of me wishes he'd never forgiven me, Sometimes he just looks so resentful," said Brooke wistfully.

"Has it ever occurred to you that it could be Lucas'?" asked Haley.

"Every day. But either way someone's going to get hurt," prophesized Brooke, abandoning the magazine she'd been reading in favour of staring in to space.

* * *

Lucas Scott smiled as he entered Peyton's bedroom to find the three girls curled up together asleep, bodies vaguely linked. He didn't want to disturb them. Part of him wanted to curl up next to his girlfriend and stay forever where she was happy.

She stirred as he walked over and tucked her hair behind her ear. She smiled as she caught sight of his own loving face.

"Hey baby. Already?" she asked.

"Sadly. Want to say goodbye? Flight's in two hours," he said.

"No. We took care of it last night. Let's go," she said reluctantly. She squeezed Haley's hand lightly as she left.

Because all good things must come to an end.


	37. Strike a Spark

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Strike a Spark

* * *

Author's note: You guys have been amazing with the reviews, thanks so much for that. I'm almost at 400. So cool.

* * *

Lucas frowned as he stared into his darkened bedroom. With the lights dimmed and his tall frame leaned against the doorframe, it was barely possible to distinguish him from the darkness.

Brooke was sleeping on the bed. She'd been sleeping for what had seemed like days to him, and showed no signs of awakening into her normal self. She'd long outslept the jet lag, her pregnancy tiredness. Now all he could assume was that she had no life in her.

Lucas silently shut the door to the bedroom and walked down the hall to where a portable phone was resting. He sighed before he picked it up and dialed a memorized number. In the past he'd never dream of going out of his way to talk to his brother about romance, but in the past they'd never been far apart enough to have to resort to the phone.

"Brooke?" said a voice excitedly into the phone as soon as it picked up. Lucas raised an eyebrow, surprised that Haley was there.

"No, this is Lucas. Is Nathan around?" he asked awkwardly.

"Uh yeah, I'll go find him. How're you guys doing?" she asked.

"Good. You too?"

"Yeah. Here's Nathan."

"Hey Luke," said Nathan expectantly.

"Hey bro. Is she there all the time now?" asked Lucas.

"For a lot of it. What's up?" he asked. Lucas hesitated.

"It's Brooke. She's been kind of less than herself," he said.

"Are you sure it's me you want to be talking to this about? Haley's still in the other room…"

"No, it's okay. What'd you do when Davis was in a bad mood?" asked Lucas.

"Davis Ryan was an android. It didn't make much of a difference," said Nathan.

"Come on, work with me here. Got anything?" he asked.

"When was the last time you had sex?" asked Nathan bluntly.

"Long enough."

"Work on that, I guess? At least it's a way for you to get close to her again," said Nathan.

"It seems kind of cold."

"Spin the romance angle," suggested Nathan.

"Are you taking your own advice?"

"On the sex thing? Not remotely. But I do have to do something romantic, and soon. She's expecting me to keep sweeping me off her feet, and she has to go away soon," said Nathan, looking with a smile at his girlfriend.

"Do something in a park. Girls love parks. Oh, I have to go. Look like mine's stirring," said Lucas, hurriedly dropping the phone and running to the bedroom.

* * *

Haley snuggled up closer to Nathan as he came into the living room and sat down on the couch beside her. He put his arm around her and inhaled the scent of her hair. 

"What did Luke want?" she asked.

"He's worried about Brooke," said Nathan.

"She loves him," said Haley, seeming convinced that this was enough. He kissed the top of her head.

"He loves her, too. I don't think I knew that before today."

* * *

"Feeling better?" asked Lucas as Brooke sat at their kitchen table halfheartedly sipping at a cup of coffee. She smiled her dimpled smile, the smile that he hadn't seen in days. His heart lifted. 

"I'm fine. Just tired. Pregnancy thing, I guess," she said innocently. He knew this wasn't true. She even knew it wasn't true.

"Why don't you go out? Buy something. Have fun," he suggested, pulling his credit card out of his pocket and handing it to her.

"Thanks," she said softly, her green eyes shining.

* * *

Haley took a steadying breath as she taped closed yet another cardboard box. It was the fourth of the morning, and she didn't know how much more she could handle. Packing up her life was harder than she ever could have imagined. 

Her heart panged slightly as her eyes fell on her mirror and she recognized her next task.

Sitting cross legged on her desk chair, she faced her vanity mirror. Taped around the edges were pictures of her and her friends, dating from that very summer back to the third grade. Haley reached forward and pulled down the first one her fingers made contact with. Her and Chris at their ninth grade homecoming. That was an easy memory to be rid off.

Peyton and Jake playing at the River Court came down next. This was more painful.

Haley forced herself into denial when the third picture came down. The four of them. The only four that mattered. The three others she'd love more than any man unto the end of the world.

She couldn't make herself press the photo into a scrapbook, or throw it out. She let it fall to the floor and disappear behind the dresser. This was an easier strategy.

Brooke and Haley at the school's annual carnival, smeared with cotton candy, fell to the floor and ceased to exist.

The three girls, posing in their cheerleading uniforms, fell face down onto the vanity.

Peyton and Haley, dancing at Brooke's Sweet Sixteen, stopped dancing for the first time in years and were laid to rest.

Haley angrily grabbed another of Chris and ripped it into shreds, immediately regretting letting him ruin whatever beautiful moment the photograph had captured.

Brooke, in the midst of a middle school experiment with hair dye, fell next. Followed quickly by Jake with his arms around Haley and Peyton.

Looking up in horror, Haley realized there were no more pictures. Only her face, her fake blonde hair. All that she'd never let herself see. She buried her face into her knees and sobbed inaudibly.

"Haley?" came a pannicked voice from the door. Suddenly NAthan was on his knees beside her, his loving arms around her, his lips kissing away her tears.

"It's like it never happened," she said, when she could finally speak.

"What did?" asked Nathan in confusion. Of course he didn't know. He'd never the chance to see it all happen.

"I can't let them go," she sobbed.

"You used to have pictures," he said in slow realiztion. Shaky fingers lifted the sole photo that had dropped on the vanity: Brooke, Peyton and Haley cheerleading. He smiled at their matching, perky hair, the Ns tattoed on their cheeks.

"It's stupid. I never even liked cheerleading. It's just..." NAthan stuided the picture. It was small, not of normal photograph sized. On impulse, he pulled his leather wallet out of his pocket and slipped the photograph into the empty plastic slot.

"Look. I'll keep it here. And as long as I have it, you know that at the very least, _I'll_ never let go of you," he said emphatically.

* * *

Brooke dropped her shopping on the ground near the door and headed to the kitchen. Pulling a water bottle out of the fridge, the lamented the unbearable, undending heat that only stopped in the closed confines of their well air conditioned apartment. 

It hardly seemed possible that all the wanted to do was to bury herself under the covers and sleep until morning.

She paused in the doorway. Something was wrong but her senses, dulled for so long, did not immediately pick up on it. First the vaguely flickering lights came to her. Candles. Lighted all around the bedroom, making their intoxicating smell. Spread across the bed were red rose petals (the red roses were her favourite), and draped across her pillow was one long stemmed rose.

He appeared behind her and brushed a soft kiss onto her neck. She took a shakey breath. He was real. He was there. He was forever.

"Thank you," she whispered. Though he couldn't see her face, he could sense the salty tears spilling out of her eyes. It was wrong, Brooke Davis crying so much.

"I wasn't trying to make you sad," he said. Sensing his confusion, she spun around and looped her arms around his neck.

"Don't worry. You could never make me sad," she promised, kissing him and letting him carry her to the bed.


	38. Penultimate

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Penultimate

* * *

Author's note: Lately I have received some reviews with questions or helpful suggestions. Which is great. But if you review anonomously and ask something, or offer help, it's impossible for me to get back to you if you don't leave an email adress. Please, leave one! I'll email you back, I promise. And not to put you on the spot, but this has happened to two people that I've been able to find in my reviews-"libberty belle" and "maddie". I'd love to answer both your queries.

* * *

Haley let her hands drop to her sides, unused to having nothing to do with them. Her room was in boxes. Her still made bed stuck out in a sea of cardboard. She sank to the floor, taking in the sight of it.

"See now that wasn't so hard, was it?" asked Nathan, taping up the last box with a satisfied smile. She scowled darkly at him. Suspecting that she'd break down again if left to do it by herself, he'd spent the entire day packing with her.

"It's so weird. I don't want to sleep here," she said, shuddering slightly.

"You could sleep at my place," he suggested, regretting it immediately. He'd promised himself he wouldn't pressure her, but it was harder than he ever could have imagined.

"I'll survive here," she said, looking down. Part of her couldn't understand why she was hesitating. She wanted him. He wanted her. He loved her.

"I'd expect nothing less," he said. Walking over to her, he offered his hand to pull her up.

"Let's go out. To celebrate," she suggested.

"Where?" he asked.

"Party at Teresa's. Peyton and Jake are going. It's the last party before we go off to school," she said. She frowned. Somehow she'd walked right into another gray area. The concept of her going away to school, and his return to his home, was one they never discussed.

"Sounds good. Partying with high school girls, I'm up for it," he joked. He frowned, mirroring her own face. He didn't like mentioning their age gap.

"As long as it's just this high school girl you're partying with," she said, hooking a hand around his neck to pull him down for a kiss.

* * *

Teresa flung her arms around Peyton and Haley as they walked in the door to her home, finding it hard to believe that her party warranted members of the elite class. The brunette winked at Jake, standing behind them, but found herself unable to be seductive before Nathan Scott. 

Peyton rolled her eyes in exasperation before grabbing Haley's hand and tugging her to the dance floor. Nathan coolly grabbed a beer from the cooler and became a pair of eyes, watching the two girls dance against each other.

Jake looked between Peyton and Nathan. Dancing had never been his thing. But he'd never managed to keep a conversation with the older, often crude boyfriend of his friend. In relief, he spotted some of his basketball friends and went over to join them while Nathan was swallowed in a crowd of drunken teenagers.

Haley relaxed and let the flow of the music consume her. Never one to feel comfortable dancing in a crowd, she was glad to have Peyton's reassuring presence. Haley noticed her boyfriend in the crowd of girls and sent him a covert, coyly seductive glance.

Nathan hadn't had any problem watching his girlfriend dance with her best friend. He was forced to admit that it was actually something of a turn on. But it wasn't only him. The two beautiful girls, dancing close together, occasionally touching, were noticed by a tall blonde guy, one they immediately recognized and welcomed. A friend. Nathan forced himself to swallow his pride.

As the blonde man made a remark that made Haley blush, Nathan's frown deepened. He remembered how much he used to make her blush. How fascinating they used to be to each other. With new resolve growing inside of him, he headed toward her on the dance floor.

Haley's gasp of surprise was barely audible as he reached her and gently pulled her away from Peyton and the blonde boy, and toward him. Compelled by his tight grasp on her waist, Haley danced in closer to him until all her curves pressed against his as she moved rhythmically.

He put his arms around her again, willing them to become one being. Wishing for things he knew he could never take from her, wishing for what he'd never deserve. As the music changed and a slow song came on, their movements slowed but they didn't separate. She put her arms around his neck and he rested his chin on the top of her head.

"I don't think I can leave you," he admitted. Over his shoulder, Haley could see Jake and Peyton dancing, with no fear of separation.

"You're not. I'm leaving you, remember?" Haley had to joke. To admit that the situation was a serious one broke her heart.

"Can you come to LA at Christmas?" he asked.

"Christmas is a long way away," she said comfortingly.

"Not compared to how long our lives will be." They fell silent. It was hard on both of them. It occurred to Haley that she could have started going out with Nathan when she'd originally wanted to and they could have had a whole other month to be together in.

Haley tilted her head back and met his eyes, and suddenly he was kissing her. Kissing her longingly and desperately, afraid to tear himself away. Afraid he wouldn't be able to restrain himself, afraid that time apart would change her. She let herself get lost in his eyes, his hands, his lips. Everything that had become so dear to her, willing the night to last their entire lives.

In a flash, Nathan recalled all he'd went through for her. All the humiliation, all the put-downs, all the pain. He'd do it again in a heart beat. Never again had he made himself so available for a woman, never again would he have to.

Haley thought back to her life at the beginning of the summer. Her relationship with Chris, so perfect in even her eyes. And of her friends: Jake, ever heart broken, misunderstood Peyton, perky yet unsatisfied Brooke. She was satisfied now. Jake's broken heart was mended, Peyton was finally understood. But a summer of pain seemed to lead to yet more hurt for Haley, in the long run. She slid open her lips and relished the taste of him.

She saw the sparks she was so sure had passed between Peyton and Lucas, and what she'd seen as Nathan's love for Davis, his love for her. Haley remembered Brooke's intent to use Lucas' as her summer boy toy. Jake screwing Davis, which was a memory perhaps best forgotten.

"This has been one screwed up summer," she said, half to herself.

"Tell me about it," he said, breaking away from their kiss. She smiled.

They didn't much time. Soon it would have to be over. But they had what mattered most.

They had tonight.

* * *

In a different time, on the other side of the country, Brooke hurried back into her apartment, eager to spend more time with Lucas, who she was beginning to appreciate again. 

"Luke?" she called into the lifeless apartment. She frowned as she walked in and didn't see him anymore. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled. Somehow, she knew something was wrong.

She automatically pushed the flashing red light on the answering machine, ready to hear a friendly message from Leigh, or perhaps one from a particularly crazed fan. But as the message played, she finally began to understand.

"Brooke, Lucas, this is Haley. Um, I don't know how to tell you this, but Nathan got a message from Keith's lawyer last night. They both died in a car accident, and Nathan's going to New York tomorrow to sort things out."

As Brooke gasped in horror her life, laid out so perfectly in front of her, suddenly began to unravel.


	39. Nothing Left of Me

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Nothing Left of Me

_

* * *

_

Author's note: Just to clarify: Ryan called Haley, who went to Nathan's, and in turn told Lucas and Brooke about Keith and Karen. And last chapter cut off, but you didn't miss anything, don't worry. Sorry 'bout that.

* * *

Haley tapped her fingers across the steering wheel as she waited for the light to turn green, impatient with it yet wishing she never had to reach her destination. 

They had been doing so well. After their night at the party, they'd decided not to focus on their imminent parting and instead focus on being together.

All this ceased to matter after the headline in the newspaper that morning-that Keith and Karen Scott had died in a car crash the day before.

The first emotion Haley had felt had been sorrow for herself, grief at the parting of a man and woman she'd known so briefly. The second, stronger emotion, was compassion for Nathan, who'd need her more than ever. Who's life would suddenly be drastically different from hers.

She walked unceremoniously into his room, not waiting for him to answer her knock. He met her in the small entrance. She dropped her bag to the floor and looked up at him mutely. He hadn't shaved, and the affect plus his slightly reddened eyes (from alcohol? From tears?) made him look infinitely older.

"Sweetie…" she whispered, her compassion overriding all else. She put her arms around him and held him close to her.

"Haley." His tone was distant.

"Are Leigh and Ryan okay?" she asked. She felt his nod. Guessing that he wasn't alert enough to do so, she led him into the bedroom and sat opposite him on the bed.

Under her watchful gaze, Nathan finally drifted off into sleep. In hours in which she didn't stir he slept deeply, comforted by her even if they weren't touching, weren't even both awake. Her presence was enough.

Haley smiled softly down at him when he slowly awakened. He smiled back, automatically comforted by her warm brown eyes, before remembering the night before. His smiled dropped.

"Hey. How're you feeling?" she asked gently, taking his hand and squeezing it. He didn't respond. There weren't words.

"That's okay. I'll talk. I'm so sorry, baby," she said. He sat up, put his feet solidly on the ground, and rubbed his eyes. This made him less pathetic, but no less lost.

"I can call Brooke and Lucas if you want. Get them to go to New York. And I can call the airlines. And I can go with you," she offered.

"Call Brooke and Lucas. But you should stay. I need to be able to focus on Ryan and Leigh," he said. Haley was so surprised by his speaking that she almost didn't hear the words, but she went off to find the phone, slightly hurt.

She forced herself to swallow her feelings when she arrived back, determined to help him.

"I just called them, they booked the next flight out," she said softly. He nodded, not looking at her.

"Luke wasn't around so I had to leave a message, but Brooke called back and we talked and she said she'd tell him. I think he'd take it better from her," said Haley optimistically.

"Great," mumbled Nathan, obviously not listening.

"I tried to get through to Ryan, but she's not answering the phone. Do you think they'll be okay by themselves?" asked Haley.

"Ryan's only a little younger than you, Haley."

This stung. Haley knew for a fact that Nathan saw Ryan unalterably as a child.

"She'll be fine. I'm more worried about you." Haley hesitantly walked over to him and sat by him on the bed.

He looked up at her as she joined him and put a careful hand on his knee. He was only wearing his boxers and a wife beater. She was more sufficiently clad.

"I need you to know I'm here for you, Nathan. I want to help you. I'll do whatever I can, whatever will make you feel better." Her eyes were wide and beseeching. He never could resist her eyes.

"Anything," she promised softly.

"I want you," said Nathan simply. Haley looked up at him.

"You've always had me."

Nathan leaned forward and kissed her softly. Letting the pain of the day wash away from her, she clasped a hand around his neck and leaned into the kiss. Slowly his hands progressed to her waist, and he swung her down onto the bed underneath him.

She willingly unbuttoned her shirt as his kissed slid down her neck. She remembered the first time his lips had touched her t here, but quickly forced the memory out.

As she arched her body toward him, he undid her bra and finally had access to what he'd so long been denied of. Her nipples hardened as his lips moved to her breast.

Nathan was slow, and he was gentle. He appreciated her innocence, he took it into account. But it didn't mean he wasn't intrusive. Wasn't taking advantage.

It didn't make it right.

After another moment, a moment in which his motive became very clear, she shoved him off of her and redid her bra.

"I'm sorry."

Nathan looked away from her.

"I'm sorry. I want to help you, but… If we had, I don't think I would have been able to look myself straight in the eye, ever again. It would have been wrong, Nathan," she said.

"Yeah. It's not big deal," he said lightly. She looked at him, her almost lover, so obviously full of pain.

"Do you want me to stay? Or we could go out for a walk or something," said Haley.

"No, you can go. It's getting late, and I know you have to meet Peyton."

"It doesn't matter," she said.

"Just go, Haley," said Nathan firmly.

Haley retreated from the apartment, hurt and ashamed. Part of her wished she'd gone through with it. Part of her even wanted it. All of her knew he needed it, and even that he wasn't above getting it elsewhere. She made a noise of frustration before taking off at a run down the hall, terrified he'd follow her, yet terrified he wouldn't.

Nathan dropped back down onto the bed after she'd left. Shame wasn't a feeling he needed, on top of the guilt, on top of his bottomless pain. He frowned as he pictured the face his mother would make, if she'd known what he was thinking of doing. He shut his eyes in desperate attempt to bore the image out.

He remembered the hope that had filled his heart after his mother had married his uncle and started an all new family, stronger and better than before. He'd always doubted it could last, that they could be this happy always, but he'd overcome his doubt. Now he knew that he had been right.

They couldn't always be happy.

Nathan didn't know how he could conceivably comfort his sisters, when he needed so much comfort himself. He didn't know how he could be a parent when he needed so desperately to be a child, just this once.

These thoughts tortured him, but eventually they lulled him back to sleep.

Haley drove through the silent streets of Tree Hill, unable to go home, or to Peyton's, or anywhere they'd comfort her when she didn't deserve comfort. Nathan deserved comfort.

Suddenly she found herself back at the hotel. She let her feet lead her through the lobby, up the elevator, and down the hall.

"Nathan?" she called out into the room, suddenly ready for him. She dropped her purse in the living room, and cautiously shed her shirt as well. "Nathan?"

She stopped in his doorway. He wasn't brooding on his bed, or staring miserably out the window like she'd expected him to be. He was fast asleep, looking innocent and endearing in his slumber. She smiled.

Haley noiselessly tucked herself into his arms, spooning against him. Tucking the sheet around herself, she felt his arms automatically tighten against her as she drifted off to sleep as well.

* * *

Nathan hadn't awoken when Haley had joined him in bed, but he wasn't surprised when he woke up next to her. Subconsciously, he'd known the entire time.

He loosened his grasp on her, wondering how she'd been able to sleep when he'd held on to her so tightly, ever as afraid as ever that he could lose her. The fact that she was his was always slightly unbelievable to him.

After another moment, he noted that she was wearing nothing but her jeans and a bra. She'd obviously come to finish what they'd started. Nathan was glad he'd been asleep.

Not because he didn't want her. Because he did, feverishly, daily. But because he wouldn't be able to look at himself, either. He couldn't let himself use her like he'd used Davis, and so many girls before her. Haley had to be more than that. Haley was everything.

He wished again that she was older. So that they could be together in the way he sometimes wished they could be. So they could start being together forever. She wasn't ready for it. But he was ready for her.

Haley stirred slightly in her sleep, and Nathan realized that she had noticed the lack of his embrace. He wanted to hold her again. He wanted to put his arms around her and stay with her always. But he couldn't.

Sighing, Nathan brushed one kiss on to her forehead before grabbing the bag he'd hurriedly packed and exiting the hotel room.


	40. Get Over You

Chapter Forty: Get Over You

Nathan's thoughts had been on Haley for the entire plane trip, on how he would make it up to her as soon as he could get back to Tree Hill, but after his plane landed in New York his thoughts shifted irrevocably to his parents.

A company car picked him up and drove him to his parent's lavish town house. He walked briskly up the stone steps, thinking guiltily about how long it had been since he'd entered the house. He'd never imagined, on his last visit, that it had been his last chance to visit them.

The house was empty, cold, and dark. It had always been too large to be cozy or endearing, but never had it been this lifeless. His footsteps echoed loudly on the marble steps as he walked up the sweeping staircase. Eyes haunted him as he walked down the corridor-lining the walls were pictures of long dead ancestors, wealthy Scotts who'd kept the purebred line running. As he neared the end of the hallway he saw the most recent picture-him, his three siblings, his parents. He shivered and looked away.

Cautiously Nathan pushed open the door to Ryan's room. In the darkness, his eyes slowly found the indistinct shapes of two tall, slim blonde girls, huddled together on the four poster bed. Slowly, reluctantly, he went to join them.

As Nathan sat on the bed, Ryan and Leigh both fell into his arms. The room, which had been so silent, was suddenly filled with sobs.

"Shh. It'll be okay," he promised, his words empty, before he too, for the first time since his childhood, burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs.

Hours later, after he'd tucked them in to Ryan's wide bed, he went downstairs. He didn't want to see his own long abandoned room, or Karen and Keith's. He had half a mind to rid the house of anything that reminded him of them. As he heard one of the girls cry out in the midst of a nightmare, in pain and fear, his resolve reaffirmed itself. But first he went to check the messages on the machine. Afterward, he was generally glad that he had.

"_Nathan Scott this is Kenneth Ricketts, your parent's attorney. I'd like to meet with you to discuss your stepfather's will and the future of the company. If you could please contact me at…"_

Nathan clicked off the machine again and rubbed his temple in annoyance. He knew he could deal with unimaginable pain, with supporting his little sister's. But he didn't know if he could handle the lawyers.

* * *

Nathan left the house two hours later, after Lucas and Brooke had arrived to take care of Ryan and Leigh. Dressed in a suit and dress shoes, he looked infinitely older than the Nathan Haley had known.

He looked apprehensively across the desk as he sat down. The tall, stringy lawyer looked at him gravely.

"First of all, I'd like to know who's going to be taking care of Ryan and Leigh," said Nathan, sounding firmer than he felt inside. Kenneth Ricketts sighed and looked down at the document in front of him.

"Let's start from the top. Keith Scott had many assets, the bulk of which he left to you. He set up trust funds for the respective educations of Ryan and Leigh Scott, also to be used for their own support. Lucas Scott will be provided with an allowance, of an amount that you will determine. The house in New York and the house in the Hamptons have both been left to you, as has most of his personal account on the stipulation that you take over the company and run it," began Kenneth.

"So I get everything?" said Nathan in disbelief. Everything he'd spent his whole life running from. The multi-million dollar company, the unfeeling house, the millions in the bank.

"In addition to the guardianship of your younger sisters," added Kenneth. Nathan's eyes widened again. He'd expected the girls to go to a relative. It had never occurred to him that he'd suddenly have responsibilities in his life.

"I'm twenty-four," he said in disbelief.

"Both your parents state clearly that it was their wish. Of course it's your prerogative, but if you do turn it down you will be turning down the company and your share of the fortune," said Kenneth. Nathan scowled.

"If I decide not to be their guardian it would be for their own well being, not for my own gain," said Nathan darkly.

"Do you really think they'd be better off moving out of the city, to live with a relative they barely know? Changing schools for just the last few years?"

"I'll do it. Of course I will," muttered Nathan. Kenneth nodded and said something about papers to sign. But Nathan was already gone, with only one thought on his mind:

Haley.

* * *

Nathan made himself a strong drink from his parent's liquor cabinet as soon as he got back to the house, but before he'd taken a sip he'd hurtled it against the stone fireplace and watched it shatter with a relish.

He grabbed another glass and listened to the satisfying breaking sound as it met the same fate as the first.

He needed a better way to take out his frustration. Right now, running away from all of them seemed ideal. But Ryan and Leigh needed him, and had to come first.

Nathan had never considered the fact that he wouldn't be able to return to Haley. He'd half made up his mind to follow her to Providence, knowing that he couldn't bear the distance. Now, all of it was sucked away from him.

Lucas appeared in the doorway, watching his elder brother vent mentally over his frustrations.

"How'd the meeting go?" he asked cautiously. Nathan looked up at his brother in surprise. Lucas, who had to be a man in exactly seven months. Lucas, with his stubble and spiky blonde hair.

"Fine. You got screwed. I got everything. Including them," said Nathan.

"Ry and Leigh? Shit, man," said Lucas.

"I'm going to have to leave her. I'm going to have to leave everything," said Nathan.

"Haley will understand. And what else matters? It wasn't much of a life," said Lucas. Nathan curled his fists in anger.

"Like yours is? Playing house with a girl who's kid isn't even yours? Posing in your underwear for billboards? Listening to your deep music? Partying every single night?" demanded Nathan.

"Calm down," said Lucas.

"Of course you can be calm. You can go back to LA with the woman you love and your hefty allowance and never have to get off your ass. I have to work a company I've always hated, live in an oppressive house I escaped the minute I turned eighteen and abandon the one thing I've loved more than anything else," said Nathan.

"Don't make this about Haley. This has to be about them," warned Lucas.

"Everything's about Brooke now. You shut up about her cheating on you because you weren't man enough to stand up to it and accept that she might leave. You're a family guy now, in denial that it's yours. You're pathetic, man," said Nathan.

"Right, because whining about losing the girl you spent the entire summer torturing while you throw shot glasses at the fireplace isn't remotely pathetic," said Lucas coolly. In a moment, Nathan would have been willing to find a new outlet for his anger. But Brooke, running in from another room, stepped between them.

"Guys, shut up. You have more important things to worry about," she said in disgust.

"Like what?" asked Nathan listlessly. Brooke shoved a portable phone at him.

"For starters you could call your girlfriend. She's the one getting screwed over here, obviously you two can't think of anything but your own petty lives," said Brooke, stalking out of the room. Sighing, Lucas followed her, while Nathan hesitantly dialed the familiar phone number and held the phone to his ear.


	41. Different But The Same

Chapter Forty-One: Different but the Same

Haley James was torturing herself.

She was torturing herself like she'd let him torture her all summer. When he'd get close to her without letting their bodies touch, when he'd say sexually suggestive things and watch her curb her desire. When he'd actually touch her, forcefully, without causing pain, knowing she wouldn't respond, knowing that it would eventually force her to him.

She hated that she'd let him in, let her affect her so deeply. She rewound the tape again:

"_Haley. It's me. Sorry I left without saying goodbye, but I just found out I can't come back. I have to stay here. So hopefully I'll see you around some time."_

Bastard. Degrading her back down to the level of insatiable high school girl, a passing amusement, easily left behind. Obviously it was all she'd ever been to him, all she'd ever be to anyone.

Listlessly, Haley watched the broadcast of Karen and Keith's funeral. With a few tears, she remembered the woman she'd had so little opportunity to get close to. Haley watched as Ryan, her black clothing contrasting with her blonde hair and porcelain skin, delivered a speech to the gathered crowd. She watched as a loving, protective Nathan led his sister back to her seat. She watched Brooke and Lucas, their arms lovingly around each other. She watched Leigh, her hair bleached back to blonde to honour her mother's memory.

She cried. Haley cried like she hadn't cried in years.

Haley dried her tears, her grief replaced by anger, as she watched Nathan hold a press conference for the benefit of the wide speculation over who the company would pass to. Dressed in a Versace suit with his hair styled professionally, he looked years older than he had only the day before.

Peyton hadn't quite dared to come over in the middle of her best friend's mourning period, knowing Haley needed her space, but after the funeral was over, she knew it was her duty.

Haley didn't say anything as the blonde walked in and sat down on the sofa, behind where Haley was standing. Haley remained silent for another five minutes before reacting to her friend's presence.

"Can I come to NYU with you?" asked Haley. She dropped onto the sofa beside Peyton and put her head in her best friend's lap.

"Why?" asked Peyton suspiciously, combing her fingers gently through Haley's long blonde hair.

"The academia," she said feebly.

"Of course. Baby, you have to let go," she said encouragingly.

"But I don't want to! Not even a little bit! I want to hold on. Even though he left me and broke up over the phone. I don't want to let him go," she said.

"You have to. You have to go to Brown, preferably tomorrow, and leave all this crap behind. You owe it to yourself," said Peyton.

"You get to stay with Jake," mumbled Haley.

"Jake never broke up with me on my answering machine, or left me in the morning without saying a word. It's different. You have to believe you'll be fine without him," said Peyton persuasively.

"But I'm not. I got closer to him than I ever thought possible," said Haley. Peyton raised an eyebrow that Haley couldn't see.

"How close?"

"Not quite. But almost. And I would have, too. As soon as he came back, I would have. And I know I can't talk to him, because being mad that he has to stay behind and take care of his sisters is beyond selfish. But I can't help it. I need him," she moaned.

"He needs you too. And soon or later, he's going to realize it," promised Peyton, as Haley fell silent.

* * *

They'd had so many plans.

They'd planned out a road trip. Nathan would drive and Haley would navigate, and then they'd stop for a hotel. Nathan would help her set up her dorm room to help her gain status among her peers because although he was famous for something completely superficial, he was undeniably famous. Then they would go out to dinner, to a real restaurant, after eating at fast food places on their road trip. After this, Nathan had mumbled something about getting a room, but Haley had been secretly planning on letting him stay in hers.

Peyton had suggested stopping in New York to talk to Nathan, discuss their problems, attempt to work them out. But Haley couldn't bring herself to. She couldn't bring herself down further to go back to the man who'd abandoned her so thoroughly.

Yet she'd dived back into Chris' waiting arms a dozen times or more. What, if anything, did that say about her?

She hated that he ruined so much for her. That the concept of flirting, of dating, seemed like cheating. That she was still his, even though he'd never had her. The idea giving herself to anybody, anybody but him, was preposterous.

Haley James left early in the morning the weekend before her classes were to start. The night before she and Jake and Peyton had had their goodbyes, the sad remnants of their once strong clique.

Her dorm room was ugly and bare even after she'd decorated it with her personal effects. It was a single room, connected through a common room to two other singles. She hadn't yet met the new girls. She didn't particularly care about meeting them. She'd never been that good with new people. She hoped they wouldn't recognize her as the girl with the hickey who appeared with Nathan at that awards show.

Nathan. Why did he always have to come in to everything? Why did he have to creep into her thoughts when she was so sure she'd finally shaken him off?

Haley was quite sure she was going insane. And she hated herself for it.


	42. Take My Hand Tonight

Chapter Forty-Two: Take My Hand Tonight

* * *

Author's note: Some of you have been wondering about the recent lack of brucas. We just finished something of a naley arc, and next chaper is brucas. Very brucas.

* * *

Peyton waited impatiently while the phone in her hand rang once and then twice, fully prepared to hang up immediately should Nathan answer.

"Scott Residence, Brooke speaking," finally came a voice. Peyton sighed in relief.

"Brooke, it's Peyton. How're you doing?" she asked.

"Fine. As much as possible, under the circumstances. Lucas is a wreck and Nathan wanders around looking like the living dead," she said.

"I'm sorry. How long are you guys staying?"

"A few weeks, until Nathan and the girls get their act in gear, I guess. Nathan's going to need to be working a lot to get settled in at the company, and Lucas doesn't want the girls to be alone," said Brooke.

"What's the deal with that? Haley's heartbroken but she won't go in to details."

"There aren't many. Nathan has been granted guardianship of Ryan and Leigh, and he's supposed to take over the company, and he has to do these things in New York. And he can't take a day to go down to visit the woman he supposedly loves and break up with her properly," said Brooke bitterly.

"He said that? That he loved her?" said Peyton in surprise.

"Yeah. He really does, I think. Or did. What's Haley said?"

"Almost nothing. Nothing about love, at least. She left this morning, and Jake and I are leaving this afternoon, so we'll be seeing you pretty soon," said Peyton comfortingly.

"Good. I'm trying to help, but Ryan will only talk to Nathan and Leigh would only talk to Lucas, but then he locked himself up in his bedroom and refused to talk to anyone so I'm trying to connect with her but she's a self possessed brat at the best of times…" Brooke trailed off at this point, feeling guilty about mocking a girl who'd only recently lost both her parents.

"I still can't believe that Nathan Scott of all people is living in New York and being a grown-up," said Peyton.

"I know. I kind of always thought of him as our age, you know? He went to elder parties whenever he could, with the college kids, but he hung around us so much that I kind of forgot he was in his twenties," said Brooke.

"You'd remember now. He goes around looking all serious and designerey. I actually finally understand why you used to have such a crush on him," said Brooke seriously. Peyton scoffed.

"I used to have a crush on Lucas," she reminded her.

"Right, right. Hoes over bros?" she said curiously. Peyton smiled.

"Always."

* * *

Eventually Peyton wandered outside, to where Jake was packing the last of their belongings into her car. She smiled at him. 

"What's up?" he asked. He was shirtless in the hot summer sun. He eagerly accepted the water bottle she brought out to him.

"I just talked to Brooke. Sounds like Nathan is as miserable as Haley is," said Peyton.

"You've got to feel bad for the guy," said Jake. Peyton, loyal to the core, rolled her eyes in disgust.

"I'm on Haley's side, you know that. I have to go shower, but then we should go," said Jake. Peyton raised an eyebrow.

"Who says I mind you like this?" she asked. Jake smiled.

"Okay, or a cold shower," he said, before walking into the house. Peyton smiled. He meant more to her than he had ever before, yet there were still so many things they hadn't done to each other.

* * *

Peyton half expected to see Taylor when they arrived, still emptying out the apartment, but she was quite relieved to find it empty. She quickly inspected it: besides the small kitchen, the combination dining room living room, the bathroom and the two bedrooms, there wasn't much. The walls were cream and fairly recently painted, and it was bathed in light when Peyton threw open all the windows. She smiled. It was most definitely acceptable. 

By the time night fell Peyton and Jake had lugged up all their boxes and put together the beds, but the rest was in completely disarray. They ate pizza amongst the boxes and talked about their upcoming new lives.

"Do you think I should tell Haley that Nathan said he loved her?" asked Peyton.

"It would torture her. And he's tortured her enough. You have to let her meet someone else."

"I can't. They're perfect, in their own dysfunctional way. They need to be together," moaned Peyton. She set down her plate, her disgust ruining her appetite.

"For how long? If they can't make it work, there's nothing we can do about it," said Jake reasonably.

"Forever, Jake. That's how long." Peyton looked up at him, and leaned forward, giving him a view of her cleavage. "Just like us."

Jake slowly reached for her, and she went into his arms. His lips found hers and they kissed slowly, questioningly. As she shed the shirt she was wearing, he hardened and their kissed intensified.

She unbuttoned his shirt while he slowly sat back with her on top of him, his back on the wooden floor. Almost nervous, afraid to complete what he'd wanted for so long, he unzipped her jeans and ran a finger through her.

Peyton swallowed and took a shakey breath, temporarily breaking off their kiss.

"Oh God…" she moaned, as his actions continued.

Jake didn't need more assurance. After he'd shed his own pants and boxers, he slid inside of her in one smooth motion.

* * *

Eventually, much later, they managed to make it to the bed. They made love again and again, satisfying the need that had gripped them both, for her case for the summer, in his case since the seventh grade. As he pleasured her, she felt satisfaction and pleasure as she'd never had before. As she welcomes his thrusts, Jake knew more than ever that he loved her and always would. 

After they couldn't go on any longer they stopped, curled up on the bed together, their naked bodies touching. They kissed, one more time, and he cupped her breast in his hand while her nipple hardened.

"I love you," she whispered, not making his eyes. Not having the courage to. He reached out and tilted her chin upward.

"I love you too. I always have," he promised, her voice low.

"I always will," she promised, suddenly sure of it.


	43. In To the Fire

Chapter Forty-Three: Into the Fire

With trepidation, Brooke looked sideways at Lucas. They'd recently left New York, but he had yet to get back to what he was. Brooke didn't blame him. But she wished she could help him.

She sighed, thinking of the gloominess of the house in Manhattan. Of the girls listlessly going off to prep school every day in their plaid skirts, of Nathan coming back late at night in his long black cloak, looking like the dignified business man he was becoming. Of Lucas, trying to make his sister's lives normal and failing miserably, because he himself could not be normal.

Brooke tucked her head into his shoulder as he slept, wishing she could sleep as much, to cut down on her worrying time. It would be a relief, to sink into oblivion with him. He'd been so worried about her when he'd thought she was sleeping too much. Brooke didn't even know how to worry over someone.

Part of her wished herself back in New York. The house was huge and somewhat depressing, but it was beautiful. Peyton and Jake were nearby, Haley was in visiting range. In New York she could supervise Nathan and Haley, manipulate them into getting back together as had always been her plan.

The other part of her had missed her beautiful ocean view apartment. Missed the alone time she had with the man she loved. Her Lucas. Her boyfriend? Her lover? Her partner? She never could quite determine his status to her satisfaction. Brooke's hand slid down to where she hadn't yet begun to grow. It was the wild card, it was what changed everything.

She pulled away from him as he stirred in his sleep and slowly awoke.

"Brooke, what're you doing here?" he asked.

"I didn't want you to wake up alone," she admitted. He'd gone to sleep in the early evening, and it was now almost eight.

"Thanks, baby," he said, kissing her lightly.

"No problem. Do you want to order in?" she asked.

"I was actually thinking I might go out. Want to come?"

"Like to a party?" she asked in surprise.

"Yeah, or something."

"No, you go," said Brooke, eager he was finally taking an interest in something again.

* * *

Many hours later, at three in the morning when he hadn't yet returned, she was less pleased.

Brooke frowned as he came in the door, tired but obviously not intoxicated. He looked surprised to see her still awake.

"Why are you still up?" he asked, walking toward her.

"I was waiting for you," she said in annoyance.

"Oh."

"Luke, it's three in the morning! If we're supposed to suddenly be grown-ups you can't go clubbing all night!"

"I didn't realize you were in a position to tell me what to do," he said, his voice cold. She stood, wishing she could match his height and stare directly into his eyes.

"Lucas, I'm so tired of this. If you want to mourn, mourn. Cry on my shoulder, I'd welcome it. But you need to grow up. I need you to grow up," she pleaded.

"It's not so easy, Brooke! You expect me to suddenly be a different person, and I don't know if I can ever be who you expect me to be!"

"This was your idea. I was fully prepared to have it by myself, until you came back and spewed about how we could be a family. You can't back out now," she threatened.

"I'm not. I never will. Why can't you trust me?"

"Because I still can't trust that you're truly dedicated to this," she said softly, her green eyes beseeching him. Suddenly he fell to his knees in front of her.

"Marry me."

Brooke stared down at him in shock. The thought had crossed her mind, but they'd never so much as discussed it. It always seemed like a distant idea, something to be talked about in the gray area that was "after".

"What are you on?" she demanded.

"I'm serious. I'll do anything to make you believe in me, Brooke. I love you," he promised.

"I'm not going to marry you to end an argument," she said stubbornly.

"I was hoping you would because you love me," he said. She looked down at him. He took her hand and pulled her down to the floor so they were at roughly the same height.

"I do love you. I just don't know if I can trust you."

"You can. You always can. This is what this has always been about, isn't it?" he pressed. She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss onto his lips.

"I'm eighteen," she protested, her voice feeble.

"It would have happened eventually," he said. She leaned forward and kissed him again, this time more deeply. It was this kiss that he took for his answer.

* * *

Brooke clung to Lucas in the taxi on the way to City Hall the next day, but by the time they arrived, she was calm. Serene. Prepared.

Lucas, ever her rock, smiled as he slipped the diamond onto her ring finger. He was sure of her. The day without her, when he'd left Tree Hill, had been the hardest of his life. Even after he'd gone back to discover that everything he'd feared was true, he still hadn't stopped loving her. He knew now that he never would.

Brooke slipped him a covert wink as he took her in his arms and kissed her, their first as a married couple. He smiled back, enchanted by her green eyes, the thick dark lashes that framed them. Lucas wondered if Brooke would ever stop surprising him.

As he put his arms around her and lengthened the kiss, Brooke couldn't help but wish he'd never stop. Hold her there forever, where she felt safe, prolonging the most beautiful moment of her life.

The taxi ride back to the apartment seemed much, much too long. By the time they got back they were all over each other, kissing wildly, unable to break apart even for the short elevator ride.

"I need you," he whispered into her ear, before letting a kiss fall on her neck. She blindly put her hand on him, causing him to let out a gasp of surprise and pleasure.

"Screw it," she said in annoyance. Leaning back, she firmly hit the emergency stop button and fell happily into her lover's arms.

* * *

"That wasn't exactly conventional," said Lucas hesitantly, as the elevator started again and they rode up, hastily fixing their clothing.

"Baby, we just got married. We've been dating four months and I'm eighteen. None of this is conventional," she teased. He glanced at her hurriedly buttoning her shirt over her black lacy bra, and pulled her toward him again.

"But it's good…" he said, smiling in relief as they finally reached their floor.


	44. Some People Never Learn

Chapter Forty-Four: Some People Never Learn

* * *

Authors note: Please note that the italiscized scenes are flashbacks.

* * *

Running a brush through her hair as she ran out the door, Haley made a desperate attempt to reach her class on time. Letting her feet guide her, she swerved through groups of students and teachers, hoping that she wouldn't miss her class and have to make it up later. 

When she did eventually look up and realize her surroundings, she realized that she was completely lost. Sighing in frustration, she pulled out her crumpled campus map and attempted to understand it, unsuccessful for the thousandth time.

"Need help?" asked a voice behind her. She spun around, and took notice of the boy who'd spoken to her. He was fairly tall and well built, and had medium brown hair and green eyes. He vaguely reminded her of Jake. Lovely, unthreatening Jake Jagielski. She smiled automatically.

"I think I'm late, and I'm trying to find this building. Uh, Professor Wilke's first year psychology?" she asked. He consulted the schedule for a brief moment.

"Uh, it's right there," he said, pointing to the building to the left of him. She gave him a brief smile before running off, not realizing that his eyes followed her the entire way.

Haley came out of the classroom alone, trying desperately not to think of the old days when her and Jake and Peyton and Brooke (and Chris, on the rare occasions that he'd attend class), talking and laughing, the envy of the school. She was used to everyone knowing her name.

Looking up, she was surprised and relieved to see at least one familiar face. Slowly she made her way toward the boy she'd seen before, who'd helped her find the building.

"You stalking me?" she asked flirtatiously.

"I haven't been here the entire time, I swear," he said, laughing.

"Good. And here I thought you spent all your time giving directions to corruptible freshman girls," she said.

"Only the ones that catch my eye. Seamus Foster," he said, sticking out his hand. She shook it, her mind flashing guiltily to Nathan only for a moment.

"Haley James," she said, treating him to a smile.

"So, you're a freshman. Where you from?" he asked.

"Tree Hill, North Carolina. Junior?" she guessed.

"Junior. North Carolina, huh? You look kind of familiar," said Seamus in confusion. Haley blushed.

"I kind of used to go out with Nathan Scott," she admitted.

"How's a guy supposed to top that?" he asked.

"I don't know." Haley paused and looked up at him, the only boy she'd flirted with in weeks. "But I'd love to find out."

* * *

"_You're cheating on Nathan_," came a voice from deep inside her conscience. 

"_Nathan broke up with me,"_ she argued to herself.

"_You looooove him."_

Haley shook her head in disgust. The last voice sounded alarmingly like Brooke's.

She smiled a timid smile to her roommates as she entered. There were two of them-a blonde from California, Jesse, and a brunette from Iowa, Kelsey. Haley had never bothered to bond with them and the two, suspecting that she was unwilling, had never made an effort.

"_Haley, it's Peyton. How're you doing. You know I went to visit the Scotts today, and…"_ Haley instantly deleted the message, guessing its content more or less accurately. Nathan was brooding. Nathan was miserable. Nathan had made a mistake.

Sure he head.

As soon as she turned off the machine, the phone rang and she answered it, slightly startled, hoping it wasn't Peyton.

"Tutor girl? Guess what?" came a high pitched, excited voice.

"You learned my actual name?" guessed Haley sarcastically.

"Grouchy. No. Guess what's on my left ring finger?" she said. Haley's voice immediately gained the same pitch as Brooke's.

"OH MY GOD!"

"That's the spirit!"

"Tell me everything," she demanded, dropping down into a chair.

"He just proposed and we got married, then did it in an elevator. Oh, and it's so pretty. White gold, huge diamond. Tiffany."

"'Nough said," said Haley.

"It's so incredible. I'm married. Me!" Haley smiled.

"Are you in New York?" asked Haley.

"No, we're in LA. Speaking of New York…"

"Babe, this is your happy day. Are you guys going to take a honeymoon?" asked Haley. Brooke was not easily deterred from subjects, in general, but it was hard for her to resist talking about Lucas. She cracked and began squealing incomprehensively about Venice.

* * *

Haley donned her best jeans, a short green jacket and her new leather boots to go out on her date with Seamus. She remembered the summer, when she'd never had to wear so much clothing, when she could feel the heat of Nathan's admiring stare on her body. She shivered and tied up her hair. 

Nathan loved her hair when it was down.

Jesse and Kelsey looked up in interest when the door knocked, and Haley opened it to the tall Junior. Haley wondered for the first time if her logic had truly been sound. Seamus wasn't Chris, he definitely wasn't Nathan. She'd gone along with the instant connection he seemed to feel, that which was lost on her. It seemed to fool him.

"Hey Haley," he said, looking happy to see her again. Seamus wore his emotions on his face. Nathan hid them expertly.

"Hey Seamus. This is uh Jesse and Kelsey. Let's go," she suggested, embarrassed and feeling somehow as if she were on stage in a life that wasn't hers.

"You're quiet," he observed, as they walked across campus to his car. She shrugged.

"Don't get used to it," she suggested.

"Duly noted. Want to tell me about your life? Make this less awkward?"

Nathan thrived on making her life awkward.

"Sure. I guess the most important part is my friends. I have three," she said. She paused, realizing how ridiculous this sounded. "I mean, I have more friends. Just three that I…"

"That matter. Go on."

"Yeah. Brooke's my best friend in the whole entire world and she got me into cheerleading and I love her to death, even though she's kind of crazy. And then there's Peyton, who's the moody rebellious one. And then Jake, who's Peyton's boyfriend, but he's been around since like grade five. He's awesome. Like the only boy I can trust," she said, her voice slightly bitter. She looked up guiltily at Seamus. He simply smiled.

"We've gone to school our whole lives together. We used to have a fifth, Chris, who was my boyfriend, but we broke up after five years and I guess he left town. Like I said, I was a cheerleader in high school, I was also a tutor," she said.

"What about Nathan?" he asked.

"We're on our first date and you want to hear about my ex?" she said suspiciously.

"I want to hear everything."

"Okay… Nathan and I went out last summer. His ex-girlfriend is my best friend's cousin, and they were visiting, and we just met, and… sparked, I guess. He spent a few weeks driving me crazy, but we all always knew it was going to happen. And then it did. And it was awesome. But then he had to leave," said Haley briefly.

"Davis Ryan is Brooke's cousin? I used to have the hugest crush on her," admitted Seamus. Haley scoffed.

"Don't. She's the biggest bitch ever. And maybe a bisexual," said Haley. He laughed appreciatively.

* * *

In the restaurant it was louder. And somehow easier to let her mind wander. 

"So where'd you grow up?" she asked, desperate for conversation topics. As he began to speak, she began to drift.

* * *

"_What are you doing here?" asked Nathan._

"_I haven't been able to leave, Nathan. I'm here to say what I wanted to say what I should have said in the car. We've spent too much time "almost" getting there. It's time we got there. I think it's time we gave it a more honest shot. I'm here to try again, Nathan, if you'll try with me."_

_Haley, in her memory, looked earnestly at Nathan. _

"_For real?" he said in surprise. She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it._

"_For real."_

"_Haley, I'm leaving for LA next week. And what about Chris?" he said. Haley scoffed and stood up immediately to stalk out._

_Haley was out of the room as soon as Lucas and Ryan entered it, but she paused in the hallway to listen to them:_

"_What's she mad about?" asked Lucas._

"_She uh, took something I said the wrong way. Chicks, you know," said Nathan off-handedly. Damn him. Acting like he didn't care…_

* * *

Haley zoomed out of her reverie when she realized with a start that Seamus was looking at her expectantly.

"Sorry?"

"You want a drink?" he asked. She glanced at the waiter.

"Uh, diet coke please," she said hurriedly.

"Sleeman's," said Seamus, glancing back at his order.

_

* * *

Haley vaguely heard Nathan enter the house and call out her name, but she didn't truly register him. They'd had another fight. She was taking a long, relaxing shower in attempt to negate his existence for a while._

_Shivering as her wet skin made contact with the cold air, she slipped an unsubstantial white towel around herself and ran down the hall to her bedroom. _

"_Haley?" said Nathan. He was in her bedroom, his back to her. She blushed when he turned around._

"_God, don't you knock?" she demanded, blushing as his eyes traveled her toned, drenched body and her sleek hair, erotically down her back._

"_I don't think I ever will again," he said, drinking in the sight of her._

* * *

They'd come so close that night. Part of her had wanted it so badly.

"What's your major?" she asked desperately, recognizing her complete inability to follow their conversation.

Once again, Seamus began to speak and give her opportunity to obsess.

* * *

"_Go! Go Ravens! Go, mighty Ravens!" Haley giggled as she found herself with Brooke and Peyton cheering at the River Court, watching Jake, in his Raven's jersey, oppose Nathan, in the jersey he'd worn during his brief sojourn in the NBA._

"_You can't shoot, you can't score, you will beat us Nevermore! Goooo Ravens! Hooooray!" Haley laughed out loud when Nathan easily stole the ball from Jake and made a slam dunk._

"_You're going down, Jagielski," said Nathan, when Jake stole the ball back._

"_I'm the one with my own personal cheer squad," he shot back._

"_Yeah. Traitor," he said, aiming his comment at Haley. She gasped in staged disgust._

"_I resent that!" _

"_You are kind of a traitor. Me too, he's practically my brother-in-law," admitted Brooke._

"_Look's like someone's losing his own personal cheer squad," said Nathan triumphantly. Jake's distraction caused him to block his shot and make the winning basket. Haley flew onto the court and jumped into Nathan's arms._

"_I'll be your cheer squad," she promised, kissing him._

"_You'd better." Haley giggled as he whispered an inappropriate comment in her ear. She watched Peyton run out to Jake, watched them meet in a similar manner._

_What was it with this summer, and all it's perfectness?_

* * *

That had been so lame. Why had they started cheering for a game of one on one, anyway? It made no sense.

"You know I don't exactly consider myself a witty conversationalist, but…" Haley quickly took note of the hurt expression on her date's face.

"Sorry. God Seamus, I'm so sorry. This is just so weird for me. I've never really dated like this. I have to go," she said hurriedly, picking up her purse from the floor and hurrying out the door.

Haley jumped in shock when he caught her arm and held her back as she reached the exit.

"What? Do you want me to pay?" she asked in surprise.

"I know you're still hurting. Can't you at least give me a chance?" he asked.

"Seamus, I've known you for an afternoon," she protested.

"What can I say? I fall fast," he admitted, his eyes twinkling. Haley smiled. Maybe she did owe it to him to give him a shot.

Because at the very least, she owed it to herself.


	45. Three's a Crowd

Chapter Forty-Five: Three's a Crowd

* * *

_Special Guest Star_

Marissa Davis as Davis Ryan/Shannon Davis

* * *

Peyton groaned as the sun filled their bedroom, slowly awakening her from deep sleep. She looked to her left in annoyance, only to see Jake still sleeping soundly. She poked his leg with her big toe, jerking it slightly.

"Wake up," she said, her voice slightly bitter.

"I don't have a class," he said sleepily.

"I do. You know, I have an actual room of my own. I could actually sleep there sometimes," she said. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'd much rather you didn't." Jake's voice was sleepy, but his words were true. She smiled.

"Me too. I have to go," she said reluctantly.

"Mm. Stay. I'll make you waffles," he entreated her.

"Liar. Get up with me and I'll make you cereal," she said. He laughed and agreeably swung his legs to the ground.

Peyton shivered as she walked down the busy street, wondering if she had enough time to go visit the Scotts. She rather hoped that she didn't. It was becoming more and more stressful, seeing Nathan hurt, seeing the girl's confusion. They needed someone to bring light to their lives.

Someone like Haley.

Haley hadn't called her back after her last message. Peyton knew that Haley talked to Brooke, but she suspected that besides that she'd cut herself off from her old life.

For the thousandth time, she mentally cursed Nathan Scott.

As she re-entered the apartment, she found cause to do it one more time.

"Davis?" she said in amazement.

* * *

Davis Ryan and Jake Jagielski were sitting together on a sofa, not speaking.

"Oh my God," muttered Peyton, running a hand through her blonde curls. Davis slowly stood and walked over to her.

"Peyton," she said. She smiled a half smile, and Peyton hugged her automatically.

"Davis. How are you? You just took off," she said.

"I know, I'm sorry. You go to NYU? I like your place," she said. Peyton glanced at Jake, looking severely left out.

"Thanks. I started last month, it's great. What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Oh, visiting Nathan. Ryan hates me, but Leigh didn't seem to mind," said Davis easily. Peyton almost smiled.

"Come on. Let's go for a walk," she suggested, grabbing the brunette's hand and dragging her away from her boyfriend's prying eyes.

"So Haley and Nathan actually got together?" asked Davis, as the two wandered down the street.

"Yeah. True love and all. He left her when he came here," explained Peyton.

"Poor thing. Plotting at all?" Peyton blushed.

"Little things. Brooke mentioned to me the other day that she had a date. She's moving on. So if you wanted, now would probably be opportune," said Peyton, looking down guiltily.

"Me and Nathan? Please, I'm so over that," said Davis in disgust.

"What about Jake?"

"Peyton, I don't want to hurt you." Peyton looked up at Davis, looking earnestly at her. "I just missed you."

* * *

Peyton sighed in irritation as they arrived back. Jake was nowhere in sight-it was obvious that he'd seen his ex-lover in the company of his current and had wanted no part of it.

"You want to stay? We have an extra bedroom," said Peyton.

"Just for tonight," said Davis, sounding reluctant.

"Great. You know I'd suggest dinner, but we don't actually have food in the house…" explained Peyton. Davis smiled and grabbed her purse.

"Pizza sound good right about now?"

By the time their food had arrived, Peyton had begun to worry. She kept her phone at her hip the entire time, desperate for his call.

"What's wrong?" asked Davis. Peyton frowned slightly. She couldn't get used to this newer, nice Davis.

"Oh, Jake hasn't called," said Peyton awkwardly.

"You guys are really together," she observed.

"Yeah. It happened pretty quickly after you left," she explained.

"Seems like a lot of things did."

Hours later, Peyton had fallen asleep on the couch halfway through _Pretty Woman._ Slowly, Davis eased herself up and tiptoed across the room to grab her purse.

"Where're you going?" asked Peyton in surprise, slowly awakening as she stepped on a creaky floorboard.

"Just…"

"Davis, stop being ridiculous. You can stay," said Peyton firmly.

"I've slept with your boyfriend. I've slept with your best friend's ex-boyfriend. I've slept with your other best friend's husband. There's no way I'm not going to cause trouble by staying." Peyton stared at Davis, wondering if there was anything she could say to change her mind. Only one thing occurred to her."

"Shannon, I want you to stay."

Davis looked at her in amazement. Some days, she forgot that she was Shannon Davis and not Davis Ryan. The alias she'd created for herself had become as real to her as the life she'd been born in to. Slowly she walked back to the couch and sat beside the blonde.

"Good," said Peyton sleepily, resting her head on Davis' lap. Davis slowly combed her hand through Peyton's curls, loosing herself in what never could be.

* * *

Jake silently crept into the apartment at seven in the morning, just as the sun was beginning to rise. As he walked down the hall and into their bedroom, he was surprised to see the bed unused and pristine. Sighing, he looked across the hall. He had a fairly good idea of what was to greet him.

Spread across the double bed were Davis and Peyton, touching distantly, clad in their underwear. He frowned, disgusted by his brief pleasure in the scene. Slamming the door hard on them, he left immediately.

Peyton immediately caught up to him.

"Don't, Jake. I'm not letting her come between us," she warned him. He shook off the hand she put on his elbow.

"She already has."

"No she hasn't. She never will. She's a friend. Like Haley. Why do you have to be such an idiot?" she said in annoyance.

"It's not like Haley. It's always been more."

"Jake, I love you," she promised. Slowly he turned to face her.

"I know. And I'm sorry," he said, folding her in his arms, regretting his actions as he always did whenever he came into contact with Davis Ryan.

* * *

"So I think I've caused enough damage. I'm going to go now," said Davis, her bag slung over her shoulder. Peyton looked up.

"I guess you should. But for what it's worth, I wish you could stay longer," said Peyton honestly. Davis smiled.

"Of course you do. Because there's always kind of been something between us, you know?" Davis left before Peyton could reply but even after she closed the door behind her, Peyton was still smiling.

She couldn't deny. It would be a lie. Because there always had been something there, between them.

Kind of.


	46. Tis The Season

Chapter Forty-Six: 'Tis The Season

"I think I'm going to call the travel agent today and book us tickets for New York," said Lucas. He was sitting on the couch with Brooke in front of him, writing out Christmas cards on the floor, idly playing with her dark hair.

"Why?" she asked distractedly.

"Because it's Christmas. And in New York they have actual snow," said Lucas convincingly.

Brooke frowned and dropped the pen she was using for the cards. Running her hands over the bump that had recently appeared, she once again pictured the big house in New York, and the thought of flying across the country to visit it.

By the time she pulled herself out of her reverie, Lucas had disappeared. Clutching the sofa to pull herself awkwardly upward, she followed him slowly.

"You know, we could do it here," she suggested, watching him as he began to wash the dishes.

"What?"

"Christmas. Here."

"Why? We always do it in New York," explained Lucas.

"If you hadn't yet noticed, no one's happy at the house in New York. We're happy here. We could get a ridiculously big tree. We could invite Haley," said Brooke. Lucas turned around and smiled.

"Nathan might not go for it," said Lucas.

"Ryan will, and she'll convince him. He does everything for them. You know that. And we'll invite Jake and Peyton. And pay for their air fare," she said excitedly.

"Are you doing this out of the goodness of your heart, or because you're shamelessly trying to hook up your best friend with you brother in law?" he asked suspiciously. She giggled and pulled down on the necklace around his neck.

"What do you think, silly?"

* * *

Ryan Scott dropped her school bag on the hardwood floor as she walked through the entrance hall. Slipping out of her school sweater, she put it on a table as she passed, calling out for her brother as she did so.

"Leigh?" she said desperately, into the seemingly empty space. The constant emptiness of her home always got to her.

No reassuring call came back to her. Sighing, Ryan doubled back into the kitchen and headed for the stainless steel fridge.

She pounced eagerly on the phone when it rang.

"Hello?" she said, attempting to sound calm.

"Ry? This is Brooke, is Nathan around?" came a cheery voice. Ryan frowned, her spirits dampened.

"No. I can take a message."

"Don't, it's you I want to talk to. About Christmas," explained Brooke. Ryan glanced around the dark house, and tried to think of a time it had looked less seasonal.

"Oh."

"Lucas said you guys always do it there, but I was thinking maybe you guys, and Jake and Peyton, could come out here and spend it with us," said Brooke.

"Seriously?" she said, her voice eager again. The prospect of spending Christmas tanning on a beach was more ideal than the thought of spending it with her distant little sister and her somber, brooding big brother.

"Yeah. You might have to convince Nate. You up for that?" she questioned.

"Completely. Incidentally, any other guests coming?" she said, forcing her voice to be sweet and unsuspecting.

"Think it's a bad idea?"

"No, it's genius. Uh, I think Leigh just came in. Talk to you later!" she said, hanging up the phone abruptly.

* * *

Haley shook her hair out, sending droplets of water and ice all over the room. She giggled. Since the first snowfall, it had been impossible to go outside and come back in completely dry.

"I'm going to take a shower," she said, directing her comment at the boy on her bed, recently christened her boyfriend. Seamus smiled.

"Cool. I'll be here," he said.

Haley's phone rang as she came back into the bedroom, and she dove for it.

"This is Haley's phone," she said.

"Haley? This is Brooke, I think we've met. Maybe sometime in the last thousand years," said Brooke sarcastically.

"Sorry, I've been a bad correspondent. What's up? Coming home for Christmas?" she asked, sitting down beside Seamus and brushing a brief kiss onto his lips.

"No. You're coming here," said Brooke, matter-of-factly. She frowned when Haley didn't respond, and quickly realized what was going on.

"Mm. What?" said Haley, losing herself, with effort, in his kiss.

"Christmas. Here. Christmas with the Scotts," said Brooke. This shocked Haley sufficiently.

"Brooke, I can't. I can't see…"

"And you won't. Nathan is taking the girls to Florida. We did Thanksgiving here, so the plan was to do Christmas here, but I didn't want to visit the dark mansion. Come on, Jake and Peyton are coming," whined Brooke.

"I'm a freshman, Brooke. I'm broke."

"We're footing the bill. What else is the point of marrying well?" asked Brooke. Haley smiled, and glanced briefly at Seamus.

"Brooke, I can't," she protested weakly.

"You have to. I'm all big now. And Peyton and Jake are adorable, you should see them. And we have the nicest place here. Pleeease," she begged. Haley sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I'll be there," she promised.

Later that day Peyton Sawyer received a similar phone call, one she submitted to much more easily. After all, cold and snowy New York was beginning to get to her. She didn't particularly want to spend Christmas with her family. After all, Haley, Brooke, and Jake were her family. They always had been.

She found Jake in their bedroom, sleeping off the exhaustion from his exams. Smiling, she dropped onto the bed and rolled over until she was right next to him, lying on her stomach. Peyton wondered briefly how much he'd mind spending Christmas in LA in a holiday concentrated toward hooking up an unsuspecting Haley with Nathan.

"Wake up," she whispered, her emotions catching up with her. Slowly he roused himself and ran a hand through his brown curls, feeling disoriented.

"Hey. What's up?" he asked, surprised to see her there with him.

"How do you feel about LA for Christmas?" she asked nervously.

* * *

"Okay, who's amazing?" asked Brooke of Lucas, as she wandered into the living room and encountered him sitting on a chair, reading a book.

"I'm guessing it's you," he said, taking her hand and pulling her down onto his lap.

"It's completely me. They're both coming next week. Peyton and Jake are going to be there to inject some nice normal coupledom. Ryan and Leigh can spend the entire time partying on the beach. They aren't going to know what hit them," said Brooke blissfully.

"I can't believe they don't suspect you," said Lucas.

"Please, I'm much too good for that. Do you think that accidentally assigning them to the same room would be going too far?"

Lucas raised his eyebrows in disbelief, wondering what on Earth he'd managed to get himself in to.


	47. When Does The End Appear?

Chapter Forty-Seven: When Does the End Appear?

Seamus watched Haley.

He'd never had a relationship that had come so easily. Without pain, without angst, without fear. It was simple. It was perfect.

He was falling in love with her. She tried to hide it, but he knew better. Knew that she'd never feel for him the way he needed it.

Yet he couldn't let go.

His lips twisted into a slightly cynical smile as she dropped the shirt she was folding and began to lip synch to the music coming out of her stereo. She was unlike anyone he'd ever met. Unlike anyone he was likely to ever meet.

Seamus frowned as he recalled her holiday plans. She was going to her ex-boyfriend's brother's house. How could she possibly be naïve enough not to smell the trap?

Seamus couldn't truly believe she was that naïve. And the only other option was that she craved it.

* * *

Haley watched Seamus. 

He was always watching her, analyzing her, when he thought she wasn't looking.

She was always looking.

Her brown eyes saw all. She was trying to love him, failing miserably. He knew this, she knew this. She knew he knew. He didn't know he knew he knew.

Haley shook her head in despair, wondering when her life had become so dramatic.

He was so handsome. So sweet, so predictable, so adoring. He wasn't too tall, like Chris. He wasn't ever the asshole that Nathan was so often.

Haley missed his degrading comments, his fevered touch. She couldn't stop. The memories haunted her day and night. She couldn't stop them.

She didn't want to stop them.

* * *

"Uh, a little to the left," said Brooke, staring intently at the tree that Lucas was attempting to install in the living room. He obediently tilted it in the stand. 

"No, more to the right," she said. He altered it another few inches, but her nervous frown remained. "Hmm, I don't know, maybe…"

"Brooke Scott, I swear to God…" said Lucas threateningly. She giggled innocently and backed down.

"It's perfect. Good job. By the way, do you know how glad I am that you have a good last name? I don't think I could have married you if your name was like Honzberger. Or anything ending in "ook"," she said thoughtfully. Lucas smiled.

"How's your brilliant plan going?" he asked.

"Perfect. Everyone's coming. Ryan's dropping lies right and left. Leigh is oblivious," said Brooke. Lucas smiled.

"For such an innocent, the kid's a surprisingly good liar. Are you going to cook?" asked Lucas. Brooke raised a skeptical eyebrow. Lucas smiled.

She often made him smile.

* * *

"Nathan, you packed?" asked Ryan, leaning into his study. He looked up from the papers on his desk. 

"Not yet," he said vaguely.

"You are coming," said Ryan firmly. He almost smiled. For an instant, Ryan remembered what his face looked like in an earnest smile.

"I know. Christmas is a family time," he said. Ryan frowned.

"Yes. Remember our flight's tomorrow at six," she said strictly.

"I'll be there. I promise," he said.

"Like you have a choice," she said, waving merrily before skipping off.

"And she won't be there?" he called after her, feeling pathetic.

"She's going to Tree Hill to be with her parents," said Ryan listlessly. She knew he wished she were coming. Why couldn't he know it?

* * *

Jake woke with a start to a girly, high pitched shriek the day of their flight. Grumbling in annoyance he rubbed his ear in a vain attempt to make it stop ringing before getting out of bed to go investigate the noise in the hall. 

He smiled when he saw the two blonde girls embracing each other by the door. They hadn't seen Haley in months, they rarely even talked to her.

"Haley," he said happily, walking over to them. Haley disentangled herself from Peyton to throw herself at Jake.

"Hey! God, I missed you guys so much. Your place is incredible. Very you. Can you believe how cold it is? All packed?" asked Haley, her voice eager. Peyton smiled, remembering the dark, depressed Haley she'd left behind in September.

"Yeah, we're packed. Can't wait, I've heard their place is great," said Jake, wrapping an arm casually around Peyton. Haley smiled at the gesture, glad that they at least had finally worked out their issues.

"Oops, forgot to turn off my phone. And it's Brooke. Calling to make sure I'm coming, she does it hourly," said Haley, rolling her eyes and answering her phone.

Peyton and Jake nervously exchanged glances. At every moment, everything they'd planned was so close to falling to pieces.

"Brooke, what's up? I just got to Jake and Peyton's," said Haley. Brooke smiled vaguely. It was beginning to exhaust her, keeping all her lies straight.

"Great. Saying goodbye before you leave for the airport?" asked Brooke, hanging a glass ball on the tree that had managed to fall to the floor.

"What? We're going together," said Haley in confusion.

"Oh, your flights are at the same time?" said Brooke.

"What?" Haley was growing rapidly more confused. Jake and Peyton were going with her to LA. Where Nathan would not be, and where she had an actual hope of having a good Christmas.

"Remember how they're going with Nathan and Ryan and Leigh to Florida?" asked Brooke in surprise. In an instant, Haley realized what had been going on the entire time. She snapped her phone shut and turned angrily to Jake and Peyton.

"You're setting me up?" she said in disbelief. Peyton said nothing, having no denial to say. After a moment, Haley turned and walked out, angrily slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Nathan frowned as he looked around the airport. 

Ryan saw his frown and worried, afraid he'd somehow see through their brilliant scheme. Her surprise grew as his eyes settled on a couple, sitting by themselves on hard airport seats.

"What?" she asked eventually.

"That couple, I know them, but I can't remember why," said Nathan. Ryan focused on them and tried to place them in her memory.

"I got nothing. Probably you just met them in passing," said Ryan uninterestedly. Leigh glanced over, surprising both of them by pulling her headphones out of her ears and switching off her iPod.

"They're your girlfriend's parents," she said in boredom. Nathan slowly moved toward them while Ryan's eyes grew in fear, anticipating the worst.

"Mr. and Mrs. James," he said, walking up to them with a smile.

"Oh, Nathan! It's so good to see you, so sorry about your parents," said Lydia James brightly. Nathan smiled blandly.

"Thank you. Are you picking someone up?" he asked in confusion.

"Oh no, our flight's soon. Our eldest, Vivian, is at school in Arizona and we're going out to visit her, so we'll be gone for the holidays," she said easily. Nathan frowned as he deciphered this.

"Haley's not visiting you in Tree Hill?" he said slowly. Ryan shut her eyes tightly, desperately wishing for a logical explanation to come to her.

"No, she's visiting Brooke and her husband in California," said Lydia, before turning back to the book in her lap. Nathan understood, and spared Ryan one long look before departing hurriedly.

* * *

Brooke's heart fell as she saw Peyton and Jake arrive without Haley, Leigh and Ryan arrive without Nathan, knowing she'd failed. 

"I slipped, didn't I," said Brooke unhappily, turning to Peyton. Peyton put her arms around her best friend.

"You tried your best. You look great," she said, indicating her pregnant stomach. Brooke smiled a half smile.

"Damnit, they were just so close. Why don't they get that they're meant for each other?" wondered Brooke aloud. Jake comfortingly slipped an arm around her shoulder, and she leaned in to him.

In the end, Christmas was something of a let down. Between the four of them, they managed to cook a passable dinner, and the tree was heaped with presents. But the knowledge that they'd been gathered together for the sole purpose of reuniting Haley and Nathan was somewhat disconcerting.


	48. When The Morning Came

Chapter Forty-Eight: When the Morning Came

Lucas was slightly intimidated by the snappy, short tempered Brooke that became after Christmas was over and all their guests went home. This was why when one day, just after New Years, when she left the apartment abruptly saying she'd be gone for a few days, that he didn't protest.

After flying overnight, she reached New York in the morning and rented a car to drive to Providence, the place where her best friend spent her days, the place she'd never seen.

The address scribbled on a piece of notebook paper led her to Haley's dorm room, which she burst in to, unannounced.

Haley's first reaction was so natural that it didn't surprise even the exhausted, furious Brooke. As soon as the brunette entered they hugged their shared past temporarily melting away all anger between them.

Brooke looked around the room, curious about her friend's life. As she caught sight of a man's jacket casually draped over the arm of a sofa, her anger returned.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she asked coolly.

"Oh, when you tried to trick me into hooking up with my ex again? God, I just have no idea what got into me," said Haley sarcastically.

"It's for your own good," said Brooke evenly.

"I wish you guys would stop making him into such a victim. Sure he's gone through his crap, and sure I feel for him, but you know how be broke up with me? He left me half naked on his bed without so much as a note, and then broke up with me over his answering machine. And you just expect me to jump back into his waiting arms?" demanded Haley.

"We all do," argued Brooke.

"That's crap. His arms aren't even waiting. He's made no effort to be with me since August. He's over me," said Haley.

"So? You're not over him," she said.

"You people seem to forget that I have a boyfriend! A nice, normal, functional relationship with a man!" cried Haley.

"Nice, normal, functional. Definitely sounds like the stuff of great romance," said Brooke sarcastically.

"Whereas impromptu pregnancy does?" asked Haley. Brooke flushed an angry shade of red.

"Look into my eyes and tell me that you feel the same way for Seamus that you do for Nathan," said Brooke angrily. Haley tossed her hair over her shoulder and forced herself to be calm.

"Nathan I didn't work out. I can't use him as a comparison for everything," she said, refusing to answer.

At this moment, Seamus entered. He looked with confusion between the pregnant brunette and Haley, both flashing in anger.

"Haley?" he said questioningly.

"Oh, this is the rebound guy?" asked Brooke.

"Get out," said Haley.

"Call me if you ever get out of denial," said Brooke, stalking out. Seamus raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I'm guessing that's Brooke?" he said.

"Yeah."

"Why don't I know anybody from your life?" he asked her, as she began to walk to her bedroom. She stopped.

"Seamus, don't start with me," she said tiredly.

He followed her in to the bedroom and watched as she fell onto her bed and hid her face in her knees.

"What is it with this Nathan? Why does he have so much power over you?" he asked.

"Quit it."

"Haley, I'm serious," he said.

"How much did you hear?" she asked, her voice weary. He considered her for a moment.

"Everything."

Haley stared at him for a second, irritated by his presence. She wished he'd go away and leave her to sulk. This wasn't about him, and she'd never be able to make him understand that.

"Of course I don't feel the same way for you that I did for him. You're completely different people," said Haley. For a moment, she found herself irritated by the calm look on his face. Nathan was angry, Nathan was passionate. But Seamus was safe.

"Haley, are you still in love with him?" asked Seamus.

"No, God, no. I was never in love with him. You're not a rebound, Seamus. You might even be the real thing," said Haley. Was she lying? Was she honest? Even she didn't know.

Seamus stared at her for another second. She forced herself to look into his eyes. When she'd first met him, she'd imagined their relationship as easy. Since he was nice, and available, she'd assumed they'd coast along.

"Are you in love with me?" she asked eventually.

"I don't know," said Seamus. Of course Seamus knew. At that moment, even Haley knew. Never had anyone been so transparently in love with him. Chris never had been in love with her, Nathan had held his emotions close to his chest. This was different.

"Okay," she whispered. Slowly, they moved closer to each other.

* * *

"Did Brooke put you up to it?" asked Nathan. Ryan looked up. She was sitting on her wide, four poster bed, immersed in college application leaflets.

"Yes. Everyone knew," she said. Nathan slowly came to sit by her. It was their first night back in New York, and he's just gotten home from work.

"Was she there?" he asked.

"No, she figured it out. It was a pretty crappy Christmas," admitted Ryan.

"I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have lied. I don't get it, Nathan. Why couldn't you have come, if just for our sake's?" asked Ryan shakily.

"I can't. I can't face her, I don't deserve to," he said. Ryan had never seen her brother look so tortured. Awkwardly she patted his back, briefly taking in his Italian leather shoes, the long black coat he wore over his single breasted work suit, his silk tie. This was not the Nathan Scott of the previous summer. But as Ryan caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she felt the same. Her prep school uniform, her long blonde hair, were all the same, but the depth in her eyes made her infinitely older.


	49. The End of All Things

Chapter Forty-Nine: The End of All Things

* * *

Author's note: If This was a TV show, like in my previous author's note, this would be the next season finale.

* * *

_Four Months Later_

It was past being _late_ at night. It was very, very early in the morning. The apartment was pitch black, but even still Jake had no trouble seeing in the dark.

His annoyance grew as his subconscious told him that it shouldn't have to be this hard. That he shouldn't have to worry when she was out into all hours of the night.

He shuddered as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His usually smooth face had slight stubble on it, making him look older and slightly artistic. His eyes had noticeable bags, and were slightly blood shot. He was himself at his worst, in pain that only she could bring about.

The door to their apartment slowly creaked open, and Peyton stepped in. He saw her glance around the room and blink several times, attempting to readjust her eyes to the lack of light.

"Where the hell were you?" asked Jake after a moment, unwilling to make pleasantries. Peyton jumped at his voice.

"God, what are you still doing up?" she asked.

"Waiting for you." His voice was cold.

"I went out. I would have told you, but you weren't around," she said.

"I went to visit the Scotts. They say 'hi'," he said sarcastically.

"You could have asked me along," she said reproachfully.

"Who are you kidding? You hate being there," said Jake.

"I do not."

"Yeah you do. But it doesn't even matter. God, you've been gone for hours. Don't you think I'd worry?" he demanded.

"You worry too much. Like I did last week when you took off for Providence without so much as telling me," said Peyton.

"I would have, if I'd seen you at all. And you hate seeing Seamus," reminded Jake.

"How could someone not hating seeing Seamus? He's so bland."

"I like Seamus," protested Jake, knowing he was being petty.

"You would. He's so safe. Nathan was so dangerous. You always were jealous of him," said Peyton. Jake rolled his eyes in pent up annoyance.

"I love Haley like a sister. God, why does it have to be this hard?" he questioned.

"Because you make it hard, Jake! You have to stop treating me like something you have to protect!"

"It's not just that! It's everything! We never talk, we never go anywhere together. I don't even know what's going on in your life. And I hate that," he said.

"Then do something about it. Stop brooding, stop whining. I can't take it anymore!" she said in exasperation.

"Peyton, I don't think I can do this anymore," he said, feeling disbelief at the sound of his own words. She stared at him in shock as her phone rang. Angrily she answered it and spoke in clipped sentences that Jake couldn't make any sense of.

"That girl never did have any sense of timing," she said to him, once she'd hung up. He raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Brooke's in labour."

* * *

It was perhaps a good thing that the flight they booked had only two seats left, and those spread out. Jake didn't think their already fragile relationship could handle the eight-hour flight in each other's constant company.

They ran into the hospital and quickly tracked down the nursery. Both were surprised to see Lucas, his forehead pressed up against the glass window, his hands on it at shoulder height, looking intently at something.

Peyton and Jake followed his gaze. At the exact same moment their eyes fell on a small, blue blanket wrapped bundle. A boy. A blondish, blue eyed boy.

"He's yours," said Jake in disbelief, staring at the child. Never had there been a baby so obviously Lucas', so obviously a Scott.

"I know." He sounded incredulous at his own good fortune. Peyton touched the glass timidly, amazed at the thing her best friend had created.

"He's beautiful," she whispered.

"He's going to be a heartbreak," predicted Jake.

"He is a Scott," joked Lucas, not tearing his eyes away from his son. His son. His.

"Unquestionably," came a voice behind them. All three turned to see Brooke shuffling down the hall toward them, walking slowly and awkwardly. She was slightly deflated, her brown hair was a mess, her green eyes less than sparkling, but still Brooke. Lucas ran to her and gently folded her in his arms.

"Good job, babe," he said, whispering into her hair, looking gladder than any of them had ever seen.

"We did good," she agreed, mumbling into his chest. Peyton and Jake exchanged glances, attempting to remember the last time they themselves had been so close.

Jake smiled in relief as Nathan and Ryan burst into the door at the opposite end of the hall. In a pathetic way seeing Nathan, who's love life was infinitely worse than his own, cheered him up.

"Sorry, we had to drop off Leigh at the hotel before we came, she's dead to the world. I'm guessing we missed it?" Lucas temporarily released his wife so that her brother-in-law could embrace her. Ryan ran down the hall and hugged Peyton and then Jake. Peyton gave him a pointed look over her head-one that he chose to ignore.

"So what's his name?" asked Ryan eagerly, bouncing from one foot to the other. Brooke and Lucas exchanged smiles, and once more Jake felt a wave of longing wash through him.

"Devon. Devon Scott. We argued for a long time over whether his middle name should be Jake or Nathan…" Jake smiled genuinely for the first time since he'd arrived at the hospital, and Nathan let out a short laugh. "But after everything, we decided on Keith."

"It's a good name," said Ryan decidedly, looking happily at her nephew.

"I think he's going to be a ball player," said Nathan. Lucas smiled.

"His prerogative." Nathan and Lucas exchanged significant glances, both of their minds flicking to the brief period of time occupied by Dan Scott.

"Always." Brooke leaned against her husband, exhausted by the labour. She was a nineteen-year-old mother, she realized. She felt like the subject of an after school special.

"Come on, we have to get you back in bed," said Lucas sternly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Brooke rolled her eyes and walked with him back toward her room. Ryan took one last glance at Devon and one more hug from Jake before following Nathan out, presumably to rest at their hotel.

For a time they stood together, watching the tiny blonde baby yawn and attempt to move slightly against its tight bindings. They smiled at his hat, much too large for his head, and marveled at the deep blue of his eyes whenever his lids flickered open.

"We're never going to have that," said Jake eventually. For a moment, Peyton thought he was speaking of Devon. Eventually, she realized he was talking of Brooke and Lucas.

"Yeah," she said softly, disbelievingly. She remembered months ago, promising to love him forever. She remembered her whole life, subconsciously preparing herself for him. Was there ever a time she hadn't loved him? She put her hand on his arm, but he pulled away.

"Do you want me to move out?" he asked.

"No, I will. I have some friends I can stay with," said Peyton, her eyes slowly welling with tears. She turned to him, in a desperate attempt to reach the part of him that still loved her. In desperate attempt to tell him what she should have told him every day since the fifth grade.

But he was already gone, and suddenly they were beyond any desperate attempts.


	50. Do You Believe?

Chapter Fifty: Do You Believe?

_

* * *

_

Author's note: Okay, that was the end of the last "Season" of my fanfiction. This is the season premiere. Ryan would be added to the credits (unless she was already? I kind of forget). The credits would change order-with Haley coming first, then Nathan, then Jake, then Ryan,then Peyton, then Brooke and Lucas. Then there would be one more credit, stating it as "and" this character, as a mysterious older guy.

* * *

Jake loosened his tie in relief as he stepped through the door of the Scott house and heard it shut behind him. It was becoming a relief, to end every day in the family environment, while his other life was so lacking in same. 

"How was it?" asked Nathan, coming into the hall. Jake was surprised. Though it was happening less and less, it was far from rare that Nathan would be at the office into the early hours of the morning.

"Good. Brooke kept texting me pictures of Devon, which made it harder to work, but it was good," said Jake, briefly summarizing his day.

After his freshman year had ended, Nathan had offered him a summer job at one of his newspapers.

"She does that incessantly. Guess living around Lucas doesn't give her a good impression of the workforce?" guessed Nathan. Jake laughed appreciatively as Leigh and Ryan ran in to join them.

Ryan, now eighteen, was much more like the Ryan of the previous summer than she had been all year. It had been a year since her parents had died and she'd grown into a woman, full of pain and feeling. Her blonde hair was longer down her back, and she was dressed casually in cutoff shorts and a tank top.

Leigh's hair had grown naturally back to its original colour. She'd dropped her gothic phase in favour of a casual, almost tomboyish look. She'd outgrown her sister, and was proud of her recent age of sixteen.

"Hey guys," said Jake, happy to see both of them. Leigh offered him a wide, honest smile. Leigh Scott was slow to trust, but Jake was finally her friend.

"Hey Jake," said Ryan, happy as ever to see him. "You staying for dinner?"

"If I'm invited," said Jake, glancing carefully toward Nathan. Their small family was still fragile, and he wasn't wholly a part of it.

"You're always invited, man. Up for Chinese?" asked Nathan, grabbing a stray portable phone off the hall table.

As Nathan began to dial, Jake's own phone began to ring. Taking one look at the screen, he flipped it open and ducked into another room.

"Peyton?" he said in surprise.

"Yeah. Where are you, I haven't seen you all summer?" she said.

"The Scott's."

"The Lucas Scotts, or the Nathan Scotts?" asked Peyton sarcastically.

"Nathan's. I'm still on this coast," said Jake.

"Did you tell _anyone_ you wouldn't be home this summer?" asked Peyton.

"I don't know what you were expecting. A singing telegram? We broke up, and I'm making money," said Jake.

"Fine, whatever. I'm just calling to say I'm going to be living in the dorms, and the place is still yours if you want it," she said, hanging up abruptly. Jake cursed lustily to himself. He did still want the place, bad memories or not. But there was no way he could keep it by himself.

After ten minutes of silent brooding, he went back to join Ryan, Leigh and Nathan, who were playing blackjack in the kitchen, impatiently waiting for their food. Jake walked over to Ryan, who was sitting cross legged on the counter.

"Hit me," she instructed Nathan. He handed her a card, and she tore her eyes away from him to glance at Nathan.

"You okay?" she whispered, as Leigh and Nathan began to talk.

"I'll tell you later?" he suggested. She nodded subtly as Nathan turned his attentions back to her.

Ryan turned her attention to Leigh, who was lamenting over a bad card decision. Jake glanced toward Nathan, who was looking intently at him. With an almost smile, Jake remembered the Nathan of the previous summer. The cocky, self assured Nathan who'd spent his entire time trying to entice Haley. Nathan was now a father, businessman, all around good catch. Perfect for Haley, who still refused to see him.

"Peyton?" mouthed Nathan, noting Jake's sad face. Jake nodded and tried to smile. They were in the same position now, and it brought them closer. Jake had lost the only four he'd ever been close to-Chris, because of Haley, Haley, because of Nathan, Brooke because of Lucas, and Peyton. Peyton, because of him.

It was hard to believe.

Would it have been better if they'd never gotten together? Was it in fact better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? Some days, Jake wasn't entirely sure.

"Food's here," said Nathan tensely, after another pregnant pause.

Half an hour later, they'd descended back into their traditional family mode. Jake was showing Leigh the pictures of Devon he'd been texted. Ryan was telling Nathan about the article she'd read on Davis in US Weekly, about how she was back in LA, being charitable and partying. And how there were rumours she'd taken out her breast implants, and she'd dyed her hair and it looked awful.

Even later in the evening, Nathan had taken out Leigh to buy her new clothes for September. Jake was loading the dishwasher with the few dishes they'd used, and Ryan was sitting on the edge of the counter, swinging her legs against the cabinets and attempting to make him open up to her.

"How long's it been since you guys talked?" she asked.

"Months. Since she moved out. She went back to Tree Hill with Haley and I stayed here and I've been with you guys almost the entire time. It's been pretty easy to avoid each other," he said. She frowned sympathetically. Ryan was far, far out of her element, but somehow she understood.

"What did she want?" she asked softly.

"She got into the residence. Says I can have the place," he said bitterly.

"Uh, good?"

"Not exactly. I still want it, but there's no way in hell I can afford to live there by myself," lamented Jake. Ryan looked at him calculatingly.

"But we can," she countered. Jake looked up at her in surprise, and forced himself to remember that she was more than just a little kid. She was his age. Almost.

"What? Aren't you going to live at home and go to NYU?" he asked.

"No. I talked to Nathan the other day. I have money, I'm over eighteen. He supports it," she said.

"My place is tiny, Ryan. It's not exactly what you're used to," he said apologetically, glancing around the imposing, stainless steel kitchen.

"I don't particularly like what I'm used to. Come on, I'll pay half the rent and you can teach me how to do laundry," she said. He cracked a half smile.

"Fine. But you're telling your brother," he said firmly.

"Tell me what?" asked Nathan, walking in to the kitchen.

"I'm going to move in with Jake," she said proudly.

"Nice. Someone I can trust to get her home once in a while," said Nathan ruefully.

"I'll visit," she promised, jumping off the counter to hug her big brother. Nathan smiled as she nestled herself into him, and held her tightly. After everything he'd lost, it was reassuring to still have them, to be a good father to them.

Later still, Jake had yet to go home. After Ryan and Leigh had gone to bed, he found Nathan in his study, filling it with smoke.

"You okay, man?" he asked awkwardly.

"It's going to be hard to let her go," said Nathan.

"It's usually pretty hard," said Jake. They met eyes, both knowing the other wasn't speaking of sibling love.

"Take care of her," said Nathan.

"Always. You know, it's been a year," said Jake.

"Pretty much exactly 365 days in which I've almost called her," said Nathan.

"You guys could still make it work."

"She's with someone else. I left her, Jake. I never should have, but I did."

Jake considered this. Seamus was something of a tool, but Haley didn't seem to mind. He turned to go.

As his hand reached out for the crystal doorknob, he paused.

"All her life, Haley has never felt for anyone…" Jake paused, collecting his thoughts. "The way she felt about you."

Jake walked out of the room, leaving Nathan in the smoky, semi-darkness of his room. He looked out into the lavish, empty hall.

"And she never will," he said, before beginning to walk down it.


	51. Waiting

Chapter Fifty-One: Waiting

* * *

Author's note: Ange wishes to be recognized for her extreme genius in recognizing a couple that will become a stronger theme from now on.

* * *

"Please tell me that this is the last box," groaned Jake, as he stumbled in the door to their apartment. Ryan smiled at him over her shoulder.

"We're almost done. Nathan's brining some, isn't he?" she asked, craning her neck to look around Jake.

"Can he bring ten? Guy spends so much time working out, you'd think he'd be more helpful," said Jake bitterly. Ryan let out a giggle and picked up the box.

"Whiner," she said. He stared at her lift the heavy box toward her room.

"Now how do you do that? No offense, but… how?"

"I work out. Much like Nathan. Now go help him out," she said.

Two hours later, the main room was a mess, and Ryan's new room was cluttered in boxes, surrounding the bad that Nathan and Jake were attempting to put together.

"I blame you. If you hadn't bought so many things for her, my place would still resemble my actual place," said Jake.

"Our place," said Ryan gleefully, skipping in to the room. "You have absolutely nothing in your cupboards."

"We have nothing in the cupboards, you mean?" he said innocently. She laughed.

"Go shopping. Don't starve to death," said Nathan sternly.

"You worry too much," said Ryan saucily. He smiled.

"I have to agree with the guy. Do you have any body fat at all?" he wondered, watching her bounce experimentally onto her bed.

"Ryan's been doing ballet since she was a kid. They're not big on the body fat," explained Nathan.

"You know, I'd heard that. But none of my girls ever did it," he said distractedly. Nathan looked distraught. Haley, Brooke and Peyton would always be Jake's girls in ways they couldn't be anyone else's. But Nathan couldn't help but wish that Haley could be wholly his, just once.

"We're done here. Let's get pizza," said Nathan, standing up abruptly. Jake watched him go in confusion before glancing over at Ryan, who shrugged before following him out of the room.

Nathan was quiet all evening. Even when he left, at which point Jake and Ryan had both predicted him to make a scene and suggest subtly another night at the Scott mansion, he left easily.

"That's weird," said Jake, glancing toward her new roommate. She narrowed her blue eyes.

"Completely. I'll be right back," she said, vanishing out of the front door.

Nathan was already halfway down the block. Ryan quickly located him and began to run.

"Nate!" she called. He made a half turn and saw his baby sister running toward him, her long blonde hair swinging behind her.

"Ry," he said, sounding happy to see her. As soon as she reached him, Ryan threw herself into his surprised arms.

"You've got to stop being jealous of Jake," she said empathetically.

"I'm not," he said, instantly putting forth a denial.

"You are too. He doesn't want Haley like that, his past shouldn't interfere," said Ryan. Nathan smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"You're intuitive. I've got to give you that," smiled Nathan.

"Yeah, yeah. Nathan, go after her. Please. For all our sakes," she said.

"Ryan, I told you…"

"No, you didn't. Not once in a year have you given a good excuse as to why you can't be together. Because there isn't one. You've always loved her. And I promise, she still loves you. She's waiting, Nate. She'll always be waiting," said Ryan.

"You will be too. You think I didn't notice?" asked Nathan, nodding toward her new apartment building. She blushed.

"Shut up. It's been a year. How much longer are you going to let it be?" asked Ryan, suddenly detaching herself from Nathan and leaving the way she'd come.

By the time she arrived back Jake was on the couch, watching a basketball game. She walked over to join him.

"Yeah Knicks," she said enthusiastically, dropping onto the couch. Jake glanced sideways at her and smiled.

"Whoever marries you is a lucky guy, Ryan Scott," he said. Smiling, she dropped down and easily laid her head in his lap. Unsurprised by her gesture, Jake began to slowly comb his fingers through her hair.

Like he'd done with Brooke.

Like he'd done with Haley.

But completely different than anything he'd done with Peyton.

* * *

"Hey, Ryan? I'm going to make some coffee, do you want?" he asked, walking in to her bedroom uninvited. 

Ryan glanced over her shoulder at him and automatically covered herself with her hands. Jake's eyebrows raised as he caught a glimpse of her tight, dark wash jeans, and the noticeable absence of anything else.

"Knock much?" she asked feebly. For a moment, he took in the sight of her form.

"Sorry. With Peyton, I just got used to… Sorry. Coffee?" he asked.

"Actually, I was going to go out. Buy food," she explained. Jake slowly noticed white lines in her tanned skin, notably from a string bikini.

"Anorexic much?" he asked, mimicking her voice as he stepped out of her room. Ryan took a deep breath.

"_At least he stared a little,"_ she said to herself, before pulling a shirt over her head.

Ryan stared blankly at the rows of shelves at the grocery store when she found herself there an hour later. Growing up as an East side Princess had in no way prepared her for that. She looked at the list that Jake and her had compiled.

Staring at a wall of laundry detergent, she blindly made a grab for the only kind she'd ever seen on a commercial and dropped it into her cart. When she looked up again she met a familiar pair of eyes, eyes widened in disbelief at seeing her perform such a menial task.

"God, Peyton? Hi!" said Ryan, moving around the cart to embrace her.

"Ryan. What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise.

"Oh, I moved out. Turned eighteen and everything. How are you, I haven't seen you in months!" said the younger girl enthusiastically.

"Good. As good as possible. So where do you live now?" asked Peyton. Ryan quickly considered if there was any way that her new would not hurt her.

"With uh, Jake. In the extra bedroom, so he can afford to live there." Ryan shamefully looked down as Peyton considered this.

"Good. That's good. You know he slept with Davis last year?" said Peyton. Ryan raised her eyebrows.

"Uh, yeah. But so have both my brothers and I haven't exactly exiled them, so…" Peyton began to move down the aisle.

"You know I have to go. Go do a really, really important thing. I'll just see you later," she said. As she waved, her sleeve caught on a shelf and she brought down three boxes of fabric softener. Embarrassed, she began to walk more quickly away.

Ryan frowned before leaning down to pick up a box of softener to add to her cart, wondering what she could possibly tell Jake.


	52. The Calm Before The Storm

Chapter Fifty-Two: The Calm Before The Storm

"What are you doing?"

Haley looked up from the desk drawer she was organizing. A tall, dark haired boy had appeared in her doorway.

"Relishing my Juniorness. What are you doing here?" she asked.

"What, a graduate can't come back to visit his girl? Come here," said Seamus. Leaping out of her desk chair, she ran toward him and fell into his waiting arms.

"I missed you. Don't go so far away next summer," she instructed him. He laughed.

"You could have come," he reminded her.

"Yeah, didn't really want to. Doesn't business school start soon?" she asked, taking his hand to lead him to her bed.

"Pretty much. I missed you too," he said. Seamus leaned forward to kiss her, and Haley eagerly responded. Seamus was such a nice guy. Compared to even Jake, the only guy Haley had ever truly trusted. Her heart warmed as her boyfriend broke off the kiss, eager, as always, to not pressure her.

"I was in New York yesterday," she said carefully. Seamus looked at her, attempting to look open and unthreatened.

"Yeah?"

"Visiting Ryan and Jake. They're going to live together again. Peyton's moving into a place with some of her friends off campus. Leigh's about to move out," said Haley.

"Who told you?" asked Seamus. Haley leaned forward and kissed him again.

"Ryan," she promised. Her junior year wasn't starting for another two weeks, but she had been instructed to come early, as an RA, to arrive before Freshman orientation.

"Take me with you next time? I still haven't met her," said Seamus. His voice was eager and not reproachful.

"Okay," she agreed happily.

"Did you hear anything about Brooke?" Immediately, Haley's face fell expressionless. She and Brooke hadn't spoken since their fallout at Christmas, two years previously.

"I talked to Luke for a little while. They seem to be doing well," she said tensely.

"Good. They've been keeping out of the tabloids a lot lately," he commented.

"Yeah, even Davis is. Peyton hasn't seen her in a while," said Haley.

"She was always just a fad," said Seamus comfortingly. He didn't feel inclined to mention that the last he'd heard of the Scott family had been in a tabloid stating that Nathan Scott was gay.

"Obviously. Jake hated her," said Haley.

"Didn't Jake sleep with her?" asked Seamus in confusion. Though over the two years he'd been with Haley he'd had minimal contact with her friends, he knew them through her stories, and detailed explanations of their tangled love lives.

"Yeah. Maybe Peyton too, we never were really sure what went on between them," laughed Haley.

"That's like a love octagon," he said in disbelief.

"Yeah," said Haley. Seamus pulled her on to his lap. "It's much better now."

* * *

"You drink coffee weird," commented Haley, as she poured a creamer into her own.

"Black isn't weird. Black is just… black," said Seamus, attempting to justify it. She giggled as she ripped open a small package of white sugar.

"Yeah, whatever. How long can you stay?" she asked.

"Just until next week. I have orientation too," he reminded her. Haley frowned, thinking of her boyfriend of two years starting up a whole new life without her. As her eyes roamed idly, she caught sight of a blonde woman sitting at the counter, her eyes covered by sunglasses, her face mostly in shadows. Haley shivered and looked away.

Ghosts from the past never would stop appearing to her.

"How're your parents?" she asked hesitantly.

"Good. They were sad you couldn't visit," he said. She smiled.

"I never understood why they liked me so much," said Haley.

"See, I always did," said Seamus, wrapping an arm around her to pull her close before kissing the top of her head.

They leaned in to kiss, but were interrupted by the ringing of Haley's cell phone.

"God, it's Peyton. I bet you a million dollars she's calling to whine about Ryan. Could she be more jealous?" asked Haley.

"Wouldn't you be?"

"Jake would never touch Ryan, it would make him feel like a pedophile," explained Haley. She stifled a giggle as she looked up at Seamus and remembered he was two years her senior. "Not that he actually would be…"

Seamus chose that moment to kiss her properly. Really, some days it was the only way to get her to stop talking.

Haley left him at his car in the residence parking lot later on, and watched as he drove off. She smiled. Some days she was quite sure he was the one. Besides the days she didn't feel pressured to lose her virginity, or the days she was unable to get her mind of Nathan, or the times she thought he wasn't nearly interesting enough.

Besides those days, he was absolutely perfect.

Haley sang softly to herself as she entered her room. But she stopped as she stepped through the door. Something was wrong. Something was different. All her senses were alerted by a stirring in the corner.

"Oh," said Haley, seeing a figure emerge from the darkness. "So it was you."

"Yeah. Cute guy." The figure remained hidden.

"What do you want?" asked Haley unkindly.

Taylor James emerged from the dark and took off her sunglasses, revealing a black eye, and a noticeable shiner on her cheek.

"I need help," she said simply, looking appealingly at her younger sister.

* * *

"So you need money," said Haley, breaking down the situation to the best of her abilities.

"They'll kill me," she said, her voice shakey.

"Who?"

"I got together with this guy, and he's in a bad crowd. And he stole money from them and took off, and he made it look like it was me. Then I was broke, and I needed more, so I slept with this other guy and waited till he was sleeping. Then he came after me, and…" Taylor broke down.

"How much?" asked Haley, her voice steady. Taylor looked up, and Haley remembered her sister's once beautiful voice.

"A lot."

"For God's sake, just tell me," snapped Haley.

"Three hundred."

"Thousand? Good lord. I'm a student Taylor, I can't… Have you talked to Mom and Dad?" she asked.

"I've exhausted all my options, trust me. Haley, they're going to kill me," said Taylor, fear in her eyes. Haley stared at her.

"No they're not. You're going to be fine," said Haley with resignation. "Because I have a plan."


	53. Headed Nowhere

Chapter Fifty-Three: Headed Nowhere

* * *

Author's note: The scene in italics is a flashback.

* * *

Haley was growing by leaps and bounds as she gazed at the landscape around her shift rapidly as the train passed it.

Only she didn't know if she was growing younger or older.

She lifted her feet to the seat, and protectively encircled her knees with her arms, trying to make herself as compact as possible.

It was terrifying, this prospect of living again. She'd been dying for two years, ever since…

_

* * *

Haley enjoyed dancing with Peyton. Peyton was a good dancer. Life was hard to imagine without her friends in it._

_Annoyance snapped inside of her when they were joined by one of the varsity basketball players, a tall blonde boy. _

"_Do you do everything like you dance?" asked the blonde boy. Haley blushed automatically, used to another boy saying such things._

_She realized that she was not alone in her annoyance when strong hands encircled her waist from behind and pulled her away._

_Nathan pulled her in and turned her around until she was facing him. Even without his prompting, Haley moved to him until they were pressed together, dancing sensually to the music. As the faster song ended and gave away to s slow one, she put her hands on his shoulders and he possessively encircled her waist again._

"_I don't think I can leave you," admitted Nathan._

"_You're not. I'm leaving you, remember?"_

"_Can you come to LA at Christmas?" asked Nathan hopefully._

"_Christmas is a long way away," she said._

"_Not compared to how long our lives will be," he said tonelessly. Their whole lives. Had he really meant that?_

_Suddenly he was kissing her, and she was kissing him. They were passionately kissing the kiss of a pair of lovers destined to part._

_Haley remembered her thoughts:_

_They had tonight._

_As it turned out, they'd had that night alone._

* * *

At some point, Haley had fallen off to sleep, her flashback mingling with a dream. She woke up as the train reached New York City. Grabbing her purse and the only small bag she'd brought, she went hurriedly off the train.

Haley didn't require an address. In New York, Scott Publishing was legendary.

"I'm here to see Nathan Scott," she said to the receptionist at the desk. Her eyes swept Haley.

"In a business capacity, or personal?" she asked.

"Personal," said Haley, her eyes cold. After a moment, the secretary nodded and directed her toward his office.

Haley looked down as she walked through a maze of corridors and up an elevator. To look up and acknowledge his empire would only force her to admit how different their worlds now were.

Nathan's office wall was solid, and not frosted glass. Haley wondered what he did behind it that warranted its opaqueness.

This was before she reminded herself that she didn't care.

"Sophie, what is it? I'm busy," he said.

"Just a memory," said Haley.

Nathan glanced up sharply, and his eyes met hers.

"Haley…" His voice was low and disbelieving. Haley looked down as to not lose herself in his blue eyes. She slid her eyes close and took a deep breath, suddenly feeling short of air.

"You look…"

"Don't," whispered Haley. She gripped the doorknob tightly, attempting to gain balance. He leapt out of his chair and ran to her, steadying her.

She shook off his offending hands. As she glanced up at him again, he hurriedly removed the wire-rimmed glasses he was wearing and stuffed them in his pants pocket.

"You're here," he said lamely, after another interminable moment of silence.

"I'm not. I mean, I shouldn't be," she said. But she didn't move.

His astonished eyes took in her appearance. His Haley, the Haley he'd always known, was replaced by someone entirely different. She was wearing stiletto sandals that made her several inches closer to his height, a skirt that showed a long expanse of her tanned legs. Her off the shoulder shirt was topped by a short, fitted white jacket.

"Then why are you?" asked Nathan. As she leaned back into him, in another fit of nerves, he had a passing impulse to take her in his arms and do everything he'd been dying to do to her for years.

"I need help." Nathan took her arm and led her to the couch, sitting down a respectable distance from her.

"Anything," he promised.

"How about you try to grope me and then leave while I'm still sleeping half naked in your bed? Oh, no, you've already done that," she said bitterly.

"Haley…"

"Right. It's not actually me. You remember my sister, Taylor? She's in trouble with like a gang and they're going to kill her if I don't bail her out," explained Haley. She looked up at Nathan. He looked so old. He'd always been older than her, but acted so immature that it had never posed a problem. Though he was freshly shaven, he looked years older than he ever had. Older than he should have looked.

"A few thousand? I can…" Haley laughed bitterly.

"A few hundred thousand," she explained apologetically.

Nathan abruptly stood up and began to pace the length of his office. Haley crossed her legs and let one sandal clad foot dangle in the ear.

"Shit, Haley. I can't just. I mean, the money, it's… How..?"

"Taylor's always been pretty good at getting herself in trouble."

"I mean, the money's mostly tied up in assets. I can't just make that big a withdrawal. And it's fairly unethical," he explained.

"I'm finally here, and all you can think about is ethics?" she demanded, standing up.

"You would not believe the thoughts going through my head right now," he said. Haley brought back her hand to slap him, but he caught her wrist, hard.

"I guess you changing really was just an act," she said with resignation. He took a deep breath. He'd never imagined he'd be so close to her again.

"Your boyfriend…"

"Shut up. So you can't just give me the money. Is there anything I can do to change your mind? Maybe some sort of… collateral?" she suggested, looking innocently at him.

"Don't…"

"Afraid you'll see something you like, Mr. Scott?" asked Haley provocatively. Her mind flashed briefly to Seamus.

"But I don't… anymore," said Nathan. Words were not coming to him at their ordinary rate.

"So? You want me," she said.

"You planned in advance," he said. Slowly, he leaned down toward her.

"And?" Haley's heart quickened as he came closer and closer.

"Haley?" Haley let her eyes flutter closed, and she waited expectantly for the touch of his lips.

"Yeah?"

"Marry me?" he suggested, his voice in the same quietly seductive tone.


	54. Shine Until Tomorrow

Chapter Fifty-Four: Shine Until Tomorrow

* * *

Author's note: This chapter is dedicated to Ange for her help, specifically regarding April Ramirez. Oh, and this story is now posted at writers911.

* * *

"What the hell?" yelped Haley, yanking her hand from his and jumping backward.

"Calm down," he said, sounding bored.

"What, are you still in love with me? This is supposed to be obligation sex and leftover lust," she said.

"Aint nothin' wrong with that," said Nathan.

"Pig. Now let's get back to that whole "what the hell" deal," she instructed him.

"Let's get back to the "still" in love thing. When did I ever say I was in love with you?" he demanded.

"Please," she said, rolling her eyes. He led her back to the couch.

"There's no way I can explain this that's not going to make you think I'm a pig again," he warned her.

"Trust me, I never stopped."

"Did you hear that I'm gay? Because everyone from here to LA seems to have," he said.

"I hadn't," she said.

"It's not exactly good for the company image," he explained.

"This might just be the least romantic proposal in the history of proposals," commented Haley.

"And I want kids. Smart kids. And I'm tired of having to find some gold digger to be my dates for the parties I have to host," he explained.

"So you need a trophy wife," she said.

"Pretty much. Know anyone interested?"

"So it's like a business arrangement?" she said.

"I could have my lawyer draw up a pre-nup this afternoon," said Nathan.

"And I'd get…"

"Money for your sister. And a lot more money."

"This is sounding disturbingly Tom Cruisish," said Haley. Nathan laughed.

"Yeah, except for that I'm not actually gay. Anyway, are you going to make me get down on one knee?" he asked. She giggled.

"No. Are we going to have to like live like married people?" asked Haley tentatively.

"You seemed willing to, on that last night," he said.

"Sometimes, Nathan Scott, you disgust me completely. And don't look so excited. Do you really think I'm still that girl? For God's sake, I didn't go out with Matt Camden for two years, I went out with someone real. Someone fulfilling," she said, angrily flouncing out of the office. A moment later, her head appeared around the door again. "Come on, don't I have to sign something?"

Nathan covered his face with his hands once she was gone. Was that really her? Was he dreaming the dream he'd dreamed for two years, or was he living it? Had she been serious, about her boyfriend, and what she'd done with him? Did she feel anything for him any more?

He walked out to the hall. The many employees gathered watched with interest while he placed his hand on her lower back and guided her outside.

Nathan hurriedly grabbed the hand she'd used to attempt to flag down a taxi and took it to pull her toward the company car that was waiting for them.

She sat on the far edge, watching the city zoom past her through a tinted window. As her phone rang she fished it out of her pocket, innocently drawing attention to her legs.

"Hello?" she said curiously into it. Nathan noticed her panicked expression when the caller answered.

"Sorry, I had to leave quickly. I'm in Tree Hill." Haley looked across the car at him and frowned, knowing he was listening to every work she spoke.

"I might have to stay a while." Grinning to himself, Nathan moved over slightly in the car and casually placed a hand on her leg, slowly moving it upward. She shivered and attempted to push him off.

"Seamus, I have to go," she said, hurriedly hanging up the phone and turning to him.

"Looks like a healthy relationship," said Nathan, smirking to himself.

"God, shut up. And quit pressuring me, it isn't going to happen," she said. She gasped as he took both her hands and pulled her toward him, until their legs were touching.

"Hales, you know that isn't true. Maybe you've managed to convince yourself it's true. It has been a while. But you know it's going to happen, and you know you want it as much as you always have. Oh, and we're here," he said, abruptly getting out of the car.

Haley gasped as she followed him out and found herself facing the town house she'd heard so much about. She'd never bothered to picture it. But even if she had bothered, she'd never have been able to do it justice. The house was huge and imposing, and bigger than most she'd ever seen.

"Come on," he said impatiently, doubling back to take her hand.

The hall that the wide front doors opened to a wide hall, opening to several doors. A crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, and the wide, sweeping staircase in front of them was marble,

"It's not exactly you," she said hesitantly. He smiled.

"Yeah, but it's home." As the heavy door slammed behind them, Haley heard two sets of footsteps come running. She smiled and braced herself as two blonde girls came running down the stairs, noticeably older than she'd seen them last.

Haley glanced sideways at Nathan, hoping desperately he'd say something to end the interminable silence. But he stayed silent.

Leigh sent her a small, subtle Death Glare. Was there anyone in the world who Leigh Scott didn't hate?

Ryan obliged Haley by shrieking and flinging her arms around her. Trust Ryan to end a silence.

"Oh my God, what are you _doing_ here? I haven't seen you in years! How are you?" she asked eagerly. Haley's eyes widened.

"Good. I'm, I'm… good. How are you? I heard you're living with Jake?" asked Haley. Ryan nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, he's great. How's Brown?" she asked.

"Great. How's it going, Leigh?" asked Haley, her voice weak.

"Just dandy. Nathan, someone dropped this off. You made the front cover again," said Leigh, thrusting a magazine toward them. Nathan winced. Featured prominently on the cover was him leading a tall, gorgeous Latin American girl by the arm. In bold letters, the headlines screamed: **NATHAN SCOTT'S NEW LOVE?**

Haley scowled covertly at him with her eyes. He leaned toward her and grazed her ear with his lips.

"Jealous?"

"What's her name?" asked Leigh.

"April Ramirez."

"And here I thought you were in to guys," said Haley.

"So does the rest of America. So, will you be in town for long?" asked Ryan pleasantly, leading her down the hall.

* * *

"This is one weird agreement," commented Haley, flicking through their prenup. 

"Yeah, and the rest of it is just so conventional," he said.

Scowling at him, she signed the dotted line clearly and distinctly. He sighed almost inaudibly in relief. Up until that moment, he hadn't been able to truly believe that she would sign. It all seemed too easy.

Now all he had to do was make her love him again.

"So…. Now we get married?" said Haley hesitantly.

"That's the deal," he said coolly, feeling her eyes as he signed the document.

"Tomorrow maybe?" she suggested.

"Whatever."

* * *

"Haley, why are you doing this?" asked Ryan carefully. She ran into the room knowing that even though it was midnight on the eve of her wedding, Haley would not be asleep. 

Haley sat up as Ryan jumped onto the bed beside her.

"I don't love Nathan, Ryan. I don't know if I ever have, I don't know if I ever will. But I've _always_ known that he was the man I was going to marry. I don't know if we'll be together forever, or if we'll break up next year, but I know that we have to do at least this much."

Ryan stared at her for a second.

"Who do you love, little girl?" asked Haley eventually. Immediately, Ryan got off the bed and walked out. As if she didn't already know.

After another few moments of silence, Haley left the room herself. She shivered as she walked down the hall. Living in this house seemed completely unimaginable.

Eventually, she found herself in his dining room, alone with the liquor cabinet. She coughed as she down a shot of vodka.

"Alone? That's pretty sad, Hales," said Nathan, walking up beside her.

"I don't know how you can do this to me Nathan. I'm in love with someone else," she said.

"So you did manage to convince yourself. I always wondered," he said cynically.

Haley moved to slap him again, but he caught her wrist in his hand. As she raised her other, he caught it as well, sending the shot glass crashing to the floor. Attempting to free her wrists, she found herself completely immobile.

"Let me go," she said, through clenched teeth.

"I never should have let you go." He leaned down to kiss her, but she jerked away as best as she was able.

"You aren't in love with me," she reminded him.

"Yeah, because that last night was all about love," he said sarcastically.

"No, it's was about you lea…" Nathan took his chance, and pressed his lips on to hers.

This time, she didn't protest.

Nathan was startled when Haley, once so innocent, immediately deepened the kiss. As he lifted her up slightly, she wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing into his hardness.

Supporting her weight and his, Nathan stumbled do the table and lowered her on to it. She wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her on top of him before they resumed kissing in full force.

How could he have even looked at April? How could he have ever thought of any woman but her?

She jerked in surprise when his phone began to ring.

"Who's calling you at one a.m?" she asked.

"No one… Shit." He answered the phone, and spoke into it for a moment.

"Come on." Nathan hurriedly got off of her and pulled her up while she attempted to redo the buttons of her shirt.

"Why?"

"Brooke's in labour," he explained, calling out for Ryan and Leigh.

"She's been pregnant for two years?" asked Haley, fallowing him out.

"No. She was pregnant again. We're going to LA," he said curtly, pulling her along behind him.


	55. Someday You Will Be Loved

Chapter Fifty-Five: Someday You Will Be Loved

Nathan had his laptop with him, fully prepared to take advantage of the long flight to California. But once he'd settled into his seat, he'd found that the blonde woman on his right provided far too much distraction for this to be possible.

He still couldn't believe that after all their time apart, she was finally there. Near enough to touch, to prove to himself that she was actually real and not a figment of his imagination. Near enough to smell, to see, to hear. To taste.

Eventually she fell asleep against Ryan. He watched with a smile as they slept with their heads nestled together, arms loosely draped around their bodies. It was an endearing image, as much as he wished that she was sleeping on his shoulder, and that she still trusted him.

As the plane landed, his mind jolted back to why they'd just flown across the country. He smiled as he pictured his young nephew, Devon, who was now over a year old. As he glanced sideways at the still sleeping Haley, he wondered if their own children would look anything like Brooke and Lucas'.

"God, we're here already? What should we tell them?" asked Haley.

"That we're together. I can't stay long, I have to be back in New York for a conference on Wednesday," said Nathan, standing up as the plane stopped moving.

"Where are Peyton and Jake?" she asked. Leigh and Ryan slowly awoke and began to listen to their conversation.

"They can't make it up until next week. We probably won't see them."

Haley frowned as she followed Nathan off the private jet.

Lucas Scott was waiting in the private hospital, holding a sleeping child in his arms. With one glance, Haley knew that it was the elder, and not the one that was being born.

"How's she doing?" asked Nathan nervously, running up to his brother. In the first moment, Lucas didn't notice Haley, standing amongst Ryan and Leigh.

"She had to have a cesarean. She should be coming out soon," said Lucas, sounding nervous. Nathan glanced down at the sleeping baby.

"You couldn't get a sitter?"

"Didn't want one. Hey Ryan, Leigh." Lucas looked up at his sisters and smiled. The smile lingered until his eyes fell, irrevocably, to Haley.

"Hey Luke," she said, her smile tight.

"Brooke's going to be happy to see you," he said eventually. Haley smiled, appreciating his words, even if they were a lie. She knelt and stroked his son's smooth forehead.

"This is Devon. He's about one and a half," said Lucas proudly.

"He's gorgeous," said Haley softly. For a moment, she imagined the role she'd have had in the child's life, had she not exiled herself from her best friend's.

"You guys are really pumping 'em out. Have a goal in mind?" asked Leigh. Nathan lightly smacked the back of her head in reproach, and she giggled.

Over her shoulder, Haley caught Nathan's eyes and almost smiled. Seeing the beauty of her best friend's son almost made her see hope for their future.

Haley squealed as she saw a nurse approach, past Nathan's own shoulder. Devon awoke with a yell as the four other heads swiveled to the direction she was facing.

Lucas dropped his elder son in Haley's arms as he hurried toward the nurse and accepted the child she carried. Slowly he walked back toward them.

"It's a guy. Eight pounds, seven ounces," said Lucas proudly. Nathan smiled at his new nephew.

"Nice. Definitely a Scott," he said proudly. Haley remembered how much of a worry this had been, the first time around.

"What's his name?" asked Haley, curling her inexperienced hands around Devon's wriggling body.

"Hayden Lucas Scott. I would have gone for Nathan, but Brooke insisted," said Lucas, shrugging.

"Dude, you're so whipped…" said Leigh, rolling her eyes.

"Hales…" Nathan saw how Haley was struggling with Devon, and took him from her. Her hands fell to her sides, suddenly feeling empty.

"Can I hold the new one?" she asked eagerly. Carefully, Lucas handed Hayden to Haley.

And suddenly, all else ceased to exist.

* * *

Haley peered cautiously through the blinds at Brooke sleeping in her hospital bed. Besides looking exhausted and sleep deprived, Brooke was basically the same Brooke she'd been at eighteen. Taking a deep breath, Haley pushed open the door and silently stepped inside.

."Luke?" said Brooke immediately, not opening her eyes.

"Hey Tigger," said Haley softly, looking down at her friend.

"Haley." Brooke's voice instantly drew her to her. Haley sped to the chair by the bed and took her hand.

"He's beautiful," said Haley.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came to see you. I missed you, so much. I missed so much. I'm sorry," she said. Haley kissed the hand she held, and waited for her friend to speak.

"It's okay. I was being kind of a bitch, anyway," said Brooke comfortingly.

"We broke up. I came with Nathan," announced Haley, wishing desperately that she could tell the real, honest truth.

"Are you together?" she asked.

"We were going to elope, in New York," admitted Haley. Finally Brooke opened her eyes, and craned her neck to look at her.

"Trust me to stick my foot in it," she joked.

"Yeah."

"Haley, that's incredible. You have to stay here to do it. As soon as I can actually move we'll ship Jake and Peyton out here and have a real wedding. We can go shopping tomorrow, it's been hard what with me having babies all the time and getting huge," lamented Brooke.

"Do you like being a Mom?" asked Haley cautiously.

"Wouldn't give it up for anything. But you have to go, else Lucas is going to come in and kick your ass," said Brooke. Haley stood, leaned over her best friend, and kissed her forehead.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too. And I missed you," promised Brooke, speaking to Haley's retreating back.

* * *

By the time the sun set that evening, when Nathan had checked the four of them in to the hotel, Haley knew what she had to do. Or rather, she knew what she couldn't possibly let herself do.

Hoisting her bag over her shoulder, and crept out of the room and ran for the elevator. Her heart sank when it opened to Nathan, preparing to embark on their floor.

"Going somewhere?" he asked.

"I was planning on it. But I guess I can't, can I Nathan?"

"You signed," he reminded her.

"Yeah, yeah I did. But that's not why. And it's not because of Taylor. This is destiny, isn't it? There's no getting around it, is there? No way out? No detour? This is just us, plain and simple, like we always will be, as much as we might hate it," she said desperately. As she began to shiver, he gently wrapped his arms around her.

"We could have done worse," he said consolingly.

"I don't love you. You've never loved me. I don't see how this could be worse."

"Come on. Let's go home," he said, taking her hand and leading her back in to the elevator.

* * *

In the end, they left it all behind. Without saying a word to their loved ones, Haley and Nathan left LA and the new baby to travel back to New York, where they could be alone.

Because in the coming days, they would certainly need it.


	56. In To The Dark

Chapter Fifty-Six: In To the Dark

* * *

Author's note: There is a wedding night scene coming up. If you think you can't handle this, you could probably skip the chapter and be okay, but I don't think it's anything that's not T. 

Someone mentioned in a review for the previous chapter that the title, "Somday You Will BE Loved" is a Death Cab song. So yeah, I might as well mention now that a lot of my titles will come from Death Cab, or completely random song lyrics that come to me when I happen to be writing and listenting to music at the same time.

And this chapter is dedicated to Ange. Like, times a million.

* * *

"So." Haley looked up at Nathan. "We're married now?" 

Nathan looked at the woman he loved, looking so small and terrified. He wanted desperately to take her into his arms and comfort her like a small child, but he needed to maintain his act. He needed to pretend, at least until he was certain he didn't have to.

"Yeah."

"This is crazy," she muttered under her breath, as the company car pulled up to the town house. Nathan got out of the car before her and offered his hand to help her out.

"Unconventional. Not crazy, Hales," he said reprovingly.

"When did Lucas and Brooke get married?" she asked, following him up the stone steps to the house.

"Six months before Devon was born. Now that's what I call unconventional," he said.

Haley paused in the doorway, looking out into the bleakly lit hall.

"Maybe. But they were in love." Slamming the door shut behind her, she entered what was to be her new home.

Letting her pulse drop as they walked, Haley walked up the wide, sweeping staircase to the upper floor. She sighed. As soon as she was settled in, she planned on giving the house a makeover.

His bedroom-their bedroom-was slightly better. The bed was a wide, normal bed, without curtains or lace or dust ruffles. The Egyptian cotton sheets had a high thread count. Covering most of one wall was a French door, leading out to a small balcony. Besides a large wardrobe and an armchair, it was fairly sparse. The walls were red. Haley thought, philosophically, that this was much preferable to pink. She looked out the window. Night was beginning to fall.

"We have to sleep here? Together?" asked Haley, eyeing his bed suspiciously.

"Is it really such a bad thing?" he asked.

"Nathan, we haven't been together in two years. And it's not like I'm so curious about all this anymore, anyway. It's kind of old news." Haley gasped in surprise when he moved swiftly toward her, backing her into the wall and trapping her wrists on it at shoulder height. She wiggled slightly to test his grip and found she was immobile.

"You're lying," he accused her. She shook her head.

"I'm not," she whispered. He pressed his body against hers, and she shuddered in response.

"You are."

"Let me go, Nathan," she demanded, her words more convincing than her tone.

"Tell me again," he ordered her.

"I had sex with Seamus," said Haley, her voice small and unconvincing.

He leaned forward and claimed her lips with his.

"You're lying." Nathan kissed her again and unzipped the zipper on her skirt. She gasped as he touched her.

"Yes. Oh God yes, Nathan."

Nathan hadn't been quite sure until that moment, but her moans of pleasure reassured him. Haley James was as untouched as he'd left her. Briefly, the knowledge that her beloved, perfect boyfriend of two years had gotten no farther than him reassured him. But as she pressed her lips to his and pressed up against him, their curves interlocking, all thoughts flew out of his head and suddenly it was all about her.

Stumbling a few steps, they made it on to the bed. As much as Nathan desired to be inside of her, he forced himself to hold off. He had to make it special. He had to make her believe that there was more to him than she suspected.

Pulling her onto his lap so she was straddling him, he grasped her waist tightly and began to trail kisses down her neck, sucking lightly. Unable to restrain himself, he ripped off her shirt, sending buttons flying, and hurriedly undid her bra. Feeling self conscious, she helped him out of his own shirt before leaning back and feeling his lips graze her breasts.

As her moans began to grow louder and louder, Nathan knew she was ready. Taking one arm from her waist, he hurriedly unzipped his pants and shoved up her skirt until he had full access.

Haley's eyes widened in surprise as he plunged inside of her. Nathan thought, for the briefest instant, of condoms, of all the measures he'd gone to in the last two years to prevent children, but he knew instantly that he'd never be able to stop. As he moved in her tight passage and felt himself break through the thin layer of skin, heard her brief gasp of pain, he couldn't help but let out a moan that matched hers.

Nathan watched as Haley shut her eyes tightly. She seemed to be trying to hold back, to contain the pleasure bubbling inside of her, the waves of it coursing through her, begging to be released. It didn't last long. Within moments she was again calling out for him, becoming what she'd never been before.

After, Haley rolled off of him and onto the bed, pulling off the remnants of her clothing, the bits they hadn't had time to remove. Her hands roamed for body, feeling for changes. Nathan watched as she touched her erect nipples, the sensitive places he'd touched her.

"Wow," she said eventually.

"Some virgin you are," he scoffed.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I probably deserved it," he admitted.

"You lost the nipple ring. And your sheets are all bloody," she said guiltily. He noticed this and shrugged.

"It happens." Haley stared sideways at him for a second, watching the ripples of his stomach muscles, the rest of his body, completely revealed to her.

"So," she began. He looked at her own nakedness, her blonde hair covering some of her. "Want to do it again?"

"I could go for that," said Nathan. Haley smiled until he'd rolled on top of her and leaned down to kiss her, at which point all humour, all other aspects of the real world melted away and they once against lost themselves in each other.


	57. Drowning Slowly

Chapter Fifty-Seven: Drowning Slowly

* * *

Author's note: I've been getting a lot of reviews requesting brucas. I'm sorry, I know I haven't been focusing on them as much. But this story is written like twenty chapers in advance, so I can't exactly do anything about that. However, I have written some of the flashbacks you've requested, they'll just come in a little later. And please remember that this story is first and foremost a naley.

* * *

Peyton frowned as she entered the Scott house. It had been weeks since she'd been there last, and something had changed. Something she couldn't put her finger on. She doubted it was the lack of Leigh, who was never around, or the lack of Ryan, who spent all her time with Jake. 

"Nathan?" she called out experimentally. As much as she sometimes hated it, she had made a conscious effort over the last year to visit Nathan and Leigh.

She groaned aloud as she heard a woman laugh behind one of the many doors in the hall. Peyton was tired of Nathan moping over Haley while he slept his way through the New York city women. As if that second rate actress, the Ramirez girl that claimed to be so in love with him, wasn't enough.

Impatiently she pushed open the door in question and encountered Nathan on the couch, a blonde woman on top of him, surprisingly clad. Peyton scoffed. Most of the time, it was a blonde.

"Nathan," she said insistently. Simultaneously, Nathan Scott and the woman turned their heads to face her. Peyton gasped as they did so.

"Peyton," said Haley awkwardly, rolling off Nathan and standing hurriedly.

"What the he…"

"I thought you were in LA," said Nathan, who still hadn't moved from the couch. As his hand roamed down Haley's bare thigh, she slapped it away.

"I came back yesterday. What are you _doing_ here?" demanded Peyton.

"I… we…" Nathan impatiently stood up, and lifted Haley's left hand into the air to show Peyton the gold band on her ring finger.

"We got married," said Nathan firmly. Haley held back a frown. He was so eager to show the more positive aspects of their doubtful union.

"Huh." Peyton stared at them as the light caught the ring on his own finger.

"Do you need to sit down?" asked Haley nervously.

"No. I can't stay. I have classes starting at noon," she said.

"First day, right. Ryan told me," said Nathan. Haley observed Peyton's face carefully, noting the shock, and the slight frown that appeared when Ryan was mentioned.

"Yeah. So you guys just eloped?" she asked.

"We…" Haley began.

"Pretty much," said Nathan. Peyton looked between the two, detecting something she couldn't classify.

"What about Seamus?" she asked. Again, Haley looked uncomfortable.

"We broke up. I never got over Nathan, you knew that," said Haley. Peyton did know this, to a certain extent.

"Yeah, but… Was anyone there?" asked Peyton. Haley and Nathan exchanged swift, pained glances.

"No," said Haley, too quickly. Peyton raised an eyebrow.

"Ryan and Jake. You were in LA," said Nathan.

"That's fine. I have to go. Class," she said awkwardly, hurrying out.

Only once she was outside did she let the tears began to fall.

* * *

By the time Peyton arrived to her first class of the new year, the only seats left in the lecture hall were the ones in the very back, and several in the front row. Sighing, she dropped into a chair, crossing one leg over the other as the Professor walked in. 

If she hadn't been mad at the world right then, he would have intrigued her. He looked to be around thirty-five, but could have been as old as forty. He was African-American, and was completely bald. He had a diamond earring in one ear. Brooke or even Haley would have been instantly turned off by the earring alone, but Peyton didn't mind. With new resolve, she reached into her book bag for her lap top and opened it, preparing to take notes.

"Good afternoon. My name is Christian Braddock, you'll find the course outline in front of you. I'm here to teach you more than you ever wanted to know about English literature, and I hope you can help me accomplish that goal. Let's get started," he said. He caught sight of Peyton rolling her eyes, and winked at her. She blushed.

* * *

After the class ended, Peyton was the third out the door. She stalled in front of the soda machine once she was out, comparing root beer and coke. 

"Peyton," said a voice from behind her. Peyton half turned and saw Jake and Ryan approaching, having emerged from the same class.

"Hey guys. I didn't know you were in there," she said.

"I thought I saw you. We were a few rows back. Did you like it?" Jake's face was void of emotion, and it seemed obvious to Peyton that he didn't truly care. Ryan, to her credit, looked awkward as she always did when they encountered Peyton.

Peyton never encountered them separately.

"It was okay. What kind of a name is Christian?" she said. Jake raised his eyebrows. "I mean I know Peyton isn't exactly normal, but…"

"Yeah. What's new with you?" asked Ryan. Peyton held back a scowl as she remembered that Ryan Scott was only a sophomore. What was she doing, in class with them?

"Nathan and Haley. Pretty crazy," she said.

"Completely," said Ryan, her voice strained. She tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder and lowered her eyes, looking uncomfortable and secretive.

"I'm surprised I didn't hear it in some tabloid," continued Peyton.

"They're keeping it quiet, I guess. How'd you find out?" asked Ryan. Peyton glanced at Jake and noted his silence.

"They were making out on the couch," said Peyton, allowing a laugh to escape her lips.

"I have class," said Jake abruptly. Ryan nodded, her blossoming smile vanishing. Quickly the two departed, leaving Peyton alone in the hallway.

Jake slung an arm around Ryan as they walked. Peyton sighed.

If it was so hard for her to get over him, how was it possible that it was so easy for him to get over her?

"That girl-is she actually Ryan Scott? Of _those_ Scotts?" asked Christian Braddock, coming up behind her.

"Yeah," said Peyton.

"What's she like?" he asked curiously.

"Pefect. Beautiful and charming and innocent. Absolutely freaking perfect," said Peyton, glancing into his dark eyes just once before walking quickly down the hallway.


	58. A Home in My Heart

Chapter Fifty-Eight: A Home in My Heart

* * *

Author's note: My friend Ange (anarchist278) is writing a really awesome naley story, A Time Best Forgotten. You should check it out, it's really good and angsty.

* * *

Haley awoke, as she was beginning to become accustomed to, with her head on Nathan's broad chest, using it as a pillow. His arms were wrapped loosely around her and all her naked flesh was up against his.

After a moment, she realized she'd been awoken by an incessant knocking on the door. She groaned and kicked Nathan's shin to awaken him.

"There's someone at the door," she grumbled.

"Come in!" called out Nathan.

"Nathan!" hissed Haley, hurriedly disentangling herself from his arms and sitting up in the bed to wrap herself in the bed sheet.

Jake entered and raised his eyebrows at the scene he encountered, but said nothing.

"Morning. Just thought you should know that you guys are out," he said. Nathan immediately stood, revealing himself to be clad only in his boxers. Haley wrapped the sheet tighter around her body and forced herself not to look at Jake.

"What is it?" she asked, as Nathan frowned at the tabloid.

"Oh, somehow they found out about us. Theories. About how you're pregnant. About how we got married in LA when we went to see Hayden. Nothing special," he said.

Haley turned pale almost instantly. Taylor had taken the money and informed their parents, but there were many others who knew nothing.

"Seamus will come today," she said. Nathan looked at her and frowned.

"You still haven't told him?" asked Nathan in annoyance.

"Still trying to come up with a plausible reason for it," she said in disgust. Jake subtly left and shut the door behind him as Haley rose, the sheet still around her.

"What are you hiding from? He's gone," said Nathan suggestively.

"God, get your mind out of the gutter. I have to go call-," Haley was cut off by Nathan's urgent, passionate kiss.

"You're not calling anyone," said Nathan, gently removing the sheet from her and falling onto the bed with her underneath him.

* * *

After some not so gentle persuasion, Haley managed to convince Nathan to go in to the office for the day instead of waiting around to gloat to Seamus. Haley decided it would be hard enough to explain without her husband taunting him about his "victory". 

Husband. After almost a week, it still sounded weird.

Nathan went reluctantly to the office, not daring to trust that Seamus would be entirely gentlemanly in his absence. He wanted to trust Haley, but he couldn't.

Once he was at the office, he shut himself up in his office and didn't answer even his secretary's calls. His memories were attacking him, more viciously than ever before.

_FLASHBACK_

_NAthan glanced sideways at Haley in the limo, attempting to appear neutral. Attempting to appear as if he hadn't been eagerly anticipating this day for two years._

_He put on sunglasses before helping her out of the car, hoping no one would notice Nathan Scott, the city's most eligible bachelor,entering a downtown church to get married._

_Nathan stared at Haley as they waited outside the chapel. She was wearing a white skirt and a camisole with a light jacket over top. She looked beautiful. Innocent. Virginal. Nathan couldn't help but smile the smirk that crept onto his lips._

_"We're ready for you now," said the reverend, coming out of the chapel. Nathan abruptly stood and tugged Haley toward it. For a moment she frowned in resentment, but her face quickly cleared._

_The three of them gathered at the head of the church. Jake and Ryan had arrived to witness, but they sat far back and didn't witness the scene._

_"Have you prepared your own vows?" asked the reverend._

_"No," said Nathan softly, looking sideways at Haley. How could he have possibly written down his feelings for her, when he couldn't even begin to understand them? Even if he had been able, how could he possibly do it, and risk scaring her away?_

_"Then please repeat after me. I, Nathan, take you Haley, as a sign of my love and affection."_

_Nathan didn't hesitate to repeat the vow. It had always been how he'd felt. Always._

_"For richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness, and in health."_

_They'd have their worse, they'd have their better. They'd have their sickness, they'd have their health. They'd probably never be poorer._

_"To love, honour and cherish, as long as we both shall live."_

_This line he spoke from the heart. He'd always loved her. He'd made the mistake of not cherishing her only once. He never would again._

_Nathan stared, enraptured, as Haley spoke the same vows. Deep down, he knew that she didn't truly mean them. _

_"Will you, Nathan Scott, take Haley James to be your lawfully wedded wife?" he asked._

_"I will," said Nathan. Of course he would. He would have, that first day in the country club.Taking her cold hand in his, he slid the ring on her ring finger._

_"Will you, Haley Elise James, take Nathan Scott to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Nathan held his breath. She'd signed the prenup, but he couldn't force her. This step was hers alone._

_"I will." She looked up and met Nathan's eyes. _

_"Then, with the giving and receiving of rings, in the name of the Father, the son and the Holy Spirit, I pronounce you husband and wife. Nathan, you may now kiss your bride." The reverend waited expectantly. Guiltily, Nathan thought of how poorly he'd handled their kiss in the dining room. He would have taken her right there on his table._

_Slowly, he reached out to take her hands. Gently he pulled her toward him and lowered her lips to his. _

* * *

After a lengthy conversation with Brooke, most of which consisted of admiring the dozen pictures of her son that Haley had been sent over the last few days, Haley heard a knocking on the door. Almost relieved to have it over with, she ran out to answer it. 

"What the hell, Haley?" said a voice immediately. Haley frowned guiltily when she caught sight of Seamus on the other end of the door.

"Are you going to give me a chance to explain?" she asked.

"Are you pregnant?" he asked, stepping in. Pulling her hand back, she slapped him.

"Sorry. Not really the time for that. And by the way, do you want to come in?" she asked sarcastically, after he'd stepped through the door into the marble hallway.

"I'm sorry, I don't think you get to be sarcastic right now. You're married?" he said in amazement. She shrugged uncomfortably.

"It just happened. I didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry," she said empathetically.

"You're sorry. God, I always knew you never got over him. I guess it's my fault, for getting involved with a girl who dated a Scott. Beauty, charm and money. What else can compare?" he asked, wildly gesturing around the elaborate hall. Once again, she frowned.

"It's not like that. Nathan and I have gone through a lot together. We just… have a thing," she said lamely.

"Then what was the point of those two years?" he demanded. Behind him, the door opened. Nathan entered, looking immediately to Seamus before his eyes landed on his wife.

"Hey," he said, his eyes following Seamus until he reached Haley and tilted her chin upward to brush a kiss on to her lips. Seamus looked away in disgust.

"Nathan, can you give us a minute?" she asked wearily.

"Why?" asked Nathan in surprise.

"For God's sake Nathan, you got me. I'm married to you. Now would you please go somewhere else for thirty seconds?" she snapped. Over her head, Seamus smirked at Nathan. As Nathan walked off, Haley looked up and caught his smirk.

"Oh, shut up," she said in disgust, planting a hand on her denim clad hip and giving him a glare.

Seamus waited until Nathan had left the room to speak again.

"Can I punch him?" he asked. Haley laughed wearily.

"What on Earth could that possible solve?" she asked.

"How about I try it and let you know?" suggested Seamus.

"I'd strongly suggest you don't," laughed Haley.

"Why'd you do it, Haley? Are you in love with him?" asked Seamus.

"Of course," said Haley, looking down at the floor. Seamus interpreted this gesture as a desperate attempt to hurt him less, and not as a way to tell a plausible lie.

"There's nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?" he asked. Haley looked up into his eyes, the eyes of the man that had been her rock, her everything, for two years.

"I'm sorry, Seamus. I'm so sorry I hurt you," she said. He almost smiled as he leaned forward to kiss the top of her head.

"Are you really? You're happy. It's what counts," he said. Slowly he backed out the door.

"You can come out now," said Haley. Nathan emerged from one of the doors.

"That's my competition?" he asked. Haley smiled.

"Not so much anymore," admitted Haley.

"He looks kind of like Jake," he said. Haley turned and walked toward him. Fitting herself into his arms, she put her own around his neck.

"Apparently, not my type," she said, leaning up to kiss him.

As Nathan lifted her into his arms and walked in the direction of the staircase, he reflected that it was a start. But it was far, far from all he desired.

* * *

When Haley's breathing began to slow down, and she relaxed in his arms, Nathan reasoned that she was finally asleep. He kissed her hair and tightened his hold on her, daring only to show the true lengths of his affection under the cover of night. 

His first viewing of her ex had scared him to the core. Seeing Seamus somehow made him more real, made the fact that there was someone else who'd been with her longer more painful. Gave him the undeniable knowledge that he wasn't the only man that loved the woman in his arms.

He forced himself to remember that she was in his arms, his bed. Not Seamus'. After two years Seamus hadn't had Haley in the way Nathan had, and it had only taken Nathan a night.

It wasn't everything, but it was a start.

"Are you awake?" she whispered, startling him out of his reverie.

"Yeah."

"We forgot to use protection," she murmured.

"I'm not diseased, Hales," said Nathan.

At this point, Haley seemed to fall back asleep. Nathan smiled in the darkness. He knew what she'd been talking about. He'd thought of the same thing, every time they'd done it without taking measures. Which was every time.

Looking down at her, he wondered afresh over the impact she'd had on his life. Before her, there had been Davis. After her, there had been April. And Sabrina, and Leanna, and Danielle. So many girls in a city that still managed to perceive him as homosexual. And then there was Haley. Innocent, beautiful, childlike Haley.

Haley, who was no longer a child, and no longer innocent.


	59. Outlet

Chapter Fifty-Nine: Outlet

* * *

Author's note: Thanks so much for the reviews lately. They've been 'specially good. I have something to announce: I'm pretty sure I'm going to change the rating of this to M. There's stuff coming up that definitely warrants it. If you're under 16, I still definitely think you should keep reading. Most of it will be T-ish.

* * *

Peyton groaned in annoyance when the upstairs neighbors arrived home. She haed the dorm. She wished she had friends close enough to move in with. She wished Jake had never broken up with her.

Or had she broken up with him? Sometimes it was hard to remember.

Throwing her binder in her book bag, she stomped angrily out of the room and slammed the door shut, hoping it would make the building shake.

Sighing, she looked in both directions as she stepped outside of the dorm. There was nowhere to go anywhere. For two years she'd counted on the Scott house as a silent, vaguely homelike experience, but it had all changed when Nathan had married Haley and they'd begun to go at it on every available surface. Sighing, she turned right, in the direction of the only "homelike" atmosphere she knew of.

"Peyton?" said a voice in surprise. Peyton smiled tentatively at Ryan Scott, dressed in tight, expensive sweatpants and a tank top that went low over her breasts and high across her toned stomach. Her long blonde hair was sweeping down her back, and she looked slightly tired.

"Sorry, I was just stretching. Remember I told you how I dance? Come in," she said, opening the door wider. Peyton looked around the place she hadn't set foot in over a year.

Jake came walking from the bedroom, wearing pajama pants and a wife beater. Peyton raised her eyebrows.

"Peyton. Hi. What's up?" he asked.

"I…" Peyton trailed off, feeling uncomfortable. His stomach muscles, she noted, were as impressive as always.

"Want to hang?" he asked.

"Yeah, actually. My dorm's driving me insane and Haley and Nathan are hard to be around. Vaguely akin to rabbits," she said. Ryan let out a noise of disgust.

"Hello, talking about my brother here!" she protested.

"Yeah, your poor virgin ears. Cry me a river," joked Jake.

"Shut up," she snapped, laughing.

"So, got anything PG13 you wanted to discuss?" asked Jake. Ryan scowled playfully at him.

"Do you like your new classes?" asked Peyton desperately.

"They're pretty good. I like Professor Braddock. Interesting guy," remarked Jake.

"Yeah. Plus, a total fox," said Ryan. Peyton attempted a smile.

"So Nathan's not allowed to have sex with his wife but you're happy with R rated thoughts about a professor old enough to be your father?" asked Jake.

"Dude, you're the one that slept with Davis," retorted.

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked.

"Please. It's idiotic enough that it's a comeback to any argument. Am I right, Peyton?" asked Ryan. Instantly, Peyton's mind to the image of the brunette riding the man she'd unconsciously loved all her life. Peyton looked up, hoping to silently communicate with Jake in the way they always had, but she found his eyes on Ryan again.

"Yeah. You know, I have to… go. I'm expecting a call from Brooke to follow up all the pictures she's been sending. See you," she said, exiting.

Ryan shivered as she moved to the window and watched Peyton run off down the street. What was so clear to her was somehow so foreign to them. Peyton still loved Jake, Jake still loved Peyton. Wasn't that all that mattered?

Peyton Sawyer was angry, and angrier at anyone in her line of fire. As she walked through the university, she came across a perfect outlet for her venting.

"I find your reasons for giving me a C tyrannical and unjust," fumed Peyton a moment later, having entered the office of Christian Braddock. He leaned back in his chair, linked his hands behind his head and raised his eyebrows at her, as if daring to continue.

"My thesis was in no way unclear. I stated all my sources. And what the hell was wrong with my conclusion?" demanded Peyton.

"It was sloppy. We can talk about it if you want," he said.

"I don't want to talk about it. This is insane. This is prejudiced, and insane," she shot back.

"You think I gave you a low mark because you're a W.A.S.P?" he asked.

"Or a woman. Whatever."

"Peyton, this is your first paper. Did you really expect to do well?" asked Christian.

"I'd had it on good authority that you were an easy marker," she said. He chuckled.

" They say a lot of things about me. Most of them aren't true. However, some of them are," he said.

"What other less than desirable things do they say about you?" she asked cautiously.

"Do you want me to tell you? Or do you want me to show?" he asked. After a moment of confusion, Peyton realized he was hitting on her, and pulled back in confusion.

"How do you know my name?" she asked, suddenly distracted.

"I'm good with faces," said Christian.

"Yeah, well, _apparently_ you're good at lots of things," she said, leaving angrily.

After leaving, Peyton pulled her phone out of her pocket while it vibrated. She almost smiled as she opened a text message to find yet another picture of Hayden, who was still only a few weeks old.

Putting her phone to her ear, she dialed Haley's number.

"_Hey, this is Haley and Nathan Scott. Sorry we're out right now, but we'll call you back if we like you. Bye!" _Peyton scoffed. Like they were out. She had a fairly good idea of what they were actually doing, but she didn't want to have to think about it.

Peyton dialed her phone again.

"_This is Jake Jagielski and Ryan Scott. Uh, we're not in right now, or we're doing something else that interest us more, apparently. Talk to you later."_

"_Hey, this is Brooke and Lucas Scott! Odds are we're having sex or taking care of one of our zillion kids. Seriously, it's all we ever do nowadays. Call us back!"_

Not for the first time that year, Peyton was feeling lonely. Like her best friends, she was terrible at forging new bonds. And now that Jake had Ryan, it seems that she as all he need. Peyton dialed one more number on her phone:

"Professor Braddock?" Peyton waited a moment until he responded. "Yeah, this is Peyton Sawyer…"


	60. When The Stars Are Aligned

Chapter Sixty: When the Stars Are Aligned

"You know what today is?" asked Haley, wandering into their bedroom. Nathan was already in bed, typing on his laptop, which he closed as she joined him.

"Uh, October 4th," he said.

"Duh. We've been married a month today," she said, slipping out of her dressing gown and sliding into bed beside him. He put an arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"That's true. And the media have almost stopped stalking us whenever we leave the house," said Nathan.

"I wonder when the whole newlywed sex thing will get old," she said. She squealed as he grabbed her forearms and pulled her on top of him.

"Never, I hope," he said, as she leaned down to kiss him.

"I have to say, it's a promising start, Mr. Scott," she said, tentatively kissing his ear. He smiled. His Haley was beginning to mature in so many ways.

"Damn straight, Mrs. Scott."

The next month flowed past easily. Nathan attempted to cut back on his usually long hours to spend time with her, and she'd spend the rest of the time redecorating, shopping, and hanging out with Ryan and Peyton. She didn't see Brooke or Lucas, but received pictures regularly of Devon and Hayden, who were growing rapidly. Devon was blonde haired and blue eyed like his father, but Hayden had inherited Brooke's looks.

In early November, almost two months after they had gotten married, Haley finished refurnishing their bedroom and decided to take the rest of the day off to visit with Ryan.

"I still don't get why we're always here. The house is huge and no longer ugly. I have to say, three generations of Scott trophy wives haven't had the courage to get rid of all the ugly. You got stones, girl," said Ryan proudly.

"Thanks. I think. I like this place," said Haley.

"Doesn't remind you of what you're missing?" asked Ryan, looking down to avoid her sister-in-law's eye.

"I'm not missing out. It's fun, being married. If we manage to steer clear of the whole marriage of convenience thing, it's easy," she said.

"First of all, marriage isn't supposed to be about fun. And second of all, you mean it's okay if you do nothing but have sex all the time?" asked Ryan. Haley rolled her eyes.

"I'd love to know what makes you such an expert. But come on, we talk. We just stay in a lot. Whenever we go out we get stalked by loser tabloid photographers who always manage to manufacture stories about how Nathan's still sleeping with that slutty April girl," said Haley. Ryan, knowing of the true state of her brother's marriage, smiled.

"Ha, you're totally jealous," she taunted.

"Need I remind you of a little blonde girl, referred to in certain circles as Peyt…"

"Shut up," said Ryan in annoyance, abruptly cutting her off.

"Fine. Heard from Leigh lately?" asked Haley.

"Yeah. She has a new boyfriend. Johnny, or Jimmy or something," said Ryan vaguely. Haley raised her eyebrows.

"Wow, your concern is truly touching. I thought you guys were close?"

"We were. Back when everything was all messed up. But when she stopped needing me, and Nathan got less… you know, we drifted apart again," explained Ryan.

"I don't actually know. How was Nathan?" asked Haley curiously.

"Miserable for two years. Even if he didn't have a right to be."

* * *

Haley sat on the bottom step of the winding staircase, watching the door intently. As it opened and Nathan came in, she leapt up and ran toward him.

He caught her and twirled her briefly around the hall before setting his lips on hers. She pulled back after a minute.

"If you were so miserable for two years, why didn't you at least call me?" she said.

"You've been talking to Ryan? She exaggerates," said Nathan.

"I missed you too. Maybe we could have… I don't know."

"What could have happened?" he asked.

"Not this. Ever."

"Then I can't really regret it," he said, attempting to kiss her again. She leaned back.

"Nate, are you in love with me?" she asked carefully.

He drew her in to him. Ever after Haley would think that it was to inject warmth into his cold words. She'd never know he'd done it to avoid meeting her eyes.

"I want to be."

"I know the feeling," she said, smiling sadly.

"Do you want to go out?" he asked shakily.

"No. Let's stay in," said Haley, leaning back to catch his eye.

* * *

Later, after the bedroom was dark and Nathan was almost asleep, Haley got up and wrapped her silk dressing gown around herself. She walked to the mirror and began to brush her long hair in front of it. She had something she had to discuss, and she didn't trust herself to discuss it curled up next to him, his blue eyes boring in to her.

"What're you doing?" he asked, his voice hazy.

"What are we doing, Nathan?" she asked. He seemed surprised by her question.

"What, in life?"

"Yeah. With us. What if it gets old? Will we stay and get all old and desperate, and lose our chances to find someone to love?" asked Haley.

"You read the agreement."

"Yeah, I did. And it said a lot of stuff about kids. Don't you think it's wrong, to bring kids into something like this?" she asked.

"It was wrong for my parents, and I survived. Where is this coming from, Hales?" he asked.

"I don't know. It's just I felt like I knew you two years ago, when we were in the midst of our summer lovin', but I don't know anymore. You've grown up so much, Nathan. You're such a grown up."

"You're grown up too," he said, smirking. Haley looked down and blushed, glancing at him in the mirror as she came up.

"Not like that. Trust me, I'm not worried about that part of our lives."

"What are you worried about?" Haley paused for a second.

"Regret. I don't want to wake up at forty and be resentful, regretful and desperate," she said. He rose and walked toward her.

"You'll never have to be. I promise," he said. Haley continued to look down at the wooden surface of her vanity.

"You don't get it, do you?" asked Haley, under her breath.

"Get what?"

With difficulty, Haley raised her eyes to meet his in the mirror.

"If it… it's not just me that would hurt. Not just me that you'd leave, or that would be left behind. There's someone else now, Nathan," she said bravely. He stared at her for a moment before comprehending.

"What..? You mean you're..?" Haley made eye contact with him in the mirror again and nodded slowly.


	61. We Will Become

Chapter Sixty-One: We Will Become

"God, my virgin eyes!" said Ryan Scott dramatically, entering the living room to find her sister in law straddling her brother.

"I'm all for the newlywed sex, but don't you guys ever get tired?" asked Jake, walking in behind her.

"Sorry, this is getting just a little bit too after school special-ey. What's up?" she asked, dropping into an armchair and throwing her legs over one of the arms.

"It's about to get more so," said Nathan, looking at his wife.

"What, more after school special? How is that possible?" asked Ryan. Haley turned around on Nathan's lap and leaned against his chest.

"I'm pregnant," said Haley. Ryan squealed excitedly, and Jake walked over to them. Haley hurriedly jumped up and hugged him as he approached and he hugged her, lifting her slightly off the ground.

"Congratulations baby," he said, sounding proud and amazed.

"Yeah. You know what's a good name for a girl? Ryan," said Ryan eagerly. Jake laughed.

"Or for a guy. Either way," he said, avoiding Ryan's hand as she attempted to whack him.

"Does everyone know yet?" asked Ryan.

"No, it's a recent thing. Actually we've known for a little over a month now, but the people advised us not to tell anyone because miscarriages are so frequent this early on. It's less dangerous now," said Haley.

"This is so incredible. And so much earlier than I expected!" said Ryan.

"Yeah, for us too," joked Nathan.

"In a positive way," blushed Haley.

"Very positive," agreed Nathan. As Jake released her, Nathan took Haley's hand to tug her back on to his lap. They kissed again. Ryan reached for Jake's own hand and pulled him, with reluctance on his part, out of the living room.

As soon as the door closed, Haley dropped off his lap onto the couch and pulled him on top of her.

"You think if they never visited and you didn't have to go to work, we'd ever get out of bed?" asked Haley, between kisses.

"No. Maybe I should quit," he suggested.

"It's your company, stupid," she reminded him.

"Stupid? Wow, your disses really are advancing," he teased her. Ignoring him, she stuck her hand down his pants and began to tease him right back.

* * *

"I guess pink or blue are out of the question?" said Haley. Later on in the day, they'd finally gotten off the couch to go to the paint store.

"Blue sounds fine to me…" began Nathan.

"It's totally a girl. We have a connection, I can feel these things," she said smugly. He laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Green? Nice and neutral?" he suggested.

"And vomit inducing. Yellow?"

"Sounds good," he said. They picked out a colour and purchased the paint before heading out to purchase a shiny white crib, sheets, bed linens, a rocking chair and a changing table. After some very slight urging on the employee's part, they also bought a stroller, a high chair and what seemed to be half the stuffed animals in the store.

"Kid's going to be spoiled," said Haley, watching the total appear as Nathan handed the clerk his credit card.

"Lucky guy. Girl," he said, correcting himself hurriedly as he saw his wife's hand move to hit him playfully.

* * *

"You know what I never realized before today? I am like the worst painter in history," said Haley in amazement, attempting to paint the trim white.

"Well, you learn something new every day. Baby's still six months away," he reminded her.

"Enough time to get professional house painting lessons?" she asked eagerly.

"Enough time for us to fix this," he said critically. She blushed.

"Poor baby. Already stuck with such a tragic life…"

"She'll be a Princess. Eldest child, a Scott girl, an only child? We'll be lucky if we don't end up spoiling her rotten," said Nathan.

"She doesn't have to be the only. You'd think she'd get lonely," said Haley. Nathan smiled.

"I know I would have."

"Then I guess you're lucky you have me!" said Haley, splattering white paint on him as she spoke.

"Well, I'm always lucky about that," he said, peeling off his now paint covered shirt. Haley noted his muscles and smiled before taking off her own shirt.

"This is so wrong…" said Nathan, as she fell on top of him to the floor.

* * *

Haley frowned as she tried to decipher the grayish image on the screen in front of her. It was coming along, she had to admit. In the beginning, their baby had only been a speck, vaguely peanut shaped. Now, it almost resembled a human baby.

"She's got a big head," said Haley.

"That'll change as it grows. Do you want me to leave you and your husband alone, Mrs. Scott?" asked the doctor. Haley nodded distractedly, her eyes still fast on the screen. She reached over and linked her fingers with Nathan's.

"He's growing fast," remarked Nathan.

"I wonder if she'll have Scott eyes?" said Haley. Nathan smiled, his own Scott eyes twinkling.

"She'll be gorgeous. And he'll have everything," promised Nathan.

"And we'll have her," said Haley, laughing at Nathan's pronouns.

"I just made it sound like we're having two babies, didn't I?" asked Nathan. Haley nodded, giggling.

"Disturbing thought. I want them more spaced out," she said sternly. Nathan kissed her knuckles and grinned as his eyes caught the image on the screen.


	62. Honestly Over You

Chapter Sixty-Two: Honestly Over You

A few weeks later, Peyton smiled as she read about the upcoming Scott child. Happy for her friends, she wished she'd heard from them directly. But Haley had been calling her all month, and it was hardly her fault that Peyton had never responded. So many times, Peyton had been tempted to call her and tell her that Nathan had always loved her, that his marriage of convenience was merely a convenient lie.

She remembered the days when Haley had counted her amongst her best friends. She remembered the days of Brooke, Haley, and Peyton, together forever.

She remembered the days of Jake and Peyton.

Peyton wasn't able to stop another memory coursing through her brain…

* * *

"_I'm glad you called me," said Christian. Peyton nodded._

"_I don't know why I did."_

"_I think you do," he said, sitting down across from her. Dressed less casually than while giving his lectures, he was wearing blue jeans and an unbuttoned black shirt over a wife beater._

"_This is wrong. You'd get fired," she said, staring at her hands._

"_For what, helping out a student in my home? For giving you extra tuition?"_

"_You know for what," she said, finally looking up to him. God, he was attractive. And absolutely nothing like Jake._

"_I'd like to," he said. As he stood, she rose. She didn't know what had made her do so. They met in the middle of the room and kissed._

* * *

Peyton fell onto her bed and shut her eyes tightly. She was beginning to be the kind of girl she'd always detested-the kind who used people for their own whims, the kind of girl who hated herself for it. 

Or rather, hated Ryan for it. Peyton had become quite adept at hating Ryan for her troubles. Deep down, Peyton knew that Ryan was a victim. That she wasn't with Jake, that she never would be. That Ryan would be forever getting hurt over Jake's love for Peyton.

Because he did still love her. Though he might stop if he'd know what she was doing.

After what had now been so many years, she longed for release. Jake had left her a year and a half previously, but she still felt like they were one.

Maybe the simple truth was the most heartbreaking: that their love was like so many, perfect in theory, but didn't actually work in practice.

Or maybe their love wasn't love at all?

As they usually tended to do, these thoughts sent her to Christian Braddock's apartment that night.

Peyton, sitting naked on his bed with her knees drawn up to her chest, watched as he re-entered the room.

"I don't normally do things like this," she said abruptly.

"What?"

"This. I'm a good person. I don't normally sleep with my professors. You're only the third guy I've even been with," she said.

"Okay. Usually I go for women closer to my age as well," he said, sitting down next to her.

"I'm never going to love you," she said.

"I know that. I don't expect that. If I thought that was going to happen, I'd never have gotten involved with you," he said.

"That's disgusting. This is disgusting, it's so wrong, it's…" Christian's kiss cut her words off abruptly. She put her arms around him as he angled her underneath him on the bed, and let her eyes slid closed as he began to kiss down her neck.

* * *

Ryan looked up from her laptop as she saw Jake drop the phone on the table in frustration. 

"What'd it ever do to you?" she asked. He looked up at her and smiled.

"I've been trying to call Peyton. She's never around anymore, do you notice? And she always looks so desperate," he said. Ryan smiled. In her cramming mode, with her hair in braids, she'd never looked so young to him.

"I'm sure she's fine," said Ryan.

"I'm not. I should go over there," he said, grabbing his coat. At once, Ryan sprang up and ran over to grab his arm.

"Don't. It won't solve anything. You need to trust her, if you ever want to…"

"Yeah. But it's hard, not being in her life," said Jake.

"You will be again," promised Ryan, trying harder than she ever had before to keep her emotions out of her face.

Instinctively, Jake reached out and took her in his arms. Ryan's conscious told her to get out. Knowing that just briefly, he was pretending that she was Peyton.

* * *

Peyton stared up at the ceiling, exhausted and disgusted with herself. To her left, her lover moved slightly, indicating to her that he was still awake. 

"How do you know Ryan Scott?" he asked eventually.

"Through her brother," said Peyton briefly.

"Nathan? How do you know him?"

"Through his wife. Haley and I grew up together. You know Lucas Scott's wife, Brooke? Her cousin is Davis Ryan, and a few summers ago they all came to town. To Tree Hill, where I grew up. Brooke and Haley hooked up with them. Ryan came later, and got close to my ex, Jake. Eventually Brooke and Haley got married to Lucas and Nathan, and Jake moved in with Ryan, so our lives are all interlocked."

"Jake Jagielski? He's with Ryan?"

"Not exactly. I mean, it's supposedly platonic. They're just really… close," said Peyton.

"Like you used to be."

"Yeah. I guess," she said uncomfortably. He watched her as she rose from the bed and began to dress.

"What are you doing here if you're still in love with Jake, Peyton?" asked Christian.

"I'm not," she said, bring forth her constantly practiced, instant denial.

"Then why do you care about his relationship with the beautiful blonde?" asked Christian. Peyton scowled.

"The Scotts have hurt my best friends in ways you could never imagine. I'm not going to let it happen to him," she said. He watched her go, feeling her lie as keenly as she had.


	63. Not As Smoothly As We Planned

Chapter Sixty-Three: Not as Smoothly As We Planned

"Right where I left you," said Nathan with satisfaction. He dropped his briefcase on the floor, staring at where she was lying, tangled in their sheets.

"I called Brooke. I did some painting. Not much else," she admitted, her hand stroking her belly, which had recently begun to grow.

"I'm not complaining," he said, dropping onto the bed and propping himself on top of her.

"And I went out. To City Hall," she said.

"Why?"

"To change my name," she said.

"Really? I always liked Haley," he said. Her hand, which had been sliding through his short hair, caressing his neck, suddenly pinched.

"Idiot. To Scott," she said uncomfortably. As he leaned down to kiss her, she wrapped one leg around him.

"Haley…"

"No, wait, stop. I need cash for tomorrow and the banks are closed, and I don't want to have to find a sugar daddy," she said.

"I don't want you to, either. In my pocket," he instructed her. He frowned. When he forced himself to think of it, the only reason she'd come to him was for his money. Really there marriage was shameless gold digging, legalized prostitution.

Haley reached down to pull his wallet out of his pocket, stroking him briefly as she did so.

His heart lurched as she opened it and dropped the contents on the bed beside her. Out of it fell money, a spare credit card. And one item besides.

She sorted the money she'd need into a pile and prepared to put the rest back into the wallet. Nathan held his breath while her fingers sought a small, worn piece of paper.

"What's this?" she asked in amusement, before turning it over. Both of them studied it for a moment: Haley was featured prominently in the middle, her arms around Peyton and Brooke, all at age sixteen.

"You've carried this around for two years?" she asked weakly. The force she applied to her hands while she pushed him off of her wasn't enough, but he rolled off anyways.

"Haley…"

"You said you'd carry it around so I'd know you'd never let go. For God's sake Nathan, I let go a year and a half ago. This isn't… We aren't…" He attempted to put his hands on her shoulders to draw her in to him again, but she struggled violently at him until he released her.

"I did. But now…"

"You're still in love with me, aren't you? You've always loved me. You spent two years brooding about me while I was with Seamus. You did this to get me with you. You tricked me. You knew I needed it. You lied to me. God, and I fell for it. How could I be so stupid? I always knew you loved me. It always was your Achilles heel. What kind of person thinks of this kind of thing, Nathan? What kind of person sees the woman they love after two years, asking for help, and hoodwinks her into a way that she has to be with you, whether she likes it or not?" demanded Haley.

"I'm sorry."

"But you know Nathan, you don't love me. You couldn't possibly. Get out," she said, spitting out the last words bitterly.

"This is my house," he said.

"Fine. Then I'll leave. But wait, that would go against your plans? Wouldn't it?" she asked. As she made to rip the photograph, he tore it from her hands and stuffed it back into his wallet before getting off the bed and walking out.

* * *

The next day at his desk, Nathan groaned and attempted to block out the image of Haley, her face angry at his betrayal. He hadn't done anything. He'd only ever committed the crime of loving her unto infinity. Like it was his fault. 

His traitorous mind flashed to the image of her eighteen year old self at the country club, the first day he'd seen her. The first day he'd known. Then to the image of her that day in the café, amidst their perfect first kiss. Finally to her half naked self, lying in his hotel bed the day he'd lost her love for him forever.

"Mr. Scott? Is something wrong?" asked his new secretary nervously. He looked up at her and pasted on a smile.

"Nothing's wrong. Do you have something for me?" he asked. She smiled.

"The numbers for the paper you bought last month. It's doing well. And your wife is here," she said.

"Perfect," he muttered.

"Did something happen?" she asked in concern. Nathan looked up at her. Her name was Deb Lee. He'd hired her two weeks previously. She was blonde, and fairly attractive for someone his mother's age. In addition to this, she already gave off vibes of being maternal.

"No. Send her up. And tell her she doesn't have to wait at the desk from now on, she can come up without waiting," he said.

"I have a son your age. He confused me just as much," she said before she nodded in her confusion and left the office.

Nathan leaned back and stared at Haley as she entered. His wife was wearing jeans and a thin sweater that scooped down to give him a hint of cleavage.

"Don't worry, it doesn't bother me. I mean, people fall in love all the time. It's pretty commonplace. Lying about it is pretty bad, but I can let that slip," she said.

"What?" he said in confusion. Somehow he'd expected it to affect his wife, the knowledge that he loved her, like it had the previous night.

"It's no biggie. Like I said, love happens everyday. You know what doesn't happen everyday? Lasting love. People still being in love when they're old and wrinkly and blue haired. That's what we're missing Nathan," she said coolly.

"Haley, what made you so cold?" he asked. She looked up, her large brown eyes meeting his.

"What do you think, Nathan? You did," she said.

"I'm going to love you forever," he promised her. She rolled her eyes.

"We'll talk in thirty years," she said.

"Yes, we will. And on that day I'll love you as much as I do now. I know that, Haley. When I tell you I love you, it's not to flatter your vanity, or keep you around for just a little bit longer. It's because I love you. You've never really accepted this, and it's about time you did," he said. As he'd done the first time he'd told her he loved her, Nathan grasped her by the shoulders. Haley gasped in surprise as he pulled her roughly to him and kissed her passionately.

As she'd somehow managed to do the first time she'd kissed him, Haley broke away. Touching her lips with her fingers, remembering the brief heat of his lips.

"I can't. Not right now. I have to think," she said. Her hand fell to her stomach.

"Okay." His voice was quiet and submissive. She turned to leave but paused at the door, her hand on its frame.

"But don't worry," she said. They met eyes, and he made a half step toward her before her eyes stopped him.

"I'm still your girl." Haley tossed her long hair over her shoulder. "Nothing's about to change that."


	64. Sympathetic Eyes

Chapter Sixty-Four: Sympathetic Eyes

Ideally, Haley would have called to Brooke to pour out her heart. But Brooke was under the impression that Haley was blissfully in her love with her husband.

So Haley called the first alternate.

"Well, duh," said Peyton, after listening to Haley tell her everything.

"What?"

"Of course Nathan's in love with you. He's always been. He spent two years miserably regretting not following you to Brown," she said.

"Idiot," she said.

"I always thought so. But then, he is a man," said Peyton wryly.

"Damn, too bad Davis can't hear you now," joked Haley.

She was surprised when Peyton abruptly hung up the phone. Didn't Peyton understand that Haley needed to vent?

Haley slowly put down the phone and wandered over to her bed. Through the open door, she could see their child's room, still in complete disarray. She remembered that she'd have to stay married to him at the very least for another year. For the first time, she wished they'd been more careful.

She didn't need to see him to know he'd arrived.

"Get out," she said quietly, once she'd felt his presence in her doorway.

He slowly advanced in to her room.

"Here," he said. Reaching around her, he dropped a package in her lap. A jewelry box. She flicked it open to reveal an expensive pair of diamond earrings. She closed it again and dropped it on the side table.

"Thanks. Because I just didn't feel enough like a whore," she said bitterly.

"You're not a whore."

Haley turned to him, and Nathan saw for the first time that she was crying.

"Aren't I? You gave me money to marry you. You're giving me goods to say with you. And the whole sex aspect kind of falls in to place," she said.

"Don't think about it like that," he pleaded her.

"And now you're telling me what to do. Well, I guess it's your right," she said.

"Your sister would be dead if it weren't for me," he said.

"Well I guess it's better than me dying slowly," she spat out, standing. She made to move for the door, but he caught her upper arm.

"We're not finished yet," he said.

"I think we are. Let go of me," she said, her voice trembling slightly.

"Make me," he said threateningly.

Nathan released his grip as Haley sunk her long, manicured fingernails in his hand.

"Careful what you wish for," she said. Taking a step away from him, she ran outside to the balcony, firmly closing the glass door behind her. As the raindrops began to fall, she put her elbows on the wrought iron rail and buried her face in her hands.

Nathan slowly walked to the doors and stared at her. The rain slowly stuck her satin dressing gown to her legs, and plastered her hair to her flesh.

The door creaked slightly as he pushed it open and he joined her on the balcony amidst the pouring rain. He walked to her and put a hand on her elbow.

"Go away," she said, shaking him off.

"Get inside, Haley," he said authoritatively.

"Don't tell me what to do, Nathan. I'm not yours to order around," she said. Most of her anger having evaporated, she didn't protest when he angled her to facehim.

"But you are, Haley. You've always been. You promised me once," he said. She shook slightly, a mixture of the cold and of the powerful memory.

"Get off of me," she said dismissively. She retreated a few more steps, but he followed her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her in to him.

"I love you," he said. She resisted weakly as he kissed her.

"You don't…" she murmured. As the raindrops began to coat his skin and obstruct his vision, he found his way into her dressing gown. "Nice and bare. I like it."

"Pig," she said. She let out an unwilling gasp of pleasure, and briefly clung to him.

"Don't," he said. Her hair was plastered to her back. Her dressing gown was stuck to her body, showing clearly her black lace bra. Her skin was smooth and drenched by the falling rain.

His shirt was equally plastered, showing his clear muscles distinctly.

"You're wet all the way through, aren't you?" asked Nathan, speaking quietly into her ear.

"You'll never make me love you," she said threateningly. In one movement, he drew her in by the arm around her waist and crushed his lips onto hers.

Haley put her arms around his neck and clung to him. Nathan interrupted their kiss by sweeping her into his arms and advancing back toward their bedroom. He kicked the door open and dropped her onto the bed.

Their slick bodies moved in sync. Underneath him, Haley shed her clothing, letting all of her slick, naked flesh touch all of his. Feeling his desperate need of her course through him, he trapped her wrist in his hands above her head and thrust inside of her.

Haley arched her body toward his, knowing that even with the control of her hands, she couldn't control her emotions around him.

* * *

It didn't take long for Nathan to put the puzzle pieces together the next morning when he awoke without Haley. This was payback. 

After a brief search, he found her where they'd started. Sitting on the rail of the balcony, facing outward.

"Get down. I know a few people who'd be seriously put out if you fell to your death," he said.

"I can't leave, can I? There's no release. You've caught me, fairly affectively. Good show," she said, turning around and slipping off the rail. For the briefest instant, he caught a glimpse of her slightly pregnant stomach.

"Is there anything I can do to make you want to stay?" he asked. She looked up at him and flung her blonde hair away from her face.

"I don't know, Nathan. But last night you proved you're pretty damn good at getting me to do whatever you want," she said. Putting an arm around his neck, she pulled him down for a kiss.

"Let's go inside. We're shocking the neighbours," he said.

"They could do with some shock," she said. She briefly imagined how they'd looked last night, their slick bodies plastered together, him carrying her to their bed.

Something in her called out to him, and forced her into doing things she couldn't explain. She never had understood it.


	65. The Outsider

Chapter Sixty-Five: The Outsider

Ryan sighed softly as Jake's fingers slowly combed through her hair. Her head was in his lap, and they were watching TV, being pathetically hermitlike for the evening.

She tried even harder to concentrate on the television. He made it so difficult. Jake had done nothing to her life but ruin it since he'd entered her world so long ago. Before him, she'd had no one. Now he was her everything.

And she was his. It could not be denied that Jake needed Ryan as much as Ryan needed Jake, in a completely different fashion.

"Do you want to do this again tomorrow, or..?" asked Jake. She guiltily swallowed the lump in her throat.

"No. I kind of have a date," she admitted.

"Nice. Bring him by and I'll get him all scared for you," said Jake. She attempted a half smile, knowing he couldn't even see her face.

"Thanks, I guess," she said uncertainly. She sometimes wondered how he didn't know. How she could have lived with him for over a year without him realizing she was desperately, tragically and irrevocably in love with him.

* * *

Ryan was still in her pajamas when Jake wandered into the kitchen the next morning. He smiled at the sight he'd seen so many times before: Ryan, in her camisole and boxers, flipping pancakes in a frying pan. 

"You want in?" she asked, without turning around.

"We got the real syrup?" he asked.

"Yeah, I bought some the other day. It's your turn to shop now," she said sternly.

"Fine, I'll go tonight. We have class?" he asked.

"English lit, Professor Braddock at nine. You should get dressed," she said. She took a shakey breath and slid her eyes closed as he came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and firmly kissed the top of her head.

"What would I do without my Ryan?" he asked.

"Just hope you'll never have to find out," she said jokingly, as he left. Jokingly. As if she'd ever joke about a thing like that. As if any touch she'd ever given or received with him had ever been a joke.

Jake and Ryan took seats midway up the hall for their lecture. Closer to the front, Ryan could see Peyton's curly blonde head.

She sighed as Christian walked in to the class and immediately sought her out. They were having an affair, Ryan knew. She'd known for months. Part of her was aching with desire to tell him, the other part aching with the pain he'd feel if he were ever to find out.

Sometimes Ryan cursed herself for being a good person. None of the rest of them were. Jake, Peyton, Haley, Nathan, Brooke and Lucas all had definite not so good aspects. All of them had undertones of manipulation, even cruelty. Ryan was the only good apple in the bunch. Innocent, reliable Ryan, relied upon to be perfect.

Ryan rested her head on Jake's shoulder and instantly felt his arm encircle her shoulders. He tortured her, unknowingly, and she craved it.

"I like him. He's good," said Jake decidedly, as class finished. Ryan glanced backwards to see Peyton converse with their professor in low tones.

"Jake-," she said, sudden, having suddenly decided.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Nothing. I like him too," she said.

"Crazy girl," he said fondly. "Come on, we have to go back. We have to visit Nathan and Haley."

Ryan groaned. Recently, visiting the feuding couple had become less than a pleasure.

"Do you think they'll get better when they have the kid?" she asked hopefully.

"I think they'll get better when she admits to loving him," he said.

"Do you really think she does?"

"Of course. I've never doubted it," he said, taking her hand to lead her back to the apartment. She stiffened slightly, but let him keep it. Of course.

* * *

"What about this one?" asked Ryan nervously, appearing in the Haley for the third time. When he circled in he air with his pointer finger, she obediently twirled around for him. 

"You look beautiful, babe," he said honestly. "But take your hair down. It's particularly shiny today."

Ryan playfully stuck her tongue out at him. She was wearing a black skirt that went just past her knees and a sheer pink blouse that partially showed the camisole underneath.

"He's not going to know what hit him," said Jake.

"He will if it's your fist," said Ryan, rummaging in the closet for a pair of shoes.

"If he's a perfect gentlemen, he won't have to," said Jake.

Both turned to the door as it rang.

"Well," said Ryan, moving toward it. "Here goes nothing."

* * *

"How was it?" asked Jake once she'd returned later that evening. 

"Fine. Nice. We saw a movie. Go to bed, you look exhausted," she said. He nodded and shuffled off. As he closed his door, Ryan went back out and down the stairs.

Lingering by the front door of the building, Ryan wondered why she still bothered. Why she still lived with someone who brought her so much pain.

She gasped as she saw a familiar figure approach. Peyton looked just as surprised to see her as Ryan was to see Peyton.

"Jake's inside," she said stiffly.

"That's okay. I wanted to talk to you, anyway," said Peyton. It occurred to her that they were equally jealous of each other, and for all the wrong reasons.

"What?" she asked coolly. Peyton stared at her for a second.

"You know. Why won't you tell him? End my fucking torment?" demanded Peyton.

"It's not my torment to end. And I'm not about to cause Jake to hurt," she said.

"Of course not. Precious Jake…"

"For God's sake, why do you think you deserve it? Why do you still think I'm going to go in and end your troubles for you? They're your problems. Not his, and certainly not mine," said Ryan.

"You know, I thought you were the good one. I thought you'd help me. I guess I was wrong," she said.

"I am the good one. Any of the rest of them would have told him by now to reap the reward for themselves. But it wouldn't be enough to make him stop loving you," said Ryan.

"Yeah, but it might be enough to make him start loving you," taunted Peyton.

"You sick slut. I always used to think you were a good person. I guess I really am too naïve," said Ryan. She reeled as Peyton reached back and slapped her hard across the cheek.

Ryan ran up the stairs to where Peyton could never enter. To the inner circle of their lives. Pausing at Jake's door, she watched him sleep. His covers only half covered his muscular chest. Sometimes, she'd get in to bed with him and they'd sleep all night together.

But it only seemed to make her more irrevocably a child in his eyes.


	66. Confidante

Chapter Sixty-Six: Confidante

* * *

Author's note: I'd like to shout out to my "regulars"-those of you I can count on for a review every chapter (or for most of the chapters). Ali-Chan1, beachiegall, CCScott23, jeyton4ever, iftheyonlyknewthetruth, lilmonkeygirl31, lysster8312, TommyQismine, luv24+alias, anime4U2, Ababy99, anarchist278, brookenlucas12. Thanks so much, I really appreciate it. And so sorry if I forgot your name...

* * *

"Babe, take Devon. He's just too heavy," said Brooke. In a practiced motions, they switched their sleeping sons. Taking a covert glance around the airplane, Brooke swiftly unbuttoned her shirt and brought Hayden to her breast as he began to whine. 

"Haley and Nathan really don't need two kids under three in their house right now, do they?" said Lucas, laughing.

"Who does?" she asked. He put his hand comfortingly on her arm.

"It's been months since we've seen them. I heard they redid the house and everything. I can't wait," she said eagerly. Lucas looked sideways at his wife and smiled.

"Me neither. Too bad Leigh couldn't be there," said Lucas. Brooke subtly wrinkled her nose. She'd never understood her husband's connection with prickly, misunderstood Leigh.

As Hayden fell asleep in her arms, Brooke laid her head on his shoulder and finally began to sleep as well until they landed in New York.

After the private jet landed, they were escorted into a company car, which drove them to the Scott townhouse. When they arrived, Lucas lead Devon up the steps by the hand, and Brooke carried a still sleeping Hayden.

"Haley?" called Brooke into the still house. Nathan came down the steps first, looking weary.

"Luke. Brooke. It's good to see you," he said. As Nathan hugged his brother, Devon fell back shyly. Brooke handed Hayden to Lucas, and Nathan gratefully hugged his sister-in-law.

"Are you okay, Nate?" she asked worriedly.

"Yeah. Haley'll be down in a sec," he said. After a moment Haley did appear, heavily pregnant on the magnificent staircase. The other three Scotts smiled as she ascended them as gracefully as she was able.

"Wow, they've gotten so big. Brooke, I missed you," said Haley honestly, awkwardly embracing her best friend and her brother-in-law.

"We missed you too, kid. You look great," said Lucas.

"Let's go sit down," said Nathan, putting an arm on his wife's back to lead the six of them to the living room. Haley resisted the temptation to shake him off.

The four of them arranged themselves around the coffee table. Haley leaned against Nathan on the couch, attempting to get comfortable.

"The house looks great," said Brooke, remembering the dark, somber place she'd spent so much of her time at.

"Yeah. If it was like this when we were young I wouldn't have wanted to leave at eighteen," joked Lucas.

"Is Peyton coming? And Jake and Ryan?" asked Brooke. Haley laughed.

"You'll be lucky if you see Peyton while you're here. But Ryan and Jake should come soon. You should see them, they operate like a single unit," she said.

"What, they're together?" asked Lucas, instantly turning on his protective brother feelings.

"God no. Just close. Um, I want to go to bed now. Brooke, come on, we'll talk," said Haley, accepting Nathan's hand as he jumped up to help her rise.

The two girls walked along the corridor. Brooke looked suspiciously at Haley. Despite having two boys, Brooke was basically the same slender, fashionable beauty she'd been in high school. Haley somehow was infinitely different.

With ease after her own pregnancies, Brooke settled her in to bed.

"I have something I have to tell you," said Haley.

"What is it? Something with Nathan?" she asked, instantly concerned.

"Of course. It's always him," said Haley bitterly.

"What? Honeymoon's over?" asked Brooke sympathetically.

"God, if it ever started. We've never exactly been conventional," she admitted.

"Well duh. He's him, you're you, of course-," Brooke was abruptly cut off by Haley.

"Not like that. We only were ever married for convenience. I needed money, and he said he needed a trophy wife for his image, so we got married. And had all this sex, and I got pregnant. And it all seemed fairly ideal, until I found out he was in love with me all along," said Haley. Brooke took a moment to absorb this.

"So what's the problem? You can live happily ever after now," said Brooke.

"I'm not in love with him," said Haley.

"Please. No one can pine like you and not be in love. It's impossible. You're in denial. And pissed off because he lied," said Brooke.

"I'm not. I mean, I can't be. I want to be in love with him. Desperately. I mean, I keep waiting for it to happen and it just keeps not happening. I'm carrying his child. It kind of makes the whole thing more permanent," she said. Brooke frowned.

"You could be so much worse off. You have a man you loves him. You're going to have a baby," said Brooke.

"I just feel so lost. I can't trust him any more, and I don't have Peyton, and Ryan is too blinded by love to think of anything but her pain, and Jake is too blind, and you're across the county," said Haley.

"I wish I could be here with you," said Brooke fervently.

"I need you. So often, I wish us back in the old days. Remember the four of us? The five of us, I guess? We were all so close. Now Peyton doesn't return my calls, you and I are married, Jake has two beautiful blondes in love with him," said Haley.

"I remember."

"It was easier. But I guess nothing could have made those days stay," said Haley.

"I used to wish sometimes that they'd never come to Tree Hill. I don't anymore," said Brooke. She smiled at Lucas as he passed the open door.

"I can't. Not with the baby on the way. God, I can't believe that after all this time I'm about to give birth to Nathan Scott's child," said Haley in amazement.

"Yes you can. We all can believe. You've always known, haven' t you? That your futures were intertwined?" asked Brooke.

"I said so once, to Ryan. On what was going to be the eve of my wedding, before Hayden was born. Poor Ryan. Some days I think she's worse off than us," said Haley.

"It's pretty odd, that the three Scotts came to Tree Hill that summer and ended up falling in love with three of the five of our set. And Davis, with Peyton," said Brooke. Haley glanced sideways at her friend.

"God, you know you're desperate when you wish Davis Ryan would come back to town to sort out our mess," laughed Haley.

After a moment, Brooke joined her. Because sometimes, all you could do was laugh.


	67. Perfect Fit

Chapter Sixty-Seven: Perfect Fit

"Where are you going?" asked Nathan, his protective instincts instantly aroused when he saw his pregnant wife prepare to go out. She scowled at him over her shoulder.

"Out. With Brooke and the boys," she said

"Come on Haley, cut me some slack. It's been months, and you're about to go in to labour," he said.

Haley left silently. As she walked, one hand unconsciously wrapped around her round stomach. He sighed. She was everything to him, she carried even more, and currently she wouldn't have cared if he dropped off the face of the Earth.

Brooke joined her in the entrance hall, pushing a stroller and herding Devon with her hand.

"I'll push," volunteered Haley. Brooke smiled gratefully.

"Thanks. Lucas and I never dare to venture out alone. You sure you're feeling okay? You don't want to stay home and rest?" asked Brooke worriedly.

"I'm not due for another two weeks, I'm fine. And I need to get out of here. It's so oppressive," said Haley.

"Do you guys still have sex?" asked Brooke, as they began to move down the street.

"Brooke, I'm pregnant," she said blushing.

"I know. That's how it happens," she said. Haley smiled.

"Not really. We did like hourly for the first part, and then I found out he loved me and we did it like all night, which was sort of a rain induced accident, but since then we've barely touched," she said.

"I was so horny during my pregnancies," said Brooke, sounding sympathetic.

"Me too. But I just can't. And I feel so guilty. I hate that," she said.

"It's not your fault you're so loveable," said Brooke.

"Do you guys still? As much as you ever did?" asked Haley.

"As much as we can. We're pretty busy. But yeah. We've always been active. It's what originally brought us together," said Brooke. The sunlight caught the diamond on her ring finger, and Haley scrutinized her own ring.

"Aren't we too young for this?" asked Haley.

"What, falling in love? Having babies? I don't know about you, but I'd wanted to fall in love again since Mouth left. I just never thought I would. And you, Haley? You've never felt for anyone what you felt, and still feel, for Nathan. If you really didn't want to, you wouldn't have married him. You'd have lived asexually, or worn protection. You would have left him when you found he'd betrayed you. You'd have kept your name. But you did none of these things. So I guess I have to make the obvious conclusion… Haley?" Brooke stopped her tirade and glanced backward, to where Haley was clutching Devon's hand and standing in a puddle of water. Brooke's eyes widened and she instantly opened her cell phone.

"Nathan? We're just down the block. Get the car down here, Haley's in labour. And bring Lucas," she said desperately in to the phone. She backtracked to where Haley was standing, looking terrified.

"Breathe. You'll be fine. You'll be more than fine, you're just about to have a baby. Nathan's on his way," said Brooke. Brooke lifted her elder son into her arms as the dark shiny car pulled up to the curb. Nathan leapt out, ran toward them and immediately lifted Haley into his arms. Disregarding their relationship of the last few months, Haley clung to him as he carried her to the car and laid her across the seat. Brooke handed Devon to Lucas, in the front seat, and entered the back with Hayden, watching her sister-in-law in concern.

* * *

"This is my wife, Haley Scott. She's in labour. She started having contractions in the car," said Nathan to the nurse. 

"We'll get her a room immediately, Mr. Scott. You'll be joining her?" she asked, looking slightly awed and amazed to see so many Scotts in the hospital.

"Yes, of course," he said.

"How are you feeling, Mrs. Scott?" asked the nurse.

"I could use an Advil," said Haley, wincing as she had another contraction. Nathan glanced at his watch and began to time it.

"Dude, calm down," said Lucas, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. Nathan looked between his two nephews.

"Easy for you to say. Did someone call Jake and Ryan?" he asked. Brooke nodded.

"They're coming. Look, they're ready for her," said Lucas, as a nurse with a wheelchair arrived for Haley.

Someone handed Nathan a set of scrubs, and he followed her chair down the hall. Brooke and Lucas laced their hands together as they watched them go.

"We really are growing up," said Brooke, almost sadly. Lucas smiled at her. Some days, she couldn't help but blame him for it.

Ryan and Jake arrived moments later. Settling down into uncomfortable chairs, the six of them waited for hours until Nathan ran in and announced the birth of their daughter.

* * *

"It's a girl!" said the doctor, as Haley pushed for the final time, and the doctor caught the reddish baby. 

Nathan watched as they washed his daughter and cut her umbilical cord. He glanced back to Haley, her eyes moist. He dropped into a chair by her bed and took her hand.

"Good job, Babe. She's beautiful," he said. Haley turned to him and smiled slowly. Caught in the moment, he lifted her hand to his lips before leaning in to kiss her.

"She's got dark hair," said Haley, watching her daughter after she broke away from her husband.

"Do you two have a name ready?" asked the doctor, watching them intently.

"Eva Elizabeth Scott," said Nathan, reciting the name they'd chosen in one of their few tender moments over the last months.

"Pretty. Here," she said, handing the baby to Haley.

Her eyes filled with tears as her arms curled around her infant daughter. The baby, wrapped tightly in her blanket, was unable to move, and looked completely exhausted, almost as exhausted as Haley felt. Nathan cautiously touched her hand, and Eva's fingers curled around his.

"You should go tell everyone," said Haley, her eyes fast on her daughter.

"Yeah. Yeah, I should," he said, kissing her forehead before departing.

Nathan raced out to get his sister, his brother, his brother's wife, and Jake. The five of them went back to the room, and gained admittance purely based on their social status.

"It's a girl. I was convinced Hayden would be a girl," said Brooke happily, watching her niece.

Ryan laughed appreciatively, and knelt to better examine the new baby. Haley noticed her glance briefly at Jake. She wondered what was worse: loving someone who'd never love you, or being loved by someone you could never love.

"It's a pretty name," she said eventually.

Haley reached out and placed her hand on Ryan's cheek. The younger girl looked up in surprise, and attempted a look of naivety on her face.

"Ry, you look exhausted. Take her home, Jake?" asked Nathan. Ryan stood, looking slightly exhausted. Noting this, Jake instantly adopted the protective older brother look that Nathan was wearing.

"Yeah. I'll call Leigh," she said, leaning on Jake as he put an arm around her to lead her out.

Nathan took the seat by her bed again and carefully took his daughter into his own arms. Rocking her slightly, he smiled when she opened her eyes briefly and revealed them to be big blue, Scott eyes.

"She's so beautiful," said Brooke reverently.

"We'd like you two to be godparents," said Haley, looking up at them.

"We'd be honoured," said Lucas, speaking for himself and his wife.

"Mrs. Scott, we'll take the baby now. You should rest," said a nurse sternly. Nathan smiled to himself when Brooke and Haley turned to her simultaneously. Nathan handed the baby to the nurse.

Lucas and Brooke stood to go, and Nathan made to join them. Haley caught his hand.

"Stay with me? Please?" she said. He immediately stood and took her hand again.

"Always," he promised her.


	68. Blast From the Past

Chapter Sixty-Eight: Blast From the Past

* * *

Author's note: I apologize in advance...

* * *

After Haley, Nathan and Eve settled back into a daily routine, Brooke and Lucas took Devon and Hayden back home, to LA.

Once the four of them had slept off their jet-lag, Lucas volunteered to watch both of their boys for the day while Brooke went out to go shopping.

Walking back home through the park, she dropped onto a bench and watched as three boys played a game of soccer with their father. Mentally, she wished that seeing Eve being born in New York didn't stir up any paternal feelings in Lucas. Brooke didn't want more kids. Peeking happily into the box of a new pair of shoes, she knew she had everything she wanted in life.

Her eyes were drawn to a tall figure, walking past on the path. She frowned in slight recognition, trying to figure out where she recognized him from. Suddenly, it came to her.

"Oh my God, Chris?" she said in amazement.

Chris Keller stopped abruptly and eyed the figure on the bench.

"Shit, Brooke? How are you?" he said. She leapt up and gave him a hug, disregarding the circumstances of him leaving.

"I'm great. God, where have you been? I haven't seen you since you left," she said.

"Here, mostly. I tour around a lot. You married Lucas, right?" he said.

"Yeah. And had two kids. Devon and Hayden," she said proudly.

"I have to say, I'm surprised you're even talking to me," he said, sitting down beside her.

"I am too, kind of. We grew up together. I missed you," she said frankly. He smiled slowly.

"I missed you guys too. I really loved Haley. I was an idiot to mess that up," he said. Brooke's sentimental heart was touched.

"She just had a little girl," said Brooke softly.

"I heard. I was back in Tree Hill last week, and it was big news," he said.

"I'd invite you up to my place, but Lucas would probably kick your ass. Want to go get coffee?" she asked.

"Nah, let's stay here. How is married life?" he asked, leaning back.

Brooke frowned. In some ways, her married life was incredibly ideal. In other ways, they pretended it was ideal to avoid their problems.

"Surprising. Sometimes I feel like Ryan and Jake have a more functional relationship than us," said Brooke.

"Ryan and Jake?"

"Second youngest Scott girl. She and Jake live together. They're ridiculously together," said Brooke.

"When I left, you and Lucas were "ridiculously together"," said Chris.

"Mouth showed up. I kind of slept with him. Led to some emotional repressing."

"And he's still not over that? Brooke, you can't live like this, bound to one person. It's just not you," he said fervently. Brooke smiled at the surprising insight to her character.

"Maybe it wasn't me. I think it is by now," she said.

"Or maybe Lucas is not the only repressive one?" he suggested.

* * *

Brooke looked up furtively as Lucas walked into the room, having returned from putting Devon down for a nap. 

"I'll call you back," she said into the phone, hanging it up and dropping it on the table.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"Uh, Jake. Did he cooperate?" asked Brooke, lying badly.

"Yeah, he was great. How is Jake?" asked Lucas.

"Perfect. He and Ryan went to see Eve yesterday, she's growing. How was your day?" she asked, guiltily remembering that she hadn't seen him since they'd woken up.

"Uh, fine. Davis called for you, but you were out."

"Oh. Did you talk to her?" she asked carefully.

"Yeah," said Lucas briefly. He glanced down at the frown on Brooke's face.

"What'd you have to talk about?" she asked.

"Her career, mostly. What are you, jealous?" he asked teasingly.

"God no. I'm just trying not to... repress my emotions," she said.

"Good. That's... good," he said in confusion.

"Because you know, that leads to resentment. And resentment makes you bitter," she continued.

"I guess."

"Are you bitter, Luke?"

"No. But I'm also not repressive, or resentful. Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm totally fine. You're the one that never talks to me any more. You never talk to me. you don't trust me," she said.

"I love you. You're my wife. What makes you think I don't trust you?" he asked in confusion.

"The fact that you don't. You never have."

"I'd love to know when this became an argument. Why wouldn't I trust you?"

"Because I cheated on you a month after we started going out. You've never really gotten over it," she said accusingly. His face grew suddenly stoney.

"I'd really rather not get in to it, Brooke," he said.

"Why not? Devon's already yours. It shouldn't still hurt," she said.

"You hurt me more than I've ever been hurt in my life. I was just supposed to get over it?" he demanded.

"For God's sakes, it's been two years," she yelled.

"Who was really on the phone?" he asked, his voice quiet again. Brooke rolled her eyes and walked out.

His hand shaking, he reached for the phone. His eyes widened in amazement when he saw the name on the display-C Keller. A name he'd hoped never to see again in his life.


	69. Love is Just a Glance Away

Chapter Sixty-Nine: Love Is Just a Glance Away

Nathan smiled softly as he leaned against the doorframe of his bedroom. He hadn't slept in it in months, but he still considered it theirs. He remembered the night Haley had kicked him out of it, and hoped they'd come farther since then.

Haley and Eve were asleep in the bed. Haley had obviously nurse their child, causing both of them to nod off. Eve was dressed in a pink sleeper, and Haley was still in her pajamas.

"Did you two have a good day?" he asked, as she stirred. She opened her eyes lazily to look at him.

"We did. She's working on the whole sitting up thing. Kid's a genius," said Haley, attempting to rise. Nathan took a half step toward her.

"No, don't get up. You looked tired," he said in concern.

"Mm. She's tiring. Come join us?" suggested Haley, beginning to nod off. Nathan smiled before removing his shoes and button up shirt. After his pants had joined the pile on the floor, he stepped into the bed and gathered his wife and daughter into his arms.

* * *

"Hey," said Haley, surprised to awaken and find her husband's blue eyes staring deeply into her own. 

"Hey," he said softly.

"You slept with us," she said.

"Haley, I hate not being near you."

"I know. It's hard on me too," she admitted.

"Tomorrow night's our anniversary. Let me take you out?" he suggested. Her nerves tingled at the thought of being close to him after so long. "We'll lend Eve to Jake and Ryan. Go to the Plaza, get a room…"

"Mm. Sounds nice," she said.

"Sounds very nice, Mrs. Scott," he said teasingly. He placed a chaste kiss on her lips as their daughter slowly began to awaken.

Nathan picked up Eve, leaving Haley on the bed. She watched as he took her across the hall to change her diaper, and put her into a new sleeper. Haley stretched out luxuriously. She loved being a mother. She loved being able to trust her husband with her baby. She loved…

No, she didn't. Ever.

Slowly she got out of bed. Nathan couldn't help but let his eyes linger on her. She was wearing pink flannel pajama pants and a camisole, which accented her swelled, milk filled breasts. She noticed his gaze and blushed.

"Come on, let's go eat," she said, taking the baby from him. Eve cooed and relaxed in her mother's arm as the three of them made their way downstairs.

Haley strapped Eve into her chair on the counter, and the two of them began to throw together dinner for themselves. Since the birth of their daughter, their lives had become considerably more hectic, and considerably less uniformed.

"I'm going to call Ryan," said Haley, leaving the room. Nathan watched her go before turning to his daughter with a smile

"Ry? This is Haley," said Haley uncertainly, once she'd dialed.

"Hey sis, what's up?" asked Ryan. Ryan was always so relaxed and easy going. And nice. Something all the other three Scotts seemed to be completely lacking in.

"Uh, do you and Jake want to borrow Eve tomorrow? Overnight?" asked Haley cautiously. She could practically hear Ryan silently calculate.

"Oh my God! It's your anniversary, isn't it? Aw, that's adorable. You need the house to yourself to do it in?" asked Ryan eagerly. Haley blushed scarlet, despite having lost her virginity a year previously.

"Actually, you guys can take over the house. It might be easier. Nathan and I are going somewhere else," she said, already regretting her decision to talk to Jake, who would have suspected nothing, over her decision to talk to Ryan, who'd guessed instantly.

"Perfect. We'll be there. This is so romantic. Or kinky. I'm not really sure," said Ryan frankly. Haley hung up the phone abruptly and dropped it on the hall table.

Haley wandered back into the kitchen to find her husband tossing a salad, and attempting to keep up a conversation with their three month old daughter.

"So, Ryan and Jake are coming by tomorrow," she said.

"Great. Hope they can handle her," said Nathan. Haley slowly walked to her husband, their months of distance daunting her. She wrapped one arm around his neck and pressed her body against his.

"I hope you can handle me," she whispered tauntingly. He groaned and leaned down to kiss her as Eve began to scream.

"Hold that thought. Seriously," he said, walking quickly to their daughter and trying to ignore the obvious, physical sign of how much he loved and missed her.

* * *

Nathan's eyes widened considerably as his wife began to descend the main staircase. 

Haley was wearing a black silk gown that went to her knees and showed her back, and managed to minimize the few pregnancy pounds she hadn't yet lost. Her blonde hair was tied loosely up, with a few tendrils left hanging to accent her face. The diamond earring he'd given her the day after their original blowout were in her ears.

"You look beautiful," he said reverently, giving her his hand as she walked down the last few steps. She took it and felt a tingle rush through her.

"You look pretty fine yourself, Mr. Scott. Ryan and Jake arrived, right? Let's go," she said. He noticed the high-heeled shoes she wore, which made her much closer to his height.

"I've got a car waiting," he said, his hand dropping to the small of her back to lead her outside.

The whole block seemed to be watching as Nathan and Haley walked out of their town house and into the limousine parked outside. Haley stared out the tinted windows as they drove past, hardly believing that her life had brought her here, to this moment.

"Here," said Nathan, handing her a champagne flute. She frowned.

"Nathan, I'm still breastfeeding. I can't…" He laughed.

"Hales, it's ginger-ale. Drink up," he instructed her. She put hers forward for a toast.

"To us. To our future, that it may be less sucky than it has been," she said. He laughed and they clinked glasses.

They were seated in a corner at the restaurant he'd chosen. Already at the table was a bouquet of red roses. She smiled at him.

"You're trying to hard," she said accusingly. Shooing away the waiter, he pulled out her chair for her.

"I'm trying to make it up to you, Hales," he said. She touched his hand as he pulled it away.

"I think Eve might have been enough," she said softly. The diamonds in her ears twinkled. Briefly, Nathan remembered the Haley he'd fallen in love with: her innocent eyes, her casual clothing. He recalled with a lurch that he'd been twenty-four at the time, and that he was now twenty-seven. Even she was twenty-one. It seemed like such a huge leap.

Haley smiled as she followed Nathan into their hotel room. One not so negative aspect of marrying into the Scotts were the luxuries-the huge house, the limos, and the five star hotels. She took it in at a glance.

"Why, Mr. Scott, are you planning to seduce me?" she asked playfully.

"As ever. Here. I brought you something," he said. Smiling, she stuck out her hand.

"Gimme."

"No, sit down," he said, pointing toward the vanity. She obediently sat.

Haley gasped and lifted her hand to her throat as Nathan put a diamond pendant necklace on a silver chain around it. It matched her earrings perfectly, and had obviously not come cheaply. She smiled tearfully.

"It's beautiful. I love it," she said.

"I love _you_," he said fervently. Mentally, he cursed himself. He had not meant to say so. She met his eyes in the mirror before standing up, knocking over the chair that stood between them, and gliding into his arms.

Not daring to wait for her to change her mind, Nathan lifted Haley into his arms and walked toward the bed, his hand already sliding up her skirt.

He threw her on the bed and climbed on top of her. Once she'd taken off his tie and shirt, she flipped them to the best of her ability.

"My turn," she said, now on top of him. He smiled as she straddled his hips.

"Whatever you want," he said.

Once her stroking had become too much for him, Nathan sat up and pulled Haley close to him. She gasped as he slowly slid inside of her. He slid his eyes closed in equal ecstasy as she tightened around him. Her hold on him tightened as he kissed her neck and let his kisses trail downward.

"Jesus Christ, Haley…" he said desirably.

Haley pushed her hips toward him, sinking him deeper in to her. She held her breath to keep herself from uttering a similar exclamation.

Later, exhausted by their efforts, Nathan withdrew from her and lifted her off of him onto the bed beside him. She curled up next to him, breathing heavily.

"I missed you. There wasn't a day that I didn't miss you. I'm so sorry. The only days in the last three years that I haven't missed you are the days we spent together, last September," she said fervently. He kissed her blonde hair, and marveled at her perfection.

"I know. I'm sorry too, I started us off on the wrong foot," he said.

"You're not sorry. I'd be horrified if you were. If you had told me straight off that you loved me, I'd never have married you. And you don't regret that… do you?" she asked. He tilted her chin upward to kiss her properly.

"Less than I've ever regretted anything in my entire life," he promised.


	70. You Can't Find Nothing At All

Chapter Seventy: You Can't Find Nothing At All

"So. You grew up here?" asked Jake, wandering into Ryan's bedroom after they'd put Eve to bed. He looked at her four poster bed, flat screen tv and en suite bathroom

"Yeah."

"And decided to move out… why?" he asked.

"Oh, it's not so great. The Princess is in bed?" she asked.

"Yes, indeed she is. Good kid," he said distractedly. Ryan drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them.

"This place is so different than it was pre-Haley," she said.

"I know. For one thing, there are actual happy people here," he said jokingly.

"Finally. They were going through a rough patch for a while there. I'm glad they're okay," she said.

Jake sighed and sat down next to her.

"You know, underneath all their bitching, I think we can always trust Nathan and Haley to be okay, deep down," he said. She smiled and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

And she, always, could trust Jake to cheer her up.

* * *

"Peyton?" Jake uttered her name in amazement as he opened the door. 

"Jake." Peyton's voice was choked and strained, having obviously been expecting Haley.

"Come in. They're off on their anniversary, Ryan and I are looking after Eve. She just went to bed," said Jake.

"Who, Ryan or Eve?" asked Peyton in confusion. Jake chuckled.

"Eve. But Ryan's upstairs, so we can talk if you want," he said.

"Good. Let's go to the living room," she said. He noticed slowly that she'd dressed to impress someone, in a low cut tank top and a short skirt.

"You look great," he commented. They sat awkwardly beside each other on the sofa.

"Thanks. So does the house, they've done a lot of work," she said, gesturing around herself to the more modernly, less oppressive décor.

"It's good. What did you want to talk about?" he asked.

"It's…" Peyton trailed off to glance into his hazel eyes.

Suddenly, with the same impulse on both sides, they leaned forward. Their lips met for the first time in two years. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his went automatically around her waist, pulling her in tighter. They sunk into old feelings and passions.

"No, wait. What the hell was that?" asked Jake, breaking away from their kiss.

"I wanted to see you. This isn't working, Jake. We can't just not see each other. It doesn't work," she said imploringly.

"You've been going out of your way not to talk to me for two years," he said in amazement.

"That doesn't mean I didn't think about it. Because I did. Every day, I thought about what we had and what we lost. Every day I miss it, Jake. I've never had to live without you," she said.

"I know the feeling," he said. Suddenly he leaned forward and kissed her again.

"I want to try. I think we can make it," she said lightly, fervently.

"I thought we could, too. I thought love was enough. It turned out it wasn't," he said.

"We know what to avoid now, Jake. We know that Davis will always try to break us up. And Ryan…" Jake pressed a finger to Peyton's lips.

"Don't. She's my best friend, but she's not a threat to you. No one is," he promised.

Outside the door, Ryan Scott shut her eyes tightly and willed her eyes not to cry. After two years, how was it possible that she still wasn't a threat?

* * *

"They're back!" called out Jake the next morning. Ryan slowly walked down the stairs, carrying Eve. Jake noticed her somber expression, but was too jubilant to analyze it. 

"Hey! How'd you guys do?" asked Haley, bursting into the house. Ryan produced an artificial smile and handed her niece back to her mother.

"Great. She was an angel," she said. Haley smiled suspiciously, but said nothing.

"How was your evening?" asked Jake, smirking. Nathan punched his arm.

"None of your business," he said.

"I'm going to go unpack," said Haley, beginning to head up the stairs. Nathan walked in the direction of his study and Jake reluctantly followed.

"What?" asked Nathan in surprise, noting that he was being followed.

"I need to talk. In the least gay was possible," he said. The two entered his office. Nathan dropped into his chair, leaned back and folded his arms expectantly.

"What is it, Jake?"

"I made out with Peyton last night," he admitted.

"Shit. Looks like it was a good night for romance. Sure you don't want to talk to Haley about this?" asked Nathan.

"No. It's something else. I think she's having an affair," he admitted.

Nathan raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"So she came to you and told you she wanted to be with you, but you think she's screwing behind your back? Women," said Nathan in slight frustration.

"Tell me about it. What do you think I should do?" asked Jake.

"Honestly? I've recently learned that women don't appreciate confrontation. Just hope it goes away," said Nathan.

"Thanks. What's up with you and Haley?" he asked. After a month or two, Jake and Ryan had easily surmised the Scott's living condition. Nathan blushed.

"Go find my sister and take her home, and hope I don't get equally suspicious," said Nathan sternly.

"What?" asked Jake in confusion. He exited and called out for Ryan. Nathan left the office and ran up the stairs, hoping Haley had put Eve back to bed and would be willing to continue their anniversary.

Nathan came across Haley in their bedroom and pulled her into his arms. She smiled at his good mood.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Jake and Peyton. Looks like that summer counted for more than we ever thought," he said.

"It counted for everything. They're getting back together? That's so great. Poor Ryan," said Haley suddenly. He kissed the tip of her nose.

"My wife. Crusader for the weak," he said proudly. In a desperate desire to shut him up, Haley pulled him down onto the bed on top of her.

Not surprisingly, it worked like a charm.

* * *

Author's note: Okay, so I've got to ask, even though I'm pretty sure I know the answer, and I'm not promising your answers will affect the ending: Jeyton or Jyan?

* * *


	71. If There Was Nothing There All Along

Chapter Seventy-One: If There Was Nothing There All Along

* * *

Author's note: Wow, the response to last chapter and the poll was AMAZING. Thanks so much, hope you like this one just as much.

* * *

"So you guys are getting back together," said Ryan in disbelief, wandering into the kitchen.

"Looks that way," he said, glancing up at her. They'd ordered in for dinner, and she was wandering around with a cardboard carton of noodles and chopsticks.

"So all your issues are just gone? Suddenly everything is okay?" she asked.

"We're working on it. But I love her, you know that. We want to make it work," he said.

"Is she going to move back in here?" asked Ryan, her voice small. Jake, guessing incorrectly that he'd guessed her qualm, moved toward her and wrapped her in a platonic hug.

"Don't worry, you're not going anywhere. I'd miss you too much," he said comfortingly.

Slowly, Ryan let her arms encircle his neck. After all, she reasoned she wouldn't have many more opportunities to do so.

* * *

"Peyton? What are you doing here?" asked Christian in surprise, as she entered his office. She glanced down at his shiny wooden desk and remembered, with embarrassment, that they'd once had sex on it. 

"I'm kind of here to break up with you," she said, sounding surprised to hear the words come out of her own mouth.

"Is that so?" Christian leaned back in his leather chair, not looking terribly concerned.

"Yeah. I think I finally worked things out with Jake," she said.

"I don't think you can let yourself be happy, Peyton," he said.

"I am, when I'm with him," she said.

"Yet you're never with him. The boy's in love with you, but you won't commit to him. It's what broke you up, you know that. It wasn't Davis, it wasn't Ryan. It was you, terrified of being loved," he said.

"You're my professor. This is so wrong," she said.

"It's been months. Almost a year. That's just occurring to you now?" he asked.

"It occurs to me every time. You make me feel dirty, Christian. He made me feel clean," she said. As she began to cry, he walked over to her and put his arms around her.

"It's okay," he muttered consolingly. For an instant, Peyton pretended she was in Jake's arms. With her eyes open, it was difficult. Christian Braddock's muscular, brown, sinewy body was noticeably different than Jake's paler, broader one.

But with her eyes closed, their kisses were almost indistinguishable.

* * *

Jake slowed his footsteps as he walked down the hall. It had taken Ryan almost a half hour of wheedling to get him to go to class at all. With only one class, he had been fully willing to blow it off and spend the morning analyzing the new Peyton situation with her. 

Then, she had conveniently remembered that he'd arranged a meeting with their English lit professor, one he couldn't back out of. Jake had reluctantly left for class.

His footsteps echoed on the marble floor. The corridor was suspiciously empty. It was disconcerting, having the school empty. Even Ryan hadn't come in.

"Professor Braddock?" he called, knocking on his office door. Jake could hear shuffling, but no answer came. Impatiently he tried the door and was surprised to find it open.

At first, the sight that greeted him didn't overly surprise him. After all, Professor Braddock always had seemed like something of a playboy. Much like Usher, in Professor style. Jake was mildly disturbed by the sight of his English professor astride a tall, thin blonde girl.

But quickly, being disturbed was nothing. Disturb led to the hurt, pain and unimaginable shock that he felt when he realized that the girl was his girl-the girl he'd loved his entire life.

"Peyton," he said, his voice hollow.

"God, Jake," she said. Within moments, she was again dressed. She rushed to him and laid a comforting hand on his arm. He shook her off.

"You said… with him… the entire time?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to. I tried to call it off," she said desperately.

"You mean it's happened before?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Get out of my life. Get out, and stay out. I thought I could trust you again," he said. He walked to the door. "I was wrong."

He slammed it as he walked out, wishing it was Braddock's head he could be smashing in.

* * *

Ryan Annabelle Scott looked discontentedly out of the window into the pouring rain. Discontent was not an emotion she was comfortable with. She had no reason to be. After her parents had died, Nathan had done his best to make her happy. Before they'd died, she'd been spoiled rotten. When she'd moved in with Jake, he'd become her everything. 

Ryan knew she'd never be satisfied with anyone else. Why couldn't Jake realize it? Why couldn't Peyton?

Dropping onto the sofa, she tucked her legs against her chest and rested her head on her knees. She ran one hand along a long, smooth leg. Every man she met glanced twice at her legs. Her breasts were small but round and fairly ideal. She had shampoo commercial hair, even features, pretty eyes. She made him laugh. Why did she have to be in love with him?

"Jake?" she asked eagerly, as he walked in. Ryan watched as he fumbled with the lock. Jake was clearly drunk.

"It's Ryan. Ryan'll cheer me up," he said, seemingly to himself.

"Come here," she said, taking his hand and tugging him toward the sofa. He collapsed onto it, and pulled her onto his lap. Didn't he know yet that she couldn't stand to be so close to him?

"You're the best. Everyone else lies. Like Peyton. Bitch," he said.

"You love Peyton," said Ryan reluctantly.

"Nope. She took care of that. I'm done with her," he said, slurring his words.

"Funny, I feel like I've heard that before," she said.

"Your hair is the same colour as hers. But yours is prettier. You're so pretty. Why don't you have a boyfriend?" he asked fondly.

"Because you're my guy," she joked.

Influenced by alcohol and heartbreak, Jake took her face in his hands and kissed her. Blinded by love and faith, Ryan didn't protest.

She shut her eyes tightly as the kiss deepened, willing it to go on longer. Jake was as good as kisser as she'd always suspected. She pulled him to her, her love finally reaching the surface. Her heart was as full as only he could make it.


	72. Going Through the Motions

Chapter Seventy-Two: Going Through the Motions

* * *

Author's note: This is a response to how many of you wanted to see Brooke go in to labour with Devon and Hayden.

* * *

Brooke rolled over and groaned as one of her baby's screamed for her attention. She'd been lying in her husband's arms all night in the hot, Californian late summer all night, and felt uncomfortably hot. She got slowly out of bed, draped a dressing gown over her nightie clad form, and went to attend to Hayden.

Lucas walked in fifteen minutes later while she was sitting in the rocking chair in their son's room, feeding him. He smiled, pleased as always by the domestic site that greeted him: Hayden playing with Brooke's long, dark hair, Brooke holding him to her breast.

"How did he not wake you up?" asked Brooke in annoyance.

"I don't think I had what he was looking for," said Lucas crossly.

"He's almost a year, Lucas. He doesn't always need this anymore," she said.

"Sorry. Devon came in. I took care of him. Thought you might want to know," said Lucas, departing abruptly. Brooke looked after him, feeling thoroughly guilty.

Five minutes later, she changed her son's diaper, changed him into a new outfit, and took his hand to lead him on his unsteady legs to the kitchen.

"Mommy!" came an excited voice. Brooke looked to where Lucas was attempting to strap their elder son into his high chair. Devon sprang free and ran for his mother.

"Devie!" she said, lifting him up and past her head. He giggled delightedly.

"Are you being a good boy for your daddy?" she asked sternly.

"Yep," he said. Brooke caught sight of Lucas over her son's shoulder and smiled.

"I'm sure you are. Go let him put you in your chair," she said, putting him back down. As she released him, she inhaled his baby sent and ran a hand through his short blonde hair. Even at two, he was undoubtedly his father's son.

And no one elses.

FLASHBACK 

"_You know Haley's still with that sheep?" said Brooke in annoyance, waddling in to the kitchen._

"_How do you know that?" asked Lucas, looking doubtfully at his almost nine months pregnant wife._

"_Peyton told me. And she and Jake are falling out. Idiot," she said in disgust._

"_Who, Peyton or Jake?" he asked in confusion._

"_Jake, of course. He's a man. Men suck. And they get their women like this," she complained, glaring darkly at her husband. He couldn't help but laugh: during her pregnancy, they'd gotten into the easy habit of pretending it was his. _

"_So of course Jake is clearly the guilty party," he said. Brooke looked blankly at him. "Babe, you okay?"_

_Brooke's blank look quickly gave away to shock and fear._

"_Luke, I think my water just broke."_

_After making a rushed phone call to the New York Scotts, Brooke and Lucas left for the hospital in his car. _

"_Damnit, I need more drugs," complained Brooke, nine hours later._

"_Just push, Mrs. Scott. The head is almost clear," said the nurse encouragingly. Lucas held back a smile when Brooke cursed loudly._

"_Come on. You can do it, I promise," he said. In the midst of her pain, she caught sight of his blue eyes. They calmed her._

"_I see a head! Arms, a chest. Okay, it's a boy," said the doctor, catching him and holding up for both of them to see._

_Brooke and Lucas stared at him in shock once he'd been cleaned-his dusting of blonde hair, his clear blue eyes, his fair skin. The look of him that had belonged to Nathan and Lucas._

"_He's your son," she said in amazement._

"_Ours. Ours. Holy…"_

"_A Scott. I have just brought a new Scott into the world. I should kill myself now," she said._

"_I'd rather you didn't. I love you," he said suddenly. She smiled at him over the head of the child that was their's._

"_I love you too."_

_END FLASHBACK_

Brooke sighed. She had loved him that day. She loved him this day. She'd love him always. She had always been so certain they'd be able to tell each other so, and let it be the most important aspect of their lives.

"Brooke. Phone," said Lucas. As she slowly lifted her eyes to his, she realized he'd spoken more than once.

With shaking fingers, she took the phone, letting her fingers brush his. She shivered. Even after two babies, two years of marriage, he still excited her, made her want him. Even through their rough patches, their sex life had never diminished. Some days, Brooke wondered if they'd be able to survive without it.

"Haley?" she asked. She listen obediently while Haley talked excitedly about her honeymoon. The logical part of Brooke was happy for her. She'd spent countless hours lamenting the nature of Haley and Nathan's doomed "love".

When she was done, Brooke hung up the phone and turned to Lucas, wondering how she could possibly explain.

"They're back. Nathan and Haley, they're all together again," she said briefly. He looked up from feeding oatmeal to Hayden.

"That's great. Remind me not to call him so he won't give me the dirty details," he said. Brooke laughed briefly before leaving the room, getting back into bed and attempting to go back to sleep.

Her thoughts turned predictably to the time of Hayden's birth.

_FLASHBACK_

_Brooke smiled as Devon ran into the room ahead of his father. Ever since she'd been confined to bed rest at their swanky private hospital, Lucas had been bringing him in every day. Despite this, she didn't know if he had any understand of what was going on, and why his mommy had gotten so fat._

"_Anything happen at home?" she asked hopefully. Brooke Scott felt hopelessly cut off from the outside world._

"_Ryan called to see how you were," he said._

"_That's nice. No Peyton? Guess not, ever since she broke up with Jake she's been pretty hard to get a hold of," she said sadly. Lucas leaned down, brushed her sweaty bangs away from her face, and gently kissed her forehead._

"_I miss you. I get lonely," he admitted, sitting down beside her. She smiled at him._

"_I miss you too. My friend Carlos the janitor is hardly a suitable replacement," she complained._

"_I should hope not. So after this one, do you want another?" he asked._

"_Honestly? I can't think beyond the next five minutes. But I think two is definitely fine for now. Don't you?" she asked. Lucas took her hand in his and kissed her fingers._

"_Honestly? Just having you is more than I could have hoped for." Brooke made a cry of alarm as he leaned in to kiss her._

"_Shit. I'll get a doctor," he said, dropping her hand and running off to the hall._

_Hayden Lucas Scott was born during a cesarean two hours later._

END FLASHBACK 

An hour later she arose from bed, apologized to Lucas for skipping out on their most difficult time of day, and played on the carpet with Devon for two hours while Hayden slept in his swing.

Brooke stared at him in the few moments that her son didn't monopolize. She wondered if he ever resented it, the fatherhood he'd been thrust in to at twenty-two. She didn't sympathize if he had. She'd been eighteen and unsure of the father, tricked by her cousin in doing a favour to a friend. It had been the scariest time in her life.

She's already been pregnant by that point, she realized. Either Davis had switched the pills a day earlier than they'd thought, or there had been a fluke. Fate had been out to get her that summer.

As it had been out to get all of them.


	73. Penultimate Scott

Chapter Seventy-Three: Penultimate Scott

"Say hi to your Aunt Ryan! Or not. Whatever. The latter actually makes more sense, seeing as you're like six months old. God, I've become one of those mothers, haven't I?" Ryan was startled to be greeted with her sister-in-law's rambling when she opened the door the morning after.

"Uh, come in," she said. Haley walked in, pulling the cumbersome baby stroller with her.

"What'd you do last night?" she asked eagerly, carefully picking her daughter out of the stroller. Ryan smiled at her niece.

"I guess it's fairly obvious what you did," she teased.

"Oh, a little bit of that. Ryan, are you okay?" she asked in concern, as Ryan's face began to crumble. Haley hurriedly placed Eve back into the stroller to put a comforting arm around her.

"It's Jake," she finally managed to say.

"I heard he's getting back together with Peyton. Is that what happened?" she asked.

"No. Not at all. He didn't, I think she was screwing someone else. He didn't really explain. He came home drunk, and he kissed me," she said, looking thoroughly miserable.

"Isn't that good?" asked Haley in confusion.

"No! He still loves her! I love him… you know that. God, I love him so much. But he'll always love her. He was using me. And I don't think he even remembers," she said.

"So you do love him, after all this. I'm so sorry, baby," she said.

Ryan was silent for a moment, her tears leaking into Haley's sweater.

"You don't have to feel threatened by us. Lord knows Nathan and I aren't exactly conventional," she said.

"You're getting there. You love him," said Ryan. Haley bit back the retort that instantly came to her lips, guessing that now wasn't the time.

The two blonde girls sat for a while, their arms around each other, trapped in their misery. Occasionally they were interrupted by the smaller, less tragic brunette, but they scarcely seemed to notice.

"Was it a good kiss?" asked Haley eventually.

"Of course. It was perfect. If it was sucky, this wouldn't hurt so badly."

* * *

Haley Scott banged repeatedly on the door to Peyton's dorm room, eager to gain access to go berate her one time best friend to the hurt she'd caused to her sister-in-law. 

But when Peyton answered the door, face streaked with tears, bags under her eyes, Haley found she hadn't the heart to do so.

"Peyton, it's going to be okay," she said, pulling her friend into her arms. Peyton was stiff and incompliant.

"I'm guessing you heard?" she asked, stepping aside to let Haley and the stroller into her room.

Haley nodded, watching Peyton sit cross legged at the bed and pick at loose threads in her blanket.

"Who was it?" she asked.

"Jake didn't tell you?"

"I talked to Ryan." As Haley spoke her name, Peyton frowned. Peyton had yet to learn that anything romantic had ever happened between Jake and Ryan, but she resented her anyways.

"Christian Braddock," she admitted. Haley stifled her gasp.

"Your professor?" she asked. Peyton nodded and walked over to Eve. Haley smiled as she lifted her onto her hip.

"She's cute."

"Just like Nathan," said Haley automatically.

"Hayden looks just like Brooke, it's incredible. And Devon looks like Lucas. And Leigh. And Ryan."

"Baby, Ryan doesn't want to take your place. She's a good person, and she wants Jake to be happy. And he's only ever been happy with you," said Haley.

"I was happy before him. But I don't think I can he happy afterward. I love him so much, Haley," she said. It occurred to Haley that Peyton had picked up Eve in an attempt to make herself less reachable to Haley.

"Then why did you…"

"The same reason he slept with Davis. Remember that? I do. The same reason he's playing house with that princess. This wasn't so hard before, you know? Brooke got her happily ever after, but you were always as unhappy as I was. It was helpful, not having to trust that summer. It's all different now," she said.

"I'm not exactly living a happily ever after with Nathan. And I was with Seamus before him. And I loved Seamus. I was happy. Can't you be happy?"

"Seamus was bullshit," she objected. Haley almost smiled.

"Then so was Christian. Was it worth it?" she asked carefully.

"No. Never. She's sad," said Peyton, indicating the baby in her arms. Haley regretfully took her and soothed her.

"We should go home. We have a doctor's appointment today," said Haley.

"It's always "we" with you, you know. Being your and Nathan, or you and Eve, or all three of you. I remember when we used to be a we," she said. Haley smiled and touched her hand, trying not to think of Ryan's tragic face.

"You will be again," she promised, backing out of the door.

* * *

"NATHAN!" screamed Haley, as soon as she got into the house. He came running down the stairs, looking nervous.

"What?" he asked.

"We have to hook Peyton up with someone. Any suggestions?" she asked. She felt mildly guilty for siding with her sister-in-law over her one time best friend. But seeing Peyton and Jake and their dysfunction, and Ryan and Jake and their perfect fit, she couldn't help but feel swayed. Especially because of the familial bond she felt with Ryan, and the lack of bond she felt with Peyton.

"Isn't Peyton in love with Jake?" he asked curiously.

"Yes, which is why she has to get over it," she said impatiently. Nathan raised his eyebrows.

"How about Seamus? Kill two birds with one stone?" he suggested.

"You're being funny. Don't be funny, we have a problem here," she said. Noticing how agitated she looked, Nathan moved forward and took her in his arms.

"Don't worry. If Peyton and Jake are really meant to be together, they'll be together. If Jake and Ryan are really meant to be together, they will be," he said soothingly.

"How can you believe that? We're together, and most days I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant to be," she said. He kissed her hair.

"But that wasn't exactly divine intervention, was it?" he asked. After a moment, she giggled and relaxed in his arms. 


	74. The Point of No Return

Chapter Seventy-Four: The Point of No Return

* * *

Author's note: I really don't deserve a lot of the credit for the next few chapers. Ange helped a lot for the upcoming ones. Thanks! And the rating has been officially changed to M, but I urge you not to give it up. I'm kind of paranoid about that.

* * *

"Don't you have to go to work?" asked Haley lazily, her eyes still shut. 

"Do you want me to?" he asked. She reached up and kissed him.

"Never. But Brooke and Lucas are coming in from LA, and we haven't heard from Leigh in ages, so she'll probably need to be bailed out soon, and I was planning on going shopping today. So it would probably be a good idea," she said. He smiled down at her.

"Right, Brooke and Lucas are coming. To celebrate her half birthday," he said.

"Don't tease. She's my first born, I'm supposed to be doting," she said.

"Right, right. I can't believe Luke's coming back again. Doesn't it seem like he's around as much as he'd be if he actually lived here?" said Nathan.

"Yeah, sometimes. Be home on time tonight, to see Brooke and Lucas," she said warningly.

"I will be," he said, getting out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To shower. Care to join me?" Haley smiled as she watched Nathan walk across the room to their en-suite bathroom before. Still hearing silence from her daughter's room, she changed her mind and ran after him.

* * *

"Mr. Scott? These are the applicants for the editor of the new paper," said Deborah Lee, walking into the room. He smiled at her. 

"Thanks, Deb. Do you have those numbers for me?" he asked.

"No, those will be here tomorrow," she said.

"And can you do me a favour, and cancel my four o'clock meeting?" he asked. Deb raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Doing something special?"

"Yeah, actually. It's Eve's half birthday and I promised my wife I'd get home early," he said. Deb smiled at the enthusiasm of the young father.

"That's nice. Haley's a nice girl," said Deb warmly.

"That she is," he said proudly, as the secretary backed out of the room.

Nathan cut out of work early to get home to greet his nephews, his brother and his sister-in-law. He noticed how tense they seemed, but quickly decided it was only due to the jet-lag.

The seven of them, after Jake and Ryan arrived, had a loud family dinner and a birthday cake, which Eve was too young to eat. After putting the three younger ones to bed, the six of them stayed up, drinking copiously.

"So where's Peyton?" asked Lucas, after a considerable amount of tequila.

"Like any of us know," said Haley, suddenly more amused by the situation.

"Blondie's manic depressed now," said Brooke.

"And having an affair with our professor," said Ryan.

Haley didn't laugh, though her more drunk sisters-in-law, brother-in-law, and Jake did. She glanced across the table to see Nathan looking equally sober.

She wondered what he wanted to talk about. She was fairly sure she wouldn't like it.

"What's up?" she asked, after the two of them had reached their bedroom with the door firmly shut behind them.

"Brooke and Lucas seem to really like having two kids," he said suddenly.

"Okay, you'd better not be insinuating what I think you're insinuating. Because you know my views on the whole thing," she said.

"What?"

"I told you. Eve's all I want. And I don't plan on sticking around forever," she said bluntly.

"Don't you remember that day in the park?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"The park. Three years ago, in LA. You said you wanted four kids. Whatever happened to that?"

"You happened, Nathan. Maybe with someone else, I'd still want that," she said harshly.

"Right. Haley, all I ever did was love you. All you ever did was love me," he said.

"I'm not in love with you, Nathan."

"You're not in love with me. You don't want me, I'm purely necessity. I've heard this song and dance before," he said. Haley flushed, beginning to grow angry.

"This is crap. I knew you'd get like this. You can never believe that there's a woman not in love with you, can you?" she asked.

"No, I can believe it. Just not in your case. Because I've never hurt anyone as thoroughly as I hurt you. And no one can hurt like that except for by love," he said.

Haley's eyes flashed dangerously, but Nathan didn't back down. She turned away to face the wardrobe, preparing to undress for bed.

"What's the matter Haley; does the truth hurt?"

Seething with anger she spun around to face him. "You don't know me Nathan Scott, whatever you may think you have no idea who I really am."

"Oh is that so," he said advancing on her, "so I don't know how your body trembles every time I come near you, I don't know exactly the spots to touch you to drive you over the edge? What else don't I know Haley?" he asked as he got closer and closer to her. He leaned in so that his hot breath fanned her neck. She shivered though she tried to hide it.

"I suppose I don't know how you scream my name every night either," he said.

Her hand caught his face in a stinging slap and quick as lightning he had her pushed up against the wall. He dragged a hand down over the front of her dress and watched her squirm in response.

"So what Nathan, so you can get a physical response out of me. Do you really think another man couldn't get exactly the same response?"

"Oh I don't only think it Haley I know it." He slid his hands up the side of her ribcage brushing his thumbs over her nipples and heard her gasp. "I'm the only one who'll ever be able to make you feel like this Haley, no one else will ever get a chance. You married me and we are going to stay married whether you like it or not. This," he said gesturing to her trembling body, "is all mine and it always will be."

She brought her hands to his chest clawing at the exposed skin where his shirt was unbuttoned, wanting to hurt him but he simply laughed. She moved her legs trying to kick out at him but his muscled body held her in place. The material of her dress bunched in his hands as he started to drag it up her body exposing more and more skin to his lust filled gaze. He yanked it up forcing her to raise her arms as he pulled it over her head.

Seeing his eyes on her she wanted to hurt him, wanted to wipe that satisfied smirk from his face. Physically she was no match for him but there were other ways. She looked up at him forcing her face into an expression of neutrality.

"Congratulations Nathan you're right. Physically you can make me feel like no one else can but you can't begin to touch my emotions or my heart. Maybe you were the one to take my virginity from me but Seamus touched me in a way that you never will. He touched my heart Nathan, and you have never even gotten close to that."

He withdrew for a moment as his gut clenched in rage. How dare she say that? He looked into her eyes seeing a steely determination staring back at him and felt his own determination rise. He was going to make her eat her words if it was the last thing he ever did.

"Oh really? Well, we'll just see about that." He moved his hand underneath her legs scooping her up into his arms and stalking to the bed. He dropped her down following her down immediately giving her no time to escape. Her body was pinned beneath his as he began to suck and nibble at her neck slowly moving lower until he reached her breast. Feeling his lips on her only served to fuel her anger even more and she forcefully sunk her teeth into his shoulder. He looked up at her smirking, "is that really how you want to play this game Haley?"

She didn't get a chance to respond as she felt his teeth graze against her nipple, biting lightly then soothing the injured flesh with his tongue. She could feel him growing harder against her and knew that this foreplay if it could be called that would not last much longer.

As if to prove her point he raised himself up on his forearms positioning himself at her opening before ramming himself deep up inside of her. She felt shockwaves of pleasure shoot through her body and let out a scream. Looking down at her he laughed.

"See I told you I could make you scream."


	75. It Came To Me Then

Chapter Seventy-Five: It Came To Me Then

Haley was surprised the next morning when she woke up cold, only covered by the thin sheet on her bed. Despite their gradually decaying relationship, she'd become used to waking up next to her husband. Often because of their tender love from the night before.

Remembering the night previously, she suddenly realized why they weren't spooning.

She'd been furious with him, she remembered. Somehow, her fury had turned in the most passionate sex they'd ever had.

"Nathan?" she said experimentally.

"You're awake."

"Uh, I guess we should talk?" she said.

"I kind of feel like I had an extra marital affair," he admitted. She smiled.

"No, that was just fully church sanctioned sex," she said. His eyes lingered on the hickey on her neck as hers fell on the nail marks in his chest.

"Sure…"

"Obviously, we can't do that again," she said. They met eyes.

In an instant, Nathan had seized her shoulders and pulled her roughly toward him. For a moment he watched her breath deeply in desire before pushing her back onto the bed and kissing her.

* * *

"God, we have a kid. We can't just lose ourselves to… passion like that, whenever we want," said Haley in exasperation. 

"Yeah. Because obviously we shouldn't have lives anymore," he said. He relaxed and watched as she hurriedly dressed herself, oddly embarrassed to be seen naked before him.

"Can you occupy Brooke and Lucas? I need to be alone for a while," she said.

"Or I could occupy you. Again." Haley scowled at him.

"Put some ice on it, Nathan," she said, leaving before he could see the flush on her face.

Haley walked rapidly until she reached Nathan's study, the first empty room she could find. Lucas and his family took up all the spare bedrooms she'd come across. She dropped into the leather chair in front of his desk and hugged her knees to her chest.

Every inch of her body ached, from the previous night. Her lips were swollen, her breasts tender. All of her burned for his touch again.

Part of her wanted to run and tell Brooke what had happened, but she knew that she could never make Brooke understand. Despite all Haley had told her, Brooke still believed that Haley and Nathan merely misunderstood each other, and were always moment away from bliss. Haley smiled cynically. Brooke was so idealistic, even as her own "fairy-tale" marriage fell to pieces.

Haley had lost all he optimism, all her faith, three years previously.

As she sat in the study of her silent house, she drifted into a state that was between awake and dreaming…

FLASHBACK 

_Haley stared down at her hands in the limo. Dimly she noticed passers by glance their way with interest. She'd never ridden in a company car before. She wondered how many times she would again. _

_As Nathan stood on the sidewalk and offered his hand to help her out, she noticed afresh how tall he was, how old he looked. Much to old to be the Nathan she'd once known. _

_It seemed to be only moments from the time they arrived to the church to the time they were at the alter, about to be married._

"_Have you written vows?" asked the reverend. Haley shook her head, but noticed Nathan looking intently at her. She'd wondered what he'd been thinking._

"_Repeat after me. I, Nathan take you, Haley…"_

_Haley listened as Nathan recited his vows. He was a good actor, she had to admit. He seemed to pour feeling into every word he spoke. She suspected that the officiator would be less than appreciative of a couple marrying for their terms._

"_I, Haley, take you Nathan as a sign of my love and affection," said Haley automatically. Love. When have they ever been about love? Their relationship had revolved around passion, control, but never around love._

"_For richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness, and in health."_

_Haley repeated his lines dully. She could not remember a time that she'd felt so few emotions besides the mind numbing fear._

"_Do you Nathan Scott take Haley James to be your lawfully wedded wife?"_

"_I will," said Nathan fervently. For a moment, he almost betrayed himself. He looked apprehensive. _

"_And do you, Haley Elise James, take Nathan Scott to be your lawfully wedded husband?"_

_Haley looked up at Nathan. It was her turn. She had to close her end of the deal. She'd already signed her life away, she might as well finish it off._

"_I will," she said._

"_Then, with the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce you husband and wife. Nathan, you may kiss your bride."_

_His bride. His._

_Nathan took her hands in his and gently kissed her lips. It was not one of their kissed destined to go too far: it was gentle, loving and unlike any she'd experienced._

_It was later in the evening that Nathan discovered her lie. That they consummated their marriage and called out each other's names in desire. _

_But it wasn't for another few months that she'd come to regret it._

* * *

"I haven't seen Haley all day," said Brooke nervously, as she laid down Eve in her crib for a nap. 

"I'm sure she's fine. Maybe they had a fight," suggested Lucas.

"Maybe. God, why can't they just be happy?" she said in annoyance.

"To satisfy your quota?" Brooke glared at her husband as he stalked out. Really, he knew her far too well.

* * *

Nathan was very concerned the next night when he arrived home to find Lucas, Brooke, all three of their collective children, but no Haley. Apparently, neither of them had seen her all day. 

He wandered to his study to call Ryan to ask if she'd seen her, but stopped when he found Haley curled up on the couch. He gently lifted her up and began to carry her upstairs.

Haley didn't awaken even after he took off her clothes and laid her in the bed. Sighing, he leaned down to kiss her forehead and tuck the sheets around her.

Trying to block out what she'd said the previous night about Seamus, he walked out to leave her to sleep.


	76. Heaven and Hell

Chapter Seventy-Six: Heaven and Hell

"Jake? I brought you something!" said Ryan. Jake ran to the front door to see Ryan pulling in Eve's stroller. He raised his eyebrows.

"You stole your niece?" he asked, leaning down to look at her.

"No, Haley lent me her. They seemed to want to be alone," said Ryan, smiling.

"Well, their loss is our gain. How long do we get her for?" he asked.

"Until tomorrow. You don't mind?" she asked. She watched as his strong hands reached into the stroller to lift her out.

"Mind? This is going to be fun. Want to go out?" he asked.

"Yeah. Uh, give her to me. Haley mentioned that she might be cold or something," said Ryan.

Ryan took her niece to the bedroom while the buzzer rang.

She sang to Eve while she changed her diaper. Ever since the kiss that Jake didn't seem to even remember, she'd felt awkward around him. Their once easy embraces, platonic touches, had been so strained.

She stopped at the door when she heard Jake's voice rise in anger. Taking a deep breath, she lifted Eve higher onto her hip and walked hesitantly into the hall.

"Give me another chance. I love you, Jake," said Peyton urgently.

"This is crap, Peyton. And you know it. It's never going to happen," he said. Peyton rolled her eyes and caught sight of Ryan with a baby in her arms.

"You promised, Jake. That night. So many night. You promised to love me forever," she said. She was looking at Ryan. Not Jake. Feeling awkward under the heat of her stare, Ryan glanced at Jake. He weakened for a moment.

"Ryan, you ready to go?" he asked. Both girls gasped at the cruelty of his statement.

"Yeah," she said, placing Eve back in her stroller.

* * *

"You still love her," accused Ryan, as the two of them walked through the park. She smiled up at the orange and brown leaves. Jake Jagielski had made her secretly miserable for years, but she loved sharing this with him. 

"Of course," he said eventually.

"I don't get it. She's a completely different person. She's crazy. How can you love her so much?" she asked.

"She is. She's lonely," he said.

"She had sex with Professor Braddock!" said Ryan in amazement. To her left, Jake almost smiled.

"You would, too. Guy's a fox," he said jokingly. Ryan playfully shoved him.

"Do you really think you can have everything with her? Have…" Ryan looked around, at the various couples strolling together, many of them with a stroller. "Have this?"

"I can't just give up on her, Ry. I've been in love with her since the fifth grade. I want to help her. But I can't," he said.

As she frowned, he sent her a subtle, slightly annoyed look. She knew what he was thinking: that she didn't understand, that she couldn't. She wondered what would happen if she kissed him, right then and there.

She wondered if it would end her torment.

"Is this your baby? She's beautiful," said a passing elderly woman. Ryan instantly manufactured a smile, hoping not to be recognized as a Scott.

"What a nice couple," they heard the woman remark to her husband as they walked past them. Ryan glanced up at Jake and smiled.

"We do make a nice couple," he said, fondly looping an arm around her waist. She attempted a smile. Jake Jagielski was blind like no man she'd ever met in her life…

* * *

Ryan and Jake flipped a coin to determine who Eve would sleep with. When Ryan won, Jake helpfully bottle fed Eve before handing her back to Ryan and going to bed. 

The room was silent, but Ryan couldn't sleep. She lay awake for hours, staring at Eve. Eve occasionally rolled over, or sighed in her sleep. Ryan was almost relieved when Eve began to scream.

Though the baby was aware that her aunt was not Haley, she calmed easily in her arms. She made grabs for Ryan's long blonde hair when it fell down toward her. Ryan smiled. Holding her niece brought out hidden desires in her. She wondered what a child of her and Jake would look like.

Ryan was lonely. Lifting Eve into her arms, she walked out of her room and in to Jake's. Jake was sleeping stretched out on his bed, his arm thrown over his pillow. She tiptoed toward him and sat down in his bed. Her hold on Eve loosened as they both laid down in the bed. She rested her head on Jake's arm and waited for sleep to come.

* * *

The next morning, Jake was surprised to awake to the baby's quiet crying, his arms wrapped around his roommate.

"Ryan?" he said in surprise. She awoke slowly and felt her entire body pressed against his, his arms looped around her.

"Jake," she said. She couldn't help the wave of contentment and desire that washed through her.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked. He seemed to take their spooning quite calmly.

"No," she said. They had done this before, but they'd never woken up so close.

Jake inhaled the scent of her hair before coming to a startling realization-he didn't with she were Peyton. He was happy with Ryan in his arms.

"I have to get up and feed the baby," she said, sounding surprised to hear herself speaking.

Jake followed her to the kitchen and watched as she heated up a bottle of formula. He'd been insensitive the previous night, he realized. Ryan would never realize that she was the foremost girl in his heart, even if he loved Peyton forever.

Slowly he walked to her and placed his hands on her hips. Underneath him, she stiffened. He turned her to face him and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I love you. You mean everything to me. You know that, right?" he said. She looked up into his eyes and smiled.

"I do know. And I love you too," she said, reaching up to peck his cheek.

"Peyton's probably always going to be around. But you definitely are. I'm not going to replace you," he promised.

"You'd better not," she said, relaxing her head on his chest.

His lips grazed her forehead as Eve began to complain loudly from her chair.

Jake left to shower, and Ryan watched him long after he'd gone. Part of her knew she should pack up and leave. He'd never love her the way she needed it. Would it ever be enough?

* * *

"What am I doing here?" asked Haley aloud, surprised to wake up on her wide bed, next to Nathan. She shivered before realizing that she was clad only in her bra and underwear. 

"You fell asleep in the study," said Nathan. She turned slightly to see him sitting on the edge of the far side of the bed, with his back to her.

"You carried me up?" she asked. She saw his head nod before he stood and began to walk out of the room.

"Of course."

"Nathan, I know what you're trying to do." The words escaped from Haley's mouth before she could stop them.

"What is it that I'm doing?" he asked.

"You're trying to make me see the light. Fall into your arms for our happily ever after. It's not going to happen," she said.

"Right, because you're not in love with me. I'd forgotten," he said sarcastically.

"Get over yourself. I'm _not_. I would have been by now, had you stayed. But you didn't. You left," she said angrily. He turned to her, his face calm. For a moment, he eyed her with interest.

"That was three years ago. Can you honestly say you've changed?" she demanded. She stiffened as she felt his eyes roam over her bra, her breasts threatening to spill out.

"I got you, didn't I?" he asked calmly.

"You don't have me," she argued

"I'm sorry, were you here last night?" he asked. "I had you in every way known to man and then some. I married you and you sleep in my bed every night. Face it Haley you belong to me and you know it."

"Never," she spat at him. "You'll never own me, not the way a man who had my love could. See but that's just it with you Nathan isn't it? You don't really care about me. It's all just about possession and victory. You just need to be able to feel like you've won. Well congratulations you've won and married me but doesn't it kill you knowing that it was by default, that the only reason I'm here today was because I needed your money. I didn't come here because I loved you, I came here simply as a means to an end."

He stiffened at her words turning to look at her. "Gee Haley if I didn't know better I would think you were trying to make me angry. What are you hoping for a repeat performance of last night? Hoping that if you get me angry enough that I'll ravage you just like I did last night. Huh is that it Hales? Well you know Haley there is no need for all these games all you have to do is ask."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Do you really think what you did was that special."

"Now Haley there's no need to try and deny it. I'm more than happy to give you just what you want."

"Ha, like you even know what I want."

"Oh I do and I believe it starts with a little something like this," he said as he rolled towards her suddenly pinning her beneath him on the bed.

She squirmed and he smiled remembering vividly the events of the night before. Leaning down he ran his tongue over the pulse point in her neck and was gratified to feel her shiver in response. Slowly he began kissing his way lower and lower down her body stopping to give extra attention to her engorged nipples straining through the lace of her bra. He could hear her beginning to pant and continued his way lower still, he could feel her body tensing in anticipation as he drew closer and closer to his destination. His thumbs slid under the waistband of her panties drawing them down ever so slowly.

Finally she was exposed to his waiting mouth. Putting his hands under her hips he lifted her up to give him easier access before beginning to use his tongue to pleasure her. He started slowly at first, with tantalizingly slow licks and thrusts of his tongue. He felt her hands come down to grip his hair trying to hold him closer, wanting to feel his tongue even deeper inside of her and paused to smile. No matter what she said with her words, her body could never lie to him.

He started to increase the tempo of the thrusts of his tongue and felt her hips start bucking in response. He knew he had her exactly where he wanted her. He could hear the soft little pants and moans that she always made when she was getting close to orgasm. Reaching a hand up he began massaging her left breast in rhythm with the tempo of his tongue and felt her excitement increase if that was possible.

Her hips started jerking and she moaned his name. "Oh Nathan, I'm so close."

Looking up at her he smiled. "Well in that case I'm finished," he said.

"What?" she choked out still caught up in the sensations that he had been causing mere moments before.

"What do you mean?"

"Well according to you I don't even know what you want. So I wouldn't want to spoil your image of me. So I'll just leave you to it, I'm sure you can find some way to relieve yourself," he said rolling away from her.

Her eyes snapped open as she finally absorbed what he was saying. Noticing him lying over the other side of the bed apparently engrossed in the newspaper she stared in disbelief.

"No way," she said.

He didn't even bother to glance up at her. "No way what?" he asked mildly showing little interest in hearing her response.

"No way are you going to leave me like this. You cannot get me all worked up like this then just leave me unsatisfied."

He didn't respond and she reached over slapping his arm. When he continued to

ignore her she slid over closer to him her hand brushing over his hair roughened thigh.

"Come on Nathan, I'll make it worth your while," she wheedled.

His hand came down to grasp hers firmly removing it from his leg. "Haley do you mind I'm trying to read the business pages."

She almost screamed in frustration as he continued to ignore her. She couldn't let him get away with this. Ripping the sheet from his body she moved to straddle him.

"You cannot leave me like this," she said. She stroked a hand over his muscled chest as he watched her. Leaning down she teased his nipple with her tongue. He moved the paper in front of her continuing to read.

Angrily she pulled it out of his hands. "I want all of your attention on me," she pouted.

"Well then you're going to have to do better than that," he said.

She could see the challenge in his eyes and her determination grew. She put her lips to his jaw kissing along his jaw line, her hands slipping into his boxer shorts and stroking over his length. She heard him moan and knew that victory would be hers. Angling her mouth over his she kissed him still stroking his shaft and felt him begin to stir in her hands. She moved back kissing down his chest making her way down, pulling his boxer shorts from him as she did. She brushed her thumb over his tip and felt his erection growing, massaging his balls she gently licked down his length than back up again before capturing him in her mouth.

He groaned louder as her teeth scraped over him, he grasped her head pushing her down so that she took more of him into her mouth. His erection by now was pulsing and grasping her hips he lifted her up and impaled her on him. She moaned his name as she lifted herself up and down each movement taking him deeper inside of her. She looked at him and found him watching her intently, staring into her eyes as he thrust into her. She couldn't drag her eyes away from his as she felt his climax start to hit, her own body climaxing in response to his. They continued to stare at each other as the waves of pleasure rocked their bodies. Only when she felt him start to grow limp did she tear her gaze away from his rolling away from him, unable to look at him in case he saw the truth in her eyes.


	77. I Still Believe

Chapter Seventy-Seven: I Still Believe

* * *

Haley knelt in front of her daughter's crib while she napped, staring lovingly down at her. Eve had recently passed her first birthday, and was growing rapidly. 

She reached a hand down to stroke her smooth cheek. She wrapped a dark curl around one finger. Eve sensed the motion and briefly opened her dark blue eyes. She smiled at her mother before drifting back to sleep, showing several small, pearly white teeth.

As Nathan walked down the hall, a ray of sunlight seeped into the room, falling on Haley's blonde hair. He stopped abruptly, watching her stand over their daughter.

After smiling at the affection between the two he loved most, he couldn't help but let his gaze fall to her hair falling down her back, her small tank top, the outline of her ass in her jeans. As older and younger as she sometimes seemed, Haley was twenty-two and looked it, despite the baby she'd carried.

Briefly, he imagined what he'd do to her that night. She'd probably let him do it, too. For months they'd been partaking in what they fondly referred to as their "affair"-constant, passionate sex, and the only thing that kept them together. Every night he swore he'd call it off, insist they start again in a more functional relationship, and every night she managed to avoid the conversation.

Sighing yet not breaking her of her reverie, he crossed the hall to their room and stripped down to his boxers to sleep the afternoon away.

* * *

After spending another half hour with her sleeping daughter, Haley walked to their room in search for Nathan. She was mildly disappointed to find him asleep in their bed, but quickly decided that it was an obstacle that she wouldn't be stopped by. 

Haley quickly shed her tank top and jeans, leaving her in the strapless black lace bra and matching thong that Nathan had bought for her on the previous Valentine's Day.

Hopping onto the bed, she straddled him around the waist. Sighing in disappointment when he didn't awaken, she considered reaching back to store him, before remembering she's used the tactic only a week earlier.

Catching sight of a pile of his silk ties on the bedside table, a much more original idea came to her.

* * *

"Haley? What the hell are you doing?" asked Nathan in annoyance. 

"Morning sunshine. Took you long enough," she said. He looked up in brief satisfaction to see his almost naked wife, before remembering that his wrists were tied to the bedposts and he was completely immobile.

"This your idea of a joke?" he asked angrily.

"What, don't like to be teased?" Haley leaned down until her breasts were mere inches above him.

She reached further to cut off his protests with a kiss. Immediately he deepened it and attempted to put his arms around her.

"Fuck Haley, I have things to do. Untie me," he demanded.

"Why should I?" she asked.

"Some of us have better things to do in the middle of the afternoon than lie around in bed. I have a meeting," he said. Though Haley had half a mind to leave him there, she reluctantly untied his wrists from the bedposts.

"There. Happy? Now go have fun with your business partners," she said sulkily. He smirked beneath her, and within a second had grasped her waist, lifted her off of him and dropped her onto the bed beside him. Before she could move, he'd rolled on top of her, pinning her in place.

"Fooled you, didn't I?" he said.

"What? Nathan, get off…" he clapped a hand on her mouth to silence her protests. Using his body to immobilize her, he grabbed one of the ties she'd used and quickly attached her to the bedpost. Underneath him, she squirmed in protest.

"Shut up," he said commandingly, leaning down to kiss her. Instantly her mood changed as she arched her body toward his.

Suddenly she broke away and stared up into his eyes. Blue eyes met brown and challenged all that their relationship was based on-control, passion, possession, even love.

Slowly, he took her compliant wrist and tied it up to join her other.

"So sure you aren't mine?" he asked, his voice low and husky, using the opportunity to bring up what she'd now been denying for months.

"You really need to tie me to up to prove to me that-," Nathan cut her off with a harsh, passionate kiss. Sliding a hand under her back, he pulled her up to collide her body with is. He smirked self-knowingly as he felt her hardened nipples, her body trembling in anticipation.

With effort, Haley broke off their kiss and tore her hot, swelling lips from his.

"Let me go," she demanded. He began to suck her neck, and felt her moan in response.

"Never."

Scowling darkly, he reached around her to undo her bra strap, revealing all of her to him. Reaching down, he tugged her underwear off, leaving her completely nude underneath him.

Nathan continued to suck her neck, knowing that she'd yell at him for leaving his mark.

Slowly, tantalizingly, he began to move his lips down her body. They kissed every crevice, every spot that he knew like the back of his hand. He began to nip at her already erect nipples, kissing and biting in turn. As she began to moan in response, his own desire began to grow. Reaching down, he slipped a hand between her legs to quicken her responses.

Pulling his hand up slightly, he was satisfied to find that she was already wet. With his light, agonizing touch he found her pleasure point and began to make her moans increase.

He knew she was ready, as he always did, when she began to scream out his name. Putting his arms back around her, he opened her legs with one of his knees before he slid inside of her, watching her eyes slide closed in ecstasy as his own orgasm began to roll through his body in intense waves of pleasure.

He thrust harder and harder, burying himself deep inside of her, taking her as roughly as he'd once never considered, back when she'd been a virgin and he'd been consumed by his guilt and pain.

Finally withdrawing from her, he looked down into her eyes. He cupped one of her round, firm breasts in his hand and waited for her to speak.

"Let me go," she said again, her breathing still heavy, the affects of her orgasm still on her. Trying to hide his disappointment, he carefully untied her wrists and rolled off of her.

Slowly she refastened her bra and grabbed her dressing gown from where she'd left it that morning, and ran from the room.

Nathan watched her curiously. Afterward, Haley was generally not in her most loving mood, but this was an all new low. Had he gone too far? Judging by her responses he was inclined to disagree with this, but in a relationship such as theirs it was hard to know where the boundaries lay.

* * *

Haley paced anxiously in the bathroom, calculating nervously. 

"Fuck. _Fuck_," she muttered to herself.

How could she have been so stupid?

It would have been bad enough if it had happened during their earlier days-the tender yet passionate love-making. It was better than conceiving during their rough, angry sex. The very thought of a child coming from such a union sickened her.

Anxiously biting a fingernail, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her hair was in complete disarray. Her lips were swollen, she had a hickey on her neck and slight blistering on her wrists. She ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to appear calm.

She was surprised Nathan wasn't yet kicking the door in. He'd become gradually less accepting of her temper tantrums.

Abruptly thrusting open the cabinet above the sink, she rooted around in it until she found what she was looking for-an abandoned pregnancy test that had stayed there since the time of Eve's birth.

With shaky fingers, she followed the directions on the box and waited the agonizing three minutes until it was complete.

When she saw the results, she screamed the first name that came to her head-

"NATHAN!"

She heard him come running through the hall. After jiggling the doorknob for a few seconds, he kicked the door open as she'd predicted he'd do. He ran to her, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, shaking and crying.

Quickly he turned on the shower, and waited until the water was warm to get in and pull her in with him.

She wasn't soothed by the warm water. Her body began to shake in fear. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close as possible to him. He wrapped one arm around her waist and placed the other on the back of her head and kissed her hair repeatedly, muttering soothing, nonsensical phrases.

Her hands slowly crept out from around her and clutched at him, afraid to break contact. He pulled her farther in to him, their slick bodies pressed up together.

As the hot water slowly diminished, he turned it off. Stepping out, he gathered her still quaking body in his arms and began to walk back to the bedroom, cradling her like a baby.

In the bedroom, he laid her atop the crisp white sheets and laid down beside her, pulling her in to him again. She buried her face in his shoulder, her salty tears mingling with the water of the shower.

"What's wrong?" he asked eventually, speaking soothingly into her hair.

"I'm pregnant," she said. Deciding that now wasn't the moment to pick a fight over this, he simply nodded.

"Do you need anything?" he asked softly. She looked up at him, her red-rimmed eyes beseeching him.

"I want… I just need to feel…" Haley flushed a deep red, and Nathan realized how difficult it was for her to ask it of him. Slowly he nodded, and rolled over to position himself on top of her.

Suddenly, he was at a loss. He began to kiss her, but he didn't know anymore what was acceptable. Would he hurt her, if he rode her roughly again as he'd done so many times in the past month? She seemed to need something else.

He brushed light kisses on her neck, muttering soothing words in between, trying to comfort her. He brushed a closed eyelid and then another on her mouth.

Slowly he worked until her breath began to come in laboured, short breaths. He moved slowly inside of her, holding her closely as he did so, feeling the heat of her body against his.

"Thank-you," she murmured after they were done.

"Of course," he said.

"I'm sorry I freaked. I don't know what came over me," she admitted.

"I'm glad you're having another baby," he said.

Haley looked up at him, her eyes finally calm.

"Me too," she said, reaching up to kiss him again, once again embarking on a new stage of their relationship.

* * *

Author's note: As some of you may know from reading Davis' stories, Davis and I (brookenlucas 12 and I) are starting up a C2, "Can't Walk Away". It's a place you can go to find the stories that we think are the best ones on the site. So keep your eyes open for that, and enjoy the update.

* * *


	78. Lonely Nights

Chapter Seventy-Eight: Lonely Nights

* * *

Author's note: Sorry I was so slow with the last update. I'm still ahead so they should keep coming, I'm just less ahead then I was. But on a lighter note, here's some brucas happiness: I just planned out how many kids they're going to have, and their names. It took a while.

* * *

Haley awoke from her sleep one morning with Nathan lightly kissing her shoulder. She smiled.

"How much time do you have?" she asked, turning to face him.

She scowled as the doorbell rang.

"Who on Earth would be here at ten in the morning on a Saturday?" she asked in irritation. Nathan watched protectively as she went to answer it in her satin dressing gown, and walked quickly to follow her.

Sighing, she pulled open the heavy front door, only to come face to face with someone she hadn't seen in almost two years.

"Seamus?" she said in disbelief, hastily tightening her dressing gown around herself.

"Haley," he said, his voice calm. While Haley stepped forward to hug him, he nodded at Nathan over his head. Impressive, seeing as the last time they'd met they'd both seemed fully willing to start trading blows.

"How are you, Seamus?" asked Nathan, attempting to remain civil. Haley smiled up at him and raised her eyebrows slightly. "I'll go get Eve."

Seamus was silent for a moment as he watched Nathan walk off.

"You guys really are married. You talk to each other without saying things discernable to us lower beings. Place looks different," he said, glancing around.

"We change it all the time. Big source of entertainment," she said, leading him inside.

"Must be. I just graduated. Yale Law," he said awkwardly. Haley smiled.

"Congratulations. That's amazing. I never…" Haley blushed and touched her hands to her flat stomach. He noticed the gesture, but said nothing.

"You've got a good thing going here. Sorry to intrude on it," he said.

"You're not. I mean, I guess you are, but I think I owe you at least a morning every two years. I screwed you over pretty royally," she said.

Seamus looked up at her, but before he could answer Nathan had entered, leading Eve by the hand. She squealed and ran to her mother. Haley grinned and lifted her on to her lap.

"Eve, this is Seamus Warren Foster. Seamus, this is my daughter Eva Elizabeth Scott," said Haley. Eve ducked her head into her mother's shoulder.

"Nice to meet you, Eve. Oh, I think you're having your house robbed," he said mildly, as the front door banged open and two sets of footsteps came quickly toward them.

Haley smiled as Jake and Ryan entered, and Eve immediately catapulted herself off her lap and ran toward her aunt.

"Wyan!" she called joyfully. Eve was far from managing the English language, but she was becoming quite adept at the names of her closest family.

"Baby!" said Ryan, reaching down to pick her up and lifted her into the air. Eve giggled delightedly and clung to Ryan.

Haley glanced across at Seamus and noticed him eyeing Ryan with interest as she lifted Eve again in to the air.

"Guys, come sit," said Haley. Ryan attempted to put Eve back on her feet, but when she attempted to Eve refused to gain solid footing, forcing Ryan to lift her onto her hip again. Ryan rolled her eyes good naturedly before complying.

"Seamus," said Jake in surprise, reaching down to shake his hand. Ryan whipped her head toward him, blonde hair flying in every direction.

"Seamus? You're Seamus?" she said in surprise.

"And you're Ryan," he said, standing. She smiled and nodded.

"Ryan Scott. Nice to meet you," she said. Jake raised his eyebrows as she sat down next to him. Haley looked up and was relieved to see that Nathan had vanished from the room.

"Jake, sit," she said. He reluctantly lowered himself onto the sofa beside her, his eyes on Ryan and Seamus.

"What's up with you?" asked Jake, attempting to appear neutral.

"I just graduated. Thought I'd swing by," said Seamus nonchalantly.

"Congratulations," said Ryan, thoroughly absorbed in a particularly demanding Eve.

"Thanks. Where do you go?" he asked. Ryan looked up from her niece in surprise.

"I'm about to go into my junior year at NYU. Jake's a senior," she said.

"What's your major?" he asked.

"Art history. You're a lawyer?" she asked.

"Yeah. I just got an internship, actually."

"Really." She shrieked in surprise when Eve grabbed a lock of her long blonde hair and pulled hard.

Through the high-pitched shriek, Haley could hear Nathan walking down the hall toward them. She hurriedly took Jake's hand and pulled him out of the room behind her, leaving Ryan, Seamus and Eve on the couch.

"What are you doing? He's probably mauling her right now!" he said furiously. Haley raised her eyebrows.

"With my daughter a foot away? If he is, I give you full permission to kick his ass," she said sarcastically.

"He's not good enough for her," said Jake protectively. Haley smacked the back of his head in annoyance before he'd realized his error.

"What are you guys doing out here?" asked Nathan in surprise, coming down the hall.

"Just, uh talking. Hey Nathan," she said, speaking louder than necessary. She pressed a kiss onto his lips. His hands fell to her hips and he pulled her in closer until Jake coughed politely, and the three of them re-entered the room.

Ryan had gotten the message. She had moved to the armchair, and was bouncing Eve in her lap.

Jake went to side beside Seamus, and Nathan sat opposite them. Haley rolled her eyes as Nathan pulled her onto his lap and secured his arms around her.

"You guys swing by for any particular reason?" asked Nathan. He angled Haley on his lap so that she was directly facing Seamus. He slipped his hand under her shirt and slowly began to move it upwards, feeling her nerves tense in response. He watched in amusement as she tried to regulate her shallow, labored breaths to appear calm and collected to the assembled crowd. She attempted to slide off his lap, but he held her firmly.

She breathed a sigh in relief as he stopped running his fingers down her back and withdrew his hand from her shirt, and began to relax. Slowly his hand moved up to her hair and began to tangle in it, brushing his fingers down the back of her neck and causing shivers to run down her spine.

Nathan and Haley had reached new compassion in their relationship, but even she couldn't deny that forcing her to look at her old love while her lover slowly made her desire him was cruel.

It was torture. Slow, excruciating torture.

His strong arms still preventing her from changing position, he brushed a kiss on her temple and dropped his hand down to fondle the outside of her thigh. Slowly his hand moved toward the inside, between her legs, and she gasped in surprise as he moved in closer.

"Can you guys watch Eve for a second? Nathan has a conference call," lied Haley, finally wrenching herself free from his grasp and standing up. He stood as well, and took her hand. They walked out of the room, leaving Seamus in confusion, and Jake and Ryan smiling indulgently.

He pressed her against a pillar in the hall and kissed her deeply before she could even open her mouth to speak.

"You couldn't resist, could you? You had to make me compare," she said, between kisses.

"No," he said, running his lips over the hickey he'd left only days previously. "I had to show you there was no comparison."

He moved her arms around her neck and puts his own arm behind her knees. She didn't even bother to protest as he carried her back upstairs and into the bedroom. Her obvious want of him made it pointless.

After temporarily quenching their need, Haley and Nathan hurried back downstairs to rejoin their guests.

"Oh, you're going?" asked Haley, upon reentering the living room.

"Uh, yeah. I have an interview," he said awkwardly. Haley wondered how blatant they'd been to him.

"Wait a sec. We have something to announce," said Nathan, slipping an arm around Haley's waist. She looked up at him in horror, amazed that he felt such a strong need to claim her as his.

"What?" asked Ryan, looking expectantly.

Nathan glanced down at Haley. She scowled, realized he was toying with her mind again-he wasn't going to give her the easy out. He was going to make her say.

"I'm pregnant," she said at last, smiling honestly. Ryan hugged her while Jake and Nathan did their manly hug routine. Seamus walked up to Haley.

"Congratulations," he said simply, wrapping his arms around her. She smile gratefully at him, briefly imagining what sort of reaction Nathan would have if she ever were to be impregnated by someone else. But she didn't feel guilty about the comparison.

After all, it was Nathan that had brought it up.

* * *

"She went out with him!" Haley answered her cell phone later on in the evening to hear Jake Jagielski, not even bothering to announce himself. 

"Slow down. Ryan and Seamus?" she asked.

"Yeah! In her little red dress! I should never have let her buy that dress," he said angrily. Haley giggled.

"If I didn't know better I'd say you were jealous, Jake," she said. He scoffed.

"Doorbell, I have to go. My date's here," he said.

Jake dropped the phone onto his bed, abruptly hanging up on her. Slowly he walked down the hallway to the door and opened it.

"Hi. You're Jake Jagielski? I'm Nikki Turner," said his blind date, a blatantly attractive brunette, complete with a nose piercing, hoop earring and eyeliner.

He stared at her a moment longer.

"No, sorry, you have the wrong apartment," he said abruptly, slamming the door and walking toward the couch, dropping on to it to watch TV until Ryan got home.

She arrived back two hours later, at ten. He smiled in amusement when she arrived home hours before he'd scheduled to start worrying in earnest.

"Not such a successful date?" he asked, trying not to sound hopeful.

"God that guy is _dull_. And he's in the midst of all this drama with his girlfriend. Amanda. Want to know more about her? Because I swear I know everything. What are we watching?" she asked. And so Ryan Scott, in her little red dress, after her first date in months, dropped down onto the sofa beside her roommate to watch reruns of Arrested Development.

* * *

"I just tried to call Ryan, but her phone's off. Did she and Jake go out?" asked Nathan in surprise, walking into the bathroom where Haley was drying her hair. She flicked off her hair dryer and slowly turned to him. 

"No," she said honestly. Sensing it would take a while to get an honest answer out of her, Nathan slipped an arm around her waist to pull her in closer to him, and tilted her chin upward with his other hand. She looked into his clear blue eyes and sighed.

"Ryan went out with Seamus."

As the doorbell rang, Haley broke away from him and ran downstairs to get it. He followed her dazedly, his mind slowly coming to conclusions.

"Seamus," said Haley worriedly, upon answering the door. Nathan came up behind her, moved her out of the way, brought back his fist and took a swing at Seamus' jaw.

Still reeling from the blow, it took a moment for him to gain enough focus to pull back his own fist to punch Nathan's jaw. After Nathan had socked him once more, Seamus launched himself angrily at him and they fell to the floor, kicking and punching wherever possible. Quickly Nathan found his stride and flipped them over so he had the advantage, beating his head again and again.

"Guys! Stop!" said Haley in frustration. Reaching down to pull them apart, she caught the side impact of one of Seamus' blows and went flying.

This caused Nathan to hit him extra hard one more time before jumping up and running to her. Falling to the floor, he cradled her in his arms and looked to where he'd hit her.

Seamus' eyes widened in horror as Haley looked up and he saw the noticeable swelling around her right eye.

"Got yourself a nice shiner there. You okay?" asked Nathan. She nodded, trying to block her tears. Nathan placed a comforting hand on her stomach.

"I'm fine," she muttered. Nathan looked over his shoulder at Seamus.

"Get out," he said coolly, eying what a mess he'd made of the younger man.

"Haley, I'm sorry, I…" Haley glanced up at him.

"Get out," she said, repeating her husband's words. Seamus nodded slowly and left out the front door.

"Sure you're okay?" he asked. She slowly stood.

"Why did you punch him?" she asked.

"He went out with Ryan to get you jealous. Screwing with you is bad enough, I won't have him screwing with her. And no one hits my woman and gets away with it," he said, his angry words gradually flowing into playfulness.

"He didn't. He's over me. I should be pissed at you for this," she said.

"But you're too overwhelmed by my sense of family loyalty to be?" he said hopefully. She laughed and put her arm around his waist.

"Something like that. Come on, let's go to bed," she said, sounding eager to end her long, confusing day.


	79. Don't Tell Me

Chapter Seventy-Nine: Don't Tell Me

Lucas tapped his hands on the steering wheel of the rental car, eager to reach Tree Hill and unload his kids from the car.

To his right, he indistinctly heard Brooke humming.

_"Get a load of me, get a load of you, walking down the street and I hardly know you…_

_It's just like we were meant to be._

_Holding hands with you and we're out at night,_

_Got a girlfriend you say it isn't right,_

_And I've got someone waiting too."_

"Please God tell me I didn't marry someone who can sing that song in its entirety," he said, laughing. She looked across at him and grinned.

"Jus because it isn't depressive angst music doesn't mean it isn't good. Maybe you should have married Peyton," she said teasingly.

"Kill me now. Are we almost there?" he asked. Brooke, who had been sitting low in her chair, sat up straighter.

"Next interchange, we'll be there in ten. Ugh, I can't believe we're actually back here," she said in disgust. She hadn't often visited her parents since she'd moved out. They'd come to visit her occasionally, but not considerably more than she'd visited them.

"We could have invited them to Dev's birthday and gotten out of this," he reminded her.

"But then the birthday would have sucked. I want him to have good birthday memories," she said.

"He would have. He loves his grandparents. It's only us that hate them," he reminded her. She scrunched up her nose.

"I don't _hate _them. I… shut up, Lucas Scott. Oh look, it's the hotel. We've had sex there," she said. He smiled.

"There's the boardwalk. We've actually done it there too," he said. She slapped his arm.

"Hush, not in front of the little ones. Home, sweet home," she said bitterly, as they pulled into the "main" street of Tree Hill, North Carolina.

"Is anyone we know even around?" he asked.

"Probably not. Jake's parents still live around here but he usually works in New York and hangs with Nathan and Haley. Peyton never bothers to come back," said Brooke.

"Chris?" asked Lucas. Brooke looked guiltily at him.

"God, like I'd know," she said, scoffing. Lucas shook his head. Every time he mentioned him, he expected her to come clean.

She reached across him to honk the horn as they pulled into her white, red doored childhood home. As Brooke and Lucas climbed out of the car and awoke a sleeping boy each, Oliver and Juliet Davis came out of the house.

"Brooke, don't you look lovely. Love the hair, you've always managed to hide those roots so well. Hayden!" said her mother, kissing Brooke's cheek. Brooke clenched her teeth and forced herself not to remind Juliet that she had real hair. Real everything, unlike some…

"Lucas, how are you? Your brother's stocks are soaring, you must be proud," said Oliver Davis, shaking his son in law's hand. Over his head, Lucas grimaced at Brooke. She couldn't help but smile-Lucas never could remember to do his research.

"So, those Knicks…" said Lucas lamely, handing Devon to his grandfather. Brooke linked arms with her husband in a gesture of support as they walked into the house.

Once they'd settled the boys down for their afternoon nap, Brooke's parents directed her childhood room. Climbing the stairs with Lucas, she was disgusted to find it hadn't remotely changed.

"God, it's like they expect you to sleep somewhere else," she said in amazement, dropping down onto the single bed.

"Maybe they think Dev and Hayden came about by immaculate conception?" he suggested, sitting down next to her.

"Do they have any idea of how many times we've gone at it in this very bed?" she asked. He laughed.

"Brings back memories, I have to admit. Good ones. Remember after the fireworks on Fourth of July?" he asked.

"Back in the days when we were good, old fashioned fuck buddies. Of course I remember," she said.

"That lasted like a week, Brooke," he said critically.

"Mm. Should have lasted longer," she said, reaching out to grab the necklace she'd once bought for him. Tugging it, he brought his lips to hers.

"Your parents…" he muttered.

"Babe, this isn't high school," she said, pushing him backward onto the bed. She straddled his him and he grabbed her hips while she slid out of her shirt.

Shedding his own shirt, she leaned down and began to trace kisses down his muscled abdomen. She held off tantalizingly for a moment before sliding off his boxers and jeans and taking him in to her mouth.

"Oh God…" he muttered, his hands gripping her shoulder as she licked down his shaft.

"That's right," she said in satisfaction. She pulled herself up back to straddle him and guided him into her. She began to make gasps of pleasure as she moved herself up and down him.

"BROOKE!" Both of them heard Juliet Davis' call from the ground floor. Lucas pulled back, prepared to withdraw, but she moved toward him, thrusting him inside of her again.

"Let her call," she said. She rocked her hips slightly and he began to lose focus on the outside world.

"Brooke!" came a scandalized voice from the door. Brooke instantly covered her breasts with her hands and turned innocently to her mother.

"Yes?" she asked crisply.

"I… I was calling you," she said.

"We're a little busy. We'll put up a sign next time," she said apologetically. Juliet huffed before leaving.

Brooke looked down at her husband and burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"Okay, now tell me that wasn't fun," she said. He pulled out of her and reached up to take her shoulders. Pulling her down until their entire bodies touched, he kissed her deeply.

"You make life interesting, Brooke Davis. You always have. Now…" Lucas slid his arms around her and flipped them around awkwardly on the narrow bed.

"My turn?" she asked, her green eyes gleaming. He leaned down to brush another kiss on her lips.

"Most definitely."

* * *

Brooke took delight in her parent's horrified expressions when she and Lucas arrived downstairs for dinner two hours later, holding hands. 

"Daddy!" called out Devon, throwing himself at his father. Brooke smiled in relief when Hayden sprang into her own arms. Devon was now three and a less manageable armful.

"Need help, Mom?" asked Brooke innocently.

"No. You guys can tour around, see how the town's changed," suggested Juliet, angrily mixing up a salad. Brooke dropped her younger son onto the tiled floor and took his hand.

Brooke and Lucas began to walk down the sidewalk with their sons in between them, looking for anything that had changed in the last years. Eventually they came across the high school that Brooke, Haley, Peyton and Jake had intended. Lucas came across an old basketball court and a passable ball and began to school his elder son in the way off the three pointer.

"Go Scott!" said Brooke enthusiastically, watching her husband teach her young son everything he'd learned. Lucas looked sideways and smiled at his brunette goddess.

Brooke smiled as Hayden began to clap his hands together, cheering on his big brother. Suddenly a breeze rifled through her long dark hair, and she looked up. For some reason, she felt like she'd finally appeased the Gods.

And it felt good.


	80. Try To Understand

Chapter Eighty: Try to Understand

* * *

Author's note: Guess what? I finally finished planning out this story. It's going to be 116 chapters. And coming up is some of the naleyest stuff so far.

* * *

"So, taking me to Paris this weekend?" asked Haley casually. Nathan wandered in from the bathroom, cleaning off the last remnants of his shaving cream with a hand towel. 

"You have to be at the doctor on Monday. Sorry, couldn't reschedule," he said apologetically.

"Yeah, I was just hoping you'd forget. So, non-alcoholic honeymoon. Where to?" she asked. For a second, his gaze dropped to her. She was lying completely naked on the bed, her hands roaming around her slightly rounded stomach.

"Let's go to Tree Hill. Brooke and Lucas were just there," he said.

"Inspiration? Cool. We can revisit all the places I shot you down," she said. He leaned over her and kissed her lips.

"Or we could tour around the city and point out the many venues that we've…" Haley pulled him down onto the bed beside her and kissed him to silence his speech.

* * *

Haley and Nathan stopped the car by the river court in the late evening and watched the river flow by for a time before getting out to go sit on the picnic bench. 

"Ryan showed up. I thought she was your girlfriend," she remembered.

"You said something about how Lucas and were both in love with high school girls," he added.

"You tried to give me a lame bracelet. Pink plastic beads from a Cracker Jack's package," she said. They met eyes. "I wish I'd taken it."

"It's okay," he said, finding her left hand with his right. He held it up. "You have this."

Her wedding back twinkled into the light until she wrapped her hand around her neck in their kiss.

"Mm. Sorry, we can't do it here," she said, pulling away.

"Why not?" he asked, pretending to pout.

"Because this is a picnic table. Let's continue on our tour, shall we?" she suggested, walking to the car.

* * *

"The infamous Tree Hill country club. Home of our notable first meeting," said Nathan. 

"Yep. We used to hang here ridiculously much. Kind of stupid, now that I think about it," she said.

"Ah, and the Country Club pool. One of the many christened by my brother and his wife," said Nathan.

"Lucas told you that? Thankfully, Brooke didn't feel she had to share," said Haley.

"Overshare, you mean," he said. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"Brooke's specialty is over sharing," she said.

"You hungry?"

"We're not members," she reminded him, glancing toward the door of the Club.

"Like that'll stop us," he said, scoffing. Within minutes, Nathan had received a table for himself and his wife, despite that never of them were wearing Country Club regulation clothing.

Haley grinned as three waiters fluttered around them.

"I have to admit, that was impressive," she said, ordering a die coke for herself.

"The thought of having us here was too much to resist," he said.

"You know, that waiter over there? His name's Javier. I've known him since I was six, but I don't think he ever recognized me as anyone besides your wife," she said. Nathan glanced over at Haley, her long, shiny blonde hair, her subtle yet immaculate makeup, her rounded stomach and slightly swollen breasts, visible in her scoop necked sweater.

"I don't think I would. You're not that Haley James anymore," he said.

"Well technically I'm not Haley James at all anymore. But whatever," she said, laughing as an overly zealous waiter placed a basket of bread on the table and sent a water glass flying.

* * *

"I like driving. I'd forgotten after all the company cars," said Haley in contentment. Nathan glanced sideways at her and smiled. 

"I don't mind the company cars. They have privacy," he said. She smiled and leaned over to kiss him as they reached a stoplight.

Haley drove them without further incident to the best hotel in Tree Hill.

After quickly checking them in, Nathan carried their bags to the elevator and up the top floor. Haley smiled when she realized he was leading them to the room he'd originally had, that summer in Tree Hill.

"I sat in your lap here before we even…" Haley, about to recite a memory, was cut off by Nathan's urgent kiss. Under better circumstances she would have wrapped her legs around his waist, but with her extra pregnancy weight she didn't feel nimble enough. He obliged her by scooping her into his arms and bringing her to the bed.

His fingers were working on the zipper in her skirt before she began to fell a prickling feeling in her stomach. Throwing him off of her, she managed to reach the bathroom just in time.

Nathan ran in after her and began to comb her hair away from her face until he held all of it in his hands while she threw up into the toilet.

"You done?" he asked sympathetically. She nodded. As she stood up, he took an elastic from her wrist and tied her hair into a pony tail. She smiled gratefully at him.

"I'm good," she said, filling a paper cup with water from the sink and washing out her mouth.

They walked back to the bed. He walked around it to drop onto the far side, while she climbed into the right. Shivering, she remembered her most distasteful memory of Nathan-him leaving her, asleep on the bed. It had been this bed.

She turned herself around so that her head was resting on his lap. Pulling the elastic from her hair, she arranged it so that it fell over both of them like golden silk.

"Boys are supposed to make you sicker," she said suddenly, running her hand over her stomach. He smiled.

"If we get another girl Luke's going to start making wisecracks about my masculinity," said Nathan.

"Probably because he hasn't seen you in all your masculinity," she teased him. He couldn't help but smile proudly at her praise.

"Probably. What, Brooke's not happy?" he asked.

"Brooke's very happy, and you heard nothing," she said. As she spoke, she lifted his hand from the sheets and brought it to her stomach. He felt a soft yet distinct kick.

"It's growing," he commented.

"I refer to "it" as niña. Or niño. Depending on my mood. It's Spanish," she exclaimed proudly.

"I know. Cute. I hope Evie's okay with Jake and Ryan," he said.

"I know that they're careful, and she loves them and all, but I just can't help but worry," said Haley.

"I was so worried when she was born. I didn't know if I could be a good father to her," said Nathan.

"I never doubted it," she said, lacing her hand together with his. "Besides, you took care of Leigh and Ryan for a while."

"Never said it was logical."

"It isn't. None of it is. Our marriage, our daughter, your feelings for me," she said, propping herself up on her elbow to look at him. "My feelings for you. I don't understand them."

For so long, Haley had denied their existence. Though he'd always known it to be a lie, he couldn't help but be gratified by her words.

"Life would be boring if it was that simple," he said.

"Life could never be boring with us," she said.

Slowly she rolled away until her head was on her pillow. Tucking the sheets around her, she stared into the darkness for a moment. Quickly she felt his arms encircle her, her back pressed into his front. She relaxed and turned toward him, resting her head in his shoulder, the growing baby between them.


	81. Guardian Angels

Chapter Eighty-One: Guardian Angels

Back in New York, life was less relaxing. Haley found it difficult to force her growing body into living as actively as she was used to. Gradually she began to turn down invitations to the events they were invited to, in favour of taking care of Eve.

In the middle of October, after making a congratulatory call to Brooke and Lucas to celebrate their anniversary, Nathan and Haley and Eve were in the kitchen attempting to make a passable meal.

"So what do they mean by "season to taste"? Couldn't they just give me a measurement?" asked Nathan. Haley, dancing around the room with Eve in her arms, halted abruptly.

"If it doesn't tell you it probably isn't that important. Leave it out," she said easily. He shrugged and put away the ingredient in question.

"Haley, put her down. You'll strain yourself," he said worriedly, looking up from the cookbook. Haley rolled her eyes and placed Eve on the island in the middle of the kitchen so that she stood at roughly their height.

"Hey baby," he said, making faces at his daughter as she ran toward him. Eve giggled in delight.

Haley looked up and smiled as her husband played with their daughter, her heart warming. Lately, it hard been hard to hate him, as much as she wanted to. The once feeling of desperation, of being trapped, was now gone. As hard as she tried to recapture it, she was unable to. Slowly, she was working back to the feelings she'd felt at eighteen.

"Kid's growing like a weed," came a voice from the door.

Haley immediately recognized the voice and spun around. They'd both heard the footsteps in the hall, but were very used to having Ryan and Jake drop by unannounced.

"Taylor," said Haley in disbelief, her arms automatically winding around her round stomach.

"You're Taylor?" asked Nathan in amazement, staring between his wife and her sister. He grasped Eve around the waist and lifted her down to the floor.

"I'm Taylor," she said. Haley angrily ran from the kitchen. Nathan stared after and considered following her until he observed Taylor kneel down and observe her niece.

"This is Eva? She's beautiful," said Taylor.

"Eve. And thanks," he said distractedly.

"She looks just like you," said Taylor. Nathan frowned, wanting to hate the woman.

"That is how these things work," he said.

"Ouch. And here I thought you'd be thanking me," she said, rising again.

"Why's that?"

"Because, however indirectly, I gave you everything you've ever wanted. Haley would have married Seamus without my intervention," taunted Taylor.

"You conned her?"

"God no. Those people were going to kill me. You're just lucky it turned out this way," she explained.

"There's more to it than just luck. What are you doing here, Taylor? Come to screw with her life again? If that's it, you'd better leave. Life is working out pretty great for us right now," he said.

"I've been seeing that in the papers. All those parties you've been going to together. Oh wait, no you haven't," she said, walking up to him.

"Haley's pregnant. I can understand if she doesn't want to mingle with the entire Manhattan social scene," he said.

"In that case, I can understand if you want to drive a vehicle a little less high maintenance then," she said. Nathan looked past her shoulder to where Eve was watching them with interest, her thumb in her mouth.

Nathan made a noise of disgust before scooping her off the ground and leaving to find his wife. He paused at the door.

"Technically, you are a relation. So take a room if you have to. But Taylor…" Nathan turned around slowly, his dark blue eyes flashing dangerously. "Don't mess with my family."

* * *

If Haley had been able to curl up into the fetal position, Nathan could see at once that she would have. But being pregnant, she had to be content with sitting cross legged on the bed and crying her eyes out.

"Can I come in?" he asked, halting at the door.

"It's your room," she said sullenly.

"It's our room. Haley, don't cry," he said gently, going to sit beside her.

"I can't help thinking…" Haley's speech was broken up by a loud sob. "That's she's going to ruin everything again."

Haley glanced up and noticed the pain in his eyes.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't. She just needs a place to crash. And I think she feels guilty," he said.

"She flirted with you, didn't she?" asked Haley.

"Yeah. I wasn't interested," he said.

Haley smiled and snuggled in closer to him.

"I'm huge," she said.

"You," he said, firmly kissing her lips, "are beautiful. Now get some rest."

* * *

In the middle of the night, Haley awoke, as she often did, with an urgent need to go to the bathroom. She slowly eased herself out of Nathan's arms and got out of the bed.

Knowing she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, Haley wandered downstairs to the kitchen.

She sighed when she arrived to find it already occupied.

"Taylor," she said curtly. Her sister looked up.

"Hey Haley. I was wondering if I'd be seeing you," she said.

"Luckily for you, I was thirsty," she said.

"Do you even want to know why I'm here?" asked Taylor desperately, as Haley moved toward the fridge.

"No, I don't. Because I already do know. You need family. Or support. What's it going to be this time, Taylor. You pregnant? Being abused? Addiction trouble? Whatever it is, I really couldn't care less. Last time you asked for my help you ended up ruining my life."

"Bullshit."

"Shut up," said Haley sulkily.

"I'm serious. That's all bullshit. Nothing forced you to help me. Nothing forced you to go to Nathan, or to sign that document, or to live like actual married people. And he loves you, Hales. And you love him. And you have the most beautiful child I've ever seen. And for God's sakes, you're freaking glowing. So don't give me this crap about how I ruined everything for you," she said.

Haley stared at her big sister, tears welling in her eyes. For the first time, she did not deny.

"Do you need money?" she asked softly. Taylor made a noise of disgust.

"Even if I did, I wouldn't take it. Not from you. You disgust me, Haley. Stop living a lie, or get out of your life. Just don't sulk," she said, abruptly grabbing her bag from the counter and walking out. Haley watched her go, hearing the door slam a few minutes later. Crumpling into a chair, she covered her face with her hands and once again began to cry.


	82. Collision

Chapter Eighty-Two: Collision

Nathan impatiently pulled the knot out of his silk tie and attempted to start again. He was never his best self before company functions.

"HALEY!" he called up the stairs, annoyed that she was spending so much time getting ready.

"Haley?" he said again, at the top of the stairs. Sighing, he ran down the rest of the hallway and into their room.

Expecting her to see her in front of her vanity mirror, he was surprised and slightly annoyed to find her curled up in bed, fast asleep.

"Haley," he said again. His sharp voice cut through her dreams and she slowly sat up.

"You're all dressed up," she said in surprise.

"Yeah, and you should be too. We're supposed to be out of here in ten minutes," he said.

"God, your formal thing. I completely forgot. I'm sorry Nate, I feel awful. I think I'm going to be sick," she said piteously.

"Haley, I have to go. I've been planning this for two months. There' a huge fundraiser and everything," he said.

"I know you do. You can go without me," she said, dropping back onto the bed.

Nathan stared at her for a moment longer, wondering whether she was really sick or if she was just being petulant.

"I can't go alone. We had to pay for every head, including yours. Everyone expects you to be there, and you haven't gone to one in weeks. Please just make an appearance, Hales," he said.

"Nathan, I'm seven months pregnant and I was awake all last night because of your child kicking. I can't handle going out in a maternity designer dress and having two hundred and fifty people second guessing the state of my marriage," she said staunchly.

"Why are you being such a brat?" he asked. Her temper flared. Not since the early days of their marriage, when she truly had been a brat, had he spoken to her in that tone.

"Why are you being such an asshole?" she fired back.

"Fine. Stay. Sleep. I'll find someone else to go with," he said, turning and leaving the room.

Haley watched him go, her heart slowly filling with dread.

* * *

After their confrontation, sleep did not come easily to Haley. After checking on her daughter she moved downstairs, content to wait until he got home. 

She was fairly certain that he would not take anyone else, and that he'd come home early to take care of her. After all, it was Nathan. For over two years he'd made her his first priority, for four years she'd been his heart's desire. He wouldn't cheat on her, or intentionally hurt her. It just wasn't Nathan.

Her faith waned as the evening progressed. The evening grew still, interrupted only by the traffic outside. Her baby grew restless. Haley grew impatient. And steadily more angry.

At one, three hours after she'd expected him, she finally heard the front door open. Walking slowly to the front hall, she saw him enter, and crossed her arms with difficulty.

"You're home. Goodnight," she said curtly, preparing to ascend the stairs.

"Haley, what's wrong?" he asked. Haley stopped several steps up and looked down on him instead of up for once.

"Did you get a date?" she asked.

"Not exactly a date. She came with me," he said uncomfortably.

"Perfect," she muttered.

"What are you, jealous? Last time I checked you couldn't care less," he said.

"I don't care, Nathan. I'll never care, I've told you often enough," she shot back.

"Could have fooled me."

"Wouldn't be too hard. I'd rather you were more subtle, Nathan. If you're going to whore around behind my back I'd rather not know about it."

"What the hell do you even care... God, I could go out and screw half of New York and you wouldn't give a shit... except for how it affects your reputation."

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?"

"Without me you wouldn't even have a reputation, Haley. You'd be living in some flat with fucking Seamus, breeding his all-American offspring, putting up with his awkward groping every evening. And thinking of me," he said.

"Please, get over yourself. I didn't talk to you for two years, I could have lasted longer," she said.

"But you never got the chance to. You came running. Why does all this bother you so much?" he asked again.

"Because you're married to me! Do you know what people are going to say when this gets to the tabloids? Even before that, even tonight, everyone in New York who matters is going around saying that you're leaving me, that it's someone else's kid, that you've been screwing around behind my back," she said.

"Don't see how that tarnishes your reputation. And I couldn't care less about my own," he said.

"Then why don't we both screw around? Might relieve some pressure," she said tauntingly.

"Just tell me the truth, Haley."

"SHUT UP, Nathan!" she yelled.

"GET OVER YOURSELF! YOU'VE BEEN TORTURING ME FOR YEARS. YOU'VE USED ME AGAIN AND AGAIN, AND I'M GETTING TIRED OF IT. SO EITHER TELL ME THE TRUTH OR LEAVE ME ALONE. WHY DO YOU CARE?" he demanded. Haley, standing above him, looked down at her husband in amazement. Nothing could have stopped the words that burst out of your mouth.

"Are you really that clueless? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, you MORON!"

Her own eyes widened in amazement. Nathan walked toward her, but she pushed him away as he reached her and ran as well as she could up the staircase.

After a moment he followed her, only to find she'd locked herself in the bathroom. He sighed in frustration and knocked for several moments before heading back downstairs and pouring himself a stiff drink.

Later, when he went back up, he expected her to still be in the bathroom. But she was lying in their bed, already asleep. And she didn't awaken even as he got in beside her and pulled her into his arms.

* * *

When he awoke the next morning, Nathan knew instantly that Haley was already awake. He didn't know how he knew. It could have been her breathing, or how tense she felt in his arms, or the feeling he felt when he was around her, the feeling that they were a single unit, feeling every emotion in sync. 

"You awake?" she asked.

"Why did you act like that?" he asked.

"Like how?"

"Like a child. Like you were telling me something I didn't want to hear," he said.

"I knew you wanted to hear it. The much more horrifying aspect was having to hear it myself. Nathan, maybe I do love you. But I still don't like you very much," she said. To her relief, Nathan chuckled.

"Well, I didn't like you last night either. But I do love you," he said. Haley was silent, prolonging the moment he'd been waiting for for four years.

When Haley remained silent, he sat up in the bed, pulling her with him. Without his prompting she turned to face him. Nathan regarded her, her swollen breasts and stomach, her long blonde hair flowing around her shoulders, her eyes shiny as if she'd been crying. Never had she looked more beautiful to him.

"Let's try that again. Haley Elise Scott, I love you. I always have, I always will," he said. Haley looked at him entreatingly.

"Say it," he ordered gently. "It's like pulling off a band-aid, it will hurt less if you do it quickly.

"I love you," she said at last, looking surprised once again at hearing the words escape from her mouth.

Nathan leaned forward and pressed a kiss onto her lips.

"Didn't I tell you?" he asked.

"What, that it was band-aid like?" she asked.

"No, that you loved me. I totally called it," he said. She shushed him and kissed him again.

"Yes, you're a genius. And pull another stunt like last night and I'll definitely kill you," she said, standing up to attend to the now crying Eve.

"Love you too," he called after her, grinning to himself. Finally satisfied that his life was coming together in the way he'd always wanted it too


	83. The Best Part

Chapter Eighty-Three: The Best Part

* * *

Author's note: This song is called "A Winding Road". Thought it was about time I included it to tie the story to the title.

* * *

Haley looked up from her vanity and smiled as Nathan walked in. Since their bizarre confrontation two days previously, they'd barely talked. They'd shared a bed as they always had, but had not been intimate in any way. She was begging for anything to break the ice. 

"You look good," she said, her eyes traveling down his body, relishing the novelty of not having to hide her desires.

Nathan was wearing a Versace tux and a black silk tie, with Italian leather shoes. Somehow in his dress clothes he managed to look sexy and not stuffy.

Slowly she stood, conscious of her rounded figure.

"You look amazing," he said honestly. Haley was wearing a black silk halter tied evening gown, which showed her excessive cleavage and minimized her round stomach. Her hair was falling down her back, looking shiny and groomed. From her ears hung the diamonds he'd once given her.

"Are Ryan and Jake here for Eve?" she asked worriedly.

"No, Ryan's coming with us. Leigh's going to take care of her," said Nathan, taking Haley's hand and walking downstairs with her. Leigh had arrived home for a long weekend the day before.

"Wow. You two look hot," said Ryan, sounding impressed. Haley and Nathan descended the stairs to find Ryan standing with Jake. Ryan was wearing a formal white gown, and Jake was wearing a tux. Haley raised her eyebrows.

"Guess you found a date," she commented, looking between the two.

"We couldn't have the tabloids speculating," said Jake, smirking. Ever since the news of Nathan's date to the formal had leaked, they had been going wild over the Scotts.

"Never."

The four of them laughed before Haley slipped her arm through Nathan's and led all of them out to the waiting limo.

* * *

Outside the building, several photographs of the Scotts were taken by loitering photographers. 

Haley smiled as she glanced around the vast room inside. It had been a while since she'd accompanied her husband to such an event, and was surprised at how she'd missed it. She smiled gracefully at the couples they passed as Nathan led her to the head table with Ryan and Jake in their wake.

"I used to always need to drink to get through these things. God knows what I'll do now," said Haley, smiling sarcastically as she spoke.

"I'm sure we'll think of something. How are you feeling?" asked Ryan from across the table.

"Huge. And I've still got another two months," said Haley. Through her complaining words, they saw the truth: being pregnant made her happier than she'd ever been.

"You look great," said Jake. Haley watched Jake and Ryan's hands on the table, loosely linked. They had all the characteristics of a couple, but Jake didn't even seem to notice. She firmly believed that he was the perfect man for her sister, why couldn't he?

"I couldn't agree more," said Nathan.

Haley leaned over and kissed him as his lips turned to hers automatically. Ryan and Jake exchanged glances of surprise-Haley and Nathan went through stages. Apparently, they were back into one of their more tender ones.

"Want to dance?" he asked. She nodded and stood, using the hand he offered her for balance.

There were a few couples already dancing on the polished wooden floor, and more flocked toward it as their boss and his wife entered it.

A new song started as they stepped onto the floor:

_The rain keeps on coming down  
feels like a flood in my head  
And that road keeps on calling me  
Screaming to everything lying ahead_

Nathan placed a hand on Haley's back, pulling her in to him. Haley smiled and put her own on his shoulder.

_And it's a winding road  
I've been walking for a long time  
I still don't know  
Where it goes  
And it's a long way home  
I've been searching for a long time  
I still have hope  
I'm gonna find my way home_

"Seems oddly appropriate," said Nathan, as they linked hands. Haley didn't respond, she merely gazed upwards into his blue eyes in wonder. She loved him. Finally, she was sure. Even before he'd been the father of her beautiful daughter, even as he'd broken her heart, she was fairly certain she'd always loved him.

_And I can see a little house  
On top of the hill  
And I can smell the ocean  
The salt in the air  
And I can see you  
You're standing there  
And you're washing your car  
And I can see California sun in your hair_

Haley curved her head into his neck and he rested his cheek in her hair, as close to her as he could get, wishing they could be closer.

_And its a winding road  
I've been walking for a long time  
Still don't know  
Where it goes  
And it's a long way home  
I've been searching for a long time  
Still have hope  
I'm gonna find my way home_

Over Nathan's shoulder, Haley caught sight of Ryan, leading Jake to the dance floor. Her little sister really was beautiful, she realized in surprise. Ryan was breathtaking, and completely different than the girl she'd been. Her white dress accented her golden brown skin, her shining blonde hair fell almost to her waist. She walked with her chin high, confidence surrounding her. Jakemight never realize the Goddess in her.

_All these dreams took me so far  
And I felt I just couldn't go on  
And I want to hang  
Out the window of your car  
And see just how good this baby can run_

"I love you," said Haley impulsively. It was only the second time she'd said it. Silently, Nathan promised to treasure her forever.

_'Cause it's a winding road  
I've been walking for a long time  
And I still don't know  
Where it goes  
And it's a long way home  
I've been searching for a long time  
Still have hope  
We're gonna find our way home_

"It's always been you, Hales," he said simply. She sighed in contentment. For two years she had felt trapped. Finally she was free.

"Do you realize how boring my life was before some jerk from the city showed up?" she asked. He subtly inhaled the vanilla scent of her hair.

_It's a winding road  
Still have hope  
One day we'll find our way home  
It's a long way home  
I've been searching for a long time  
Still have hope  
We're gonna find our way home_

"I've been awful. I'm sorry. I lied to you, to hurt you. I never loved Seamus. I never loved Chris. I've always been yours," she said.

"I know. I know what you're thinking every time I look into your eyes. You can't lie to me," he said.

"I'll never again have the need," she promised. Between them, the baby kicked lustily. _  
_

Their interlocked hands tightened. Haley watched Jake play with the ends of Ryan's hair with the hand he had placed on her back.

Disregarding everyone around them, everyone in the city who could make rumours spread in instants, Nathan leaned down and kissed her. Kissed her with the loving, tender ease he'd perfected in the many long years of loving her.

_It's a long way home.  
It's a long way home._


	84. Grown Ups

Chapter Eighty-Four: Grown Ups

* * *

Author's note: Guess what? It's my BIRTHDAY today. Yay.

* * *

After checking that both her sons were asleep, Brooke Scott went back to her bedroom and locked the door behind her. 

"Chris? I'm back," she said.

"How are they?" asked Chris off handedly. Despite his casual words, Brooke couldn't help but suspect that he had a secret fascination with her boys.

"Sleeping, finally. We were insane, having them so close together," she said.

"So it was planned?"

"Yeah. Well, Devon wasn't but Hayden was," explained Brooke, dropping back onto the bed.

"In that two years, when Haley was with that loser at Brown and Jake and Peyton were splitting up, what were you guys doing?" he asked.

"Changing diapers. Having sex. Avoiding our problems? Nothing fascinating. And avoiding New York," she said.

"Why?"

Brooke groaned in annoyance as the phone beeped into her ear, signaling an incoming call.

"Hold on a sec."

Brooke clicked the button and held the phone back to her ear.

"Yes?" she asked impatiently.

"Hey Brooke, it's Nathan," came Nathan's genial phone voice. Brooke blushed immediately, picturing how badly her brother-in-law would kick Chris' skinny ass if he had the chance.

"I've got another call, I'll be right back," she said, hurriedly hanging up on Chris. "Okay, what's up?"

"So I guess you know Haley's due in a month and a half," he began. Brooke grinned.

"Of course. I'm excited, we've got our tickets all booked," she said.

"Uh, great. That's fantastic, I can't wait until you guys see Eve again. She's growing like a weed. But I have something to run by you," he said slowly.

"Me? Not Luke?" Brooke was surprised. Though Nathan had never been unfriendly to her, they'd never clicked in any way. Mostly because he'd repeatedly broken her best friend's heart. Now Brooke was inclined to believe he'd made up for it.

"Yeah. It's actually about Luke. I'm planning on taking some time off when the baby's born. And I've been running it for four years now. The only person I know who was trained like I was is Lucas," he said. Brooke raised her eyebrows.

"You need him to fill in?" he asked.

"Not quite. You guys are down here at least six times a year. Nothing's keeping you there, you and Haley talk on the phone at least three times a week, I know Eve would love to know her cousins. I could get Lucas a permanent position. What do you think?" he asked hesitantly.

Brooke's instant reaction was thoroughly negative. She loved LA. She just didn't love what it seemed to be doing to her family.

"And our parents own another place in the city. We've been renting it out for years, but it's just a few blocks away from here. And I'm sure his pay could be negotiated," said Nathan entreatingly. Brooke paused for a moment. Though it had been gloomy when Nathan and Leigh and Ryan had lived there, Haley had made their townhouse beautiful since she'd moved in. And though Lucas' allowance was sufficient, neither of them had ever really liked his lack of a job.

Plus, Brooke missed her friends and always had.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked eventually.

* * *

"Now I'd think you were pregnant, but that would make the red wine a bad idea," said Lucas suspiciously as he walked inside later that night. 

"Please, that's definitely Haley's job. Here," said Brooke, handing him a glass. She held hers up and they clinked them together. "To us."

"It's not our anniversary until next week," he said, slightly suspiciously.

"I know. But we have to celebrate now, because we're going to be moving then," she said brightly. Lucas' eyebrows raised almost to his short blonde hair.

"What? Did you get a job offer?" he asked, trying to keep the amazement out of his voice. He tried not to think of how far Brooke could have gone if she'd not gotten pregnant and married him before she'd had the chance to.

"No. You did," she said.

"From who?"

"Nathan." Seeing Lucas' expression, Brooke hurried on. "You'd be the head guy until Nathan goes off maternity leave. And then he'd get you a really, really good job. Like an editor, or a manager or whatever. And a nice house, and we could hang with Haley and Nathan and Ryan and Jake. Even Peyton. And Devon and Hayden could play with Eve if we wanted to visit, so we wouldn't need a babysitter. And I could help Haley with the baby when you guys go off to your jobs," she said.

"Brooke, it's paternity leave. Nathan isn't pregnant," he said. Brooke scowled at him.

"Come on. You need a job. We need to grow up," she said.

"We are grown ups. We're married. We have kids. This place is child proof, for God's sake," he said, his voice growing slightly louder as he spoke.

"Luke, we consummated our marriage in an elevator," she reminded him.

Lucas kept his angry face for a split second before bursting into laughter.

"This is a huge step. We were right here when you told me you were pregnant with Hayden. Devon took his first steps right over there. I asked you to marry me in the front hall. Once during a sample sale you covered every piece of furniture in this room with bags of clothing."

Brooke smiled.

"Babe, grow with me. I can't do it alone. I can't leave you behind," she said.

"Don't even think of it," he said, leaning down to kiss her. Brooke lost herself in his kiss for a moment.

"Right over there, we got the phone-call about your parents. When Devon banged his head and needed stitches, it was on this coffee table. When I went into premature labour with Hayden, I was lying on this couch. It's not all good stuff. We can't start again. New memories, in a really nice house. And I can take the cold. Our boys will love having so much space," she said.

"I don't want to miss seeing them grow up."

"You won't. I promise."

Lucas sighed. He took both of her hands.

"Okay. We'll do it. I'll call the airline to change our flight, and I'll get Nathan to notify the tenants," he said. Brooke giddily leapt into his arms and he caught her around the waist.

"I love you. Oh, this is going to be fabulous. LA's so over. I'm going to call Haley right this second," she said excitedly, bouncing off to the master bedroom. Lucas watched her go and rolled his eyes.

But he couldn't regret it. If he had been the type, he never would have fallen madly in love with Brooke Davis.


	85. Someone Who Wants To Be With You Too

Chapter Eighty-Five: Someone Who Wants to Be With You Too

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Princess?"

Nathan, who had been intently staring at his laptop screen, abruptly dropped his gaze to his daughter. She was looking pleadingly at him, and though she was too young to communicate he guessed that she was being overlooked. Her Aunts were excitedly spending all their free time with Haley in preparation for the imminent baby.

He reached down and lifted her onto his lap. She sighed happily and fell against his chest. Eve was petite for her age, which she got from Haley. Everything else in her was Nathan's, from her long curly dark hair to her bright blue eyes. He wound a curl around his finger. Even after a year and a half, he was sometimes amazed that they could have made such a startlingly beautiful creature.

"I love you, Princess," he said. Eve stuck a thumb in her mouth and leaned around to look at her father.

He smiled as Devon and Hayden ran past. Used to their beachfront condo, they seemed amazed at the sheer vastness at both Scott houses.

"Come on, let's go find Auntie Leigh," he said, suspecting that his youngest sister would be less occupied.

Eve hopped off her father's knee and took the hand he offered before the two of them set off down the hall.

"Oh, Ryan. You and Jake are here? What's up?" he asked, temporarily dropping Eve's hand to embrace his little sister.

"Yeah. We just arrived. It's a full house," she said.

"I kind of like it. What's up?"

"Haley's convinced she's in labour. We need you to convince her she's not. Come on," she said, taking Eve's hand. Ryan was still Eve's favourite person.

* * *

Two days later, Haley had gone into labour at home and was waiting at the hospital for her water to break. 

"Where's Eve?" she asked anxiously.

"Calm down. She's at the house with my secretary, Deb. And Dev and Hayden. Leigh, Ryan, and Brooke and Lucas are all around. You're not alone," he said comfortingly.

"I know. I'm scared," she admitted, placing a tentative hand on her huge belly.

"Don't be. I'm here for you. The best doctors in the country are here for you."

"Oh, there goes my water. Let's get started," she said, grinding her teeth together in pain as another contraction shook her.

* * *

"For God's sakes, isn't the second supposed to be easier?" asked Ryan Scott anxiously, pacing the length of the empty hospital room they'd occupied. 

"She's going to be fine," said Jake comfortingly.

Ryan glared at him over her shoulder.

"Easy for you to say. Men," she said disparagingly. He fought to keep a straight face.

"Come here," he said, opening his arms.

She tucked herself into his embrace, and he kissed her forehead. She was too tall to be tucked under his chin.

"They're finally happy," she said softly, her voice muffled by the sweater he was wearing.

"Which means they will be for a lot longer. You're so tense," he said. She sighed. Ryan wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her head on his shoulder.

"I don't know how Brooke and Lucas are so calm," she said.

"They've both lived through two of these. And will probably live through at least one more. You will too. It'll stop being scary, I promise," he said.

"I hope so." Ryan leaned back, his arms anchoring her in place. Her long blonde hair fell around her shoulder, and for an instant he caught a whiff of lemon.

Slowly removing one hand from her waist, he cupped her cheek, running a finger down the side of her face. Her nerves tingled in response, as much as she tried to hide it.

"Jake?" she asked, her voice almost nonexistent.

"Ryan," he said in amazement. He scrutinized her for another moment. The light freckles sprinkled across her nose, her dark blue Scott eyes. The perfect symmetry of her features. Her beauty, radiating from within.

Slowly, he tiled her lips toward his and leaned down to brush a kiss on them. His tingled slightly, and he opened his mouth, tasting hers. She slid open her own lips and their tongues met. One hand reach up and tangled in his hair, while his slid down to her hips, feeling the curves of her body as they went. Throwing away her doubt, her insecurities, Ryan shut her eyes tightly and lost herself in the compelling, overwhelming sensation of his lips on hers.

Peyton Sawyer watched them in amazement. Not expecting her to show up, Brooke Davis had called her on the way to the hospital.

Peyton was fairly sure that eventually, someday, Jake would drop Ryan for her. But she'd never seem them kiss. Not like that. With their bodies glued together, their lips on fire. She dropped her shaking hand from the doorknob and forced herself to run from the room.

* * *

Nathan groaned and forced himself to remain composed as Haley's scream rang through his ears. It killed him, to have her in this much pain. He felt that it was the only thing he couldn't protect her from. 

"Breath, darling. You're doing great," he said, smoothing sweaty hair away from her face.

Haley whimpered slightly as the doctor examined her progress.

"Push, Mrs. Scott. You're almost there, I can almost see the head."

"You can't _almost_ see something. You either see it, or you can't," she said.

"I can. It's coming. PUSH," yelled the doctor. Haley groaned.

"It's coming, it's coming. Okay, here's a head," said the doctor. "A torso. Legs. And… she's out."

Haley fell back against her pillows, breathing heavily.

"She?" asked Nathan.

"A girl," said the doctor.

"Guess you're not a real man," teased Haley.

"Guess not," said Nathan, staring as the cleaned, blanket wrapped infant was placed in his wife's arms.

"She looks nothing like Eve," said Haley, yawning. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. This was not an obligation child, nor was it a child made of their love.

"Well, we already have an Eve. So this works. She's beautiful," he said.

"I think she'll be tall."

"Well that's Scottlike," he said.

"What, did you think she wasn't yours?" asked Haley, speaking through her tears. Nathan reached down and took his daughter into his own arms.

Though he'd spent countless hours holding his eldest, rocking her to sleep, talking to her, carrying her around, he still felt he was going to break the new one in half. She was fragile, yet so solid in his arms after being only a dream for the last seven months.

Glancing down, he saw that Haley's eyelids were fluttering closed. Handing their daughter back to the nurse, he kissed her forehead and went off to find his family.

* * *

"Finally. What is it?" asked Ryan, curled up in Jake's arms. 

"A girl. Blondish. Come on," said Nathan enthusiastically.

The Scotts (plus the one Jagielski) walked to the large window of the nursery.

"Uh, two down, one over," he said, pointing.

"She's beautiful," said Ryan.

"I think she'll look like you, Ry," said Jake. She smiled up at him before looking down at her toes in embarrassment.

"She's beautiful. Let's have a girl next time, Broody," said Brooke, leaning on her husband.

"What's her name?" asked Jake, gazing at his latest quasi niece.

"Ooh, I know. Can I say?" asked Brooke.

"Would she stop if I asked?" asked Nathan, directing his question toward his younger brother. Lucas shook his head.

"Her name is Nina Larisa Scott," said Nathan, speaking ahead of his sister-in-law.

They were silent for a time, digesting this.

"It's pretty. She's pretty. You guys are good at this," said Ryan.

"Thanks. I think. I should get back to Haley," said Nathan.

"Yeah. We'll go take care of Eve and the boys. And inform Leigh. See you later, big brother," said Brooke, kissing his cheek before walking off with the rest of them.

Nathan pressed a hand to the glass after they were gone, and gazed at his new daughter. Deep down, he'd been wishing for a son. He knew it didn't matter.

Ryan was right. They were good at his.


	86. A Little Farther Away From Me

Chapter Eighty-Six: A Little Farther Away From Me

* * *

Author's note: So last night I didn't check what I was posting, and I ended up posting a chapter ahead of where we are, so that's why it made absolutely no sense. SO sorry about that, hopefully this'll clear things up.

* * *

"Will you be around tomorrow?" asked Haley, when Brooke prepared to round up her sons to leave.

"No. They're not finishing the remodeling until next week, but we're going down to the Vineyard for a long weekend," said Brooke.

"We haven't gone on vacation since the Hamptons last summer. That's nice. Next week? Finally," said Haley.

"Yeah. It's been forever, I can't wait to unpack. I hate being homeless," said Brooke, jokingly pouting.

"I know. It'll be better soon. Bye," said Haley. She and Brooke exchanged pecks before she walked off with Devon and Hayden.

Haley sighed as Nina began to howl. She was a much less compliant baby than Eve, who was slowly beginning to throw tantrums more often to draw attention to herself.

"I got her!" she heard Nathan call. Haley suspected that he'd have to bring her downstairs anyway, as Nathan didn't have what it took to feed her. But she relished the silence while it was hers.

"Mommy?" came a cautious voice from the door. Eve ran in and snuggled with her mother on the couch until Nina and Nathan came in, the former in dire need of milk. Haley sighed as Eve hopped off of her and stared with her big blue eyes. Supporting Nina with one arm while she fed her, Haley used her other to stroke Eve's curls until her father took her on his knee and began to tell her anything he could think of to distract her from her woes.

XxxxxxX

As Nina's scream once again cut through the silence, Haley resisted the urge to call Ryan to take care of her, just so she could get some rest.

Rocking her slightly, she cradled her in her arms and began to wander through the upper story of their house until they got back to her room. She paused at the bathroom door as she heard a shriek of excitement, her arms now empty.

Haley smiled when she walked in to find Nathan bathing their eldest in the huge bath tub. He'd rolled up his sleeves to avoid getting soaked, but the splashes coming from the tub were not easily deterred.

Haley made a shriek of alarm as a spray of water jetted out of the tub and hit her directly.

"Princess," he said accusingly.

"Evil."

Haley dropped down to the floor beside him and shed the shirt she was wearing, revealing a white cotton camisole.

"Hey baby," she said contentedly.

"Hey. Wait, you were talking to her?" asked Nathan teasingly. She playfully shoved him with her elbow.

Haley slowly began to wash Eve's fine dark hair. There was nothing of her in her daughter. Eve was all Nathan.

Later, she watched as Nathan dried off Eve with a towel. Haley brushed out her hair, and the two of them put her to bed before collapsing onto their own.

"I don't think I've ever been more tired," she said.

"You look great," he assured her.

"Sure. Because I'm not house sized anymore but my boobs are enormous," she said. He smirked.

"Yeah. I'd kind of noticed," he joked, laughing as she slapped his shoulder.

Haley frowned as Nathan rolled on top of her, remembering the one thing that she'd forgotten to tell him.

"Wait."

"What?" he asked, his lips inches from hers.

"Uh, I went to see Dr. Jenkins today," she said reluctantly.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. It's no big deal, I just went on the Pill," she said.

Nathan propped himself up on top of her and stared down in surprise. They'd had shoddy birth control measures over the last two years. He hadn't really minded. He figured they'd continue in this manner until they reached the desired number of kids. Which was apparently two.

"Why'd you decide to now?" he asked slowly.

"Babe, you know I love Nina. And Eve. I wouldn't give them up for anything. But I think two is plenty. More than plenty. We were run off our feet today," she said defensively.

"What, you didn't think it was necessary to consult me?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't it was necessary for you to tell me what to do with my body," she said, her voice tightening.

"This isn't just about you, Haley. This is about us. And you can't deny there's an us. You admitted it. There's always going to be an us," he said angrily.

"Really? I don't remember signing away to be an us for always. In fact as I remember it, my contract is up pretty damn soon," she reminded him.

"You said…"

"I said what, Nathan? That I'm yours? That my body belongs to you, and always will? That was you, if I remember correctly," she said.

Nathan could handle Haley loving him. He could handle her hating him. But this was a gray area. So he used his all purpose solution.

Haley wasn't exactly surprised when their passionate argument turned into something else much more passionate. Something else entirely.

She tried to keep it bottled up, still afraid to show him what he could do to her, but eventually it became too much. He smiled in satisfaction as she called out his name, moaning in satisfaction as he thrust inside of her again and again.

As soon as he was finished, as both of their orgasms ceased, he got off the bed and left her abruptly. She scowled at his retreating form.

Never could she reconcile with herself that the man she loved, passionately and painfully, could cause her so much hurt.


	87. When Ever I Think About You

Chapter Eighty-Seven: Whenever I Think About You

* * *

Author's note: Make sure you've read the chapte before this, because otherwise you'll be confused. Sorry, I posted them in the wrong order.

* * *

Haley slowly brushed out her long hair in front of the vanity mirror before subtly opening the drawer and consuming a small pill from a foil package. She hadn't taken one with him around yet. He still seemed to be reconsiling himself with the idea of it. 

"You don't have to pretend it doesn't exist," said a voice behind her. She stood up abruptly.

"I didn't know you were there," she said.

"Obviously," he said, his jaw tightening.

"Nathan, do you want to talk? I don't understand why this bothers you so much. At one point, I planned on having no kids with you. Now we have two. Can't you just be happy with that?" she asked.

"No, Haley. Not because of what I want. That doesn't even matter anymore. It's because I know what you want. And I know that you're only halfway there. And I know that you're not going to stay with me forever. So I can only conclude that you're going to get what you want elsewhere," he said. A tear slipped out of Haley's eye and down her cheek. Why did he have to make it so hard? Why couldn't he just be happy, like she'd finally been able to be?

Nathan stopped in each of his daughter's rooms before walking out of his house.

* * *

"Nathan?" asked a voice in surprise. Nathan smiled at his little sister. Ryan Scott, now twenty-one, was wearing her pajamas with her hair in a braid reaching her waist. 

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"God, you had a fight with Haley, didn't you? I thought you guys were over that," she said, sounding slightly harrassed.

"I did, too. Apparently not so much," he said, dropping down onto the couch in the main room.

"Idiot. What happened this time?" she asked.

"She's going on the pill. I freaked. Some days, Nina and Eve are the only things keeping us together," he said simply.

"Well, that's kind of her choice. As long as you don't pull a Carlos Solis. Or a Shannon Davis," she said thoughtfully.

"It's our choice," he said stubbornly.

"Dude, you seriously need a reality check. Haley's never going to let herself be pushed around by you. You're never going to be perfect. She's never going to want to give birth to your children, one after the other. It's just not her," said Ryan.

"I know. I know her better than she thinks I do," said Nathan.

"Love is hell," muttered Ryan.

"Tell me about it. Actually, do tell me. What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm in love with Jake," said Ryan, sounding resigned and surprised that he didn't know.

"I know. Anything else?" he asked.

"He kissed me. The night that Nina was born. We were all emotional and freaked and it just happened," she said. Nathan crossed to her side of the room and put his arms around her. Sitting down again, he pulled her on to his lap.

"Baby. Poor thing. You know, I think this is the first time I've seen you as a woman," he said.

"Yet you're still treating me like a complaning toddler," she accused.

"You have to go for it. Everyone knows, except Jake. We're all rooting for you. Even Haley wants you happy, even after all her years with Peyton. Go for it. I've heard rumours that you're a beautiful and confident girl. Show him," he said.

"If he wanted it, he would have kissed me again. It's been months, and we're pretty much back to where we were," she said.

"Which is exactly where you don't want to be," said Nathan.

"It's better than the other option," she said.

"Ry, the other option it Jake and Peyton eventually getting back together. He's mad at her, but he's not given up on her. Jake thinks anyone can be redeemed. Even her. Even after all she's done," said Nathan bitterly.

Jake chose that moment to walk out of the bedroom and come to sit on the couch beside them.

"You've got your hands all over my girl, Scott," he said playfully, lifting Ryan onto his own lap. Ryan sent her brother a look, silently pleading with him not to betray her.

For a moment, Nathan almost did anyways. Not to betray her. Just to make it over.

* * *

"So who are we "shipping" now? Jeyton, or uh, Jyan?" asked Brooke, as they fed their sons together. 

"Huh?" asked Lucas.

"God, can you read? Who do we want togther? Jake and Ryan or Jake and Peyton?" asked Brooke.

"I didn't know we were presenting a united front, but Jake and Ryan. Ryan is my sister," he reminded her.

"Peyton was my best friend. Like a zillion years ago. But so was Jake. Damn, he's such a moron," said Brooke.

"I've got to agree with you. She's not exactly subtle," admitted Lucas.

"Yet she's too subtle for him. Men," she said disparingly, leaving the room as her cell phone rang. Lucas watched her go sadly. Why did they still bother to pretend?

* * *

Nathan ignored his secretary's cheey greeting as he entered the building the next morning, dressed in khakis and a button up shirt. He stormed up to his office, and seemed surprised to find Lucas in it. 

"Where the fuck were you last night? Haley called Brooke at midnight, sobbing in to the phone," said Lucas angrily.

"Stay out of it," he said sulkily.

"She's your wife! You can't just leave during an arguement and leave her with your kids! How's she supposed to know if you're even going to come back?" demanded Lucas. Nathan pulled back his arm and threw a punch at Lucas. Lucas reeled back in shock.

Lucas walked out, and Nathan walked to his desk. Pressing a button on his desk, he paged Deb.

"Mr. Scott," she said in surprise, coming in to see him.

"Yeah. I'm coming back to work," he said.

"You're scheduled to be on leave for another month," she said.

"I know. Just relocate Lucas, and push my meetings forward," he said simply.

"But Haley..."

"Deb, stay out of it," he said warningly. Deb Lee backed out in surprise.

This was a Nathan she rememebred from only one other time. What was referred to as the dark period-the two years between Nathan leaving Haley and their marriage.


	88. You Can't Take The Sky From Me

Chapter Eighty-Eight: You Can't Take The Sky From Me

"Wow. Eve and Nina are actually napping at the same time," said Haley in disbelief, descending the main stairs.

"Ryan and Leigh are taking care of Devon and Hayden." Brooke glanced at Haley and raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, this is just weird," said Haley finally, after the four of them had sat together in silence for a time.

"I know. No kids, no pregnancies, no angst. Just... us," said Brooke finally.

"What did we do before the summer of 2006?" asked Haley in wonder. Nathan looped an arm around her shoulders.

"Come on. I have a plan."

* * *

"This is your plan?" asked Haley, glancing around in mild disgust. They were in the indoor basketball court of the gym they all belonged to. 

"Come on, live a little. Yo, Luke!" said Nathan, holding out his hands. Lucas passed him the basketball.

"I haven't been at a game since senior year," said Haley to Brooke.

"Hey, pass," she said to her husband, who obediently tossed her the ball. She swung it down between her legs and then back up again, missing the net by several feet.

"Don't show me that. If that's your best shot, I might have to divorce you. Come here," said Lucas. He bent down and she sat on his shoulders. He stood, and Brooke smirked down at Haley from her added height.

"Not fair. Nate..."

Nathan passed the ball to Haley once she'd climbed onto his shoulders, and she made a slam dunk.

"Ha, in your face," she said, smirking at her best friend.

Lucas made a noise of alarm as Brooke leaned forward and grabbed the ball. She handed it down to him and cheered as he made a perfect three pointer.

"And that's how it's done," she said dramatically.

"Yes, dazzle them with your athleticism," said Haley. Nathan glanced at Lucas.

"I guess it's better than them comparing our kids," he said, shrugging.

"Please, like it's a contest," said Brooke, from her position on Lucas' shoulders.

"Ha ha. You're freaking hilarious," said Haley dryly.

"She knows," said Lucas confidently.

"But I have to admit, Evie's going to be gorgeous when she grows up. Like her daddy," said Brooke.

"And not remotely like her mommy. That's where Nina comes in," said Haley philosphically.

"Probably. Hey, I think we've excercised enough. Want to go for a steam, Hales?" asked Brooke, sliding down from Lucas' shoulders. Haley joined her.

"Definitely. You boys go drink beer and watch football. Or whatever it is that boys do in their spare time," said Brooke, following Haley to the locker room.

* * *

"So, how are things going with you two?" asked Haley, once they were inside the steam room. 

"Honestly? Depends on the hour. Sometimes we're totally good, and then other times it's like we speak a completely different language," said Brooke.

"I know what you mean. Like when I got pregnant with Nina, our relationship was nothing more than angry sex and taking care of Eve. But since she was born we've gotten all tender," said Haley.

"And since you told him you loved him," said Brooke. Haley glanced at her in surprise. "Lucas told me."

"I was going to tell you. I was just so surprised to hear myself saying it," she said.

"My God you're delusional. You thought you were in love with Chris for years, and Seamus after that but you never realized you were in love with _Nathan Scott? _The man you haven't been able to stop thinking about since high school?" asked Brooke in amazement.

"I still haven't admitted to being in love with him since then, so shut up. And weren't you the one who cheated on the only boyfriend you ever cared about?" asked Haley.

"God, don't even talk to it. It still affects us, you know? You can spend your life running for it. You can build the life you've always wanted. But you can never really escape," said Brooke, looking down to her hands to hide the embarrassment in her eyes from baring her soul.

* * *

"So is it wrong that I'm totally picturing Haley and Brooke steaming together?" asked Lucas. 

"Dude, Haley's my wife," said Nathan.

"Possessive much? I thought you guys were all better," he said.

"We are. Better than you two, by the sound of it. I thought you two would have had another kid by now," said Nathan.

"I guess we haven't gotten around to it," he said, lying badly.

"That's BS," he said simply.

"Yeah, it is. She's not telling me something," he said slowly.

"I don't see how it matters, seeing as you obviously know what it is," said Nathan.

"Yeah. Chris Keller," he said bitterly. Nathan frowned.

"Want me to kick his ass? I have some experience at it," he said.

"No, I don't want you dragged in to this. If you ever want to get some, ever again, you've got to stop punching out the other men in Haley's life," he said.

"You don't get it," he said.

"Don't I? Do you know badly I would have killed that kid, if I'd ever the chance? He's just lucky he was five feet tall, and dying," said Lucas.

"We've kind of grown up. Guess we can't anymore," said Nathan.

"Have you really always loved her?" asked Lucas suddenly.

"When? When I took her to LA to show her off to the world, even when she wasn't mine? When I made out with Davis the day I asked her out for the first time? The day I shot her down when she finally barred her soul to me? Of course," he said.

"You had a pretty bad way of showing it," said Lucas.

"I'd never wanted anyone like I wanted her. I didn't know how to show her," said Nathan. He looked away from his brother. "I still don't."

"You're just lucky you found a woman as clueless as you. Haley has no idea of the depth of what she feels for you," said Lucas.

Nathan frowned. The moment had become too personal.

"The "depth of her feelings for me"? Damn, living with a chick for too long has gotten to you. Pansy."

Lucas shoved Nathan's shoulder. They pulled apart as their wives approached.

After all, they were grown ups now.

On the surface, at least.


	89. I Wish Your Love Away

Chapter Eighty-Nine: I Wish Your Love Away

Haley shifted Nina's weight awkwardly as she opened the over door to check on the cake. Eve ran in as she did so, demanding attention for herself. Ryan followed at a run, desperately trying to keep her out of her mother's way.

"Evie, let's go see if Auntie Brooke is here yet," she said eagerly. Eve reluctantly followed her other Aunt, abandoning her little sister and her mother.

Haley carefully placed Nina in her high chair. She put her elbows on the marble island and rested her face on her hands, breathing deeply, trying to keep back tears. Inevitably, everything that had gotten so good with Nathan had gone down the drain. God, she was tired of it.

"Haley?" came a voice. Almost immediately, Brooke ran in to the kitchen. Haley stared at her for a second. She suddenly realized how much more mature Brooke was than she had been. Her hair was cut shorter, to just above her shoulders, and was now hastily tied back. She was wearing jeans and a zip up sweater over a simple black shirt.

"Tigger," she said wearily. She collapsed into her best friend's arms.

"Shit, what's wrong?" asked Brooke in surprise.

"He's pushing me away," she said.

"He loves you. Like nothing I've ever seen," said Brooke softly.

"He just can't show me."

"He's just a boy," said Brooke, tenderly kissing Haley's blonde hair.

* * *

From the opposite end of the table, Haley glanced up at Nathan, chatting to Devon as if nothing was wrong. Between them, Jake and Ryan noticed her glare and looked nervously at each other. 

"I can't believe he's already four," said Ryan. Brooke looked up in surprise.

"It happens," she said, smiling falsely.

"He's tall. Maybe he'll be a ball player?" suggested Jake jokingly, glancing at Lucas.

Lucas stared down at his food, seemingly not hearing him.

"God, cant't you just pretend to care about your son's birthday?" asked Brooke in annoyance. Lucas registered this, and looked at her in surprise.

"I do care. But there is something to be said for showing true emotion," said Lucas.

"Are we on this again?" snapped Brooke. Haley looked up at Nathan in panic.

"If you didn't keep taking us here..."

"Bullshit. You're the one that's brooding all the time. Did I ever really think that was attractive?" she said in disbelief.

Ryan silently slipped Nina out of her high chair and motioned Eve to follow her. Jake took the boys, and together they walked out of the room.

"Are we really just going to throw cheap shots around? The bottom line is that I'm jealous, and you can't take it," he said.

"That's the bottom line?" she asked.

"No, that's a lie. The real bottom line is there's a part of you that wishes Devon wasn't mine," he said.

Brooke's green eyes widened, but she didn't make a denial. For a moment, for what seemed like the first time in years, complete silence descended over the four of them.

"He was my first love. Not..."

Brooke Scott, who had begun to look so much older, suddenly looked like nothing more than a child. Lucas glanced up and saw the pain he'd caused her. Suddenly his eyes softened.

"But the only reason this matters is because I love you so damn much. Always have. That's why it hurts so much," he said softly.

Brooke's lips quivered for a moment. No one knew if she was about to cry or about to smile.

"My girl," he said sadly, curving a hand around her cheek.

"I know. Always. I need us to be a family again," she said, leaning toward him.

Nathan glanced up at Haley, watching the scene with his rapture. Brooke's steadfast promise echoed in his ears. Would he ever have that? Would they? Would their family ever be more than by accident? Could he ever make her cry with joy?

Haley smiled sadly at him, reading his thoughts. They'd spent so much time hurting each other, it seemed impossible to believe they could ever be so happy.

* * *

"Do you think they're done?" asked Ryan. Jake glanced to the four kids lined up in front of the television. 

"I don't hear anything breaking. We're probably safe," he said.

"I need them to be okay, Jakey. All of them. They're my safety net. They're my family," she said.

"_You're_ my family," he said.

"You're my everything," she whispered.

Slipping a hand around her waist, he pulled her in to him, staring into her deep blue eyes, willing conscious thought away. She slid her eyes closed as he lowered her lips to hers.

"Mommy!" came a joyful call. They sprang apart as Haley entered.

"Haley," said Jake weakly.

"No more war zone, and it's time for cake," she said. She smirked to herself as she walked back, followed by her entourage of miniature Scotts.

Five minutes later, Eve and Devon were attempting to blow out the six candles on their joint birthday cake. Brooke was sitting on Lucas' lap, and Jake and Ryan stood on opposite ends of the room.

Ryan watched as Haley nervously attempted to neaten Eve's dark curls as she gorged herself on birthday cake. She watched as Lucas ran a hand through Devon's blonde hair. She sighed to herself. Despite their troubles, despite their angst, these people were happy. They were in love. They had what she would die for.

From across the room, Jake smiled gently at her. He didn't know how to act around her anymore.

But she took this as a good sign. Finally he was seeing her as a woman.


	90. Glass Houses

Chapter Ninety: Glass Houses

Haley frowned and attempted to straighten her skirt without gaining attention from the crowd. To her left, Ryan seemed equally uncomfortable. To her right, Nathan was looking stoic and thoughtful. Her mind flashed for the thousandth time to Nina and Eve, left behind with a sitter.

Looking up to the front of the auditorium, she quickly located Peyton's blonde curls and the back of Jake's head. It was their graduation. Haley tried not to think of her own graudation, of what would have been.

Ryan glanced sideways at her, and smiled bitterly. Haley was almost completely certain they'd almost kissed a month previously, and by all accounts had actually kissed at the hospital at Nina's birth. She touched Ryan's hand comfortingly.

Nathan slung an arm around Haley, slung her toward him and planted a kiss on her head. Like he had when they had been teenagers, he was playing her hot and cold. She was tired of games.

Jake winked in Ryan's direction as he reached the stage and took his diploma. The blonde blushed.

Leigh Scott sat on Nathan's other side, looking rail thin and older than before.

Later on, they mingled in the crowd, waiting for Jake to join them. Ryan ran to him and threw herself in his arms when he did.

"Congratulations!" she said excitedly.

"Thanks. Hey Hales, hey Nate. Are Brooke and Lucas around? And Leigh?" he asked eagerly.

"Somewhere, all of them. Are you going to a party?" she asked.

"Yeah, want to come? I can keep you out of trouble," he said palishly.

"You'd better," said Nathan jokingly.

Haley looked wistful for a second.

"Don't be so old, she's a junior. Come on babe," she said, pulling him away.

Ryan glanced up at Jake.

"Maybe we could go home first? You can change?" she suggested. He nodded and began to lead them out.

Their hands gradually interlocked as they walked out, dodging various graduates in black robes. Both smiled shakily at Peyton as they passed her.

Jake instinctively lept forward and caught Ryan in his arms when she suddenly fell forward. She whirled around angrily, ready to confront the foot that had tripped her. Her eyes widened in amazement.

"Shannon?" she said in confusion.

"Davis," said Jake. Davis smiled.

"Ryan, Jake. What a gentleman," she said, nodding at Ryan held protectively in his arms. He set her back on her feet. Ryan stared in amusement at her clashing, dyed blonde locks.

"When the mood strikes me. What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Peyton needed someone to come for her," she said.

"Oh, because it's our fault that..." Jake latched onto Ryan's hand again and hurriedly tugged her away.

Ryan took a deep breath of fresh air once they'd gotten outside, and slowly smiled.

"I shouldn't let her get to me like that," she admitted, as Jake hailed a taxi.

"You're only human."

* * *

Jake waited impatiently as Ryan changed in her room. 

"Get out here," he yelled. He rolled his eyes, about to make a sarcastic remark, as she finally exited. But as he saw her, the words died on his tongue.

It didn't make sense. He'd seen her in her party clothes plenty of times. Her long blonde hair was flowing over her shoulders, her low waisted jeans sat on her hips and showed an expanse of toned flesh. Her shirt accented her small breasts, and her high heeled sandals made her long legs seem longer still. His mouth went temporarily dry.

"Jake?" she said in surprise.

"You look good," he managed.

"Thanks," she said, walking to the door to retrieve her purse. For a moment, Jake finally let desire override conscious thought.

Ryan made a short noise of surprise after he pulled her on to the couch on top of him, before his lips covered hers. She pulled away for a second, and stared down at him. She loved him. She'd always known it. Satisfaction ebbing at her, she leaned down and kissed him again. Her hair fell over both of them, surrounding them in a cloud of its intoxicating scent.

As she slipped her hand into his pants and the knowledge that they were about to have sex came to both of them, they sprang apart.

"Shit. We have to stop doing that. We're going to ruin everything," she said anxiously. Jake, lying on the couch with an erection, looked slightly less concerned.

"Yeah. Uh, about that..."

"No, not. You're in love with Peyton. I'm not about to be your replacement," she said sternly. He nodded slowly.

"I know. I'm sorry, I haven't been fair to you. Do you want to keep living here?" he asked.

"Jake, this is my home. I'm not going to leave. We just have to keep the lines clearly drawn," she said, more gently this time.

"I think I'm okay with that," he said hesitantly.

"Well, you have to be. I'm not going to move out in case we have sex and become all awkward," she said.

"Good. I don't want you too. You're the best roommate I've ever had," he said. They met eyes, and she raised her eyebrows at him. "Including her."

"I have to go to the bathroom," she said abruptly.

Ryan ran off, sat on the edge of the bathtub and silently proceeded to cry. Never had there been a men less in love with her. He had a mild desire to have sex with her, but it was one easily swayed. He didn't need to have her. He barely even wanted her. It just wasn't fair. What hadn't she done? She'd never tried to hurt anyone. All she'd ever done was be her own lovesick self, and this is where it got her. The only one alone in a sea of couples. Maybe not a sea. Maybe just Nathan and Haley and Brooke and Lucas.

Back in the living room, Jake rearranged his shirt and stared down at his hands. It kept happening. He couldn't explain it. He was beginning to want her in a feverish way he couldn't explain, and she didn't seem to understand. She was everything to him and always would be, in one way or another. And she brought up Peyton whenever she could. Almost as if she was trying to create distance.

At this thought, Jake shook his head. The idea that Ryan Scott, his beautiful roommate, one of the Manhattan Scotts, was in love with him was entirely ridiculous.


	91. Cliche

Chapter Ninety-One: Cliché

"Ryan?" called Jake, entering the house one afternoon. He dropped the mail and casually sifted through it. Bills, advertisements, a magazine.

He paused as he found the last item of male. A plain white envelope adressed in a familiar script.

_Jake,_

_I wouldn't love you as much as I do if I knew you didn't know. But maybe you don't know. I love you, Jake. I always have. I'm sorry for the heartache I've caused you. Maybe I should have just stayed out of your life? I don't think I would have been able to. I don't know how I'm going to do now._

_Right, I haven't told you yet. I'm leaving. I'm taking a gap year in Europe. By the time you read this, I'll be already gone. How dramatic is that?_

_I never would have gotten here without you. You've been with me every step of the way. Even when I didn't want you there, even when you wanted to leave, you've followed me. It's time for us to both walk alone._

_I can't believe I'm writing this. I can't believe I've finally stopped fighting. I used to imagine our wedding, Jakey. Back in the old days, I did it all the time. _

_It'll never be over. I promise you. I'll love you forever, but don't you dare love me forever. Don't you dare, Jacob Jagielski. You deserve more. You deserve to escape, like I'm trying to do. For God' sakes, let yourself be happy._

_All my love, for the last, _

_Your Peyt_

Jake stared down at the letter for a few seconds. God, had he really stopped fighting for her? He grabbed his wallet up again and ran out the door.

Hailing a taxi, he made it to the airport in record time. He ran to the international departures gate and looked around until he spotted her familiar curly head.

"PEYTON!" he yelled. She turned, smiled almost expectantly.

He put his arms around her when he reached her, and she settled herself into his comforting embrace.

"God, don't go. I love you so much. We'll work it out," he said fervently.

"We won't," she said, smiling sadly. He pressed his lips on to hers, and they kissed slowly and longingly.

"Please."

"Nothing's keeping me here. I've way outstayed my welcome. I want your life to be good again," she said. As another boarding call was made, she leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"My life's never good without you," he said. She chuckled.

"Liar."

He stared in horror as she walked toward the exit.

"Peyton!" he called out again in anguish.

Peyton slowly turned to look at him once last time.

"She loves you, you know." Peyton retreated a few steps backward and further out of his reach. "Go for it."

He stared for a few more seconds until she had disappeared.

* * *

What an idiot he'd been. They could have made things work. Why had he slept with Davis? Why had she slept with Christian? Why did they let each other hurt them? He pulled out his wallet and thumbed through the pictures he kept there. Family photos of each clan of Scotts, a picture of him and Ryan. The oldest one was a picture of him, Haley Brooke and Peyton at their graduation. How had they managed to lose sight of each other so quickly? 

He remembered how happy he'd been the night she'd promised to love him forever. The same night that they'd first made love. Tender yet passionate love making. Nothing like he'd had before or since. Nothing like he was ever likely to have again.

He thought of the other blonde, waiting for him at home. Peyton had said "She loves you." Surely she hadn't meant Ryan? Though thinking of Ryan in that light wasn't exactly unpleasing, it still didn't set right with him. Only partially because he'd seen what Nathan had done to many of Ryan's exes.

Jake didn't know where to go next. He could flee from the arms of his ex lover into the arms of his potential. It wasn't fair to either. He couldn't mope to Haley or to Brooke, who had problems of their own.

Suddenly, and with a surprising wave of longing, he thought of their earliest days. The days from grade five to grade twelve, where they'd been inseperable. Boyfriend and girlfriend had come and gone, but it had come down to their friendship over all else. Always. Now suddenly, they weren' strong enough any more. Except it wasn't sudden. It had been building for years.

His mind flashed once again to her words-"_She loves you, you know."_

It was a good method of getting his mind off of her.

What did Peyton know that he didn't?


	92. Breaking Tradition

Chapter Ninety-Two: Breaking Tradition

* * *

Author's note: This chapter takes place in September 2011. Just in case anyone is confused, Nathan is 29, Lucas is 27, Brooke, Jake and Haley are 23, Ryan is 22. Of the kids, Devon is 4, Hayden is 3, Eve is 2 and Nina is almost 1. And sorry, this is one of my least favourite chapters that I've written in a while, so it's not that great.

* * *

On the morning of September fourth, Nathan walked into their bedroom to find Haley nursing a whimpering Nina. He smiled, not having seen either of them all day. 

"Happy anniversary," he said, smiling slightly.

"You too. Where's Eve?" she asked.

"Parked in front of a Wiggles DVD. Basically in heaven. She okay?" he asked.

"Bit of a fever. You haven't planned a romantic getaway, have you?" she asked. He walked over and pecked her on the lips.

"Not a one. We're old and boring now," he said, chuckling to himself as he walked from the room.

Haley managed to put Nina down for a nap before running to watch TV with Eve, who she constantly worried about ignoring. Eve settled in her lap and relaxed as Haley began to comb through her dark curls.

As Nathan entered the room with Nina in his arms, Haley registered with surprise that she was surprised to see him there. He had been working in all his spare time for months. She didn't suspect him of any extra-curricular activities, but she missed him. She missed his presence, his guidance and his touch. On their anniversary in particular.

She allowed her mind to flow backward. Back to three years previously. It had been that long now, since she'd left Seamus to come to Nathan, to beg money and accept his binding terms.

When he came to sit beside her, she rested her head on his shoulder, sighing softly. In her heart, this anniversary wasn't important. Other things were. The first time he'd told her he loved her. The first time she'd told him she loved him. These were infinitely closer to her heart.

"I love you," she whispered. To his ears, it was still a gift. The impact had never lessened.

"I love you too," he said. His words would never mean as much to her as hers did to him.

As she combed through Eve's hair and slowly braided it in to two braids, she snuggled up to him. He put his arm around her.

* * *

The next morning, Haley was disenheartened to watch Nathan go off to work as he always did in the mornings. She missed him. She didn't know how to tell him how. 

"Nathan?" said Lucas in surprise, as his brother walked past his office.

"Hey Luke," he said.

"What are you doing here? Wasn't your honeymoon yesterday? I thought you'd be coming in late," said Lucas.

"Nina was sick. She ended up in bed with us. It wasn't exactly honeymoon material," he said awkwardly.

"Well, that's a first," said Lucas, chuckling.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You guys go at it a lot," he said simply, walking past him to the photocopy room.

Nathan leaned back in his own leather chair in front of his desk, reluctant to let his thoughts wander to Lucas' comment. He was right, for most of their married lives. Until he'd started to be a total dick and start blowing her off all the time in order to work at a job he hated.

"Mr. Scott?" came a voice. Nathan forced a smile as his secretary walked in.

"Deb, how are you this morning?" he asked.

"Quite well, and you?"

"Just dandy," he muttered.

"I couldn't help but overhear what Lucas was saying..."

"Help yourself, next time. Lucas doesn't know what he's talking about?" said Nathan stubbornly.

"You two growing apart?" asked Deb Lee sympathetically.

"There hasn't been any significant period of time that we were particularly close," he muttered.

"There were rumours... when you married..."

"That it was merely a mutually benefitial business arrangment? Legalized prostitution?" he said cynically.

"I thought you loved her," said Deb in amazement. Nathan looked up, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"I do. More than anything, except our two girls. I've always loved her," he swore.

"She doesn't love you?"

"She does. For a long time she didn't, or thought she didn't. She got over it. Pretty lately, actually," he said. His hands grasped a photograph off the desk. Deb glanced at it: Haley, looking youthful, blonde and beautiful, holding Eve by the hand and Nina or her hip, grinning at the photographer.

"She's a beautiful girl," said Deb.

"That she is. You think I hadn't noticed? I notice every day," he said.

"You think you love her more than she loves you. More than she's capable of. You think she's biding her time before leaving you. You think she regrets your children."

"If we're being frank, why do we have to talk about me? Let's talk about you, Miss Lee. About my father, maybe. Did you love him?" he asked. Deb gasped in surprise.

"How on Earth do you know that?"

"What, that you screwed around with him? When he was married to my mother? Everyone knew. I just pitied you when I got your application," he said cruelly.

"No, I didn't love him. I've never regretted anything so much. But you have no cause for regret, Nathan. You love Haley and did what you had to to get her. She doesn't regret it, either. I've seen you two together. So for God's sake, stop moping and go home to the woman you love." Deb left, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

* * *

"So. Apparently the brunette was just a one off for Jagielski." It took a moment for Ryan's eyes to adjust to the dark of the apartment, and register the owner of the voice. 

"Davis?"

"Because in general, he prefers blondes. Are you even old enough to have a lover, kid?" she asked sceptically.

"I don't have one," she said coolly.

"Right, you're just the platonic kind of roommates," she said.

"Just like you and Peyton?" asked Ryan.

"Give it up. He'll never love you the way he loved her."

"True. And she'll never love you the way she loves him," said Ryan. Davis slapped her hard across the face. Ryan looked down at her, glad of her extra inches.

"There's a state for what you're going through. It's called denial. Look it up," she said.

"There's also something to describe what you're going through. It's called "Never Going To Happen."

Ryan tossed her hair over her shoulder and stalked to her bedroom. Davis idly picked up a photograph from the side table.

Haley, Nathan, Brooke and Lucas were posing with their four collective children. Davis shook her head in amazement. Nothing had turned out the way she'd planned.

* * *

"And so yeah. It's all better now," said Brooke happily. Chris Keller turned toward her. 

"If it was really all better, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Complicated."

"Humour me."

Brooke cracked a smile. She glanced down at her wedding band, and caught sight of her reflection.

"Bite me, Keller."

Chris glanced toward her and smirked.

"Baby, save it for tonight."

Brooke grabbed her purse from a side table and flounced out. Not that he cared. She'd be back. She wasn't ready to be happy.


	93. One Step Forward

Chapter Ninety-Three: One Step Forward

The time had come.

In fact, it had come a long time ago. Haley should have confronted Nathan at his first signs of breaking away from her, as he would have done. But she hadn't. And their gap bad grown.

She'd woken up feeling alone, lonely in their vast bed without his comforting heat, his arms around her. She needed him. She needed to tell him.

In the front hall, the door slowly creaked open. She approached. In the dark, she looked no different than she had at eighteen.

"Haley?" he said in surprise.

"I missed you," she said.

"What, today?"

"They did too. Evie asked after you. She doesn't see you often enough. I don't want Nina to see you as a stranger, either," said Haley. Nathan dropped his briefcase on the floor.

"She won't," he said in surprise.

"You're damn right she won't. Cut back your hours, Nate. Come home. Come home to me," she said. His eyes softened.

"You know there's no place I'd rather be," he said.

"I don't know. I've never known. Show me, Nathan," she begged.

Nathan stared at hear, appealing for his love. Once upon a time, she'd resented his love. She'd tried to destroy it, and had nearly destroyed him in the process.

"Tomorrow night, I'll take you and Eve out, and we'll leave Nina with Ryan. The next night we'll take Nina out and leave Eve with Jake. The night after, we can go over to Lucas' for dinner," he said. She raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Thank you," she whispered. She ran up the stairs in front of him, knowing he'd follow her.

* * *

"Damnit Nathan, where the hell are you?" mumbled Haley angrily to herself as she buttoned her daughter's winter jacket and slipped a scarf around her own neck. 

"Huh?" asked Eve, coming out of a daydream.

"Nothing sweetie, I'm just wondering where your father is, but I'm sure he'll be here soon," said Haley.

"Me too," she said.

"I know you do, baby," said Haley, as the front door to their home entered and Nathan walked in, brushing snow off the jacket he was wearing. He looked up at his wife in surprise when his snowsuit clad daughter threw herself into his arms.

"You guys going out?"

"We're going out. Remember?" she asked. He eyed the line of ice skates on the hall table and nodded slowly.

"Skating. Right. Let's go," he said. She noticed that he'd changed from his suit into a pair of jeans.

"Great. Sorry I was late. Want a ride?" he asked his daughter, still clinging to his chest. She giggled as he lifted her onto his shoulders.

As Nathan shot her his trademark "puppy" look, Haley softened and quickened her pace to join her husband and daughter. She'd promised Eve an evening with the both of them, and Eve was getting damn used to whatever she'd been promised.

As Nathan helped his daughter into her skates and began to lace them tightly up her ankles, Haley took a few practice glides around the rink. She was unsteady at first, but quickly regained what little talent she'd always had for it.

Nathan quickly finished with Eve's skate and helped her to her feet. While his hand tightened her scarf and put on her hat, making sure their daughter would be warm, he watched Haley glide around the ice, wishing for the briefest moment that they were together, alone.

Haley skated up to them as Eve took her first tentative steps onto the ice. She took her daughter's hand and held it tightly as the girl stumbled.

"Mommy, it's slippy," she said.

"We'll keep you safe," promised Haley, smiling over her head at Nathan.

"I know," said Eve, as if surprised that her mother felt the need to state the obvious. Haley smiled and Nathan held back a laugh.

Eve began to take cautious step like glides along the ice, supported by both her parents. She tentatively squeezed her mother's hand as she gained confidence. Haley looked down at her hand tightly clasped in her daughter's, and her husband's hand clasped in the other. In so many more ways than this, Eve was the most important link in her chain. She was what kept them together, kept their chain intact. Without her, without Nina, it would undeniably fall to pieces.

It was ironic, perhaps, that these thoughts were going through Haley's head when a gunshot sounded and a bullet imbedded itself in the ice inches ahead of where they skated.

Haley instantly lost her head and let out a high pitched scream while Nathan knocked her to the ground and looked around wildly for help, which came in the form of two nearby policemen Haley wrapped her arms around her daughter and held her close while the two men drew their guns, surrounding the small family.

"Nathan, get down!" she whispered fiercely.

* * *

Hours later, Nathan had put Eve to bed with her nightlight on, had observed Nina sleeping peacefully in her crib, and was searching for Haley. She wasn't asleep in their bedroom, like he'd expected her to be. She understandably wasn't on the small terraced balcony, she wasn't in the kitchen. 

He at least discovered her spread out a sofa, her eyelids fluttering open and closed, a half empty glass of wine beside her. Nathan sighed and walked over to gently lift her into his arms.

As he carefully balanced her weight and began to take steps toward the spiraling staircase, she shifted.

"Shh. Sleep," he said.

"I'm not asleep, and I'm not drunk. I'm just tired, but I can walk," said Haley firmly. He reluctantly set her down on her feet, and sighed as she quickly proceeded up the stairs ahead of him.

Knowing that she needed her space, he stopped off to check on Eve before entering his bedroom. Only one lamp was on and it took him a moment to locate her in the dark, sitting upright at her vanity mirror, slowly brushing her long blonde hair.

"Are you okay?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe. She met eyes with him in the mirror.

"She could have died, Nate."

"She'll be fine."

"She'd better. We need her. I love her. I love both of them. People can't just ruin us like this, I won't let them," she said.

"Me too. I... I can never rest easy unless I know they're safe. They mean the world to me. All of you," he said. She smiled and brushed a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Are you going to get protection for us?" she asked.

"Yeah. Soon. But you're going to have to leave the city," he said.

"Without you?" she asked.

"Yes. I'm a danger to you. People wouldn't be aiming at you without me," he said.

"Who would aim at you at all?" she asked.

"Who knows? But it isn't the first time. You need to get out. With Nina and Eve. Tomorrow," he said firmly.

"I don't want to leave you," she whispered.

"Yeah? Well, I don't want you to die."

Nathan walked out. Haley crumpled onto the bed and sobbed, for the dangers facing them and for the love she feared to lose.


	94. Two Steps Back

Chapter Ninety-Four: Two Steps Back

The next morning, Nathan had left the house before the sun could fully come up, in a long black company car with police escort.

Haley enclosed herself in with Eve and Nina all day, waiting for him to return home. She managed to ignore the paparazzi in front of the house and the continually ringing phone, her attentions constantly on him.

At eight, she put the two of them to bed. At eight thirty, she showered and got ready for bed herself.

At nine, he arrived home.

* * *

"Haley, what are you doing here? You have to get out of New York," said Nathan when he arrived back in the bedroom expecting to find it empty. 

She slowly stood from the vanity stool and walked over to him. She was wearing a short satin nighty with a dressing gown loosely draped over top of it, and it occurred to him how much he needed her, and would miss her. He dared to look into her open eyes, that which were screaming out to him.

"I'm not leaving you," she said.

"I know. I just don't want you to get hurt," he said firmly, kissing the top of her head.

"I won't. I don't want to leave you alone," she said again.

"You think I want you gone? Tomorrow, Haley. Take the babies and get out of the city," he ordered her. She sighed.

"Babe, Eve isn't a baby anymore. And Nina's growing. But this one is. And will be for a while yet," said Haley gently. He looked down at her in confusion, and she smiled before taking his wrist and placing his hand on her flat stomach.

"But you didn't want..."

"I didn't. But I do now, I promise," she said.

"You owe it to both of them then. Just go, Haley," he said.

"Don't you love me?"

"For what it's worth, I'll always love you," he said firmly, pulling her into him and kissing her gently.

"Thank you. Are you happy, Nathan?" she asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe," he promised, leaning down to kiss her again.

* * *

At eight the next morning, Nathan watched through the front window as Haley drove away with his daughters in one of the black cars. He swallowed painfully, telling himself forcefully that she'd return unscathed. 

Haley stared straight ahead while the privat jet was prepared for takeoff. Officers closely monitered Nina and Eve, who were acting more subdued than they were normall.

"Haley? Earth to Haley?" came a voice. Haley looked up sharply to see Brooke's green eyes staring down at her. She lept up and threw her arms around her friend, never having felt so glad to see anybody.

"Oh my God, Tigger. They shot at us. He's making me leave. I'm so scared," she whimpered.

"I know. Lucas told me to go with you. It makes no sense. But we'll be fine," she said consolingly.

"It was so close. If we'd gone one step further one of us could have died," said Haley.

"I know. But you didn't, and we get to take a vacation, so it's all pretty much an upper," she said.

"I had to leave Nathan. I wanted him to come but he said we had to be safe," she said.

"Babe, he's right. Come on, it's ready," she said.

Eve walked slightly ahead of her in the hand of an officer. Haley pushed Nina's stroller while Brooke walked with Devon and Hayden.

The world was silent as they walked onto the tarmac and toward the family jet. Brooke continually glanced sideways at Haley, gaudging her emotions. Eve whimpered and climbed onto the hip of the officer.

Brooke saw what was to happen only a moment before it did. She didn't have time to shriek, or jump, or dodge until it happened.

Haley fell to the ground as the bullet hit her, disbelief in her eyes. Brooke screamed, her voice echoing the gunshot as the officers surrounded them. Nina awoke in her stroller and yelled complainingly.

"Haley?" asked Brooke urgently, dropping to the ground and grabbing her hand. She squeezed it tightly as the ambulance was called.

"The baby... Nathan..." she murmured, dropping backward onto the tarmac, breathing heavily, her eyelids fluttering as blood poured out of her.

"Nina's fine," promised Brooke tearfully. She pressed Haley's hand to her cheek. Haley smiled eerily to her.

"You'll keep her safe," said Haley.

"I won't need to. You can. Stay with me," she begged.

"Shh," she said.

"She's delirious," said an officer helpfully, leaning over her to take her pulse.

"I kind of got that. We won't be needing the jet," said Brooke impatiently.

"You're not leaving with your sons, Mrs. Scott?" asked an officer in surprise. Brooke resisted the urge to club him over the head.

"She's my best friend, of course not."

Paramedics arrived with a stretched that they loaded Haley on to. Brooke ran after them, leaving the four with the officers, calling Nathan as she ran.

* * *

"BROOKE!" Brooke Scott looked up sharply as she heard her name screamed. 

"God, Nathan," she said shakily, bracing herself as he hugged her tightly.

"Where is she?"

"In the ER. She got shot. There was blood _everywhere... _Nina and Evie are fine," she said hurriedly.

"Blood?" he asked, suddenly going pale.

"It's what happens," she said in surprise.

"Fuck. Haley... she was pregnant," he said.

"She might..."

"Don't. You know it's not. Can you call everyone?" he asked.

Brooke watched his retreating figure, her heart aching.

* * *

As they'd done once before, the Scotts slowly gathered. Lucas and Brooke took Eve and Nina back home and stayed there with Devon and Hayden. Jake and Ryan arrived, breathless and lacking in information. Startling everyone, Leigh arrived hours later, having flown in from school, and threw herself into Ryan's arms. 

As night fell, Nathan called and spoke to Brooke. They spoke for several minutes before she turned to the rest of them, dread growing on her face.


	95. When You Forget To Breathe

Chapter Ninety-Five: When You Forget To Breathe

As Brooke stared at them all and palor began to replace her usually flushed, animated face, Lucas walked toward her and comfortingly took her hand. Ryan held her breath and automatically turned inward to Jake, who put his arms around her.

"For God's sakes, just tell us," said Leigh eventually in frustration. Brooke snapped out of her reverie and sent her sister-in-law a glare.

"Haley's going to be fine. But she had a miscarriage," said Brooke.

The room was silent for a moment. Ryan couldn't help but be secretly relieved, fearing that the news could have been much worse.

"I didn't even know she was pregnant," said Jake.

"No one did. Nathan just told me a while ago," said Brooke.

"She was on the pill," said Ryan in disbelief.

"She probably skipped one. Or it was just a fluke. Oh God," said Brooke pitifully. Lucas slowly put his arms around her and held her close.

"How did Nathan sound?" asked Leigh.

"Cold. Fine. I don't know."

Leigh glanced around the room. She couldn't help but be amazed, at Brooke and Lucas' lack of communication, at Jake and Ryan's closeness.

"Are they all asleep?" asked Ryan eventually.

"What, the kids? Yeah," said Lucas in surprise. Ryan wandered over to a corner cabinet and pulled out a bottle of tequila.

"Anyone up for some pain numbing?"

* * *

"God Leigh, you even legal?" asked Brooke, giggling. 

"Just barely," she said sarcastically, drowning another shot.

"Stop that, Leighana Mae Scott. I may have to confiscate that," said Lucas, grabbing the neck of the bottle and bringing it to his own lips.

"Hypocrite," she pouted.

"Cry me a river."

"Mm. I need ice-cream. Do you think they have any in their freezer?" asked Brooke, standing unsteadily.

"Let's go check the freezer. And on the way we can look for Jyan and Rake," said Lucas. Brooke giggled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Please, it's obvious. Apparently life threatening situations are great for getting laid..." she said giddily, leaning on him as they walked to the kitchen.

* * *

"It's always like this. Tragedies always bring us all together, no matter how much we've been torn apart," said Ryan sadly. 

"Remember August 2006? Nathan getting shot?" he asked.

"I don't think you guys were even talking to Peyton. God, that was a million years ago. At least," she said.

"At least," agreed Jake.

Ryan turned away from the window she was facing. The moonlight shimmered in her tied back hair. Jake was sitting on her old bed, his hands on his knees, sitting upright and uncomfortably on her childhood bed.

"You and me, too. Tragedies. Or emotional situations. Bring us together. Always," he said. She reached behind her head to pull out the elastic that held up her hair. He stared as she shook out her blonde locks and they cascaded down her back.

Jake held out his hands to her. She grasped them firmly as she climbed onto his lap and wrapped her legs around his waist, straddling him. She linked her hands around his neck and stared into his eyes.

"Where is everyone?" he asked dryly.

"Downstairs. Getting drunk. They won't miss us. Even if they do, they're not about to interrupt," she said suggestively.

"But Haley..."

"Damn, you're not exactly making a girl feel appreciated."

"You're my best friend. We can't just..." said Jake.

"Oh, we can just. And you want to, don't you Jake? I've noticed," she said, smirking.

"But..."

"Hush."

Ryan leaned forward and kissed him. Immediately he responded, and she felt him stiffen beneath her. Her nerves tingled in anticipation as he pulled her body closer in to his and let his hand cup her right breast.

"This is wrong," he murmured, as she shed his shirt, revealing his hard stomach muscles.

"It's right. It was always inevitable. Apparently women and men can't just be friends," she said.

"Do you think I want to be just friends?" he asked, falling back onto the bed and pulling her with him.

She breathed in sharply as his kisses trailed down her neck and his hands began to lift the bottom of her shirt. In a moment he'd revealed her bubble-gum pink bra, and in another he'd unflicked the strap and torn it off to reveal her small, firm breasts. She gasped as his lips fell to her breast and she felt his desperate need of her course through both of them.

As she dug her nails into his back in anticipation, he leaned back up and kissed her lips again. He slowly found her pleasure point with his fingers and slowly slipped them inside of her, feeling her began to breath heavily in response beneath him.

"I need you," she whispered, her lips seeking his again. He kissed her longingly before thrusting inside of her. She looked up into his brown eyes for a moment before her own slid close in satisfaction.

Ryan was tight, but she was no virgin. Jake knew this and accepted that as much as it killed him, someone else had gotten to her first, perhaps years before he'd entered her life, years before he'd begun to want her.

He rolled off of her after he withdrew.

"Nice timing," she murmured.

"Haley's going to be fine," he said.

"Don't look so guilty. Sometimes I think you forget that I'm not seventeen anymore," she said. This had always been a bit redundant, with her being only a year younger.

"Haley's six years younger than Nathan. I know," he said, sounding unconvinced.

"And it isn't anything I've never done before," she said. Jake frowned, wishing she hadn't chosen that moment to bring it up.

Slowly they got out of the bed and began to put on their clothing. Jake stared as she ran around the room in her bra, desperately seeking her shirt before discovering it under the bed. His mind flashed to an internal image of them, with her on his lap, kissing on the bed. He'd been hard already. He wanted her. Again and again. He wanted her right then and there. How had this happened to him?

"Guys? Nathan just called, Haley's awake. We can visit in the morning," called Brooke up the stairs. Jake glanced toward Ryan to gaudge her reaction, but for once she was looking away.


	96. Screaming At The Top of My Lungs

Chapter Ninety-Six: Screaming at the Top of My Lungs

Nathan's face was grave as he slowly pushed Haley out of the hospital in her wheelchair. She hadn't spoken a word to him since he'd picked her up that morning.

Everyone was still at the house when they arrived home. Ryan and Jake were asleep, crowded intimately onto one couch. Brooke was curled up into an armchair. Lucas could be hear upstairs, attempting to calm the four children all at once.

Haley ran upstairs, hoping to avoid them all, their sympathetic eyes, their well intended words.

Haley flinched as Nathan lightly touched her arm, and moved away from him. Quicker than she was, he followed her step and pulled her in to his arms.

"Get out, Nathan," she said, as his arms closed around her. He didn't move, and she began to struggle violently against him.

He didn't let her go. Part of him wanted to let her run, find comfort in her pain, but the larger part of him wouldn't let her. She fought against his strong hold on her until she gave up and melted in to him, sobbing.

"I can't face it, Nathan," she cried.

"We'll face it together. We have Eve. We have Nina," he reminded her.

"But now we'll always know how much more we could have had," she said pathetically.

"We can have it again," he murmured.

"It won't be the same. Nothing's ever going to be, ever again," said Haley tearfully.

Nathan couldn't help but silently agree.

* * *

"How is she?" 

Nathan glanced downward at the blonde woman. Usually he was impatient with the well wishing visitors, but he was glad to see Deb, who he hadn't spoken to in person in what felt like weeks.

"Tired. Sad."

Deb peeked into their bedroom to see Haley sleeping fitfully among the sheets.

"Understandably. Poor little thing. How are the kids?"

"They miss her. She's been kind of distant," he admitted.

"It's been almost three weeks," she said worriedly.

"I know. I can't take care of them by myself, and eventually I'm going to have to come back to work. I'm at a loss, I can't expect Brooke and Lucas to keep chipping in," he said.

"Of course not. May I make a suggestion?" she asked. Nathan smiled.

"Of course."

"Hire a nanny. That way she can take as much time as she needs, and you know she's been struggling anyway," said Deb, tactfully not mentioning his increased workload.

"I'll talk to her about it," said Nathan eventually, wondering how she'd responded to what she'd inevitably see as an attack.

* * *

"Hales?" said Nathan cautiously, walking over to the bed later that evening. She stirred and looked up at him. 

"Nathan. What time is it?"

"Almost six. Don't worry. I just have something to ask you."

Haley didn't reply, but Nathan spoke anyway.

"We should hire a nanny. That way you could take this time to get well," he said.

"Yeah. And you wouldn't have to stay with us any longer than necessary. You know, we could just hire someone to go in to work for you. Or someone to stay in bed and do nothing so I could look after them. Or someone to have our kids, because apparently I'm no longer capable of it," she said bitterly.

"Haley, this isn't your fault," he said.

"This is your solution? Hire someone else to raise our kids?" she asked desperately.

"Calm down, she'd just be there to help," said Nathan, stroking her hair.

"This is all wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. We weren't even supposed to be together. We aren't supposed to be together forever, Nathan," she whispered. Nathan willed himself to have patience, to get them over her pain.

* * *

When Haley continually refused to improve, Nathan went about hiring a nanny as Eve and Nina became more and more difficult. 

He quickly went through ten applicants, convinced that they weren't experienced enough to look after his daughters. He was lucky that there was no shortage of nannies who wanted to look after the rich, prestigious Scotts.

His eyes skimmed the resume of the eleventh applicant, a Helen MacDonald. He was mildly impressed, but expected her to be nothing more than the previous.

Upon seeing her, he realized he'd been expecting a girl who lived up to her name-a redhead most likely, with fair skin and a dusting of freckles. He was surprised when a petite brunette entered. Her dark brown, almost black hair was wavy. She was hispanic and had a heart shaped face, dark almond eyes and olive skin. She was younger than the rest of the applicants and looked to be about Haley's age, or even slightly younger.

"I'm sorry about your wife," she said hesitantly, standing in front of his study desk.

"Thank you, Miss MacDonald. Please, take a seat," he said, gesturing.

"Oh, it's Heli. My Mom's hispanic, my Dad's Scotish," she said, seemingly noticing his surprised eyes.

"Would you like to tell me about yourself, Heli?" he asked, glancing down at her resume again.

"Sure. I was born here, but I went oversees as an au pere for several years. I have three younger siblings and I spent a lot of time babysitting them when I was growing up. I spent a year looking after the children of the US Ambassador to Spain," she said.

"Impressive. Do you have any questions?" he asked.

"How old are Nina and Eve exactly? The ad didn't say," she said nervously.

"Nina's almost a year and Eve is about two and a half. They're nice girls. I don't know how many hours this job would entail, as I expect Haley to get on her feet soon, but she's been needing help for a while."

"I have to ask, why did you decide to hire after going so long without?" asked Heli.

"I think it might be the first time I've been unsure we could handle everything alone," he said eventually.

Heli glanced down at her lap and frowned, certain for an instant that she'd opened up a far too intimate topic.

"So. When can you start?" he asked, dropping her resume on the table and looking her straight in the eye.


	97. What We Lack

Chapter Ninety-Seven: What We Lack

* * *

Author's note: God, words can't explain how much I'm loving all you guys right now. Thank you sooo much for your messages of support and for your offers to glass window, I really appreciate it, and hopefully they'll get me going again. I don't think I'm going to be updating daily again quite yet, but hopefully this will tide you over for a while.

* * *

Brooke glanced uneasily behind her shoulder at the waiting cop car as she skipped up the stone steps to Nathan and Haley's house. Not bothering to knock, she unlocked the door and ran inside.

"Hello?" came a suspicious voice. Brooke froze as a woman entered the hall with Nina in tow.

"Who the hell are you?" demanded Brooke.

"I'm Heli MacDonald. I'm the nanny. Who are you and how'd you get in?" she asked.

"So you're not stealing my goddaughter? Good to hear. I'm the sister-in-law. Brooke Scott. Nice to meet you too," she said sarcastically.

"Oh. Sorry, Mrs. Scott. You look... different in person," she said, blushing.

"That's okay. Heli, right? Coming here just doesn't put me in the best of spirits anymore. How's our girl doing?" she asked, glancing upstairs.

"The same. I've barely seen her since I started here," she said.

"What, you've been alone with Nathan? Please don't tell me he's pulling a Jude Law," she said. Heli smiled.

"No, of course not. She's in her room," said Heli. Brooke smiled and ran up the stairs.

The air in the room was stifling. All the curtains were drawn, and the lights were off. She slowly approached the bed and sat down next to Haley's sleeping form.

"You awake?" she whispered loudly.

"Brooke?" she asked, rolling over. "Hey."

"I met your new nanny. Do we trust her?" asked Brooke.

"Not yet. But she's not going to hurt them. How are you? How's the outside world?" she asked.

"Lonely," said Brooke, slipping down onto the bed beside Haley.

"No one's keeping you company?" asked Haley sympathetically.

"There's no one to anymore. Peyton's in Europe and shows no intention of coming back. Davis hasn't talked to me in ages. Ryan's wrapped up in Jake. Literally, I think they're doing it," she said. Haley smiled.

"Well, someone should."

"Lucas and I haven't slept together in ages, I know. Poor baby, how's Nathan taking it?" asked Brooke.

"Obviously he's a lot less disturbed and sad by it all. He's more worried about me than he is sad about the..." Brooke frowned as Haley went pale and fell silent.

"Can you still..?"

"Yeah. Eventually. Someday. Probably with someone else," said Haley.

"As if. You seem to conveniantly forget sometimes that you're madly in love with him. He'd do anything for you, Haley. You're the only thing that he's ever cared about," she whispered.

Haley stared at her for a second, remembering everything she'd gone through with Brooke, everything she'd gone through without her. She reached forward and stroked her dark hair.

"You know, as much as I love Nathan... as much as I might love any man, someday, somewhere in the future, I know I'll never love _anyone_ as much as I love you," said Haley.

Brooke leaned forward and kissed her friend's forehead. Haley's eyes slid close.

"Tell me a story, Brookie," she whispered.

"Do you remember the first grade?" she asked.

"I was there."

"I know. Peyton, Jake and Chris hadn't shown up. It was our best year ever. I got married to Dylan White on the playground," she said.

"I was your bridesmaid," said Haley, remembering with a smile.

"Yeah. I wore a God awful dress that I thought was gorgeous, and I had a boquet of dandelions. It was a big event. Even the second graders came," said Brooke, reminiscing with a smile.

"You were a big deal," said Haley.

"So were you. I remember everyone always fawned over you and Chris. And people thought you were more beautiful than me, even if I was more popular," she said.

"We were good at high school. Things didn't fall apart till afterward."

"Yeah." Haley took along pause, and for a moment Brooke thought she'd fallen asleep. "And they still haven't come back together yet."

* * *

After watching her best friend sleep for a time, Brooke wandered out. She reflected that Nathan's house, which had once seemed so cold to her, was now a second home. 

She discovered her brother-in-law upon wandering in to the kitchen.

"Did she talk to you?" he asked. Brooke frowned, feeling traitorous.

"Yeah," she admitted.

"Well? Is she doing any better?" he asked expectantly.

Brooke scowled at him.

"She's just perfect," she muttered.

"Why are you mad at me? I'm trying to fix things, Brooke. Believe it or not, I'm not just some jerk with a hidden agenda. Haley's my wife. I want to help her," he said imploringly.

"Fine. She's miserable. She's a wreck. I don't think she's stopped crying since she got back. And I think she misses you, but I sure as hell don't understand why," yelled Brooke.

"Now why is bitch being a Brooke?" he asked, folding his arms.

Brooke pouted for a second.

"Lucas and I haven't done it in weeks," she admitted eventually.

"Okay, I don't think I needed to know that. But that can be fixed. Is that really the problem?" he asked.

"No. There's a lot of problems. We're just not too good with coping with them," she said.

"No one is," he said helpfully. She half smiled at him.

"Sorry I yelled. I just hate it when her life sucks. It kind of seems like her life always does," admitted Brooke.

"Thanks," he said sarcastically.

"I love him. I really do. I just don't know anymore if we were meant to be," said Brooke sadly.

"What, you believe in that crap? I don't," he said.

"Please. The first time you kissed Haley, you told her she was the one," she said.

"And it got her kissing me, didn't it?" he asked, winking. Brooke laughed and slapped his shoulder.

"No, seriously."

"I don't know. I think marriage is more about working for it than about destiny, some days," he said.

"It seemed so ideal. I was pregnant, he was in love with me. And we spent two years having kids and living our happily ever after," she said.

"Brooke, I'm not going to lie to you and say you'll get back there. But you will get to a better place. That I do know," he said.

Brooke leaned upward to peck his cheek.

"Thank you, BIL. Now I'm going home to my own man. Good luck with the nanny. Don't sleep with her," said Brooke sternly.

"You're quite the woman, Brooke Davis," he said warmly.

"Tscha. Brooke Scott, remember? I'll be seeing you, Nate," she said, walking out.

Nathan watched her go for a moment before running upstairs and trying to fix that which he still could not understand.


	98. The Journey

Chapter Ninety-Eight: The Journey

Ryan Scott shivered slightly in the summer air as she looked down at the vast lawn spread out in front of her. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

Everyone she cared about and then some were there. Haley and Nathan and Brooke and Lucas were close to the front, smiling proudly. Haley was smiling for real for the first time in what felt like months. Jake was beside them, looking stoic.

Her mind flashed to his own graduation, a year previously. They'd continued to live in the same apartment together all year, even with their sporadic kisses, and what had eventually developed in to so much more.

Ryan wondered how she could have let that happen. She'd never planned it. It had been an emotional evening. Somehow they'd managed to continue living as though everything was normal, even though it was painfully obvious to both that it never would be again.

Her gaze flicked to Leigh, sitting beside Jake, with her new boyfriend on the other side of her. Leigh had no problems with having spontaneous sex. She was easy, and unashamed of it.

Ryan wasn't easy. Before Jake, she'd had exactly two sexual partners. One had been during her senior year of high school, when she'd been trying desperately to think of anything but her parent's deaths. The other had been during her junior year, when she'd gotten drunk at a party without Jake. Then of course, there had been Jake. The only time it had really counted, the only time she'd felt anything at all.

Of course, he didn't know she'd felt it. He thought what she led him to believe: that men and women could never just be friends, that sex would always come between them, even when completely detached from love.

Ryan put her arms around Jake before bothering to approach her brothers or their wives. There was no point in pretending they were as important.

After he loosened his arms, he pressed a kiss firmly onto her lips. None of the Scotts even raised their eyebrows. It was entirely platonic. But she didn't mind. He never touched her anymore, platonically or otherwise.

"Good job, Kid," said Nathan, taking her in to his own arms. She smiled as he kissed her hair. Nathan knew her secrets.

Back in the apartment, Ryan prepared to go out for a night in which she'd spent even more time pretending she was happy. It seemed exhausting, and thoroughly not worth it.

"Ryan?" he called. She ignored his voice and shed her shirt, leaving her standing half naked in the room. She covered herself with her hands as tears began to spill from her lids.

Behind her, she heard the door open. Jake took two steps into the room, and she looked over her shoulder at him. They stared at each other. Ryan wondered what Jake could possibly need so urgently that he had to enter her room.

Then she wondered if he merely wanted to see her.

"What?" she asked eventually. She dropped her hands to her sides and turned to face him. His eyes widened at her exposed body, but he didn't turn away.

Jake Jagielski's eyes took in her tall, slender form. She shook out her hair so it covered her more fully.

"We need to talk," he said eventually.

"What, now?" she aked.

"Want to put on a shirt?" he asked.

"I might have had the time to, if you hadn't just barged in like that," she said resenftully.

"Baby..."

"Don't. Get out," she said. He slowly backed out of the room, his eyes fast on his best friend turned lover.

* * *

Haley smiled as she began to enter their bedroom. Pausing, she leaned against the doorframe and smiled. Nathan was on their bed playing with Nina, with Eve hanging off his shoulders. 

She waited silently by the door until Nathan rose, announcing it was time for their nap. He looked up in surprise and they made contact. Surprising even herself, Haley smiled.

Nathan quickly put down Eve and Nina for their respective naps before hurrying back to the room. He smiled at Haley, now sitting on their bed.

"How are you? You look better. Happy," he said decidedly.

She crawled onto his lap and leaned in to his chest. Nathan began to soothingly rub her back as he inhaled the scent of her hair.

"I think I am," she said.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed life. It was so hard. I hurt so much," she said.

"I did too. You could have told me," he said.

"I never think of that until it's too late," said Haley, laughing softly.

"We're in a bad pattern, Hales. We need to break it."

"I don't think they make books on this one," she joked.

His hold tightened on her. What seemed like every day, he was afraid to lose her, but didn't know how to tell her. Somehow she knew anyway.

"I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. I don't care that you left me, I don't care that you lied. You've made up for it, Nathan Scott. I love you."

Despite everything, Nathan couldn't help but feel relieved. He wasn't sure he forgave himself, but her words were enough. Maybe without the guilt he could finally let himself be happy.

"I never thought our lives would be like this," he said finally. Haley glanced up at him.

"I did. I always knew. I told Ryan on our wedding night, it was always obvious."

"She never told me."

"Well, I should hope not. I hated you, or thought I did. I have something else to tell you," she said.

"What?" he asked, almost nervously.

"I went off the pill. I want another baby," she said softly.

"If you're just doing this to make up for..."

Haley pressed a finger to his lips.

"I'm not. Nathan, it's about time we had a child not made of accidents. It's about time we had a child created purely from us."

Haley looped her arms around his neck and nestled further in to him. His scent was comforting. His love was everything.


	99. We Become

Chapter Ninety-Nine: We Become

* * *

Author's note: So a while ago I made a blog but lately I just added some stuff to it, like my interpretation of who would play some of the characters in this story. It's kind of neat, I think. So if you want to see it, you can link to it from my author page. And I wrote two chapters this morning, so I think I'm finally getting on track. And next chapter's the actual number one hundred, isn't that exciting?

* * *

Jake dozed fitfully on the sofa, attempting to stay awake. Even his dreams were plagued with her, so even sleep was no longer a release. 

He awoke instantly as Ryan's feet could be heard by the door. He ran over to her.

"We need to talk," he said, sound more urgent than he'd meant to. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to bed, Jake."

He caught her upper arm in a vice like grip. She winced and attempted to pull away from a moment.

"Come on."

He sat her down in front of him on the sofa while he sat on the coffee table. She folded her arms and leaned back.

"What?" she asked eventually.

"Well we could start with the issue of you being a colossal brat," he said in annoyance.

"Be quiet."

"What's bothering you?" he asked, ignoring her.

"You are! We slept together, and you're still treating me like a child. I'm tired of it."

"Ry, you're acting like a child," he said.

"We slept together, Jake," she reminded him. He sighed.

"I know. What does it mean to you?"

Ryan stared at him.

"You're still in love with Peyton. I'm not delusional."

"You're out of school now. Do you want to move out?" he asked.

"No."

"What are you going to do? Get a job? Volunteer, travel? Being an heiress you're not exactly restricted," he said.

"I'm not going to do any of those things," she said eventually.

"Come on, give me something to work with here," he pleaded.

"Fine. I'm not going to get a job because I'm going to have a baby, instead."

* * *

Jake was silent for what seemed like an eternity. 

"What, you're pregnant?" he asked shakily, trying to remember exactly when they'd had sex together.

"God, don't look so freaky. That was like seven months ago. No, I plan on getting pregnant. I'm going to get sperm and have a baby," she said.

"Ryan, why?"

"Because it's all I want. All I've ever wanted, ever since my Mom and Dad died. I want a family of my own, and I don't want to run the risk that it'll never happen," she said.

"That's crazy. You're twenty-two, you have your whole life ahead of you, and you're gorgeous. There's no chance in hell you won't marry a rich guy and live happily ever after," he said.

"It's what I'm going to do. It's the only thing I've ever looked forward to. I've made up my mind, Jake."

* * *

Women. They were crazy, every one of them. She'd get over it. It had to be a fad. Having a baby with a complete stranger wasn't in her. 

His consciounce tugged at him. He knew there was another solution. A better one, one he earnestly wanted. He shoved this uncomfortably thought away.

Jake pictured Ryan explaining to Nathan what she was planning on for her future. On some levels, Nathan couldn't complain. Nathan had impregnated his own wife twice before Haley had reached Ryan's current age. But logic didn't often go into Nathan's love for his baby sister.

Another Scott in the world, another passionate, beautiful women such as Ryan had become. Jake didn't know how he knew already that she would be a girl. He just knew.

He paused as he saw a woman and a man push a stroller down the sidewalk. They were drinking coffee and laughing. Jake smiled. People still had lives after they had children. He knew that Nathan and Haley were going to have another baby soon. They seemed all for it.

He didn't know when it happened. When he'd become jealous of Ryan's suitors in a more than big brotherly fashion. When he'd begun to let his eyes linger on her, even when she was in her pajamas. Even when they were on the couch together watching cartoons. When she'd begun to creep into his thoughts at all times. When she'd become everything to him.

Making the decision before he could process it, his feet turned and he ran up to the apartment.

* * *

Ryan stalled as she attempted to leave to go to the sperm bank, experimenting with different hair styles, hovering in her bedroom. She didn't want to go without his support. It bothered her more than she liked. 

She glanced down to the cluster of framed photographs on the desk. Some were family photographs, but the majority were of her and Jake. Her real family.

She picked up the picture of them at his graduation, and held it to her heart. They'd made out that night. In the picture he was wearing his robe, and she had been wearing a white dress, her long hair tied up. Even then, it hadn't been easy.

It had been easy once. The first years they'd lived togther, after the deaths of Karen and Keith, before the arrival of Haley. It had been perfect for so long, as much as she sometimes now forgot. But then hormones had had to get in the way. They'd finally given in to their natures, and gone farther than they'd meant to.

Ryan flashed to the time, on her old bed. She'd never wanted anything, including her desire of a family of her own family. The thought ashamed her. It consumed her.

She turned her head sharply toward the door as it banged open and running footsteps approached her.

"Jake?" she said in amazement.

"Don't do it. Don't, Ryan. You'll regret it. You don't want to do this alone," he said.

"But..."

"We'll do it. You and me. The three o'clock in the mornings, the screaming, I want it all with you," he promised fervently.

"I don't love you. I don't want to be with you, I told you that," she said, wavering.

"We already are together, Ry. What's ever been better than this?" he asked. She looked into his soft brown eyes, looking sweetly down at her.

"Nothing," she said. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in to her, close to her heart, where he'd always been.

"And nothing ever will be," he said.

"We can do this," she said, half to herself.

Jake kissed the top of her head. They could, and they would.

All he had to do was to stop falling in love with her.


	100. I'd Do Anything For You

Chapter One Hundred: I'd Do Anything For You

* * *

Author's note: CHAPTER NUMBER ONE HUNDRED! I'm sorry, I'm excited. Oh, and I started a C2 with Davis. Go check it out and wallow in its awesomeness. Then suscribe. Please.

* * *

Nathan smiled as Eve ran into the room and climbed onto his lap, in between his body and the desk. She settled comfortably on his knee and looked with interest at the spreadsheet open on the desktop.

"What're you doing, Daddy?" she asked. She swayed slightly and rested on his strong arm.

"It's for work. It's not that interesting. Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked, faux sternly.

"Nope," she said, giggling softly. He kissed her dark brown hair.

Neither noticed as Haley entered the room. She stood in the doorway for a moment, watching her husband and her daughter bond. She remembered the days that Nathan had had all the time in the world for her. When he'd loved her powerfully.

"Baby, what are you doing in here?" asked Haley. Both dark heads looked up in surprise.

"Daddy said he needed to show me something," said Eve, her eyes honest.

"Fibber. Get to it," said Haley. Eve slid reluctantly off her father's knee and ran out the door, her curls flying behind her. Haley moved to go after her, but paused when she saw Nathan still staring at the pair of them. She walked toward him.

"She came in here. I didn't…" said Nathan awkwardly.

"I know. She's a manipulative little thing," said Haley. Nathan smiled as she sat across his knees and linked her hands around his neck.

"Hey," he said softly. Leaning in toward him, she softly kissed his lips. Surprised at the rare initiation of intimacy, he took his hands from the computer to hold her around the waist. Nathan pulled her closer into him and opened his mouth. Haley's eyes fluttered closed as she welcomed the taste of his tongue and the feel off his hardness against her hip.

With one arm still clamped around her waist, holding her close, Nathan lifted his other hand to the buttons of her shirt, and began to unbutton them, his hand slipping in to touch her smooth skin as he did so. Haley let out a quiet moan as he reached her breast.

"Am I supposed to put myself to bed?" demanded Eve, coming into the room again, wrinkling her nose in disgust at her parents.

Nathan instantly loosened his hands and Haley moved hers to rebutton her shirt.

"Of course not. I'm coming baby," she said.

"I'm not a baby," said Eve. Nathan turned from his daughter, toward his wife.

"HELI!" he yelled over their conversation.

"No, it's okay, I'll go," said Haley, moving to slip off his lap. Nathan moved his hands to anchor her on his lap.

"You're not going anywhere," he said. She rolled her eyes and slipped between his hands, evading them as he reached for her.

"I'll be right back," she said, running after their daughter.

Haley checked on Nina before running back to Nathan in his study.

He looked up in surprise as she entered and sat down on his lap again. He put his arms around her as they began to kiss. They stood and he gripped her ass, lifting her into the air. The stumbled to the leather couch and fell on to it.

Haley smiled later, as they lay sprawled out on the couch. Her head was resting on his upper arm, his hand was roaming through her blonde hair.

"Heli's gone home, right?" she asked guiltily.

"God I hope so."

"She's a nice kid," said Haley.

"She's like your age, but she is. Eve seems to like her," said Nathan.

"Should I feel guilty about not being able to take care of my own kids?" she asked.

"Nothing wrong with needing help, baby."

Haley was silent for a moment.

"I haven't seen Ryan for a while," she said.

"I guess they're busy? I'm sort of surprised she hasn't been around, she is on holiday after all."

"Forever, if she opts for it. She's done school. She's a big girl now," said Haley wistfully.

"So, speaking of crazy unresolved love triangles, heard from Peyton?" he asked.

"I've barely spoken to her in years. Poor thing. I hope she's happy. She's been gone a year now," said Haley.

"The thing is, Jake will never be happy without Peyton, but he can't have Ryan if he has Peyton, and he needs Ryan. And Peyton loves Jake but Ryan does too, and Ryan is definitely more deserving."

"Logic doesn't come in to love very often," she said.

"If it had, I'd never have gotten you."

Once upon a time, Haley would have argued this. Argued that he hadn't won her out of love, but of something else entirely.

Now it wasn't worth it. She loved him, he loved her. Daily she had to remind herself that it was this that was most important.

"Tell me you love me," she said abruptly. Nathan remembered when she'd used his words for her own ends.

"I love you," he said.

Haley remained silent, but stirred slightly.

"Do you think you're pregnant?" he asked.

"Not yet. Maybe, I'm not sure. I'll take a test in a few days. Hopefully we'll get a boy, then we can have some of each and then stop," she said. Nathan silently pondered why she was so unwilling to go for her goal, but he said nothing.

"I'd like that. Lucas and me could teach him to play ball, and Nina and Eve would teach him how to deal with girls," said Nathan.

"Hmm. Maybe if Leigh and Ryan were older than you, you'd know how," joked Haley. He gently tickled the bare expanse of her chest and she squirmed in response.

"Minx," he said. He rolled on top of her and began to tickle her in earnest, reaching his hands up under her shirt. She screamed, giggling again.

"Nathan, stop. Nate, noo..." she said, laughing.

"Tell me you love me," he teased.

"I love you..."

"Uh, give me anything I want," he said, as his fingers sought the back of her neck and her thigh, enjoying her activity beneath him. She glared at him before laughing again.

"Anything," she promised. She slapped him across the arm as he got off her.

"Bastard. Male chauvenist."

"Hmm, wonder what I can get you to do? This might be fun," he said, winking. She blushed. "Sorry, am I harming your virgin ears? Was Seamus nicer to you than I am?"

"I wish you'd stop comparing yourself to him. Seamus was my Dean. Or my Riley," explained Haley.

"And I'm what, your Rhett?"

"Shut up. I'm going to bed," she said.

"Fine, spoil my fun. Let us away, Mrs. Scott," he said.

"Let's."

Haley linked her hand with Nathan's and sighed happily before exiting the room and heading up the stairs.


	101. If There's Anything to Say

Chapter One Hundred One: If There's Anything to Say

* * *

Author's note: Response has been depressingly low, but I'm hoping that this is because I deleted a chapter and the system thought you'd already reviewed, and not because I'm failing in my craft?

* * *

Ryan glanced sideways at Jake and subtly edged away from him. Ever since they'd made their agreement, they'd come no closer to fulfilling it. The tension was getting at both of them. Brief contact was torture.

As the taxi pulled up in front of Haley and Nathan's collosal townhouse, Jake jumped out to help out Ryan. Their hands touched and his nerves tingled in response. His dreams were filled with her.

Ryan used her key to gain access to the house, and they entered its unusually empty vastness. She easily slipped off her shoes and left them by the closet. She still acted as though she lived in this house, though she hadn't lived in it in years. Jake watched her bare feet dance on the cold marble, her red painted toenails.

"Come on. They just wanted us to water the plants, we can go home in a minute," he said nervously. She twirled around, her skirt flying.

"Please, I used to live here. We can do whatever we want," she said.

"This is my roommate's brother's place. I don't really feel comfortable doing whatever I want here," he said.

"We're in mansion full of alcohol and anything else we could possibly want. The owners are away and our apartment is tiny and hot. Can't you just feel the central air conditioning?" she said convincingly.

"No, they turned it off. Come on Ry," he said.

"Spoilsport. We're staying," she said staunchly, wandering off to the kitchen. He rolled his eyes but followed her.

* * *

"God, why did I ever move out?" wandered Ryan. She was sitting on the edge of the marble countertop, swining her legs against the cabinet, eating Rocky Road ice cream out of the box. 

"Because you hated it here. Nathan was depressed all the time and it was all dreary," he reminded her.

"Yeah. Then his true love came back and made everything all better. But I don't think I could handle living with Nina and Eve all the time, and Nathan and Haley and their rabbitness. Good thing I have you," she said.

"Definitely. Are you done? I kind of have an idea," he said slowly. She nodded agreeably and hopped off the counter.

* * *

"Now this is a good idea," said Ryan. 

Jake grinned at her and relaxed. They were in the hot-tub in the basement gym of Haley and Nathan's house, right by the indoor pool.

"Well, I'm just full of great ideas. But not as much as this. This is a nice house," he conceded.

"I kind of love it. Leigh and I used to search for secret passages. And on the second floor corridor there's all these portraits of the last few generations of Scotts, and once Nathan drew a mustache on our grandfather, and it was months before anyone noticed," she said, giggling.

"That sounds nice," he said.

"You guys have a bad impression of our lives. They were good. Nathan and Lucas weren't really angsty until that summer. We had fun. We were all close growing up, and my parents really loved each other," she said. He reached out to touch her hand. She gripped his hand and pulled herself in to him. She straddled his waist and leaned in to kiss him.

"Not here, babe," he muttered. He lifted her off of him before getting out and offering his hand to help her.

"What?" she asked in surprise.

"As in we have to find some place else. Come on," he said. She smiled to herself as they walked back upstairs.

* * *

They stopped on the main floor to eat and drink for a time before heading upstairs. He expected her to lead them to her old room, but she took a detour and he followed her. 

"This is Haley and Nathan's room," he observed, glancing around.

"Yeah. It's the best one. King sized bed, balcony," she said, pointing out the various favorable aspects of the vast room.

"Nice."

"Yeah. The bed is awesome. See?" she said. Only slightly influenced by alcohol, she climbed up on to the bed. He watched in amusement as she began to jump up and down on the bed, her hair bouncing around her.

He stared as she grinned and lit up the room in the way only she could. Her blue eyes danced. She shone.

She noticed in surprise as he climbed onto the bed and stood up. He snaked an arm around her waist and dropped down on to the bed with her pinned underneath him.

"Good bed," he remarked, before leaning down to kiss her.

She groaned as his lips trailed down her skin. In all her other sexual experiences, she'd been the guiding force. She'd slept with two boys who hadn't the faintest idea of what they were doing, and she'd led them to what she'd thought would please her. Jake needed no instruction. He was an experienced, tender, passionate lover. The only one she ever wanted.

His lips found hers again, and his tongue slipped in to her mouth. She withdrew her hand from his hair to work the buttons on shirt. After she'd unbuttoned them he ripped off her own, not troubled with such time wasting procedures. She giggled before he kissed her again, drowning out all conscious thought.

Jake's fingers sought the zipper off her jeans before his lips travelled fully down her body. She trembled in anticipation as his tongue sought her pleasure point.

Her body began to shiver, waves of pleasure building inside her, desperate for release. She sunk her nails into his shoulders.

"Oh sweet Jesus... Jake..." she moaned.

Reminding himself that no protection was needed, Jake was unable to hold off any longer. He slowly slid inside of her, taking care to not hurt her. When she'd relaxed, he slowly began to move in and out. He shut his eyes tightly, not ever remembering such an intense pleasure. Ryan linked an arm around his neck to pull him in closer to her, and he thrust deeper inside of her.

Finally he withdrew and looked down at her. Her eyes had been closed, but she opened them as she sensed his stare on her. Her eyes met his, and she looked almost frightened for a moment, frightened he'd see beyond her lies.

"It would never work," she eventually whispered.

"Yeah." Jake paused for a long time. "I know."

* * *

Halfway through the night, Jake looked over to see her on the other side of the bed, her back to him. He rolled over to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her, deciding that just this once, he had the right. He kissed the nap of her neck. 

"I love you," he whispered, not knowing himself if he meant platonically or otherwise.


	102. The Sound of Settling

Chapter One Hundred Two: The Sound of Settling

Nathan paced nervously outside the closed bathroom door and checked his watch for what seemed like the thousandth time in three minutes.

He raised his eyebrows expectantly as Haley came slowly out of the door.

"Positive," she said happily, after a moment. He grinned and she launched herself in to his arms. He lifted her off the ground and she seuqaled in delight.

"I love you," she said happily.

"You too. I'll call Deb and tell her I'm taking the day off," said Nathan.

"Why, so we can have sex all day? Babe, as appealing as that sounds, we kind of have responsibilities. I was planning on giving Heli the day off and hanging out with Nina and Eve," she explained. He sighed dramatically.

"Fine. I'll ravish you later, if I have to. That being the case, I have to go. See you later," he said, swiftly kissing her lips before departing.

* * *

Haley was making pancakes with Eve and Nina in the kitchen, thinking of baby names, when the doorbell rang. She ran to answer it, disregarding the short apron she wore over her jeans, her messily tied back her. 

"Seamus?" she said in amazement. He looked cautiously at her, as though half expecting to have the door slammed in his face.

"Hey," he said.

Haley launched herself in to his arms, mentally erasing the last time she'd seen him, remembering the good times.

"God, Seamus! What are you doing here? Come in, meet Nina, have pancakes!" she said. Seamus raised his eyebrows, surprised by her exuberance.

"Uh, great. I actually wanted to... talk," he said, watching after her as she ran down the hall, beckoning for him to follow.

Haley smiled as Seamus easily took Nina in to his arms. Nina, not much bothered by the stranger's arms, settled down with a small sigh of contentment.

"She's beautiful. She looks exactly like you," he said.

"Yeah, and Evie is Nathan all over again," she said, smiling.

"They're both gorgeous. You look great, too," he said.

"You too. Why'd you decide to come visit?" asked Haley.

"After last time I worried I wouldn't be so welcome. But uh, I ran in to your big sister," he said slowly.

Haley's face went immediately white.

"God, Taylor? She told you, didn't she," murmured Haley in disbelief.

"Yeah. 'Fraid so. You said you loved him, Haley."

"I do. So much, I swear to you. It broke my heart to leave you, but I had to," said Haley. Seamus smiled, knowing this to be a partial untruth.

"You didn't. You could have asked me, I'd help you, even without the interesting collateral," he said.

"What? You were a student, like me. You didn't have money."

"Yeah, but my parents did. And my grandmother set me up with a trust fund when she died. You knew that. You could have stayed," said Seamus.

Haley stared up at him, her face emotionless. Her hand dropped down onto Eve's head when she approached, and she ruffled through her curls.

"I'd have married you, Seamus. I'd have never spoken to Nathan again. You'd never have met..." Haley blushed as she searched for the name of his one time significant other. He smiled.

"Amanda. We're engaged now. And yeah, I know. It's kind of mind boggling," he said.

"Kind of," echoed Haley. She flipped a pancake as it began to burn, and watched her daughter sleep in her ex's arms.  
_

* * *

Dream Sequence_

"_Haley!" came a voice. Haley slowly walked toward the front door._

"_Hey Luke," she said tiredly. He wrapped an arm around her before tilting her chin upward to look into her brown eyes._

"_You okay?"_

_She nodded quickly before kneeling down to converse with his eldest, four year old Devon. _

_Haley quickly hugged three year old Hayden before rising again to smile at Lucas. He was frowning._

"_She's been gone six months now," he said bitterly. She touched a hand to his cheek, wondering how she'd become so involved in their complicated lives. Wondering, as she always wodnered, how Brooke could have possibly left her loving husband and two beautiful children._

"_I know. Do you want me to watch them for the day?" she asked kindly._

"_No, I just wanted to stop by and say hey. I'll call you later," he said, taking his sons one on each hand before departing._

_Haley watched them go sadly. It was only nine and already she'd run out of things to do._

_Glancing down guiltily at her ring finger, she grabbed her purse and walked quickly out of the house._

"_Hales," said Nathan upon answering the door, sounding unsurprised yet glad to see her._

"_Is Davis around?" asked Haley, glancing around nervously for his wife._

"_No, she's in Malibu with a girlfriend. Come in," he said, beckoning._

_Haley followed him inside. They ended up in his living room._

"_So my sister's getting married next week..."_

"_I know, to Jake. I'm invited, do you want to ignore each other?" she asked. He sighed._

"_Fine. Will Seamus be there?" he asked._

"_Yes, actually. You know you don't have the right to be jealous," she said accusingly._

"_Don't I?" asked Nathan, raising an eyebrow._

"_No, you don't. You're my lover, not my husband. And..."_

_Haley's words stopped abruptly as Nathan cut her off with a kiss. She moaned into his mouth and wrapped her legs around him as he lifted her into the air._

_They fell on to a sofa, kissing feverishly. Haley slid out of her shirt, responding to Nathan's touch as she never did to Seamus'. _

"_Fuck me, Nate," she murmured in to his ear. Ideally, Nathan wished he could resist her. Turn her away, stay faithful to his wife. He couldn't. It was impossible._

_He admired her naked form for a moment before going down on her, making her come alive with his touch. He smiled in satisfaction as he plunged inside of her and heard her scream out his name. His, not anyone elses. Ever._

_As soon as they were done, Haley redressed and left hurriedly._

"_Haley, you're home," said Seamus once she'd stepped through the door, kissing her lightly. She smiled._

"_Hey. How was your day?" she asked weakly._

"_Great, yours? Did you see Lucas and the boys?" he asked._

"_Yeah."_

"_I wonder if there is anything that could have made Brooke stay," said Seamus thoughtfully. Haley shrugged._

"_I doubt it. She didn't really love him, I guess," said Haley, looking intently at her husband. _

"_Guess not. Uh, it's Jake's wedding next week..."_

"_I know, he's marrying Ryan. I'm happy for them,"_

"_Me too. Nathan's going to be there," he said carefully._

"_I kind of figured. We have gotten pretty good at avoiding each other," she said._

"_Are you sure you don't want..."_

_Haley cut him off._

"_Yes. It's not the kind of thing I'd forgive."_

_Seamus sighed as he watched his wife walk away, imagining he knew better.

* * *

A week later, Haley stared at the back of Nathan's head as his sister was joined with Jake Jagielski in holy matrimony._

"_And do you, Jake, take Ryan to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asked the aged officiator. Haley glanced sideways at Seamus, remembering their own wedding, when she'd felt too pressured by his support of Taylor to say no._

"_Yes," she said happily, gazing happily into his eyes._

_Haley's gaze shifted temporarily to the two of them as they were procclaimed man and wife, and kissed. _

_Nathan intercepted her as she moved toward the ladies room after the ceremony. He grabbed her upper arm and pulled her away from the crowd._

"_That should have been us," he said, as she pulled off his jacket. She stopped abruptly and looked up at him, her sadness leakign through to her eyes._

"_That never could have been us."_

_Running, she went to find her husband. Nathan watched as she disappeared, her white dress making her look like an angel with the light reflected off of it._

_Seamus watched in admiration as his wife approached their bed, clad in pajama pants and a camisole. She lookd beautiful always to him._

"_I didn't see you after the ceremony," he said lightly._

"_Yeah. Sorry, I ran in to an old friend," she said._

"_That's alright. I chatted to Davis for a while," he said. Haley rolled over, to face the opposite direction, wishing that this remark could still warrant a reaction from her. _

_But it didn't, of course. Nothing could. Nothing could get past her exterior anymore. The years had been too much for her, the years of longing and unfulfilled desire. Haley was beyond fear, or hate, or pain. Beyond even love. They didn't affect her any more._

_Her body stiffened as Seamus rolled over and began to touch her. She braced her body for him, ready for whatever was to come._

* * *

Haley sat straight up in bed as she awoke, and let out a gasp of alarm, surprised to see her familiar, vast bedroom, surprised to feel Nathan's comforting body pressed up to hers. 

"Haley?" he murmured.

"Nathan," she said in disbelief.

"What's wrong?"

"I had a dream. The most vivid I've ever had," she said in amazement. He smirked, his eyes staying closed.

"Oh yeah? Was I in it?" he asked knowingly.

"Yes. But not like that. I was married to Seamus," she said.

"Because he came over here today, probably. Who was I?"

"My lover," she said softly.

"I'm liking the sound of that."

"It was awful. I was so empty. Nothing was in my life worth living for," she said. He half rose, his eyes finally opening.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. It woke me up to how very un-sorry I am, about how things turned out," she murmured, rolling closer to him.


	103. When the Sun Shines Again

Chapter One Hundred and Three: When The Sun Shines Again

When Lucas was still sleeping, Brooke slowly got out of bed. She used the shower and had gotten changed before he'd even stirred, and within an hour she'd awoken Devon and Hayden and was feeding them breakfast. She even had time to make a gloating call to Haley before Lucas awoke.

Stretching out in their wide bed, he was surprised not to collide with his wife. Though they had been growing apart, one of his solitary consolations was that they still shared a bed. It was something he liked to remind himself of when he felt like he was losing her.

Pulling a hooded sweatshirt over his bare chest and not bothering to change his boxers, Lucas ran downstairs, following the sounds of his sons. He found the three of them in the kitchen. He noticed immediately that Brooke was wearing designer jeans and a new shirt instead of her usual morning outfit of her bathrobe and slippers.

"Where are you going?" asked Lucas, attempting to sound amicable.

"Huh?" she asked, attempting to coerce five year old Devon into eating his breakfast.

"You're all dressed up. You going out with Haley?" he asked.

"No, just… out," she said vaguely.

"Ah."

"What?"

Lucas stared at her for a second. In some ways she was the exact same girl he'd fallen for, in others she was completely different.

"Meeting anyone?"

"Why don't you tell me, because it seems like you're more well informed than I am," she said suspiciously. Lucas made a jerking gesture with his neck and Devon ran from the room to join his little brother.

"Maybe to see a guy? Maybe Chris Kellar?" he asked. Brooke, in her astonishment, was unable to appear ignorant. Her face betrayed her instantly.

"How did you _know_?" she demanded.

"I found out by accident. Months ago. Why don't we talk anymore?" he asked. "Why do you need him? Why haven't I ever been enough for you?"

"He gets me," she said simply.

"I know you, Brooke. I've lived with you for years. Why can't you ever believe that?"

"Because. You didn't marry me because you loved me."

Brooke ran from the room. And Lucas didn't so much as lift a finger to stop her.

* * *

Chris Kellar raised his eyebrows in confusion as the brunette jumped out of the taxi and in to his arms, sobbing wildly. 

"Did uh, something happen?" he asked hesitantly, leading her to a park bench.

"We can't make it work anymore," she said pitifully. He looked down into her pretty, tear streaked face, her shining hazel eyes.

"You could, if you really wanted to," he said.

"Yeah, like you and Haley did?"

Chris fell silent for a moment.

"I've yet to meet someone who could really come between Nathan and Haley," he slowly admitted.

"There's only one," said Brooke, laughing. "Haley."

Chris laughed appreciatively. If she didn't have two kids and a perfect Manhattan life, it might almost be worth it to screw around with her again. He'd never met a woman quite like Haley.

"We weren't even that close in high school. I don't even like you that much," said Brooke tearfully. He slung an arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

"You don't really like Lucas, either. He bugs you," said Chris.

Brooke fell silent, contemplating this.

"The two emotions don't go hand in hand."

"Like and love?"

Brooke stared down at her hands. Her mind flashed to her two beautiful boys, to her extended family, to everyone she cared about. Everyone who would be horrified if they'd known what she was doing right then. Brooke was a little horrified all by herself. Who on Earth would cheat on Lucas, one of the New York Scotts, with Chris Keller, the scrawny indie musician? It made no sense.

Not that she'd cheated.

As this thought passed through her mind, she was suddenly quite sure that he was going to kiss her. The much more startling revelation was that she was equally certain she wanted him to.

As Chris' lips descended toward hers, Brooke reminded herself that this was what she wanted. That Lucas and her weren't going to work out.

Their lips met. Wetly. He awkwardly slipped his tongue in to her mouth. Hesitantly she wrapped her arms around him and attempted to fit her face and neck in to his.

"Wow." Brooke pulled away. He was looking expectantly down at her. "Haley put up with that for all of high school?"

She pulled out of his arms.

"This was a mistake, Chris. Stay out of our lives," she said.

He watched in surprise as she began to run down the path toward the street. Even as it began to rain, she ignored the taxis and ran home.

Home to Lucas.

* * *

"LUKE?" she called into the large, alarmingly empty house. She held her breath until the familiar slow footsteps began their way down the stairs. 

He stared at her a moment, his light blue eyes stern.

"I was kind of thinking you wouldn't come back," he said.

"I'll always come back. God, he kissed me. Just now, like thirty seconds ago. I didn't kiss back, I promise. It was _awful. _I'm so sorry. I _love _you. I _always_ have. He's nothing to me. I never slept with him. He wasn't even worth our time to begin with. We need to make this work," she said. Slowly he walked toward her.

"Why?"

"Because I can't live without you, you idiot."

Suddenly and without warning he swooped down and captured her lips in his. He ran a hand through her wet hair, inhaling her familiar scent as she curved her body in to his and deepened their kiss.

As she wrapped her arms around his neck, he put his arm behind her legs and swept her into his arms. Once they'd stumbled into their bed, she broke away and looked back into his eyes, wide with anticipation.

"Let's make a baby," she murmured, kissing him again.


	104. Something In My Heart

Chapter One Hundred Four: Something In My Heart

"So."

Jake glanced sideways at Ryan, and then back toward the oak front door.

"You going to knock?"

Ryan looked at him with wide, pannicked eyes.

"Hell no."

"You used to live here," he reminded her.

"So technically we should be able to just go in," he said.

"Yeah. Technically."

"So that's going to happen..."

"Any time now," she said confidently.

* * *

Ryan pasted on a smile as Nathan walked in and lifted her off the ground in his hug. Even when they were twenty-two and twenty-nine, he still regarded her as a child. 

"Ryan, how are you?" asked Haley, rushing over to give her a hug. Ryan gratefully hugged her sister, comforted by her embrace.

"Remind me again why it had to be today?" she murmured to Jake as they walked behind Haley and Nathan.

"Because you're three months in. You're going to start showing soon and it'd probably be good if they knew before then," muttered Jake.

"Right."

Jake took Ryan's hand as they sat down. Haley noticed the gesture and raised an eyebrow, but Nathan was oblivious. She smiled as he pulled her down on to his lap, and they looked expectantly at the two.

"What's up guys?" asked Haley eventually.

Ryan and Jake exchanged glasses. Haley and Jake had grown up as best friend, but now their relationship was infinitely different, as she was married to his lover's father figure.

"We have something to tell you," said Jake bravely. Ryan smiled softly at him before continuing.

"I'm pregnant."

Nathan's eyes widened in shock as his face tinged slightly red. Haley on his lap attempted to calm him for a moment, and stopped him from leaping off the sofa and strangling Jake.

"With his? How'd that happen?" he demanded.

"In the usual way," admitted Ryan, looking down.

"God, what'd I tell you? About being careful?" he demanded. She glanced back up, her eyes flashing. Jake noticed with surprise how incredibly similar they looked.

"Like you're one to talk," she quipped. Nathan's gaze fell on his wife's already rounded figure.

"We're married," he said.

"Nate, in my defense, this didn't just happen. This is something we both decided we wanted. I'll be around. I'm not going anywhere," said Jake.

"What, you're going to ride off my baby sister's coattails for the rest of your life?" asked Nathan angrily. Haley put a hand on his shoulder.

"That's not what I said."

Nathan rolled his eyes in disbelief.

"Babe, calm down. Ryan's my age," she reminded him reproachfully.

"It's different," he said stubbornly.

"Oh?" asked Haley, raising an eyebrow and surpressing a smile.

"Yes, it is. We're married," he reminded her.

"I'm aware. I was there. But it doesn't matter. They've lived together for longer than we have, some would even say their relationship is more functional. So we really have nothing to complain about. Congratulations, guys," she said.

Ryan smiled covertly at her sister-in-law, who winked.

"All I can say... is that it's a good thing you have the missus on your side. Good luck with all of it. I'm happy for you," he managed to say. Jake grinned.

"We are too," he said. Nathan lifted Haley off of his lap, who crossed the room to sit by Ryan. Nathan and Jake met in the middle of the room and awkwardly hugged. Jake remembered when they'd been closest, when Nathan had been alone, taking care of Leigh and Ryan. A lifetime ago.

Ryan and Jake slowly walked around the block to Brooke and Lucas' house. She took several deep breaths as they walked, as though still trying to come to terms with the scenario at Nathan and Haley's.

"That went well," said Jake eventually, unnerved by the interminable silence.

"Yeah. Eventually. They're in a good phase again," she said.

"I hope it last."

Ryan nodded silently. She hoped theirs would last, too.

* * *

"Get a room," said Jake teasingly, once they'd entered to find Brooke and Lucas making out on the sofa. Ryan was surprisingly endeared by the sight. It had been a long time. 

"You guys have been married a zillion years, you think you'd be tired of it by now," said Ryan, dropping down into an armchair. Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Five years, actually. Five years today," she said scathingly.

"Already? Congratulations, you guys. We have news, too," said Ryan bravely. Brooke smiled expectantly, and Ryan was infinitely gratified.

"I'm pregnant," she said at last. Brooke squealed and jumped up from the sofa to hug her.

"Oh, me too! This is just too cute, Haley is too. Oh, I'm so happy for you two!" she said.

"It was something we both wanted to do. We're not together," said Jake quickly, as he shook Lucas' hand. Brooke nodded, not much bothered. She was more confident than she'd ever been that the two of them would end up together.

Lucas smiled as he took his little sister in his arms. For so long, none of them had had much cause to be happy. Now they all were.

Brooke leaned in to Lucas and put an arm around him.

"This is so cool. It's like a trend now, how 2006 of us. Watch us all have the babies on the same day," she said, giggling. Ryan raised an eyebrow.

"You should have seen Nathan. He looked like he was going to rip my head off," said Jake.

"I think Nathan thinks you're still seven," said Lucas, directing his comment at Ryan.

Ryan stared at Brooke and Lucas as they all laughed.

"So are you guys actually good now, or is it just another pretend good?" she asked cautiously.

"It's an actual good. We discussed our issues. We worked them out," said Lucas. Brooke smiled.

"It's better than good," said Brooke softly, her hazel eyes twinkling.

Jake, influenced by their obvious bliss, slid an arm around Ryan. She sighed happily. For years, all of this had seemed completely unatainable. Suddenly she was sure they could make it work, could make it forever. There was nothing in their way. She knew she mattered more to him than anyone.

They linked hands as they left Brooke and Lucas' house.

"You know, you kissed me once, before we were ever lovers," she admitted.

"I know. I remember," he said, glancing down at her.

"No you don't. You were drunk."

"I'd just come back from finding Peyton with Christian. I remember the next morning, I just thought you'd regretted it, because you never mentioned it," he said.

Ryan laughed appreciatively. Her smiled remained as they flagged down a taxi and rode to their apartment. As they walked up the stairs together and made dinner, and watched the lame eighties movie on TV.

She only frowned when they went to bed and he vanished into his own bed, seperate from her.


	105. Your Love Is Gonna Drown

Chapter One Hundred Five: Your Love is Going to Drown

The sun slowly sank into the sea, making it difficult to capture the moment as she so desperately wanted to. The view in front of her included a high, rocky cliff descending into a low, clear blue sea, but this was not the inspiration she craved.

She relaxed as two sinewy, tanned arms wound around her.

"Who is she?" he asked, in his seductive Italian accent.

"Ryan Scott," murmured Peyton, sliding her eyes shut as his lips moved to her neck.

"She's lovely."

Her lover Diego, who reaked of Euro charm and sex appeal, didn't pay much further mind to the portrait, but Peyton's attentions were fast on it.

"She's in love with an old lover of mine," said Peyton thoughtfully, thinking of how tame this description was compared to the actual truth.

"Are they lovers now?" he asked.

"No. I don't think so. She deserves it," said Peyton.

"More than you, bella?" he asked.

"Much more. She's a better person than I ever was," she said softly.

"How so?"

"Ryan was better than all of us. Nathan tricked Haley into marrying him, Brooke secretly saw Chris, but Ryan was always good. She tried so hard to be good, to not ruin anyone's life, even at the expense of her own."

Peyton stared at the girl's face. Though some had begun to fade in her memory, Ryan's face was imprinted as though she'd last seen it yesterday. Her ocean blue eyes, the light dusting of freckles across her nose, her long blonde hair tied back into a loose knot on the back of her head.

"Were you friends?" he asked, his interest gradually deepening.

"No. Not ever, really. I think I always suspected she loved Jake, and I think she was always jealous. I've just been involved in her life for so long. Five years now, I guess. Both of my best friends are married to her brothers, it's only fitting that she marry him," said Peyton.

"You'd know, yes? You'd have heard, if they were to get married?"

"Maybe, in a tabloid somewhere. But I haven't talked to any of them," she said.

"For how long has it been?" Peyton detached herself from the arms of her lover and walked off several paces. She stared down into the ocean.

"Forever."

* * *

Peyton's face was animated as she ran to join her friends. Her boyfriend, Diego, his brother, Paolo, his own girlfriend, Isabel and their other friend Jeanne were waiting for her. She walked alongside Diego as he looped an arm around her and attempted to follow the fast, heavily accent English which mingled occasionally with Italian and French. 

She felt European. She didn't feel like Peyton Sawyer from Tree Hill, blonde cheerleader, or Peyton Sawyer of Manhattan, Jake's girlfriend. She felt freer, yet so bound. In her knee length black dress and stiletto sandles she attracted more attention than she had in her cheerleading uniform.

"Why so sad, cherie?" asked Jeanne, her words already slightly slurred by alcohol. Peyton smiled and shook it off, quickly downing a shot. She wondered what the rest of them would think, could they see her now. For an instant she wanted Haley, to guide her back home.

In the next instant, she felt a wave of longing for Davis.

She grabbed Diego's hand and dragged him to the dance floor. Their bodies pressed up together as they moved to the music, and she felt him desire her as her lips sought his.

"This is the life," he murmured in to her ear. Peyton smiled. Not many men had truly loved her in her life. He was still something of a novelty.

"There's no comparison," she said aloud, letting her words be heard. There really wasn't. This was her, in Italy, living the life.

One day, she knew she'd return. Return to her life, reclaim her love. Jake had kissed her on her last day, and begged her to stay with him. Peyton guiltily thought of attempting to hook Ryan up with someone else. After all, the girl did deserve happiness. She tried to push back the uncomfortable thought that Ryan could never be happy without Jake, and that Jake could never be complete without Ryan.

The next morning, after Diego went to work, Peyton failed miserably at attempting to do some work of her own and then went to the corner store.

She paused at the rack of tabloids. Her eyes scanned them, both English and Italian, before one caught her eye.

She let out a gasp of surprise when she finally recognized the two figures on the cover. The only two women she'd ever been close to, walking down a street together. Haley and Brooke Scott, carrying shopping bags, both slightly pregnant.

Peyton sighed. She should have been in the picture. Beside them, maybe married as well. Maybe beautiful and ridiculously fertile looking, glowing, like they were. It was hard for to grasp, the concept of Brooke, her eyes shining, her cheeks flushed, her diamond twinkling on her finger. Of Haley, finally finding happiness, looking like the perfect example of a society wife. Sometimes life was just unfair.

She thumbed through the magazine until she found a picture of Davis, partying in LA. Somehow this was much more comforting, knowing that nothing had changed with some things.

In the middle of the magazine were picture of Nathan, Brooke, Devon and Hayden and of Haley, Nathan, Eva and Nina. She smiled at the images of her friend's children. All four were beautiful, especially Haley and Nathan's girls, which were carbon copies of the two of them.

The clerk said something in Italian, something Peyton was fairly sure meant something along the lines of "will you be buying that, miss?". So she nodded hurriedly and dropped some money on the counter before walking out.

She'd tried so hard to let them go. She'd tried to vanish out of ther lives to stop hurting them, to let them vanish out of her own in turn. She'd imagined it would be easier on all of them. She'd never imagined she'd never be able to let go, that a part of her would always belong to all of them, and especially to him.


	106. Never Been Better Than This

Chapter One Hundred Six: Never Been Better Than This

"You know Brooke and Haley made a tabloid? Damn, I'm glad I stayed home that day," said Ryan, bouncing on to Jake's bed early one morning.

"What are you doing awake? And bouncing? Pregnant women aren't supposed to bounce," he said tiredly.

"I know, I know. Wake up, I have an appointment," she said eagerly.

"Of course you do. Go make me coffee, woman," he said. She giggled and slapped him before yanking his hand and pulling him out of the bed.

"Heaven forbid we have a boy..." she muttered, as he followed her out of the room.

"Nope. I've got a feeling it's a girl," he said confidentally.

* * *

"It's a girl," said the doctor, beaming at the image of their baby on the screen. 

"Thank you," whispered Ryan, as the doctor quietly left the room. Jake went down on his knees by the head of her bed and gently took her hand in his.

"I think she's got your eyes," he joked. This was all it took Ryan to burst into tears, which she promptly did.

"We made that, Jake. You and me, we did that," she said, looking at the form on the screen which was barely beginning to appear human.

"Yeah we did," he replied, smiling. She looked sideways at him. He looked so happy, even if he had just signed his life away to her, and to them. He wasn't afraid, as she was.

He looked at her and met her gaze. Slowly he leaned in, hid hand moving in to cup her cheek as he did so. As he reached her their lips fused together. She let all of her priorites go and kissed longingly.

After another moment she pulled away, detaching his warm hand from her skin. Immediately she felt the loss, but did not show it.

"Lots of hormones," she murmured.

"It's not more than that?" he asked under his breath. She heard him and pretended that she had not.

Ryan stared at the sonogram on the cab ride home, attempting to distinguish the various limbs of her daughter. Her daughter. She was going to be someone's mother. And he, the most stable person she knew, the only constant in her life, was going to be someone's father.

That much at least was easy to comprehend.

* * *

After a dinner at Brooke and Lucas' in which she, Brooke and Haley compared sonograms, the boys swapped stories about the girl's pregnancies and the four children ran around, barely restrained for once, Jake and Ryan returned to their apartment. 

"It's small. We might have to move, get an uber mansion like the rest of them," she said, sounding sad despite her words.

"Maybe. We'll figure something out," he said shortly, departing to his bedroom.

Ryan stared after him as his door slammed shut. She couldn't figure him out. They'd lived together for years, he'd been her lover, he knew her more than anyone, and she couldn't figure out the complexities of his heart.

Hours later she lay in her bed, staring up at the peeling white ceiling. This wasn't the life she'd been raised for. She'd been raised for palatial mansions, summer homes, a young marriage to a man of impeccable manners and good social standing. Not the two bedroom apartment and an illegitimate child on the way. Not hopelessly in love with a man who could never love her in the same way.

Jake stared at her as she arrived in his doorway, the sleeping shirt she wore that had once belonged to him loosely fitting over her curves and her slightly rounded figure.

"I couldn't sleep," she whispered, like a child seeking solace.

He smiled and beckoned to her. Immediately she ran to the bed and got in beside him.

"This is better," she murmured. She waited another moment. "The baby can take my room."

* * *

"Get up, I'm making us pancakes," said Jake abruptly, coming in to his bedroom to find her sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands on her stomach. 

"Jakey, come here," she ordered.

"What's up?" he asked in concern, sitting down beside her.

"This," she murmured, grabbing his hand and placing it flat on her bare stomach. She was wearing boxers under her sleeping shirt but nothing else. He forced himself not to concentrate on this.

He jumped slightly as he felt a slight pressure under his hand. Her hand joined his.

"It's the baby. She's kicking," said Ryan. He grinned.

"A fighter. Or a soccer player. Definitely a Scott woman," he said, kissing her forehead and pulling her in closer to him.

"We're a rare breed."

Jake grinned as he felt another kick against the palm of his hand.

"Did you ever wish for this with Peyton?" Ryan was instantly surprised by the anger in his eyes.

"For God's sakes Ry. Stop bringing her in to this. I don't want her anymore," he said angrily. She was surprised by the measure of authority and disbelief in his voice.

"Do you want me?" she whispered.

He stood up and stared at her. She blushed under his scrutinizing gaze.

"Take off your shirt."

"What?"

"Take it off."

"But..." He raised an eyebrow at her and she compiled, feeling bloated and round and altogether unappealing.

"Now the shorts."

Ryan blushingly crossed her arms and legs once she was naked in front of him, though she had been many times before.

"Will it hurt the baby?" She silently shook her head, prompting him to push her down onto the bed and climb on top of her.

In the other times, she had been the driving force. Her intense desire of him had turned him on and sparked his own. She'd never really known the depth of his want for her. He showed her. Showed her in his kiss, his touch, showed her as he entered her. Finally she knew how desperately he wanted him, how a part of him couldn't live without her.

They spooned together after they finished. He cupped her breast in his hand and she didn't attempt to stop it.

"Definitely the last time," she murmured, knowing and hoping it was a lie.

He sighed, looking pained, though she didn't see it.

"Definitely."


	107. Aimlessly Wandering

Chapter One-Hundred Seven: Aimlessly Wandering

Nathan sighed as he wandered into the dark kitchen, surprised by how much he was missing the usual activity of his home. He paused in front of the refrigerator and admired the most recent additions: apparently Haley and the girls had been finger painting.

His hand passed by the small stack of plastic dishes belonging to his daughters while he reached for a glass. Some days it was hard to believe that he was about to be the father of three. That Haley James, of all people, had actually carried his children. He smiled at the front cover of US Weekly, which had been torn off the magazine and stuck onto the fridge along with the various art projects. Haley had pretended to hate the picture of her and Brooke, on their way home from a shopping trip, a glaring headline announcing their respective conditions. But he could tell that she took a secret thrill from it.

Nathan walked eagerly to the door as he heard a knock, hoping it was someone he wanted to see and not a solicitor or the paparazzi.

"Luke," he said, opening the door further and inviting his brother in when he saw him on the stoop.

"Hey Nate. Brooke kicked me out, can I crash here for a while?" asked Lucas, walking in.

"Sure. What happened?"

"I offended her by putting away the dishes wrong, I think. It's hard to tell when she really gets in to it," explained Lucas. Nathan smiled.

"Pregnant women. Got to love them."

"She's lucky I do. Where's Haley?"

"Oh, she took the girls to Tree Hill," said Nathan.

"And you weren't invited? That's harsh, man."

"You know I thought I'd enjoy the silence for once," said Nathan.

"Really? To be honest I think it's kind of disturbing," he replied.

Nathan looked around the empty hall.

"Yeah. Me too."

* * *

Nathan changed the channel again and again as he and Lucas lounged around in front of the TV, exhausted by the basketball game they'd played and the steaks they'd made for dinner. He paused, amused, as he passed a channel featuring an older man holding a slimy, wet fish proudly. 

"Remember when Dad used to take us fishing? I don't think I ever caught one," said Lucas, laughing. Nathan looked at him for a second, startled.

"Keith did. Yeah. Not..." Nathan trailed off, and Lucas remember with surprise the father he'd never known.

Lucas frowned. It had always been like this. Since Nathan had been a small child, he'd refused to let in his stepfather. He did it still through his memory.

"Keith. Always Keith. Why couldn't you have called him Dad?" asked Lucas. Nathan's thoughts drifted to the man he'd referred to as his father.

"Calling him my father wouldn't have represented love, or honour, or pride. It would have been mean, Luke. It would have been calling him the name of the one person in my life I've ever truly hated."

Lucas was silent, watching the informercial they'd flipped to.

"Do you think he would have seen it as that?" asked Lucas quietly. Nathan sighed.

"No. But he knew."

For a moment, Lucas pondered his brother's words and tried to reconcile himself with them. Then he shook his head.

"No. Man, that's not how it is and you know it. I know, I've thought about it a lot. Every day for months, before Devon was born. I wondered if he'd see as my father, or rever Mouth as the guy who never got the chance to let him down. His mother's first love. His mother's true love. You were scared to let Keith in, and you didn't trust Mom's judgement. I know you, Nathan. Don't pull this shit."

"You are Devon's father," said Nathan, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Yeah. But when he was inside Brooke, when we were first married, I definitely wasn't. And if Haley had a kid from someone else-"

"Haley's never been with anyone else," said Nathan gruffly.

"I know that, it's not even about that. But if she did, would you want it to call you Dad? Or ignore you? A child from the woman you loved, a child you'd feel a bond with from the day of its birth, and you'd be okay with it treating you like crap because it's real father was an asshole?"

"I don't blame Mom. I forgave her a long time ago," said Nathan softly.

"I know. She knew that, too. She knew you loved Keith. But she always wished we could have been a family."

For a moment, Nathan didn't bother to argue this. It was true. If it had been a "real" family, the two of them wouldn't have left at eighteen to live by themselves. They wouldn't have abandoned their parents, their sisters and the company that provided them the money for their extravagent lifestyles.

"I think that's why we both married young. I think we needed to make amends," said Nathan.

"I think I got married young because Brooke is the love of my life," said Lucas reproachfully.

"Yeah. You go home, do your thing," said Nathan, smiling a slightly cynical smile. Lucas nodded and left, leaving behind the brother who so rarely let him in.

* * *

"Brooke?" called out Lucas experimentally, hoping she was back to her normal, albeit not very high, level of sanity. 

"Lucas! Where the hell were you? Leave me all alone with two children under five why don't you!" she said angrily, as he came in the door.

"Brooke, you kicked me out. You told me to leave," he reminded her.

"Have you learned nothing, Lucas Scott? Where did you go?" she asked.

"Nathan's. We talked. It was nice." He tilted her chin upward and brushed a kiss on her lips.

"What was that for?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing. Everything. I'm glad I have a family with you," he said, looking intently into her hazel eyes, hoping she knew how much he loved her, how much he wanted everything to be all right between them. "Pretty girl."

Brooke smiled happily at him for a moment before abruptly bursting in to tears. He rolled his eyes before gathering in his arms. Sometimes, pregnant women were a bit much for him to handle.


	108. You Don't Know the Greatness You Are

One Hundred Eight: You Don't Know the Greatness You Are

* * *

Author's note: My friend Ange, (anarchist287) just wrote on of the bestest, in depth oneshots I've ever seen. It's actually one of two, which are centred around Dan and Karen. This pairing might sound sucky to you but I PROMISE it'll make you see them in a new light. Go check out "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted".

* * *

"I am never, _ever_ having another child," announced Brooke as she waddled in to the living room of Haley and Nathan's house. Haley, who was sitting on the sofa beside and equally pregnant Ryan, giggled. 

"Do you want to know how many times I've heard you say that?" asked Haley.

"No," said Brooke defensively, lowering herself onto the sofa opposite them.

"Just yesterday you were talking about how this baby was going to be so lucky because you and Luke are finally at the right point in your lives for it," reminded Ryan. Brooke glared at her sister-in-law, round and glowing on the couch.

"I don't recall asking you, Miss Scott. You'll see, in like a week when it comes out of you. You'll all see," said Brooke ominously. Haley rolled her eyes.

"True. We will all see, in fact we'll see in freakishly linked times. But Brooke, I've done it all before, and so have you. So quite your whining," she said.

* * *

Ryan giggled as she reached the apartment she and Jake shared. She leaned against the inside of the front door as she pictured Brooke's face, shocked at being dissed in her hormonal state. 

"Did you have a nice time?" asked Jake, coming in to the room. She smiled at him. Even though they hadn't been together since the night of her first ultrasound, there was no tension between them anymore.

"It was nice. Brooke's being crazy, like always. Nice." She smiled again as he went down on his knees, tugged her shirt up and placed both hands on her round stomach.

The baby kicked enthusiastically, as if she knew her father was near. Ryan sighed in contentment. This was what she wanted out of her life. This and only this.

"She's growing so much," said Jake.

"She only has a little bit more to go."

They linked hands and walked to the sofa, where he carefully helped her to sit down. She leaned back in exhaustion.

"She's getting heavy. And she kicks a lot," said Ryan, feeling more like Brooke than she'd admitted to.

"You're doing great," said Jake proudly.

"You too," she agreed, leaning against him for a second. He smiled at her. Somehow, after their years of gradually drifitng apart, they'd managed to become closer than ever before.

"This is what it'll be like. At three in the morning here, while she's sleeping in your arms after being refused to be taken to bed, but she's sleeping, and you're kind of sleeping, and I'm staying awake to make sure neither of your are going to suffocate," he said.

"Jake Jagielski, you are going to make an excellent father," she said proudly.

"Ryan Scott, you already make an excellent mother," he procclaimed, pressing a kiss on to her forehead. She tilted her head upward so their lips almost touched as the phone rang, and she guiltily jerked away.

Ryan spoke on the phone for about two minutes, the excitement on her face gradually increasing. By the time she hung up, Jake had a fairly clear idea of what was going to happen.

"Brooke and Haley went simultaneously in to labour at the house, and now everyone's at the hospital. Let's go," she said, gripping the sofa arm to stand. He nodded and grabbed her purse, passing the open door of the baby's room as he did so. He glanced inside at the white and pink wallpaper, the shiny white crib, the rocking chair, the Disney princess mobile.

"Come on. Let's go."

* * *

For once, they were the only ones waiting. Every other time there had been either Brooke and Lucas or Haley and Nathan, but this time they were alone. After some nurses fussed over Ryan and they managed to convince them that she was not in labour, they sat down and hoped that these labours would be shorter than the ones in the past. 

"I guess they left Devon, Hayden, Nina and Eve with Heli. Poor woman," said Ryan sympathetically. She loved her neices and nephews, but had difficulty dealing with more than two at the same time. She glanced worriedly downward, glad that she was only having one.

"Baby try to sleep," he said encouragingly.

"I'm not tired. Nathan always used to tell this story about the time he and Lucas waited for me to be born. They were only like, six and seven but he claims to remember it perfectly. And I came out and Lucas cried because he wanted a brother and Daddy cried because he wanted a girl," related Ryan. Jake smiled.

"I'm sure it was just because he was glad to have you," he said.

"Maybe."

Ryan laid her head on Jake's shoulder and attempted to get comfortable for the long hours that lay ahead of them.

* * *

"PUSH Brooke!" said Lucas encouragingly, wiping a sweaty strand of dark hair off his wife's forehead. She turned her wide, pannicked eyes to him and he took in her red face, the droplets of sweat. 

"FUCK OFF Lucas Scott, you have NO IDEA how much this hurts," she said, letting out a groan of agony. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back, doing her best to break as many bones as she could.

Lucas shut his eyes tightly as she screamed one more time, trying to block out the noise, the blood, the feeling of helplesness as Brooke collapsed against the headboard and the doctor let out a triumphant call.

"And it's a boy!" he said. Brooke rolled her eyes tiredly.

"Well, of course. Seems like we can't make anything else," she said.

"Good job," said Lucas, kissing her, his eyes on the baby.

"Do you two have a name?" asked the doctor, as he put him in Brooke's arms. She smiled and looked down at her youngest son.

"Connor Lee Scott," she said. The doctor nodded.

"Leigh is my sister's name and I wanted to name him after her a little bit," said Lucas.

Brooke rolled her eyes. Lucas had told this to everyone who would listen for weeks, as he'd guiltily realized that he'd called a child after his father and after himself before giving one the name of his favourite sibling.

* * *

Nathan let out a sigh of relief as Haley finally pushed the baby out of her. He hated seeing her in that much pain, and he hated the feeling that it gave him. That he could do nothing to save her. 

"Hey, it's a boy," said Haley, in some surprise. Nathan grinned. He'd been nothing but joyful when his two girls had come along, but he couldn't deny the desire of a son of his own. He kissed his wife's forehead and watched critically as his son was tended to before being slipped into her arms.

Haley leaked out a tear as she gingerly touched his soft dark hair and red skin, and examined a chubby wrist ending in a small, perfect hand.

"Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Scott? I have been informed by a Ryan Scott that her family paid for half the hospital and that she is fulling willing to withdraw funding. And that I wouldn't like to get on her bad side. And uh, that any stress could cause her to go into premature labour. And that she's willing to sue. So can I let her in?" asked a nurse nervously. Haley giggled and nodded. Jake and Ryan came through the door a moment later. Nathan glanced worriedly at his sister, who was exhausted but beaming.

"Congratulations! Brooke and Lucas had a boy. His name's Connor. What kind is this one?" asked Ryan eagerly. Nathan rolled his eyes at his sister.

"It's a little guy," said Nathan.

"Yeah. His name's Nathaniel Kaden Scott. We're going to call himd Kade," said Haley proudly. They had landed on the name two weeks previously after it had occurred to Haley that they might have a girl and not a boy.

"Kade. It's a good name," said Jake. He smiled, knowing what everyone was thinking: it was okay now. Everything had been said, and now it was good. Kade was not a replacement of something that could never be replaced. But he was good anyway. And they needed him.

"They're going to close when they grow up," observed Ryan.

"Yeah. Little menaces. Good thing you're having a girl, sis," said Haley, kissing her son's forehead.

"Nina and Eve will have to take her under their wing and teach her how to kick their asses if they try and gang up on her," said Ryan.

"Yeah. But she is a Scott. Who knows, it might come naturally," said Haley.


	109. Right Me When I'm Wrong

Chapter One Hundred Nine: Right Me When I'm Wrong

Ryan looked up as Jake came in the front door, walking quickly, looking anxious. She'd sent his reluctant self out to help Brooke, who was going crazy, but he'd returned as quickly as possible.

"Are you okay?" he asked, rushing to kneel in front of her. She nodded and guided one of her hands to his stomach, where the baby was bouncing around.

"You worry too much. How was Connor?" asked Ryan. Jake shook his head.

"Haley had Kade, and they kept setting each other of. It was a nightmare," he said.

"Poor thing."

"I'm much more worried about you. How are you feeling?" he asked. She groaned.

"Like she should have come out almost a week ago. They say they'll induce me tomorrow," she said. He nodded and rested his cheek against her hair, wishing for so many reasons that tomorrow would come faster.

* * *

Jake took a deep breath as he paced in the hospital waiting room, willing himself to be calm. He reasoned that he should be comfortable with private hospital waiting rooms. After all, six children had been born to two of his best friends in the last six years. One had had a miscarriage, his parents had died. Many tragedies had led to many, many hospital visits. 

He looked up in relief as Nathan came crashing in to the room and ran toward him immediately.

"Dude, what's wrong? Is she okay?" asked Nathan anxiously. Jake wondered if "she" referred to Ryan, or to their daughter.

"No. Not yet. We came down here to induce but the baby's breached and it turns out they have to do an immediate c-section to get her out of there. And they haven't said anything yet," said Jake, his voice edging on panic. They awkwardly man hugged.

"She'll be fine. She's a fighter. Don't worry," said Nathan.

"Sorry to bring you down here. I know you have Kade and the girls," said Jake apoligetically.

"I've got Heli down there with Haley, they'll be fine. I'm here for you bro," said Nathan. Jake almost smiled. Despite the genetic link, Nathan had always been a brother to him, ever since the summer after he'd broken up with Peyton and spent the entire time with the broken Scott family.

Jake leapt up immediately as a doctor approached, his heart in his throat. Ryan was everything to him. If... No. He couldn't let himself think about it.

"How is Ryan?" he asked. The doctor's face was calm and serence.

"She'll be just fine. She has a small body and narrow hips, it might be hard for her to give birth naturally. But she's tough," said the doctor.

"That's my girl," said Jake in relief.

"You should be proud of your wife, Mr. Jagielski," said the doctor approvingly.

"And... my little girl? She's okay? She got out in time?" asked Jake, suddenly realizing that she hadn't been mentioned.

"She's perfect. A bit on the small side, especially considering how late she was, but her lungs are fine and there's no damage that we can see," said the doctor, walking away. Nathan put a hand on Jake's shoulder, relieved for him and happy for his first niece.

"Can I see them?" called Jake.

"Soon."

Jake sat down on a chair and dropped his head into his hands, disbelief and an overwhelming sense of relief flooding through him.

"I'm a father," he said in amazement.

Nathan sat down next to him and once again put his hand on his shoulder.

"Yes you are. I know the feeling," he said comfortingly.

"Ryan just had a baby. Ryan's like sixteen," argued Jake. Nathan smiled.

"To be fair, Ryan is about twenty-four. Breath, man. You han handle this. You can do more than handle it. This will become the best thing that ever happened to you," said Nathan.

"It already is. Every time our little girl kicked inside of her, I suddenly felt like I was worth something, you know? I created life. Now someone's always going to rely on me. Somebody will need me," he said.

"Do you love her?" asked Nathan bluntly. Jake looked up in surprise and met his quasi brother-in-law's dark blue eyes.

"I..." At that moment, a call rang out for Jake, that Ryan was ready to see him. He paused for a moment, staring at Nathan, his mouth hanging open before standing up abruptly and running off to follow the nurse.

Jake's eyes jumped to Ryan, lying on the bed, as he entered. He smiled at the bundle wrapped in a pink blanket, a pink fuzzy hat on her head.

"I've got someone for you to meet, Mr. Jagielski," said Ryan proudly, throwing back her blonde hair.

"Show me," he said. He leaned down and picked up his daughter in his arms, perching on the edge of Ryan's bed.

His eyes softened as he took in the small, perfect face, the wisps of almost invisible blonde hair. She opened her eyes momentarily, found herself to be in the arms of someone new, and quickly decided she didn't care.

"She's got your eyes," commented Ryan, as her eyelids fluttered closed again. Balancing his daughter in one arm, he squeezed her mother's hand.

"She is beautiful," he said. Ryan smiled complacently. "She's all you."

"Do you have a name?" asked a nurse. Ryan shook her head.

"Baby girl Jagielski-Scott," she said, watching as Jake passed her away with reluctance.

"So," he said, watching as she walked away, and taking Ryan's hand in his. "Guess we have to work on that."

* * *

"You guys really suck at this. I still think you should have called her Brooke and left it at that," said Brooke, peering down into her niece's minute face. Ryan rolled her eyes. 

"We can think of lots of names. We just can't agree on any," said Ryan. Haley, who was sitting on Nathan's lap with his arms looped around her waist, smiled slightly.

"Call her Caitlin. It's what we would have called Kade," said Haley, glancing toward her young son who was sleeping in a small bassinet at her feet.

"And I'm glad you didn't have to," said Ryan.

"Kirsten," suggested Nathan.

"No," said Jake immediately.

"This is so unfair. I have like ninety names saved up for girls but I can't give you any because I plan on using them for mine," said Brooke. Lucas glanced apprehensively at her and tightened his hold on Connor.

"Danielle. Uh, Shannon," said Lucas. Ryan raised an eyebrow.

"God, I'm a hairs breadth away from calling her Davis," she said, rolling her eyes.

"You would not believe how much I want to stop doing this. So, for my sanity's sake, we'll flip a coin. The winner chooses the first name and the loser choses the second," said Brooke, grabbing a quarter out of her pocket. Ryan looked liable to protest, so she quickly flipped. "Call it in the air."

"Heads," said Ryan immediately.

The coin spun in the air before landing in Brooke's open hand. She turned it on to her forearm and showed everyone the head's side, clear as day.

"Ha," said Ryan, making a small dance of victory.

"Choose," said Brooke bluntly.

"Uh, Jamie," she said.

"Fine. Jake?"

Jake rolled his eyes, as though in disbelief that he'd managed to sidle himself with a family such as this.

"Lara."

"Perfect. Jamie Lara Jagielski-Scott, I wish you a very good life," said Brooke, handing her off to her mother and grabbing Connor from her husband as he began to wale.

"Welcome to the world, Jamie," murmured Ryan. She leaned down and kissed her daughter's forehead before smiling up at Jake. He winked at her.

This was right. Above all, she knew that this was where she wanted to be.


	110. Can You Tell Me Why?

Chapter One Hundred-Ten: Can You Tell Me Why?

* * *

Author's note: I confess that in posting I have something of an ulterior motive. Want to go vote for me at the writers911 board awards? I'd love you forever... Sorry. _

* * *

_

_Several Years Later _

"MOM!" screamed a voice from the bottom of the stairs. Haley wiped a hand across her sweaty brow before running down, pulling Nina by the hand as she went.

"Evie sweetie, calm down," she said, kneeling down to fix the tie her daughter was wearing.

"But we don't have any time. We're going to be late," she said urgently. Haley kissed her forehead and attempted to smooth her daughter's long, wild curls.

"We're not, I promise."

"But it's my first day," she said. Haley looked at her, proudly clutching her Spongebob Squarepants backpack.

"And it's going to be perfect if you give me a second. Stay with Nina," said Haley, shepharding her slightly smaller, blonder daughter to stand by taller, darker Eve. Eve sighed impatiently, showing everyone the stress of her seven-year old life. She took Nina's hand as Haley rushed off to find Kade.

* * *

"Baby, you get Hayden and I'll get Devon. I've got a good feeling about today, I think we might actually be on time," said Brooke proudly, rolling over in bed to lightly peck her husband's lips. 

"And we hope that Connor and Zoë spontaneously learn how to take care of themselves for the morning?" he suggested. She rolled her eyes.

"No, silly. We just hope they keep sleeping."

She peeked in on her small sleeping daughter, one year old Zoë Christiana, as she hurried past to Devon's room. After three sons, the girl was something of a novely.

"Baby, you awake?" asked Brooke, pausing in her eldest son's doorway. Somewhere in the vast house she heard Lucas awaken eight year old Hayden.

"Yeah. Yeah. Is it time, Mommy?" he asked sleepily.

"Yes. It's that time again," she said sadly.

"Don't have the baby while I'm at school," he instructed her.

"I'm not nearly far along yet," she said comfortingly. He'd taken to the news of the fifth child with surprising ease.

Brooke got up and left as Devon lept out of bed and began searching for his school uniform. They still had two more kids to handle. Plus, breakfast wasn't about to make itself.

* * *

"I don't want to get up," mumbled Ryan, as the sun streamed into the window and hit her eyes. 

"Then don't," said Jake, rolling over to face her. Between them, three-year-old Jamie began to stir. She looked apprehensively at him as she rolled over and finally went back to sleep.

"Good. Let's stay here all day," said Ryan.

"We promised quite a few people we'd be there to see them off," reminded Jake. Ryan propped herself up on her elbows and let her long hair stream backward and pile onto her pile.

"Damnit. And here I was getting all glad that she's still too young for this stuff. Jay, wake up," said Ryan, shaking her daughter. Jamie snapped her eyelids shut tighter and waved her hand at her mother's intruding one. Laughing, Ryan sat Jamie up and waited while she awoke.

"Lazy thing. Come on," said Ryan, offering her hand. Jamie shakily stood up and took Ryan's hand as she leapt off the wide, high white bed that the three of them generally shared.

Jamie's small bare feet made smacking noises against the wooden floors as the three of them made their way through the apartment to the kitchen.

As they entered the kitchen Jake began to converse with their daughter, Ryan leaned against the wall and sneaked a glance at Jake's bare chest. He wasn't her lover, husband or boyfriend, but she'd never been able to stop looking.

"I'll make pancakes," she volunteered, reaching for the frying pan and pulling open a cupboard. She smiled gratefully at him as he flicked on the coffe machine.

He knew her well.

"Haley's probably going crazy," murmured Ryan, as she rooted through the cupboard for ingredients.

"Yeah. Her and Nathan have really..." he let his comment fall, not sure of what he wanted to say. Only sure of that he didn't want it to be true.

Ryan caught her daughter's eye and smiled. It was impossible not to smile, upon looking at Jamie. Especially in her white nightgown. Her white blonde hair curled around her cheeks, her brown eyes were fringed with long, thick eyelashes. Her red lips stuck out in contrast with her fair skin.

Jamie called out for her Aunt Haley as they entered the house. Eve, Nina, Devon and Hayden were waiting in the front hall, all attired stiffly in school uniforms. Ryan glanced at Eve's resentment at being in her navy tunic, thinking of how much her niece would appreciate the kneesocks as a teenager.

"Ryan!" screamed Eve, throwing herself at her Aunt. Ryan caught her niece and held her tightly, kissing Eve's dark curls. After seven years, Ryan was still her favourite person.

Nina, tall, blonde and bronze skinned, allowed her Aunt to hug her before turning to her young cousin in interest. Ryan took a deep breath as Brooke and Haley entered with Zoë , Connor and Kade. It was definitely a full house.

"Ryan sweetie, Heli isn't here yet. Can you take care of the three of them while we take these four to school?" asked Haley, looking haggard. Ryan glanced between her two brother's wives. Brooke was looking casual but well put together, well rested and fresh. Haley looked exhausted, as though she'd lived too much.

"Of course," said Ryan, putting sympathetic arms around her sister. Haley hugged back as if she'd forgotten how.

Ryan quickly hugged her two nephews with one arm each as their mothers herded them out and into the black car waiting out front. Ryan waved before gathering the four youngest in to herself and picking up small Zoë into her arms.

Outside, a pair of eyes stared as the four children and Brooke and Haley climbed into the company car, chattering excitedly. She examined their immaculate school uniforms, their young, trendy mothers.

She looked at the big house, the expensive car. At the life she'd left behind. She glanced in the big bay window and saw Ryan Scott with a smaller blonde child, presumably the third of Nathan and Haley.

She rifled a hand through her blonde curls before walking away, hoping that this was not to be considered as stalking.


	111. I Wanted To Believe

Chapter One Hundred Eleven: I Wanted To Believe

* * *

Author's note: Someone requested a list of all the kids, so here it is with their ages. 

**Haley and Nathan**:

Eva Elizabeth Scott (Eve), **seven**

Nina Larisa Scott, **six**

Nathaniel Kaden Scott (Kade), **three**

**Brooke and Lucas have**:

Devon Keith Scott, **nine**

Hayden Lucas Scott, **eight**

Connor Lee Scott, **three**

Zoe Christiana Scott, **one**

_Brooke is pregnant._**  
**

**Ryan and Jake**:

Jamie Lara Jagielski-Scott, **three

* * *

**

Peyton waited anxiously on the stoop of the Manhattan apartment building, praying he still lived here. Praying he no longer lived here with _her_.

When another ring proved fruitless, she slipped inside as a tenant entered, and ran up the two flights of stairs. She'd lived here for a year, almost ten years previously. It still felt like home.

She knocked impatiently on the door until he answered it.

"Hey," he said, opening it. He looked down.

Peyton looked down at her feet and swallowed nervously. It had been five years. Longer. It had been a lifetime. She looked up nervously to meet his brown eyes, wishing she could still read his heart.

"Come in," he said shakily.

Peyton stared on the couch, a different one than the one they'd had.

"How've you been?" she asked.

"Where've you been? It's been five years," he said in disbelief.

"Europe. South America, for a while," she shrugged. He stared. She was acting as if this was nothing. As if he should be used to hanging out with his soulmate in the apartment he shared with his daughter and her mother.

"Did you miss me?" he asked, the words rising unbidden to his lips.

"Of course." She looked into his brown eyes absorbing their depth, his scent. "Every day."

Jake was silent for a second, consdering this. He couldn't do anything about it, even if he wanted to. He couldn't touch her, love her, marry her. He'd signed her away. She couldn't be anything to him. He wasn't sure he wanted her to be.

He wasn't even sure if he still needed her.

His eyes wideneded as Ryan came through the door, pulling the baby stoller with her. He leapt up and Peyton sent him a look of amazement.

"Ryan! Jay! You're back!" he said. Ryan looked shocked and hurt for a second before reparing her face.

"Peyton. Hi," she said stiffly. She lifted her daughter out of her stroller and held her on her hip almost defiantly.

"Wow. Wow. She's... yours?" asked Peyton, her voice getting gradually higher as she spoke. Ryan sent Jake another hurt look. He quickly decided to repair the damage in favour of the woman he'd spent the last ten years with.

"Ours," he said, putting a hand (a left, non ring baring hand) on her shoulder.

Peyton slowly approached, her eyes on the child. The child that should have been hers. God, she almost could have been. Jamie's hair was curly and blonde, in Ryan's lighter, natural colour. Her eyes were Jake's.

She was beautiful.

"She's perfect," noted Peyton cheerfully. Ryan's eyes shone, feeling at once remorseful for a girl who'd tried so hard to let her love be happy.

"This isn't the best time Peyton, but we'd love to catch up. Do you want to come to dinner some night this week?" she asked, trying to sound earnest and not catty. Peyton nodded.

"I'd like that. Much less intense than seeing... everyone. Don't tell them, okay? How many kids are there now?" she asked.

"Uh, seven? Devon, Hayden, Evie, Nina, Connor, Kade and Zoë . And Jay, of course," said Ryan. Peyton nodded, looking distracted, before darting out of the apartment. Ryan turned helplessly to Jake.

"What was that? Is she back? Are you getting back together? What about Jamie? She doens't need another mother, she needs her parents. Remember how she hurt you Jake? Remember?" she asked, her voice faltering, tears beginning to flood her eyes. Jake reached out, took Jamie from her arms, set her on the floor and pulled Ryan in to his own arms.

As her petite body shook with sobs he held her tightly, grounding her, keeping her with him. As fear and doubt rose in her, he kissed away her tears, telling her he needed her. As her terror ran through her, he scared it away.

"I'm not about to leave you, baby," he said.

"Ever," she said, as firmly as her shaken voice was able.

"Ever," he agreed, squeezing her emphatically. "I wouldn't have had Jamie with you if I didn't think I could stick around. Maybe this isn't true love, but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Ryan sniffled, and thought briefly of her time before him.

"Yeah. Me too."

* * *

Peyton walked home, blindly stepping onto a busy road and pulling back as the roar of traffic sounded in her ears. She wasn't used to this. She was used to South American children asking to have their pictures taken. She was used to putting together houses and shopping for knockoff bags and tribal jewellry in Buenos Aires. Not honks, or sirens. It was too much. She wanted to go home. 

But she didn't know quite where home was anymore.

She shakily flagged down a taxi and rode to her apartment. She turned her face away from Nathan and Haley's house as they passed, unwilling for another glimpse of their perfect, red cheeked children, boundless in their health and happiness. It was all too much.

She'd never imagined that upon leaving behind her world, it would continue on without her.

There was nowhere she could go. Not to loyal Brooke, or devoted Lucas, or tragic Haley or impassive Nathan. There was no one to save her.

Peyton slowly walked up to the apartment building, wishing desperately for the hot South American sun instead of the stiff, dirty air of Manhattan. It was no longer beautiful to her.

She rode silently up the elevtor.

There was no one to save her. So she went back to the one person that had always been there, in the oddest, most abstract way she'd ever known.

"Hey, you're home. What do you think, black pumps or red stilettos?" asked Davis Ryan, coming in to the main room. Peyton smiled falsely and leaned against the door.

Right then, she wanted nothing more than to just go back to the beginning.


	112. Do You Ever Long For

Chapter One Hundred Twelve: Do You Ever Long For?

* * *

Author's note: After this chapter, there are three more.

* * *

Haley didn't worry that he was worrying. They didn't need each other with the all consuming passion that they once had. He didn't even want her as he once had. She'd born three of his children, lost one, and now all she was to him was their mother and not his woman, the love of his life.

She wondered if he was asleep. She wondered if he could now sleep without her. She could sleep without him. She wondered what his dreams were, and who haunted them in her absence. She shivered, thinking of the bed empty without her. She shrugged off the thought. Even without her there, the place by his side would belong to her. Always.

Haley fingered the thick document on the leather desk in front of her. She knew what it signified. She didn't know if she was ready for it.

* * *

Peyton glanced guiltily around her shoulder as Davis stepped out of the apartment, calling merrily to her as she left. She liked the company, Peyton realized. Peyton liked the company, too. There was no denying that there was something between her and Davis. 

She rifled through her underwear drawer which consisted most of lacy thongs, wrinkling her noise in distaste.

This wasn't what she was looking for.

She hoped desperately that she wouldn't find what she was looking for.

* * *

Haley helped herself to a shot of tequila, her fourth of the evening. She needed it, to dull the pain which would not be dulled. 

Her eyes fell on the picture of the five of them. Her children were beautiful. Dark, mysterious Eve, fair, pure Nina, small, adorable Kade. Kade was so like his father, Nina so like her. They were theirs, and they bound them together.

They wouldn't be split apart. It wouldn't make them unhappy. Staying together because of them would do more harm then good.

Nathan was her lover. He always would be. As much distance as she put between them, one day she knew she'd always look over her shoulder and find him right behind her, right where she left him. She was fairly sure that she'd be able to handle this, come the day. She didn't know if she could handle more of her dull, unending monotony.

Her eyes hovered on the neat stack of documents, an obvious effect of Heli. Haley had once been so unsure of Heli, certain that she was going to seduce her husband and steal away her children. She knew now that she would not. Heli had a heart of gold, and was entirely trustable. She'd be their mother when Haley could not be.

* * *

A sob threatened to shake Peyton's body as she unearthed a revolver in Davis' jewellry box. She clutched it and sat on the bed, staring ahead. She wanted so badly to believe that Davis was the good one. That underneath her bitchiness, she was the one Peyton could trust, could rebuild her life with. 

She knew now she could not. Davis had tried to kill Haley and her baby. Davis had possible tried to kill Nathan, years ago in Tree Hill. She was unbalanced and she was a felon. Haley, Peyton's best friend despite it all, had gone through hell because of the one person that Peyton had truly trusted.

But one thing shone through. Some how or other, Davis was a conduit to redemption.

* * *

Haley ran swiftly up the wide marble staircase, down a wood panelled, portrait bearing hall to her second daughter's room. She didn't know why her footsteps led her there of all place. Maybe because she saw herself in Nina. Maybe because she knew deep down that Nina would be hurt most of all. Maybe because deep down, Nina was her favourite. 

Nina twitched slightly as her mother gently pulled back her covers and pulled her small body on to her lip. She ran a hand through Nina's long blonde hand, touched her sun kissed skin. Nina was perfect. She always would be. She'd be the Brooke of Manhattan society. And Haley would be proud of her. But it wasn't enough to stay.

She remember Nina's conception. She wondered if, when this beautiful child had come into being, if she'd been tied to the bedposts or if he'd been fucking her from behind like a dog. It was more than likely.

That couldn't have been Haley, herself. Surely it had been someone else.

She clung to this hope desperately for a second.

* * *

She mechanically dug through Davis' stuff, unearthing more and more evidence, slowly breaking her heart as she went. She found records of Haley's interactions, the first evidence that she was to have a child, her itinerary, transcripts of her telephone conversations. It was incredible what she'd been able to collect. 

How was this possible? Davis was a liar, Davis was a backstabbing bitch. Davis was not a murderer, attempted or otherwise. Even Nathan would vouch for that.

Not that he would, after he found out what she'd done to Haley. He'd more likely kill her with his bare hands. It wasn't as if he wasn't capable.

That summer. That's where it had started, for all of them. And somehow, it was the end for Peyton. It had put her down her long path to rock bottom. This was rock bottom.

This was her hell.

* * *

At three in the morning, Haley silently dressed herself. She didn't know why she bothered. She put on a short, seductive nightdress and draped herself in a silk dressing gown. She brushed her long blonde hair until it shone over her shoulders. She wanted to look perfect for this last. 

Hours later, at seven, Nathan searched for her before discovering her in his study. He stared at her for a second, taking in the sight of her, sensing darkness.

"Where were you last night?" he asked slowly.

"Why do you ask Nathan, when you so obviously don't want to know?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Haley..."

"I was right here. Contemplating," she said. She picked the document and handed it to him.

"What is this?" he asked blankly.

"And why do you ask, Nathan, when you already know the answers?"

He flipped it open. "Don't. You can't. I need you, Haley."

"I have to, Nathan. You've put me on a pedestal. You can't see me as a person. And I can't spend my entire life with someone who'd..."

"That? Haley, that was eight years ago. Can't you just..." he hurried over around the desk, and she took a step back, knowing that if he touched her she couldn't control herself.

"Don't. I've fulfilled everything. I've done everything. I've earned the right to be me again," she said, looking downward. He moved to place a hand on her forearm.

She turned and ran.


	113. Come What May

Chapter One Hundred Thirteen: Come What May

* * *

Author's note: Can I just say that you guys are like the best reviewers ever? After all the stuff I've put you through, I wouldn't be nearly so nice. Thanks for that. I'm almost at 1500, and I love you for it. And uh, sorry for putting you through yet more stuff.

* * *

Jamie Lara Jagielski-Scott, her father's Princess, her mother's darling, her family's miracle, slid down the biggest slide in the park and was caught by her fahter. He gleefully twirled her around, zooming around the small park with her high above his head, her arms stretched ahead of her like a small rocket.

She called for her mother and Ryan leapt up and began to chase them around the small grassed area, calling out for her. Jamie shrieked in excitement. A shriek of mirth could be heard as Ryan tackled Jake and the small family collasped in a heap on the grass, laughing in exhaustion.

The small energetic, beautiful family were the centre of the attention of everyone in the park.

And the centre of the young blonde woman who watched them, her brown eyes fixed on their antics, absorbing their glee, inserting herself in.

Peyton sighed. Once, a long time ago, that place had been cut out for her. It had been. Now it was gone. She'd ruined it, Davis had ruined it, Christian Braddock had helped. A thousand reasons stood between her and Jake, and she could no longer see through them.

It was time, finally, to concede. Concede to the beautiful blonde woman who'd love him always, who would be a better person than her always.

Jake plucked the colorful hat off his daughter's head and held it enticingly out of her reach. Peyton stared at him as she jumped repeatedly in the air, her chubby fist outstretched. Jake was handsome as ever, fit as ever, good as ever. Too good for her always. Out of her reach forever.

Not her true love, she finally realized. Maybe he'd never been.

Peyton remember the feel of his body against hers, the feel of his lips, the sound of his voice when whispering tender things in her ear. These things belonged to her. Always. She almost smiled. Maybe she didn't regret it, after all.

She turned and walked away from the park.

Ryan glanced over shoulder as if she detected her presence, but said nothing. After all, her life was better when it was just them.

* * *

"Knock knock," came a voice from the door. Peyton glanced upward, her mind still on the viewing of Jake's daughter. 

"Davis," she said softly, beckoning her friend in to the room.

"You look terrible. What's up?" she asked.

"Have you seen Jake's daughter? She's beautiful. Just like both of them," she said.

"You finally going to stop screwing with them?" asked Davis, dropping into a chair, purposefully giving Peyton a view of her breasts.

"Yeah."

Peyton glanced up at Davis, willing her to be Haley. Or even Brooke. Someone remotely sympathetic. Preferably Jake, who could never be hers again.

"It's about time. He's ridiculously cute with that Scott girl," she said abruptly.

"Somehow or other, all my best friends ended up ridiculously cute with a Scott," she said.

"Really? I heard Nathan and Haley were splitting," said Davis, her face blank.

"Yeah, no thanks to you," snarled Peyton, standing up and walking to the window.

"Please, I haven't screwed with them since the summer of 2006," she said in disbelief.

"I never understood why. You didn't love Nathan, you still don't."

"It wasn't because of Nathan. It was because of Haley," said Davis.

"What?"

"She ruined my life. She became me. Everyone loves her, everyone knows her and her perfect children. They don't need me anymore," she said.

"Okay, that's pathetic. You thought if you ruined any chance of happiness they had, he'd take you back and make you perfect again? Is that why you..." Peyton's words died on her tongue. Deep down, she didn't want to believe what she knew to be the truth.

"Why I what?"

"You tried to kill her. And him," said Peyton.

Davis didn't deny and didn't agree. Her face was blank. Peyton cautiously stepped forward. When they were only inches away, staring in to each other's eyes, Peyton leaned forward and kissed her.

Davis reacted in surprise for only a moment before returning the kiss. They kissed longingly, the kiss of the long seperated, the long desired. Davis mixed one hand in to Peyton's blonde curls while Peyton let her own slid down Davis' hip.

An instant after Peyton's hand slid onto her thigh, Davis pulled away. Staring at Peyton in amazement, she made a move to snatch her phone again out of Peyton's hand.

"What, you're cutting me off? Are you conning me?" she asked. Peyton shrugged.

"Just searching for redemption," she said.

"Please. They're never going to forgive you. You'll always be the one that tried to break up Jake and Ryan, and slept with her professor, and slept with me. They don't need you anymore Peyton," said Davis scathingly.

"You need me."

"I don't need anyone," said Davis viciously, stepping forward to lessen the gap between them.

"Liar." Peyton leaned forward, as if to kiss her again. Suddenly her eyes widened in shock, and her breath came out in a raspy gasp.

She slowly sank to the floor as Davis withdrew the knife she'd stuck in her stomach, and blood poured out of the wound. As Peyton's breathing became slow and irregular, and her heart failed as the blood made a large, sinister pool on the floor, Davis walked over to her, her own breathing shakey. She stood over her body and stared in to her eyes.

"I'm..." Davis wasn't quite sure, if for the first time in her life she was going to make an apology. For a long moment, it certaintly seemed that way.

Peyton made an indistinguishable sound. For an instant, Shannon Davis looked remorseful.

"Jake..." whispered Peyton, as her eyes lost their shine and looked blankly up at the ceiling. Davis held her own breath, listening desperately for the sound of a heart beat, the faintest of breaths, movement in the body on the floor.

It didn't come.

And suddenly, more than ever before, she was lost.


	114. Give Me a Reason to Stay

Chapter One Hundred Fourteen: Give Me A Reason to Stay

* * *

Author's note: Try to imagine the following scene as like a movie, with intercut bits, maybe with a soundtrack in the background. It'll make it make a lot more sense.

* * *

Ryan tightly clutched her young daughter's hand while Jake went into Peyton's room. She felt slightly guilty, as though she was flaunting something, but Jake had insisted, after all. Jamie smiled up at her and she smiled back. 

"Daddy?" she called into the bedroom. Ryan made to shush her daughter, but her words stilled when Jake appeared.

Draped in his arms was a long, slender form. Her head thrown back, her blonde curls falling, was Peyton Sawyer, seemingly lifeless, held lovingly in the arms of her beloved. Ryan let out a startled gasp and dropped Jamie's hand to run to her love and his ex-lover.

"Is she..?" Ryan let the question hang in the air and fall to the ground.

Peyton was white, her skin unmarred. Until Ryan's eyes reached her stomach and discovered the wide, gaping stab wound. Despite this she looked beautiful, as ever. Ryan touched her hand. But so cold…

"Mommy, what's…" Jamie's voice was high and complaining. Ryan shushed her daughter in annoyance.

"CPR?" she suggested weakly, laying a hand on Jake's arm to awaken him from his reverie.

"Yeah. Get her out of here. Call an ambulance!" he said, his voice strained. She nodded and grabbed Jamie's hand, pulling her reluctant body out the door.

Ryan held her daughter tightly as she began to cry out complainingly. She didn't soothe her, knowing that there was no way she could. She listenened to Jake breath into Peyton, listened to him attempt fruitlessly to give life to his old love.

Jamie let out a cry of alarm as three paramedics rushed down the hall, carrying a stretcher between them. Ryan leapt up and cradeled her daughter in her arms, directing the three of them silently in to the room.

"Are you okay, Miss?" asked the third, pausing as he passed, glancing between Ryan and her child.

"We're fine. She's in there," said Ryan stiffly, watching as the three of them attempted to revive her. Ryan had always known it was over but as Jake saw them shake their heads, he knew it as well.

Ryan, Jake and Jamie watched as Peyton was carried off on the stretcher. Ryan dropped her hand and linked it with Jake's.

"Come on, baby, let's go home," she said softly.

* * *

Ryan slowly approached where Jake sat on the edge of their bed, staring ahead. This she couldn't handle. They'd lived asexually together for years, raised a child, but never this. This was unfathomable. 

She sat down beside him on the crisp cotton sheet and took his hand in hers again.

"If there's anything I can do..." she began.

"Just..." he broke down in sobs.

Ryan moved onto his lap and wrapped her arms around her neck. She tried to quell the feelings that rose in her. It had been so long...

She comfortingly kissed his shut eye, his cheek, his ear, the corner of his mouth. She pulled away and their eyes met. His were now opened properly as he leaned forward.

* * *

"So, do you want me to move out?" he asked. 

"Nathan..."

"Do you want all the money, too? After all, you are the victim of course. You're the poor defenceless woman," he burst out angrily. He angrily grabbed a vase from the table, one which was his and her's, and threw it at the wall. Haley clamped her hands over her ears as the chrystal shattered.

"Don't do this, Nathan. I've fulfilled my prenup, I've done everything you asked. I just want out," she said miserably.

"Maybe we should split the kids up, too. You get the girls, I get Kade. We wouldn't want to hurt them, after all. Well, I don't. Don't know about you, you don't seem to care who you hurt anymore," said Nathan.

"Nathan, I just can't do this anymore. Can't you understand that? I love you, but it was never meant to work out. You know that Nathan, as much as you've tried to deny it. I can't stay with someone who's hurt me as deeply as you have. You lied to me just to get me. And maybe it excited me once. All of it. But it doesn't any more. All there is is pain. And I can't spend the rest of my life with someone who'd treat me in the ways you have. Maybe if you did it the right way, or if I hadn't been so proud, it would have worked out. If we'd been honest to each other from the beginning. But we weren't. So we can't."

"You're just doing this to punish me, Haley. I know you. You can't reason with yourself that you could love someone like me. But you do. And you _know_ this isn't over."

Haley scowled at him and picked up the portable phone perched on the shiny wood dining table as she did.

"What?" she barked. Her face softened. Her eyes gradually grew and dominated her face, making her appear smaller and childlike. Nathan slowly walked across the room and somehow appeared by her side. He put a comforting hand on her elbow as she dropped the phone.

"Who?" he asked gently, knowing that it was someone. Haley looked up at him in amazement.

"Peyton."

* * *

Jake tangled his hands in Ryan's hair, their lips on fire. She could not remember a time like this, when such pain had transofrmed itself into such desperate need. He held her wrists on the bed beside her head after he stripped their clothes, and trailed kisses down her stomach

* * *

Nathan wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tiny body into his as he'd done countless times. They couldn't be over. He couldn't let it happen. He leaned down to kiss her.

* * *

Flesh touched flesh. Lust found its roots and began to flourish in them, the so long denied. Jake toyed with her nipple, wondering how he could be with her so often and not be truly with her.

* * *

Haley deepened their kiss, leapt up, and put her legs around his waist. He lowered her onto the dining room table, his hand already working at her bra strap, hers already working at removing his shirt.

* * *

Jake groaned as he slid into her lubed space. He began to move rhythmically, responding to her breathy cries for him. She leaned up and kissed him, hoping desperately that to be this close to him was what he needed.

* * *

Haley raised up her arms for Nathan to pull off her shirt, giving him silent permission to do his will. He lifted it off, letting his thumbs trail over her naked self, over her erect nipples. She shivered in response and kissed him again.

* * *

Ryan and Jake rolled over and began again, this time with her on top. They kissed passionately, relishing the rare opporunity to speak soley through their actions.

* * *

As he held her slightly above him against the wall of the dining room, Nathan plunged inside his wife and moaned in satisfaction as she began to move up and down his length. Digging her fingernails into his back, she let out her own moan of desire and allowed herself to take pleasure in what was most likely the last.

* * *

Jake cradled Ryan's body to his and kissed her shoulder. Hoping, yet knowing this would not cement them. That this would, in all probability, tear them apart once again.

* * *

Nathan carried Haley upstairs and lay him beside her on the bed. They hadn't shared a bed in weeks, ever since their divorce proceedings had begun. It was a relief, to know he'd finally be able to sleep.

* * *

Jake reached across the bed for the phone as it began to rang. He held it to his ear as the NYPD announced itself. 

"Yeah. Jake here," he said.

"Miss Sawyer was discovered to be living with a Davis Ryan. Is she an aquaintance of either of yours, Mr. Jagielski?" asked the officer. Suddenly memories flowed through his mind: of Davis conveniently leaving town the day Nathan was shot, of Haley being shot around the time of Ryan's graduation, when Davis was back in town. He clenched his jaw in fury, suddenly certain of who'd destroyed his love.

"Yeah. And old friend of hers," he said nonchalently, unwilling to sell her out.

He didn't need them.

He'd extract his own vengence, in his own time.


	115. Remember Me

Chapter One Hundred Fifteen: Remember Me

* * *

Author's note: I really hate to sound like a bitch, especially in the last chapter, especially since you guys have been so amazing, but this is not a brucas. Not remotely. To be honest, I'm not even remotely a brucas shipper. When I first started writing this I didn't intend for them to be together, it just happened. This is a naley. And thank you for reading. And reviewing. So much. This is the longest story I've ever written, and I love all of you who've gotten this far. Enjoy.

* * *

Nathan's pen hovered over the clear black line. The unalterable truth that she wanted out. His eyes scanned the document-her signature was already in place. In her bubbly yet schooled hand she had written the name she'd used for the past six years-Haley Elise Scott. He laughed. It seemed hopelessly ironic, that his wife had signed away their marriage using his name. 

In the hall, he could distantly hear a harassed sounding Ryan round up his three children and her own for the funeral. For a moment, Nathan stopped feeling sorry for himself and allowed himself to feel sorry for her.

* * *

"Jake? We should go to Nathan's, they're probably going crazy," said Ryan, cautiously stepping in to his room. 

"Nathan's. That's insane. It's been Nathan and Haley's for years," he said.

"Come on," she said. She reached out to grab his hand, but stopped herself just in time, the events of the night before coming back to her.

"We don't even have the right to be sad. We haven't been close to her in years. I let her go," said Jake.

"Baby, don't do this to yourself," said Ryan imploringly.

"How can I not?"

"You loved her more than anyone. She loved you alone," said Ryan.

"Yeah. And I did a great job of showing it. You know, I love being a Dad. More than anything. I love the little yellow boots she wears when it's raining. And the way she clings to you when she's upset, like you're the only person in the world. The way she smiles and looks just like you. How she turns us into the people that are so sure that our kid is smarter than all the others. And I hurt her, Ry. I let her see Peyton. I let myself act like she doesn't matter," he said in disgust. As he spoke, Jamie called out from the next room.

"Don't," she said again.

He reached out and grabbed her upper arms. He pulled her towards him, with reluctance on her part for the first time in years. Her lips melted under his, and heat built up between them, but from his tight grip on her arms and the pain in his eye, she knew he was using her. She knew she deserved more.

She pulled away from him and ran after Jamie.

* * *

"Brookie?" asked Lucas nervously, entering the bedroom of him and his wife. 

"Baby," she murmured.

"Oh, Brooke," he said, taking her in to his arms.

"She needed us," said Brooke.

"She had us. You're not at fault," said Lucas.

"And Haley. They've been fighting it for years, but..." Brooke sobbed into his jacket. She sounded guilty to even speak of it.

"I guess they finally fought it off," said Lucas.

"Promise me we'll never fight it. _Promise_ me, Lucas Scott," she said. He tilted her chin upward and met her tragic hazel eyes.

"I promise you, Brooke Scott, that I'm here. Forever. I swear," he said. She snuggled in to his embrace.

"Good. Because I play for keeps, my love," she said, settling her head on his chest.

* * *

"NATHAN!" 

Nathan ignored his little sister as she banged on the door and called out to him. He was having a difficult time feeling sad about a woman who'd only brought pain into the hearts of the people he loved.

With a shaking hand, he picked up a black ballpoint pen from the desk and touched it's tip to the document. A moment later, he'd dropped it again. Folding it up and tucking it into an inside pocket, he strode to the door and called after Ryan.

* * *

Bizarelly, the sun burst out as they arrived in the long black cars. Haley arrived moments later. 

He watched as she stepped out of the limo. She was wearing simple, well tailored black clothing that only hinted at her curves. She shivered as his gaze fell on her.

The Scotts took up the first two rows of the church. Still attempting to create a good public face, Nathan and Haley sat with their children between them, fairly amicably.

Jake sat with his daughter on his lap, looking stoic. Ryan sat on the other side of Brooke and Lucas, avoiding his eye.

Nathan observed all this with amusement. It was unbelievable, that their supposedly strong relationships could be broken down so easily.

"Eve, take Nina and Kade and go with Auntie Brooke," said Haley. She waited until the church emptied before turning to Nathan.

"Do you have it?" she asked coolly. He watched as she erased all their memories, hid all her love.

With shaking fingers, he handed the papers to her. Relief flashed over her face as she flipped to the final page.

She looked up blankly.

"You didn't sign it," she stated.

"Never said I did."

"Nathan, I deserve this. It's in our prenup," she said, almost pleadingly.

"Maybe you do. But I'm not giving up, Haley. I can't."

"Nathan…"

"I'm not letting you go."

"But…"

Nathan put an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. His lips descended to hers, possessively and passionately. She kissed back for only a moment.

* * *

Haley watched Nathan go, knowing she'd never be free. Knowing that despite any rift between them, he'd always be the father of their children, her first love, her husband. 

As long as she lived, he'd be winning her back. It depressed her as much as it thrilled her.

* * *

Nathan watched from a respectful distance as Peyton Sawyer was slowly lowered in to the ground. As Nina began to cry softly, he lifted her onto his hip. 

He thought of the cold, empty bed waiting for him at his home. He thought of the empty house, how it had been before her. He thought of another man with his hands all over what was rightfully his, and always would be.

What was that song, that had once meant so much to her?

_And its a winding road  
I've been walking for a long time  
Still don't know  
Where it goes  
And it's a long way home  
I've been searching for a long time  
Still have hope  
I'm gonna find my way home_

Nathan stared as Kade ran across the ground to her and she lifted him in her arms.

"_I'll get you back, Haley James,_" he silently promised himself. Haley glanced up at him and hurriedly glanced away.

Finally it was over. Finally, after ten years, three children and countless heartaches her summer romance, which was never supposed to be more than just that, was finished. Her road had stopped winding, her love had stopped growing. It hadn't yet stopped shrinking. That would come later, at great cost and heartache. But she could hide it. She was good at hiding.

Nathan glanced at his sister, staring painfully and obviously at Jake. As he continued to watch, and as Peyton was lowered in to the ground, Jake slipped and arm around Jamie, who huddled close to him. Ryan glanced over and slid her hand in to his, and Nathan almost smiled. Whatever else happened to him, he knew that at the very least they'd survive. Jake and Ryan, in some form or another, would be forevr. At Brooke, her head comfortably on Lucas' shoulder, his hand on her ever so slightly swelled stomach. He knew, had always known, that they were all headed for a happy ending. He hadn't always known it about him and Haley, but he'd never faced up to it. Such a painful, passionate affair was never meant to last.

He glanced at Haley again. Whatever else they could be, whatever else they would become, he knew instinctively that they were far from over.

_The End_


End file.
